Zappa, Frank - Titties & Beer Lyrics
It was the blackest night
There was no moon in sight
You know the stars ain't shinin'
'Cause the sky's too tight
I heard the scarey wind
There was a werewolf honkin'
'Long the aide of me
I'm mean 'n I'm bad, y'know I ain't no sissy
Got a big titty girly by the name of Chrissy
Talkin' about her 'n my bike 'n me...
'N this ride up the Mountain of Mystery, mystery
I noticed even the crickets
Was actin' weird up here
Just drink a little beer
I said, "Gimme summa that what yer suckin' on"
But there was no reply
'Cause she was gone...
"Where's those titties I like so well,
'n' my godam beer!"
Is what I started to yell, then I heard this noise
Like a crunchin' twig, 'n up jumped the Devil,
He's about this big,
He had a red suit on
An' a widow's peak
An' then a pointed tail
'N like a sulphur reek
Yes, it was him awright,
I swear I knowed it was
He had some human flesh
Stuck underneath his claws
You know, it looked to me
Like it was titty skin
I said, "You sonofabifch!"
'Cause I was mad at him.
Well he just got out the floss
'N started cleanin' his fang
So I shot him with my shooter.
Said: BANG BANG BANG
The sucker just laughed 'n said, "Put it away...
You know, I ate her all up... now what you gonna say?"
YOU ATE MY CHRISSY? "Yeah! titties 'n all!"
WHAT ABOUT THE BEER THEN? "Were the cans this tall?"
EVEN HER BOOTS? "Would I lie to you?"
SHIT, YOU MUSTA BEEN HUNGRY! "Yes, this is true'.
'WELL DON'T THEY PAY Y'ALL GOOD FOR THE
STUFF THAT YOU DO?
"I can't complain when the checks come through"
WELL I WANT MY CHRISSY, 'N I WANT MY BEER
SO YOU JUST BARF IT BACK UP NOW, DEVIL,
DO YOU HEAR!
"Blow it out your ass, motorcycle man! I am the Devil,
Do you understand?
Just what will you give me for your titties and beer?
I suppose you noticed this little contract here"
YER GODDAM RIGHT, YOU SON-OF-A-WHORE,
THAT'S ABOUT THE ONLY REASON
I LEARNED WRITIN' FOR...
GIMME THAT PAPER ... BET YER ASS
I'LL SIGN... 'CAUSE I NEED A BEER, 'N IT'S TITTY-
SQUEEZIN' TIME!
"You can't fool me, man... you ain't that bad...
I mean you shoulda seen some of fhe souls I had...
Why there was Milhous Nixon 'n Agnew too...
'n both of fhose suckers was worse 'n you . .
"WELL, LET'S MAKE A DEAL IF YOU THINK THAT'S TRUE
I MEAN, YOU'RE THE DEVIL SO ... WHATCHA GONNA DO?
[improvised dialog]
"No! Don't sign it! Give me time to think ...
I mean ... hold on a minute, boy... that's
Magic Ink!"
And then the Devil puked
'N out jumped m'girl
They heard the titties PLOP-PLOPPIN'
All around the world, she said:
"I GOT ME THREE BEERS 'N A FIST FULLA DOWNS,
AN' I'M GONNA GET WRECKED, SO FUCK YOU CLOWNS!"
And then she gave us the finger,
It was rigid 'n stiff,
That's when the Devil, he farted
An' she went right over the cliff
The Devil was mad took off to my pad
I swear I do declare!
How did she get back there?
I swear I do declare!
How did she get back there?
[etc. repeat]
Other Lyrics by Artist
- Zappa, Frank - The Massive Improve'lence
- Zappa, Frank - What's New In Baltimore?
- Zappa, Frank - Cock-Suckers' Ball
- Zappa, Frank - WPLJ
- Zappa, Frank - Let's Move To Cleveland
- Zappa, Frank - Whippin' Post
- Zappa, Frank - You Didn't Try To Call Me
- Zappa, Frank - Tryin' To Grow A Chin
- Zappa, Frank - I'm The Slime
- Zappa, Frank - Don't Eat The Yellow Snow
- Zappa, Frank - The Torture Never Stops
- Zappa, Frank - Fine Girl
- Zappa, Frank - Zomby Woof
- Zappa, Frank - Be In My Video
- Zappa, Frank - The Deathless Horsie
- Zappa, Frank - The Dangerous Kitchen
- Zappa, Frank - Hot-Plate Heaven At The Green Hotel
- Zappa, Frank - Penguin In Bondage
Rand Lyrics
Last Posts
Beyonce Shakes the Internet with Surprise Super Bowl Tease and New Music Release
Beyoncé once again set the digital world abuzz with her latest musical surprise. In an unforgettable move during the Super Bowl, a Verizon commercial served...
Watch Usher’s Full Super Bowl 2024 Halftime Performance Usher, Alicia Keys, Jermaine Dupri, Ludacris,
At the 2024 Super Bowl, Usher redefined the halftime show with a dazzling, career-highlight performance that will be remembered for years to come. Taking the...
Usher Unveils ‘Coming Home’: A Journey Through Sound and Soul in His Latest Album
Spanning three decades in the music industry, Usher has consistently mesmerized fans with his soulful tunes and magnetic performances. However, his most recent project, Coming...
Zappa, Frank Titties & Beer Comments