Yankovic, Weird Al - Word Crimes Lyrics






Everybody shut up
Everyone listen up!

If you can't write in the proper way
If you don't know how to conjugate
Maybe you flunked that class
And maybe now you find
That people mock you on-line
(Everybody wise up!)

Okay, now here's the deal
I'll try to educate ya
Gonna familiarize
You with the nomenclature
You'll learn the definitions
Of nouns and prepositions
Literacy's your mission

And that's why I think it's a good time
To learn some grammar (What!?)
Now, did I stammer?
Work on that grammar
You should know when
It's "less" or it's "fewer"
Like people who were
Never raised in a sewer

I hate these word crimes
Like "I could care less"
That means you do care
At least a little
Don't be a moron
You'd better slow down
And use the right pronoun
Show the world you're no clown
Everybody wise up!

Say you got an "it"
Followed by apostrophe, "s"
Now what does that mean?
You would not use "it's" in this case
As a possessive (no no no)
It's a contraction (yeah yeah yeah)
What's a contraction?
Well, it's a shortening of a word, or a group of words by omission of a sound or letter

Okay, now here's some notes
Syntax you're always mangling
No "x" in "espresso"
Your participle's danglin'
But I don't want your drama
If you really wanna
Leave out that Oxford comma

Just keep in mind that "be", "see", "are", "you"
Are words, not letters
Get it together
Use your spell-checker
You should never
Write words using numbers
Unless you're seven
Or your name is Prince
Everybody wise up!

I hate these word crimes (I hate them crimes)
You really need a (I hate them crimes)
Full-time proofreader (I mean those crimes)
You dumb mouth-breather
Well, you should hire
Some cunning linguist
To help you distinguish
What is proper English
Everybody wise up!

One thing I ask of you
Time to learn your homophones is past due
Learn to diagram a sentence too
Always say "to whom"
Don't ever say "to who"
And listen up when I tell you this
I hope you never use quotation marks for emphasis
You finished second grade
I hope you can tell
If you're doing good or doing well
Everybody wise up!
You'd better figure out the difference
Irony is not coincidence
And I thought that you'd gotten it through your skull
What's figurative and what's literal
Oh but just now you said
You literally couldn't get out of bed (What!?)
That really makes me want to literally
Smack a crowbar upside your stupid head
Everybody wise up!

I read your e-mail
It's quite apparent
Your grammar's errant
You're incoherent
Saw your blog post
It's really fantastic
That was sarcastic (Oh, psych!)
'Cause you write like a spastic

I hate these word crimes
Everybody wise up!
Your prose is dopey
Think you should only
Write in emoji
Oh, you're a lost 'cause
Go back to pre-school
Get out of the gene pool
Try your best to not drool

Never mind I give up
Really now I give up
Go away!





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Yankovic, Weird Al Word Crimes Comments
  1. T.... o....

    hey im not bad at english youre

  2. T.... P....

    How tf have I missed this for 5 years???

  3. P.... S....

    Weird Al.... YOU ROCK!!!! Much much better than the original

  4. X.... M....

    My teacher would say stuff like that

  5. D.... M....

    Let's eat Grandma!
    Let's eat, Grandma!

    Which one is the one that Grandma lives?

  6. P.... B....

    “leave out that oxford comma”
    *bruh*

  7. M.... ....

    My 7th grade English teacher showed this to us within the first month of school. I completely forgot this song existed until tonight when it got recommended to me. If you’re out there Mr. Peterson, thank you lol

  8. s.... ....

    i thought this would be about free speech but this is better

  9. I.... a....

    ℹ️|⛔♥️|➕➕|📗✍️|📗👮‍♀️`➕➕|

  10. H.... J....

    Where’s the double negative such as “ain’t no”?

  11. A.... S....

    I love this song and I think some people actually learn some information which is really sad

  12. C.... ....

    This really helped ty i got A from my english test

  13. G.... ....

    I once heard a really dirty joke about a cunning linguist........

  14. M.... M....

    This is prob the most creative thing I've seen in a while. Keep it up.

  15. T.... o....

    It's really fantastic!

    I was sarcastic.(ah sike)

  16. A.... L....

    The english language is so difficulte !

    French: hold my dictionnary.

    A.... L....

    Antoine Le Raton Laveur you spelt difficult incorrectly

  17. t.... E....

    Every dog has it's day XD

  18. K.... ....

    remeber thia?

  19. w.... ....

    ngl the music video is pretty fucking lit

  20. T.... L....

    1:29 is SO ANNOYING with people, they always think the apostrophe is correct..

  21. y.... h....

    Anyone else see clippy

  22. T.... T....

    Big dic...tionary

  23. S.... T....

    Robin Thicke, Pharrell Williams, and T.I. made a parody of this and it’s worse.

    S.... T....

    Steve The Rapper
    Please tell me what it is
    Pretty please

    S.... T....

    Lemmon Boy blurred lines

    S.... T....

    @Lemmon Boy It was a joke that the original is actually the parody because this song is good and the original is terrible. I know it's hard to follow all that, but stay with me.

    S.... T....

    @matrixphijr dude i think they got the joke

  24. M.... ....

    7hats' an gud vid. 1 r3aly c wut ur vid30 was triing 2 convei

  25. H.... ....

    i’m gonna use the Oxford comma, not sorry

    H.... ....

    Sorry not sorry.

  26. B.... A....

    Noice vidio lol

    B.... A....

    Black Adam genios

  27. k.... o....

    My brothers or cousin is going to the festival.

  28. a.... k....

    I am gonna do word crime
    "yest3dai i go to a pahk"
    "yesterday i went to a park"

  29. M.... E....

    Musical threesome: Robin Thicke ripped off Marvin Gaye and Weird Al ripped off Robin Thicke!

  30. S.... W....

    I can't not hear cheese now from mlp....

  31. D.... A....

    Theme song for English class

  32. D.... C....

    Deer all thanx so mutch four thiss song. It literally kilz me to here it when I here it

  33. t.... m....

    Please rise to the grammar Nazi anthem

  34. A.... ....

    Ladies and Gentlemen, let us rise for the national anthem of all grammarnazis.

  35. S.... ....

    I love how some americans don't know basic rules of english even though a European teenager from an ex-soviet nation can speak fluently (not trying to say **cough** any-- **cough**)

    S.... ....

    @Lucas Ah yes...

  36. M.... ....

    I came from Wikipedia about Doge

  37. M.... ....

    if english teachers arent showing this in high school classes, this video is being wasted

  38. S.... 5....

    0k w3ird AL i undorstand

  39. O.... D....

    thansk f0r teaing me grenar, and its expreso

  40. o.... o....

    This song was good until every English teacher decided to play it in class.

  41. D.... J....

    Best. Song. Ever...... it's "ironic" he didn't menshun people who do that...

  42. D.... 6....

    Blurred lines is the original song

  43. J.... P....

    Friend: I have less cups than you




    Me:

  44. J.... F....

    So being a grammar Nazi is OK now?

  45. G.... P....

    50% whut is garmmer.
    50% I know how to speak proper English.

  46. D.... C....

    Why much word when few word do trick?

  47. l.... a....

    Webster's cannot even properly define "irony". Plus that Alanis Morrsette song "Isn't it ironic" does not contain one single accurate example of irony. The song should be renamed "isn't it unfortunate".
    Point is, not easy to convey the actual meaning of that word.
    Try it!

  48. K.... ....

    The one thing I disagree with in this song is the hate for the Oxford comma. Using it consistently can avoid ambiguity.

  49. F.... M....

    Yo mambo dogface to the banana patch. Oh, and WHY do we drive on parkways, and park on driveways? The language makes little sense to start with, and then there are all these arbitrary rules it takes a 4 year college degree for most people to even get a hint of how to 'write properly.' By the way, the majority -- close to two thirds-- of Americans DO NOT to this day have a college degree.

  50. G.... M....

    I like cooking my pets and my family.

    I like cooking, my pets, and my family.

    Commas save lives.

    G.... M....

    i only like the first two of those

  51. M.... S....

    Every Literacy Teacher to the idiot of the class: This Song

  52. N.... ....

    Dis song is 2 kewl for skool!

  53. E.... R....

    My English teacher played this on the first day of school last year!

  54. S.... ....

    I think I lernd al ot from tis sogn

  55. L.... ....

    1 h4ve 4 5tr0n6 feel1n6 th4t Chr15 15 the re450n he m4de the 50ng

  56. T.... ....

    #learnGrammarIdiot

  57. E.... S....

    Is no one going to point out that he used ya, which is not a word.

  58. T.... g....

    The 8.7K dislikes on this video are from people with bad grammar.

  59. D.... I....

    I JUST C0M1TT3D A W0RD CR1M3!

  60. C.... s....

    This actually a great song.

    C.... s....

    This is actually a great song.

  61. i.... ....

    "Try your best not (to drool)" Good job with that infinitive there :D

  62. M.... ....

    The "I could care less" thing made me go insane. Now I realize it's just dumb people.

  63. F.... S....

    This teaches us better grammar than our English teacher

  64. C.... H....

    weird al doesnt know what hyperbole is

  65. T.... E....

    Waw alyank u ar amazin' i wish i wos gr8te at grammor.




    (This is a joke.)

  66. G.... W....

    I'm not a fan of your politics but you are SPOT-On here, Al.

  67. D.... M....

    0:52 I luv dat parT

  68. A.... C....

    2:42 Alanis Morissette needs to hear this lol

  69. y.... i....

    the smart kids after reading the other kids essays in class:

  70. O.... ....

    There They’re Their
    Whale Wail
    Why yo While
    Psycho Cycle
    Bay yo Bail
    Boy yo Boil
    Say yo Sale Sail
    May yo Mayo Mail Male
    Me yo Meal
    Herd Heard
    Here Hear
    Hare Hair
    Bear Bare
    Wear Ware
    Brake Break
    Loose Lose
    Race Raise

  71. C.... K....

    Guards dens

  72. e.... ....

    When you know another language with harder grammar than english, it becomes easy.

  73. l.... a....

    I am noticing that the grammar in this comment section is much better than usual.

  74. R.... J....

    That was rather brilliant. I would love to hear your thoughts on my book. "Memoirs of a Time Traveling Idiot"
    Please find me.
    much love,
    RJM

  75. W.... H....

    School house rock.

  76. J.... S....

    This song only gets more relevant as the years go by... 😢

    J.... S....

    That is truly sad.

  77. J.... A....

    When everything is relative there is no such thing as a word crime.

  78. A.... s....

    Actually, the oxford comma, is absolutely neccisery! Emogies, italix, and boldface are usefull for simular reasons.
    ...
    I use bold for emphisis. If I can't use boldface, I will use astrix around, or al caps on, the word I want to stress.
    ...
    I use italix to streach out a word, and say it slowly.
    ...
    Quotes I only use for direct quotes, and I will use "..." at the begining and end if it's out of context, and apostraphys if it's a quote within a quote.

    A.... s....

    ugh, you have just literally made my eyes bleed >_< :D

  79. O.... ....

    #wordcrimes

  80. C.... Y....

    But honestly
    I could care less

  81. s.... ....

    The Facebook theme song.

  82. S.... K....

    But Y shud Iee Doo dis useles sheet?
    Dis is dum dum

  83. t.... a....

    When somebody makes a grammar mistake and you point it out but you spell grammar as grammer...

  84. S.... ....

    what is the original song called ?

  85. T.... J....

    1:15
    Trans Rights

  86. s.... r....

    More educational entertainment please!

  87. k.... j....

    My 4th grade sings this ALLLLL the time

  88. m.... s....

    well i have a get out of jail free card!
    SORRY FOR BAD ENGLISH IM NOT A NATIVE ENGLISH SPEAKER


    TRY TO GET TROUGH THAT GRAMMAR NAZI'S

  89. A.... ....

    I came here in Misory 4 not makeing it into the spelling be 😞

    A.... ....

    Damnit, I just found out the joke!

  90. A.... K....

    I love the song but it strangely reminds me of that bizarre vine where the woman speaks with a perfect accent but with a terribly broken English. Is there anyone here who knows it? :)

  91. B.... t....

    Who tf be givin a shit about grammar on reddit

  92. H.... ....

    I hate it when people misuse the word "literally." People use it because it sounds fancy, and putting it in a sentence would make them sound smarter. It doesn't. Maybe try to use fancier and uncommon words, instead of masking your simple vocabulary with "literally."

    H.... ....

    I mostly hate when people pronounce literally wrong. Like “lituretleey” or “literly”

  93. M.... A....

    Shoutout to the Simpsons at 0:27, as the teacher's name was Mrs. Krabappel.

  94. K.... D....

    Это ж ахуенно

  95. E.... L....

    I'm going to show this video to my English teacher! Thanks Mr.Yankovic

  96. J.... W....

    Every English Teacher in America: "It's impossible to get kids to care about grammar."


    Weird Al: "Hold my beer."

  97. C.... ....

    Dude this song is n actual bop like if you don’t like it I could care less