Weird Al Yankovic - Word Crimes Lyrics



Everybody shut up
Everyone listen up!

If you can't write in the proper way
If you don't know how to conjugate
Maybe you flunked that class
And maybe now you find
That people mock you on-line
(Everybody wise up!)

Okay, now here's the deal
I'll try to educate ya
Gonna familiarize
You with the nomenclature
You'll learn the definitions
Of nouns and prepositions
Literacy's your mission

And that's why I think it's a good time
To learn some grammar (What!?)
Now, did I stammer?
Work on that grammar
You should know when
It's "less" or it's "fewer"
Like people who were
Never raised in a sewer

I hate these word crimes
Like "I could care less"
That means you do care
At least a little
Don't be a moron
You'd better slow down
And use the right pronoun
Show the world you're no clown
Everybody wise up!

Say you got an "it"
Followed by apostrophe, "s"
Now what does that mean?
You would not use "it's" in this case
As a possessive (no no no)
It's a contraction (yeah yeah yeah)
What's a contraction?
Well, it's a shortening of a word, or a group of words by omission of a sound or letter

Okay, now here's some notes
Syntax you're always mangling
No "x" in "espresso"
Your participle's danglin'
But I don't want your drama
If you really wanna
Leave out that Oxford comma

Just keep in mind that "be", "see", "are", "you"
Are words, not letters
Get it together
Use your spell-checker
You should never
Write words using numbers
Unless you're seven
Or your name is Prince
Everybody wise up!

I hate these word crimes (I hate them crimes)
You really need a (I hate them crimes)
Full-time proofreader (I mean those crimes)
You dumb mouth-breather
Well, you should hire
Some cunning linguist
To help you distinguish
What is proper English
Everybody wise up!

One thing I ask of you
Time to learn your homophones is past due
Learn to diagram a sentence too
Always say "to whom"
Don't ever say "to who"
And listen up when I tell you this
I hope you never use quotation marks for emphasis
You finished second grade
I hope you can tell
If you're doing good or doing well
Everybody wise up!
You'd better figure out the difference
Irony is not coincidence
And I thought that you'd gotten it through your skull
What's figurative and what's literal
Oh but just now you said
You literally couldn't get out of bed (What!?)
That really makes me want to literally
Smack a crowbar upside your stupid head
Everybody wise up!

I read your e-mail
It's quite apparent
Your grammar's errant
You're incoherent
Saw your blog post
It's really fantastic
That was sarcastic (Oh, psych!)
'Cause you write like a spastic

I hate these word crimes
Everybody wise up!
Your prose is dopey
Think you should only
Write in emoji
Oh, you're a lost 'cause
Go back to pre-school
Get out of the gene pool
Try your best to not drool

Never mind I give up
Really now I give up
Go away!




Other Lyrics by Artist

Rand Lyrics


Weird Al Yankovic Word Crimes Comments
  1. That one funny tall guy

    hey im not bad at english youre

  2. Tha Plug

    How tf have I missed this for 5 years???

  3. P Sanchez

    Weird Al.... YOU ROCK!!!! Much much better than the original

  4. Xavier Mackaravitz

    My teacher would say stuff like that

  5. Danny Meauxmiss

    Let's eat Grandma!
    Let's eat, Grandma!

    Which one is the one that Grandma lives?

  6. Pixel Bytes

    “leave out that oxford comma”
    *bruh*

  7. MidnightHacker

    My 7th grade English teacher showed this to us within the first month of school. I completely forgot this song existed until tonight when it got recommended to me. If you’re out there Mr. Peterson, thank you lol

  8. snorf

    i thought this would be about free speech but this is better

  9. I am not your sexy Nørwegiæn

    ℹ️|⛔♥️|➕➕|📗✍️|📗👮‍♀️`➕➕|

  10. Hunter Jones

    Where’s the double negative such as “ain’t no”?

  11. Allie Shepard

    I love this song and I think some people actually learn some information which is really sad

  12. Constantin

    This really helped ty i got A from my english test

  13. G&MM

    I once heard a really dirty joke about a cunning linguist........

  14. MT Max

    This is prob the most creative thing I've seen in a while. Keep it up.

  15. That one dude

    It's really fantastic!

    I was sarcastic.(ah sike)

  16. Antoine Le Raton Laveur

    The english language is so difficulte !

    French: hold my dictionnary.

    Derpus The Dino

    Antoine Le Raton Laveur you spelt difficult incorrectly

  17. the Evandra Valencio Great Britain

    Every dog has it's day XD

  18. KFCHero1

    remeber thia?

  19. wf.

    ngl the music video is pretty fucking lit

  20. Trent Lindsey

    1:29 is SO ANNOYING with people, they always think the apostrophe is correct..

  21. yeet haw

    Anyone else see clippy

  22. T Time

    Big dic...tionary

  23. Steve The Rapper

    Robin Thicke, Pharrell Williams, and T.I. made a parody of this and it’s worse.

    Lemmon Boy

    Steve The Rapper
    Please tell me what it is
    Pretty please

    Steve The Rapper

    Lemmon Boy blurred lines

    matrixphijr

    @Lemmon Boy It was a joke that the original is actually the parody because this song is good and the original is terrible. I know it's hard to follow all that, but stay with me.

    Jillian W

    @matrixphijr dude i think they got the joke

  24. Mine1204

    7hats' an gud vid. 1 r3aly c wut ur vid30 was triing 2 convei

  25. Hutch2Much

    i’m gonna use the Oxford comma, not sorry

    matrixphijr

    Sorry not sorry.

  26. Black Adam

    Noice vidio lol

    Sam HRyon

    Black Adam genios

  27. kiyomi onuma

    My brothers or cousin is going to the festival.

  28. anny kurniawati

    I am gonna do word crime
    "yest3dai i go to a pahk"
    "yesterday i went to a park"

  29. Mr. ENGlishJELLo

    Musical threesome: Robin Thicke ripped off Marvin Gaye and Weird Al ripped off Robin Thicke!

  30. Samantha Winters

    I can't not hear cheese now from mlp....

  31. Drew ARCP

    Theme song for English class

  32. Dana Coleman

    Deer all thanx so mutch four thiss song. It literally kilz me to here it when I here it

  33. trash meemz

    Please rise to the grammar Nazi anthem

  34. Ajairy

    Ladies and Gentlemen, let us rise for the national anthem of all grammarnazis.

  35. SpicyRay

    I love how some americans don't know basic rules of english even though a European teenager from an ex-soviet nation can speak fluently (not trying to say **cough** any-- **cough**)

    SpicyRay

    @Lucas Ah yes...

  36. MaverixXXV

    I came from Wikipedia about Doge

  37. Madzod007

    if english teachers arent showing this in high school classes, this video is being wasted

  38. SuperBurrito 563

    0k w3ird AL i undorstand

  39. Omar Dajani

    thansk f0r teaing me grenar, and its expreso

  40. one of a kid

    This song was good until every English teacher decided to play it in class.

  41. Dane Jakubowski

    Best. Song. Ever...... it's "ironic" he didn't menshun people who do that...

  42. Datboi 665

    Blurred lines is the original song

  43. J Page

    Friend: I have less cups than you




    Me:

  44. Jen Fester

    So being a grammar Nazi is OK now?

  45. Grammar Proofreader

    50% whut is garmmer.
    50% I know how to speak proper English.

  46. Dubba Chin

    Why much word when few word do trick?

  47. like,share and subscribe

    Webster's cannot even properly define "irony". Plus that Alanis Morrsette song "Isn't it ironic" does not contain one single accurate example of irony. The song should be renamed "isn't it unfortunate".
    Point is, not easy to convey the actual meaning of that word.
    Try it!

  48. Kromaatikse

    The one thing I disagree with in this song is the hate for the Oxford comma. Using it consistently can avoid ambiguity.

  49. Fixit Mann

    Yo mambo dogface to the banana patch. Oh, and WHY do we drive on parkways, and park on driveways? The language makes little sense to start with, and then there are all these arbitrary rules it takes a 4 year college degree for most people to even get a hint of how to 'write properly.' By the way, the majority -- close to two thirds-- of Americans DO NOT to this day have a college degree.

  50. Garrett McCormick

    I like cooking my pets and my family.

    I like cooking, my pets, and my family.

    Commas save lives.

    Jillian W

    i only like the first two of those

  51. Mission: Studios

    Every Literacy Teacher to the idiot of the class: This Song

  52. NOISEMAZE

    Dis song is 2 kewl for skool!

  53. Emmy Rabalais

    My English teacher played this on the first day of school last year!

  54. SaltyOnions

    I think I lernd al ot from tis sogn

  55. LoliLover69420

    1 h4ve 4 5tr0n6 feel1n6 th4t Chr15 15 the re450n he m4de the 50ng

  56. Thebigbad

    #learnGrammarIdiot

  57. Ed Soundhead

    Is no one going to point out that he used ya, which is not a word.

  58. The gaming Guys

    The 8.7K dislikes on this video are from people with bad grammar.

  59. Dumb Idiot

    I JUST C0M1TT3D A W0RD CR1M3!

  60. Cursed spinel

    This actually a great song.

    Ridgely

    This is actually a great song.

  61. indigophox

    "Try your best not (to drool)" Good job with that infinitive there :D

  62. Michael

    The "I could care less" thing made me go insane. Now I realize it's just dumb people.

  63. Fergie Scherzinger

    This teaches us better grammar than our English teacher

  64. CEO Hannah Bannanah

    weird al doesnt know what hyperbole is

  65. The Enclave

    Waw alyank u ar amazin' i wish i wos gr8te at grammor.




    (This is a joke.)

  66. George Ward

    I'm not a fan of your politics but you are SPOT-On here, Al.

  67. Doge Meme-R 2000

    0:52 I luv dat parT

  68. Alex Caballero

    2:42 Alanis Morissette needs to hear this lol

  69. yea, its a world

    the smart kids after reading the other kids essays in class:

  70. OrbitOnceAround

    There They’re Their
    Whale Wail
    Why yo While
    Psycho Cycle
    Bay yo Bail
    Boy yo Boil
    Say yo Sale Sail
    May yo Mayo Mail Male
    Me yo Meal
    Herd Heard
    Here Hear
    Hare Hair
    Bear Bare
    Wear Ware
    Brake Break
    Loose Lose
    Race Raise

  71. Charles Keefer

    Guards dens

  72. elides1

    When you know another language with harder grammar than english, it becomes easy.

  73. like,share and subscribe

    I am noticing that the grammar in this comment section is much better than usual.

  74. Robert J. Morris

    That was rather brilliant. I would love to hear your thoughts on my book. "Memoirs of a Time Traveling Idiot"
    Please find me.
    much love,
    RJM

  75. Wilson Higgbury

    School house rock.

  76. J. S.

    This song only gets more relevant as the years go by... 😢

  77. Jo Ann Smith

    When everything is relative there is no such thing as a word crime.

  78. Ag silver Radio

    Actually, the oxford comma, is absolutely neccisery! Emogies, italix, and boldface are usefull for simular reasons.
    ...
    I use bold for emphisis. If I can't use boldface, I will use astrix around, or al caps on, the word I want to stress.
    ...
    I use italix to streach out a word, and say it slowly.
    ...
    Quotes I only use for direct quotes, and I will use "..." at the begining and end if it's out of context, and apostraphys if it's a quote within a quote.

    Uladzimir Darożka

    ugh, you have just literally made my eyes bleed >_< :D

  79. Offiously

    #wordcrimes

  80. Captain YouTube!

    But honestly
    I could care less

  81. skigh45

    The Facebook theme song.

  82. Sanuka Kithnula

    But Y shud Iee Doo dis useles sheet?
    Dis is dum dum

  83. the_ account

    When somebody makes a grammar mistake and you point it out but you spell grammar as grammer...

  84. Sum3a_ish

    what is the original song called ?

  85. Tom Jackal

    1:15
    Trans Rights

  86. steven romero

    More educational entertainment please!

  87. koralinevsfun jones

    My 4th grade sings this ALLLLL the time

  88. mats smaling

    well i have a get out of jail free card!
    SORRY FOR BAD ENGLISH IM NOT A NATIVE ENGLISH SPEAKER


    TRY TO GET TROUGH THAT GRAMMAR NAZI'S

  89. Advantageous

    I came here in Misory 4 not makeing it into the spelling be 😞

    The Grumpiest

    Damnit, I just found out the joke!

  90. Aslan Kaplan

    I love the song but it strangely reminds me of that bizarre vine where the woman speaks with a perfect accent but with a terribly broken English. Is there anyone here who knows it? :)

  91. Bendy the Little Devil Darlin

    Who tf be givin a shit about grammar on reddit

  92. Historia-sama

    I hate it when people misuse the word "literally." People use it because it sounds fancy, and putting it in a sentence would make them sound smarter. It doesn't. Maybe try to use fancier and uncommon words, instead of masking your simple vocabulary with "literally."

    Grammar Proofreader

    I mostly hate when people pronounce literally wrong. Like “lituretleey” or “literly”

  93. Michelle Adams

    Shoutout to the Simpsons at 0:27, as the teacher's name was Mrs. Krabappel.

  94. Kolya Doloxov

    Это ж ахуенно

  95. Ethan Liang

    I'm going to show this video to my English teacher! Thanks Mr.Yankovic

  96. James&Renee Wirtz

    Every English Teacher in America: "It's impossible to get kids to care about grammar."


    Weird Al: "Hold my beer."

  97. CST_CrazyFace

    Dude this song is n actual bop like if you don’t like it I could care less