Weird Al Yankovic - Mission Statement Lyrics



[Verse 1:]
We must all efficiently
Operationalize our strategies
Invest in world-class technology
And leverage our core competencies
In order to holistically administrate
Exceptional synergy
We'll set a brand trajectory
Using management's philosophy
Advance our market share vis-à-vis
Our proven methodology
With strong commitment to quality
Effectively enhancing corporate synergy
Transitioning our company
By awareness of functionality
Promoting viability
Providing our supply chain with diversity (versity, ooooh)
We will distill our identity
Through client-centric solutions and synergy (oooooh oooh oooh)
(ahhhhhh)

[Bridge:]
At the end of the day (at the end of the day)
We must monetize our assets
The fundamentals of change
Can you visualize a value-added experience?
That will grow the business infrastructure and
Monetize our assets
Monetize our assets
Monetize our assets

[Verse 2:]
Bringing to the table
Our capitalized reputation
Proactively overseeing
Day-to-day operations
Services and deliverables
With cross-platform innovation
Networking
Soon will bring
Seamless integration
Robust and scalable, bleeding-edge and next-generation
Best of breed
We'll succeed
In achieving globalization

[Outro:]
And gaining traction with our resources in the marketplace
It's mission-critical to stay incentivized
Our business plan will foster flexible solutions for our customer base
If you can't think outside the box
You'll be downsized
It's a paradigm shift!
Hey, hey! Look out!
Well, it's a paradigm shift, now!
Here we go! Here we go! Here we come! Here we come! Ha!




Other Lyrics by Artist

Rand Lyrics


Weird Al Yankovic Mission Statement Comments
  1. Lippy Pongstockings

    We must all efficiently
    Operationalize our strategies
    Invest in world-class technology
    And leverage our core competencies
    In order to holistically administrate
    Exceptional synergy
    We'll set a brand trajectory
    Using management's philosophy
    Advance our market share vis-à-vis
    Our proven methodology
    With strong commitment to quality
    Effectively enhancing corporate synergy
    Transitioning our company
    By awareness of functionality
    Promoting viability
    Providing our supply chain with diversity (-versity, ooooh)
    We will distill our identity
    Through client-centric solutions
    And synergy
    At the end of the day (At the end of the day)
    We must monetise our assets
    The fundamentals have changed
    Can you visualise a value-added experience?
    That will grow the business infrastructure and
    Monetise our assets
    Monetise our assets
    Monetise our assets

    Bringing to the table
    Our capitalised reputation
    Proactively overseeing
    Day-to-day operations
    Services and deliverables
    With cross-platform innovation
    Networking soon will bring seamless integration
    Robust and scalable, bleeding-edge and next-generation
    Best of breed,
    We'll succeed
    In achieving globalisation
    3:44
    Gaining traction with our resources in the marketplace
    It's mission-critical to stay incentivised
    Our business plan will foster flexible solutions for our customer base
    If you can't think outside the box
    You'll be downsized
    It's a paradigm shift! (Hey, Hey! Look out!)
    Well, it's a paradigm shift, now!
    Here we go!

  2. Lippy Pongstockings

    “This is a sublime and inspired work of art” - Lippy Pongstockings

  3. Marty Schrader

    Some of my clients pay me to attend (read, "sleep through") meetings where corporate dweebs actually say stuff like this. It's phunny -- for as long as I can keep my eyes open.

  4. archelonprime

    And here we are in 2020, where this music video is STILL relevant! I wish I could like this more than once!

  5. Myles McArthur

    Everything here could just be condensed into one word, profit.

  6. Gideon Waxfarb

    Whoever gave this fictional presentation is probably selling sugar water :P

  7. profnasty

    Al is definitely NOT on drugs.

    TheDestroyer TK

    If he did hed be normal

  8. Brian Swinford

    I'm surprised you didnt have to give Stephen Stills a writing credit, since it sampled Carry On and Suite: Judy Blue Eyes. :-)

  9. N Rizk

    The only update to this song I would make is replace synergy with cloud computing

  10. Scott Courtney

    Exactly like every mission statement ever written, except for two things:
    1. The music and graphic arts show a level of creativity that is, to put it mildly, not encouraged in large corporations.
    2. Unlike the average executive at a multinational corporation, Weird Al knows he's spewing BS and doesn't actually believe everyone else is buying into it.

  11. mokano7

    But will there be any further redundancies? And how can we optimise our efficiencies to integrate at the solutions level?

  12. malcolm clark

    Except for the Disney Globalization part,,, at 3:46, I'd say " Big Blue Marbelization ", even though society don't know were stuck on a 3 point navigation system, and still don't know how to shoot an azimuth yet. The truth is " Frisbeeisation ".....TULSI 2020.

  13. Tensile Strength

    I exchange my hours for dollars at a company that uses the word "ask" as a noun.

  14. SuperDevolution

    Now do one on postmodernism.

  15. Vitasta Raina

    When this song came out, I was working in the Corporate sector, and sent this song out in the email with a morning motivational quote. Sadly, none of the people in the mail list responded. Not even a :-)...total waste I tell you

  16. Keith Pixton

    One of my favorite Weird Al songs because Carry On was until recently my favorite CSN song (it is now Deja Vu).

  17. Kurtis Deakin

    love the lil bass runs in this

  18. Leonb07

    Now that I'm my final year of my MHA this song has my dying of laughter when I decided to send it to my professor. Also this comment section is gold.

  19. Ken Brownstone

    We are at the end of the video folks..Pay attention to the plane going into the buildings. That is no peace sign the business man is holding up.Thats V for victory . Shows you they are watching all of us , they get world domination ,into transgender champ, also robots take over the world. They have used us through business college to help them take over the world. Now we just need their leader to step onto the stage ..666...🤘🤘✌️✌️🖖🖖👌👌👌🦿🦾🤖🐲🐲🐉🐉🙈🙉🙊🐆🐆🐆

  20. kevnar

    EA's theme song!

  21. Andrew Roberts

    I am sure someone has posted this, but here anyway. I'm glad it's still up. Pity I can't say the same about the "Text to Hellen Keller Speech converter". Yes, I'm going to hell. And I deserve to!

    https://www.dack.com/web/bullshit.html

  22. Scott Schafer

    This is most underrated thing in existence. 895 people can suck it.

  23. angus jones

    song: *is about secrets*
    also song: *has a secret*

    angus jones

    the secret is that it's about long synergigetic words that ultimately, have no scientific or philosophical meaning

  24. Jarod Carnarvon

    I can definitely hear the late 60s Crosby, Stills, & Nash in this tune.....

  25. Liquidwater27

    I swear I'm not stupid, in just unable to fully understand a weird al parody music video.

    Zoey M

    Don't worry, based on the number views, most of America is unable to understand the genius that is Weird Al.
    He actually is a genius. He graduated as the valedictorian and went to college when he was only 16, and got his degree in architecture.

  26. IaeyanElyuex

    I would like to know the origin / inspiration for this. This is hilarious.

    Zoey M

    Al's is actually a genius. He graduated as valedictorian and went to college and got his degree in architecture when he was only 16.
    Only a genius could take the anti establishment, peace and love movement group, CS&N and write a masterpiece based on their style and satirize it with the bullshit of Corporate America.

    trigonzobob

    Yeah, me too. I work in a big corporation and hear this jargon all the time but where does Al hear this?

    Zoey M

    @trigonzobob Al is the boss of his business and has had to deal with corporations to produce his music.
    I imagine he's had to sit through hours of this nonsense throughout his career.

  27. Bio-error 1d10t: User unable to create name.

    I've got a good one!
    Wait for it...
    Hang on, I forgot it...
    Wait, I got it again, hang on a sec...
    Get a load of this original idea: *SYNERGY!*

  28. daemon

    "If something isn't immediately providing value or enabling something else that provides value, then get rid of it"

    (Bob and Bob, meet TPS reports)

  29. Ra226 Gaming

    You're hired.

  30. Fairest Moss

    So many buzzwords @[email protected]
    I realize the value of these kinds of things to business owners, but.... I'm really hoping I break the mold when I get into business on this one. At this point I think most people are probably familiar with this tactic and I would expect it to be met with groans and negative expectations instead of actually motivating or interesting employees like it's supposed to. I get that the media still falls for this crap, so no doubt people on a more personal level would too, but... I guess I'll see. I'd rather try and find a better way to handle things than just going with the norm, this kind of reliance on buzzwords just screams shady and untrustworthy to me.

  31. Denile Riverafter

    Crosby, Stills, & AL? Why am I seeing alligator lizards in the air?!!

  32. GRasputin91

    Instead of attending ridiculously long and boring meetings companies should just play this song instead

  33. Thomas Smith

    Welcome to the world of paranoia. Fun is mandatory, not fun is forbidden.

  34. Wes Prang

    Every word in every Mission Statement I've ever read is inside the box. This box: ⚰

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  36. SeaJay Oceans

    In simpler Terms:
    Work Smarter.
    Together you accomplish more.
    Team Work makes the Dream Work.
    Improve Marketing to increase Sales.
    Sell Good Quality Stuff, not junk.
    Work Better at everything you do.
    Build up the Brand by Solving customer needs.

    Guitar Solo - colorful stuff . . . :-) Peace!

    At the end of the day: We Do the Job. And then, WE GET PAID.
    Market Good Will sells more products, because people LOVE your products /services.

    Use Technology to GROW the company, using best practices to TAKE OVER THE WORLD $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$.

    Pay people well so they do more work. Consequences if they don't.

    Keep customers happy. Growing your customer base increases repeat business.
    ...or, your gone. sorry.

    Paradigm Shift:

    Overall the vicious nature of modern business is PRAISE based advancement.

    'Liked', Loved, popularity contest...drives sales. It is what drives youtube advertisement revenue.
    A few bad reviews, and you can't sell that product any more.
    Get lots of great word of mouth and social media reviews, and sales Jump ! :-) #$


    Moral of the Story: Take Good Care of your customers. Because if you don't , Someone Else Will !!!

  37. Potato

    basically 90% of my company mission statement

  38. Mr Cat

    “Corporate BS” the song

  39. Ian Cole

    Whenever I hear the word synergy I think of this song

  40. Teufelaffe

    I'm going to get 2:46 as a tattoo.

  41. Drew Wischer

    Of all the comments I've seen, nobody has made the comparison to David McWilliams, "Punk Economics." Brilliant parody, brilliant.

  42. RegiRuler

    Is this DevOps-compliant?

  43. Dean Smith

    Brilliant!!! I love this as a parody and maybe we can also suggest this as a starting point for anyone who has to write a mission statement. Furthermore, the artist is a genius!

  44. Edward st.antoine

    wow my man is the king of libtard morons ;)

    Sophie T

    Really? You have to bring your political catch words to a Weird Al video?
    Give it a rest, buddy, your obsession with Trump is spilling into inappropiate areas of your life.

  45. NebulizerChi

    It's my fervent hope that someday I'll recite this, in order and in its entirety, over the course of a job interview --and fifty bucks says I end up landing the gig...

  46. Bryan Moss

    Wow. This video was the exact opposite of: "Dare to be Stupid"! lol

  47. Ben Lawver

    It's funny because at my job they show us motivational videos like this with a guy constantly animating it just like this, hand included

  48. Buxees Singh

    Hands down, the best use of the Successories catalogue ever.

  49. superkeegan9100

    Disney in a nutshell (especially the "synergy" parts).

  50. SoundCzech

    American psycho. The song

  51. Sophie T

    Wow...how far we've fallen.
    The great god of money has brought us to the brink.

  52. Rocknelson4

    The lyrics and visuals are amazing but we don't talk enough about how this is basically a perfect recreation of a America style song. It's amazing

  53. Max Picatti

    AND SYNERGYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
    lol

  54. SeaJay Oceans

    This is actually all great advice... Completely rational... Better Teamwork, Increased Sales, Improved Profits ! :-) YAY ! :-D

  55. Reed Mack

    The song of money hippies

  56. Clobberg

    at 3:07 .. is that a drone? A shot at the military industrial complex?

  57. Welsh Weirdo

    It's draw my life before draw my life.

  58. 「DOOTMan ゴゴ」

    1:46 When you're playing The Binding of Isaac

  59. Thomas Maresh

    Brilliant! (As always) I'm surprised it took so long for "Paradigm Shift" to show up. He missed "Think outside the Box", though.

    One thing I've learned over the years - as soon as you hear these words coming out of management during a mandatory company-wide presentation - update & send out your resume and start preparing to make your exit. It means they don't know what they're doing and they are about to start taking it out on the employees that actually get stuff done.

    Sophie T

    I think you've missed some of Al's lyrics, time for you to listen again.

    Thomas Maresh

    @Sophie T I did, before I posted. If you heard it, point me to a time index.

  60. just due it

    cornflower blue

  61. P.O. Peterson

    Lame Claim to Fame: I do my Ys the same as Weird Al

  62. SculptyWorks

    This song gives me PTSD from when I worked with corporate stuff! 😨

  63. Flat Enough

    You're hired

  64. jammbuckdanny

    I guess Weird Al knows well CSN and Jimi.

  65. Catharsis

    879 Pointy-haired Bosses have disliked this. Darn them all to heck.

  66. Jerome Wright

    Did you get three quotes before you made this video? Did you clear this with HR? I think the management team's going to need to shut this down. Get back to work.

  67. nobonux

    Not enough acronyms.

  68. AIO inc.

    We only have the budget to use oxygen for 3/4 of the trip to Mars. Breath smarter, not harder.

    Wes Prang

    Sounds like one of my first jobs. I was "promoted" from the night shift to the day shift, and told to keep up by working smarter.

    The difference between shifts was a measly 290 customers.

    AIO inc.

    @Wes Prang This quote came from a Dilbert strip.

    Your pfp is Dilbert mate

  69. Dan Harmon

    BRILLIANT!!

  70. mediocre ice rink parodies

    Synergy

  71. jrs89

    This is what it feels like to prepare an IT budget. You want to know how much it costs, but the vendor wants a word salad whiteboarding video.

  72. Jimmy

    My sister monetized her assets and my dad disowned her

  73. ScootKompute

    WELL ITS A PARADIGM SHIFT, LOOK OUT!

  74. Charles Rolland

    Make more of that good money

  75. Left Is Best

    Michael Scott from The Office on vocals.... 😂😂😂

  76. Paranormal News Today

    HR Interviewer: So, what are your qualifications?
    Me: I know Wierd Al's 'Mission Statement' by heart.
    HR Interviewer: Welcome to upper management!

  77. Bridgette Stonestreet

    Like every time I go on a mkt website this is all you see.... I know the lingo, I have a grads. Just tell me what you actually do

  78. Sefie Ezephiel

    From the current Gamestop earnings call

    "address the challenges that have impacted our results, and execute both deliberately and with urgency. We believe we will transform the business and shape the strategy for the GameStop of the future. This will be driven by our go-forward leadership team that is now in place, a multi-year transformation effort underway, a commitment to focusing on the core elements of our business that are meaningful to our future, and a disciplined approach to capital allocation.”"


    yeah Weird Al totally nailed it

  79. farfromfields

    Thanks Weird Al for making me do some research and learning that CSNY had more songs than Teach Your Children and they f'n rip!

    Geoffrey Gentry

    Those first two albums in particular are really solid. Consistently great songs from start to finish.

  80. Hoshimaru57

    Just once I want to do this on an interview where I know there’s no way in hell I’ll get the job and I know they secretly only interviewed me to fill a quota. Just once I want to go all out and make an ass of myself on purpose rather than failing despite my best efforts.

  81. Zachary Wobensmith

    Honestly, the most perfect parody so far.

  82. John Hopkins

    My boss saw me watching this and thought I was working.

  83. Kyle Li

    Just listen to this in your sleep for a few days and you'll be a qualified management consultant in no time.

  84. Otokichi786

    Ah, corporate doubletalk worthy of Dilbert's (mis) Manager.;) (Or is this a memo from their round-headed, incompetent CEO?) What ho, do I hear the dulcet tones of the "Crispy Critters & Nosh"?

  85. liezel pangilinan

    hello new friend here done and waiting for your turn nice drawing cool

  86. Extys

    MBA graduates, please rise for our national anthem.

  87. MerchMan Dan

    Yeeaaaah, and if you can get it done by five? That would be greeeaaat. 😒☕

  88. James Carmody

    Sounds like the final will and testament of a closing company.

  89. Iain Duncan

    Best Weird Al ever. This keeps me from stabbing out my eyes while writing reports. And really a brilliant CSNY medley too.

  90. Paranormal News Today

    I dare any business person watching this to use this as a presentation.

    Blake Bodycote

    I always listen to this song before a business exam or assignment to inspire me with how to start writing lol

  91. Staycy Doolittle

    2018-19 story of EA/Blizzard and other gaming companies. So funny that I came across this now!

  92. MTN Man

    Good managers/employees drive a busines foward, not concepts, words and slides. Sadly, most corprations are so far removed from the customer, they drive thier business to benefit the corporation/shareholder before the customer/employee...

  93. MTW 245

    I've listened to those very words my entire career!! What a crock. Well done Mr. Yankovic. There is nothing weird about you.


    "In the insane society, the sane man must surely appear to be insane." -From the totally excellent movie Serial.

  94. Adrian Smith

    "...moving forward..." how many times can a robot head shoehorn that phrase into a conversation! Argg

  95. VINT 64

    Thumbs up for OreGairu

  96. jasony7

    mmm sent me

  97. Mr. Money Mustache

    I love you Al! Since I was a little kid. Amazing work as always.

  98. BigBadBiff

    “Syntegralize our operity with maxidationally florust perspention to our lineam nadrets.” —what I started hearing about halfway through the song.

  99. afkathisguy

    as a 15 year citizen of corporate america, the stark familiarity of this song was very, very depressing.