Weird Al Yankovic - Jackson Park Express Lyrics

[Verse 1:]
Tuesday morning, 8: 15
I was riding to work on the
Jackson Park Express
Seemed like any other day
Then my whole world changed
In a way I never could have guessed
Cause she walked in
Took the seat right across the aisle
I knew we had a special connection
The second I saw her smile

She smiled as if to say
"Hello, Haven't seen you on this bus before"
I gave her a look that said
"Huh, Life is funny, you never know what's in store
By the way, your hair is beautiful
I bet it smells like raisins"

She looked at me in a way that asked
"Did you have a nose job or something?
I'm only asking, cause your nose looks slightly better
Than the rest of your face"
I arched my eyebrow, ever so slightly
Which was my way of asking
"Do you want my old Hewlett-Packard printer?
It still works, Kinda
And I got a bunch of ink cartridges left"

Then, she let out a long sigh
Which, I took to mean, "Uh"
"Mama, What is that deodorant you're wearing?
It's intoxicating
Why don't we drive out to the country sometime?
And collect deer ticks in a zip-lock baggie", Oh yeah

I gave her a penetrating stare
Which could only mean
"You are my answer, my answer to everything
Which is why, I'll probably do very poorly
On the written part of my driver's test"

Yes, It all happened
On the Jackson Park Express
On the Jackson Park Express
On the Jackson Park Express
On the Jackson Park Express

[Verse 2:]
I knew she was starting to fall for me
Cause she crinkled her nose, which unmistakably meant
"Baby, let's wear each other's clothes
And speak in a thick German accent
And, maybe someday we can own and operate
Our own mobile pet-grooming service"
I couldn't hold back my feelings
I gave her a look, that said
"I would make any sacrifice for your love
Goat, chicken, whatever
I could never hold you close enough
Let's have our bodies surgically grafted together
Oh, surgically grafted together"

She picked up her newspaper, and started reading to herself
Which I'm sure, was a way of telling me
"When you're cold, I will warm you
When you're shivering, I will hold you
When your nauseous, I will give you Pepto-Bismol every hour
For as long as the symptoms persist"
Oh, I, I never, ever want to see you cry
So, please let me cauterize your tear ducts with an arc welder
Then, I glanced down, at her shirt, for a second
In a way that clearly implied
"I like your boobs"


[Verse 3:]
I cleared my throat quietly, and then, I looked away
And I'm sure it was obvious to her, just what I was trying to say
I was trying to say, "Hey
I'd like to make a wall-sized mural out of all the dead skin cells
That you slough off while you sleep at night"
Whoa-o-Oh, "I'd like to rip you wide open
And french-kiss every single one of your internal organs
Oh, I'd like to remove all your skin, and wear your skin, over my own skin
But not in a creepy way"

Then, I'm pretty sure, she looked at me, out of the corner of her good eye
And, though, she never spoke a word, this is exactly what I heard
She was saying, "Oh!
I wanna make out with you, in an abandoned toll-booth, in the middle of a monsoon
I wanna ride dolphins with you, in the moonlight
Until the staff at Sea World kicks us out
I want you inside me, oh, like a tapeworm"

I pointed to the side of my mouth, as a way of indicating
"Hey, I think you got something on the side of your mouth"
She licked the corner of her lips, as if to say
"Here? ", I nodded, implying, "Yeah, you got it"

And, then the bus stopped, at 53rd Street, and she got up suddenly
"Where are you going? ", pleaded my eyes, "Baby, don't you do this to me
Think of the beautiful children we could have someday
We could school them at home, Raise them up the right way
And protect them from the evils of the world
Like Trigonometry and Prime Numbers, oh no
Baby, please don't go"

She brushed my leg, as she left the bus
I'm sure that was her way of saying
"I'm sorry this just isn't working out
You're suffocating me
I need some space to find out what life's all about
So, goodbye forever, my love"

And deep inside, I knew she was right
It was time for us both to move on
And though, I never got her number, oh no no
She never bothered to leave her address, oh
But, as long as I live, I'll never forget
Those precious moments we shared together

On the Jackson Park Express
On the Jackson Park Express
On the Jackson Park Express
On the Jackson Park Express
On the Jackson Park Express
On the Jackson Park Express
On the Jackson Park Express
On the Jackson Park Express

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Weird Al Yankovic Jackson Park Express Comments
  1. Rob Halford

    reminds me of warren zevon

  2. Mighty Martin

    If looks could kill...

  3. Lenstar Productions

    the background singers are really what make this song for me

  4. JustConfused

    My moms boyfriend played this for me and oml. I thought it was normal and then it just got better and better

  5. Montesama314

    "I would make any sacrifice for your love!... Goat, chicken, whatever."

  6. Montesama314

    Best part is imagining all this in real time.

  7. Panda Ling

    This is what it feels like the teacher is saying in English class about every thing we read.

  8. JadeRabbit Futurist


    I love how the song keeps getting progressively worse and horrifying until it finally embodies the TRUE feeling of public transportation.

  9. handsomebrick

    Al is a lewd dude.

  10. Svenger Mc. Spazzy

    Al: Writes song about over-analyzing things.
    Also Al: "I LIKE YOUR BOOBS"

  11. Mo 2k

    Every guy has had these thoughts when riding the bus

    Isaiah Armstrong

    French kissing a girl’s internal organs?

    Fox D

    Every time I see an attractive woman on the bus or the light rail on my way to work in Seattle from the suburbs, this song pops into my head.

    Isaiah Armstrong

    Fox D that could get creepy


    @Isaiah Armstrong but not in a creepy way

  12. Avery R

    Weird al is a confirmed communist

  13. Brandon Li

    When you're nauseous I'll give you Pepto-Bismol for as long as the symptoms persist

  14. ELIJλH

    Cat Stevens. :)

  15. - Buehmann

    3:54 to 4:10 There needs to be a parody of I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That) based on this kind of thing.

  16. 9v9

    24 people don't take public transit

  17. Mrs. H

    70th Comment!!! I win!

  18. Benoit Chapman

    Please don’t respond to this

    Benoit Chapman

    The Last Word it worked

    CHW Thomas

    I"ll respond anyways

  19. Ixion Music

    A better love story than Twilight.


    YOU BASTARD i was gonna say that. well played

  20. Jason Call

    goat, chicken, whatever

  21. George Beckingham

    Jimmy Buffet's Love in the Library, urban-style!

    Battle Of Trenton

    James Blunt's "You're Beautiful" (which was already parodied) belongs to this trope as well.

  22. Justin Hall

    Great story.

  23. chindleymuffin

    Is this Weird Al's longest original song?

    Sam Loeffler

    chindleymuffin though it is long, it’s still 2 minutes short of his longest song ever; Albuquerque (which is an original song)

    Benoit Chapman

    Sam Loeffler actually, it’s a parody of “Dick’s Automotive”

    Paul Kornbluh

    @chindleymuffin: AFAIK, this is Weird Al's 3rd-longest song ever, behind "Albuquerque" (11:24) and "Trapped in the Drive Thru" (10:56).

  24. Ninja Phox in Lego

    I wonder if she feels the same way or has a different interpretation or just doesn’t care I mean onestly

  25. billythe 11thdimensionalhobo

  26. KnightIndustries1997

    You are my answer
    My answer to everything
    Which is why I'll probably do very poorly on the written part of my driver's test


    LOL best part for sure

  27. Bruce Wayne

    Underrated song. Beautiful tune and wonderfully ridiculous lyrics

  28. Abby Smith

    has anyone noticed they dont ever actually say anything to eachother

    Dillon Ohlemiller

    Abby Smith that’s the joke. He’s having an entire relationship with her in his mind

  29. Daniel Bathen

    This stupid song was stuck in my head for months. I want it stuck in there again. I love it so.


    Like a tapeworm

    David McGlynn

    I have a Jackson-brand wheelbarrow, and had this song stuck in my head the entire time we built our pool as a result.

  30. Keith Rumer

    This is not disturbing at all!

  31. NekoChanSenpai

    Best love story to take place entirely on mass transportation since Titanic.


    What about Alligators on a Train?

  32. Tory Slusher

    I'd like ta... Remove all your skin, and wear your skin... Over my own skin. WTF

    Scarlet Manuka

    But not in a creepy way!

  33. Victor diaz

    And wear your skin over my skin...
    Not in the creepy way

  34. Victor diaz

    Dang it al i had this idea for a song

  35. Fun With Failure

    Great song! You are so wise in the ways of love. lol

  36. D.J Circus Baby

    Lol xd im gay

  37. CreeperLolipop

    I love this song, I have the disc and I listen to it like almost everyday

  38. Hylian Xbox

    This might be my favorite weird al song

  39. Hammster69

    I like it! This has a very '70's feel to it. I can't help but think maybe Al was listening to piano-driven Cat Stevens (particularly FOREIGNER or IZITSO) when he wrote this. I'm talking about the music of course, not the wacky lyrics (well, unless you bought Steve's albums back in the day and wondered WTF does MONA BONE JAKON or CATCH BULL AT FOUR or BUDDHA AND THE CHOCOLATE BOX or IZITSO mean, but I digress).

    Edgar Carpenter

    Indeed, this song is a style-parody of Cat Stevens

    Drew Senko

    I love the feel of this song, so I guess I'll have to try listening to Cat Stevens. It also reminds me kinda of the storytelling of Dean Friedman.

    Drew Senko

    I donno, guys. I just spend the last hour or so listening to Cat Stevens (including Foreigner Suite which others say may have influenced this song) and I enjoyed it, but I really don't see the resemblance. I think Harry Chapin's "Taxi," as others have suggested, is closer to the mark.

  40. SorryMyPunsArentFunny

    The evils of the world, like trigonometry and prime numbers

  41. Tom's Vinyl Shack

    One of my favorite Weird Al songs

  42. Daniel E. Smith

    needs a RUSH parody

  43. howard baxter

    Really creepy this song.



  44. Joy Cowan

    I LOVE THIS SONG!!!!!!!!!!!

  45. Ed Margavage

    for some odd reason it reminds me of taxi by harry chapin


    +Ed Margavage I agree, but it's actually a style parody of Cat Stevens.

    Drew Senko

    I donno, guys. I just spend the last hour or so listening to Cat Stevens (including Foreigner Suite which others say may have influenced this song) and I enjoyed it, but I really don't see the resemblance. "Taxi" sounds a lot closer to the mark to me.


    @deb6156 Style parodies can be of more than one artist. "Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota" could be said to be both a Gordon Lightfoot and a Harry Chapin style parody. I'm a bit lukewarm on the Taxi comparisons myself, as the lyric repetition isn't really Chapin-like, but there's other things in this song which do have some similarities so I'd be comfortable including it as part of the style parody.

  46. andrew toale

    This is obviously the best song on the album, why does it have the smallest amount of likes and comments

    Brandon Li

    It's not the best (I personally like My Own Eyes) but it's second. It's pretty good.


    @Rhodorn I hope you were able to see his "Ill-Advised Vanity Tour". It was so much fun!

    Battle Of Trenton

    @Highland804 He performed this on the "Strings Attached" tour (which just finished) as well.


    Probably because you have to be paying attention to realize the song is funny, since a lot of Weird Al's songs are funny/great even when you don't pay attention to the lyrics.

  47. Preston Siegler

    ...they never actually talk to each other in this song...

    Eric Glock

    That's (one of) the point(s)!

  48. Stephen Mealing

    this is so creepy

    Timothy Young

    Stephen Mealing - its a parody.

    Caiha H.

    He clearly says "not in creepy way." Sheesh, some people.