Weird Al Yankovic - Handy Lyrics



[Verse 1:]
First things first, I'm a craftsman (craftsman)
Remodelling is my only passion (it's my passion)
And I'm the greatest in the business
Want referrals, yo
My clientèle will bear you witness (right, right)
I can help when your door jamb sticks (heh?)
There is nothing in the world I can't fix (yeah)
I do tiles, I do stone, I do bricks
Call me, I'll come rushing over with my bag of tricks (bag of tricks)
Where you go when your disposal is rusted (rusted)
Termite problem making you disgusted (yuck)
When your front window is busted (hey hey hey)
Just one name that's always trusted

[Chorus:]
I'm so handy, you already know
I'll fix your plumbing when your toilets over flow
I'm so handy, I'll bring you up to code
When your dishwasher's about to explode

[Verse 2:]
Now you see that your furnace is needing some service
I'm fully bonded, no need to be nervous
Perhaps you would like a new counter Formica
Maybe I'll hook up this here combo washer dryer
But all your pipes are antique
Your water pressure's too weak
You got an attic full of dry rot cause your roof sprung a leak
Your fridge is starting to reek
Your hardwood floors really squeak
But don't you worry I'll just show you my amazing technique
Now let me glue that, glue that and screw that, screw that
Any random chore you got, well I can do that, do that
Or maybe I'll just rewire your house for fun
I got 99 problems but a switch ain't one

[Chorus:]
I'm so handy, everyone said so
I'll grout your bathroom, resurface your patio
I'm so handy, I'm the guy to know
When your leaf blower doesn't blow-oh-oh-oh

[Bridge:]
Patch the drywall, clean your gutters and mow the lawn
Make that phone call, I'll install anything you want
Yeah, check my big staple gun, my socket wrenches are second to none
I won't quit 'til I'm done, don't even care if I hammer my thumb (OW!)

[Verse 3:]
Still rocking my screwdriver
Got the whole world thinking I'm MacGyver
Your heating bills are shocking
I can solve that with some duct tape and some caulking
Your house is a disaster, huh?
Need a guy whose a master with the plaster, huh?
Let me be your stripper
Taking off lacquer, no one does it quicker

[Chorus:]
I'm so handy, you already know
I'll beat all price quotes, my hourly rates are low
I'm so handy, you should call this pro
I'm in the phone book and se habla Español




Other Lyrics by Artist

Rand Lyrics


Weird Al Yankovic Handy Comments
  1. Bryan Bradley

    Love that he's dressed as Schneider from One Day At A Time.

  2. Theresa Stevens

    My sons

  3. Cereal Productions

    The only man rappers fear.

  4. Obsolete Technologies

    i have watched this a few times now and just realized, he repaired the leaf blower so well that it blew off his mustache.

  5. Scott Phelps

    You sir, are a genius. Thank you for DECADES of your work.

  6. Jar Mason

    Well.... That was Epic!

  7. Tom Foolery

    You know you’re getting old when you no longer know what song Weird Al is parodying.

  8. Y u bully Me

    Hulk Hogan mustache alert

  9. Matthew Whitney

    Is that Cheech and Dante from Clerks?

  10. whywouldyousaythat

    Eddie Pepitone!!!!!!

  11. McD Doherty

    Schneider

    McD Doherty

    One Day at a Time

  12. Presumptuous Pseudonym

    Honestly... I have no idea what song this is parodying... but im satisfied regardless.

    Y u bully Me

    Presumptuous Pseudonym fancy

  13. Christopher Bryant

    its as if a million dads just screamed out in glee

  14. Justin Carr

    this is so much better than iggys version

  15. C Holesterol

    I don't know why I got a notification on this video. I already sent Al an email telling him to Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me!

    Emmyers85

    This song isn't crap it's a masterpiece

  16. Epic group Games and stuff

    Nobody:
    Guava juice thumbnails: 1:01

  17. Brook Garretson

    Awesomeness

  18. Kevin Terlecky

    I enjoy Weird Al's songs just as much as the original Melodies and the most important thing I've learned is that there's no such thing as a parody of music when your intention to create something beautiful is sincere

  19. unstoppableExodia

    His hourly rates are so low even undocumented laborers from south of the border can't complete

  20. Dolphin chad

    The CEO of Home Depot displaying his immense power circa 2014

  21. Nicholaus Uhl

    First thing's first, I'm the drillest

  22. Honey Gilbert

    I love this video and song plus the original song.

  23. Aaron Mccord

    Me: *watches tv*





    COMMERCIALS:

  24. kopytek36

    Fuckin' Brilliant!! Iggy could learn some things from this rapper!

  25. GREENE DARK

    The parody has a better beat than the original

  26. BattleToads

    Am I the only one who got a craving for cheesecake after watching this?

    Daniel Lagaly

    BattleToads I did

  27. TheScaids

    "If they don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy."-Red Green

  28. Caleb Reeve

    This song is basically my life and I love it.

  29. Gustav Gnöttgen

    That bit set in velvet.

    Yes. I agree.

  30. jodiebug1

    This is awesome! I love this beat but not Iggy Azalea

  31. Marcus Games

    i think the bart baker parody was better

    Zoey M

    Baker is vulgar, autotuned, and greedy.
    Al is creative, talented and asks permission and pays every artist he parodies royalties.
    Comparing Al to Baker is like comparing fine crystal to a paper cup.

  32. serafina lim

    Does anyone else think that the man that was the customer was a bit dramatic?

  33. Matthew Benson

    BE GONE!!!!!!!!!!

  34. gerald seney

    this song makes me laugh its funny

  35. jackalantorn

    What is this a parody of

    Cory Kamermans

    Fancy by Iggy Izalea or however her name is spelled.

    jackalantorn

    Thank you @Cory Kamermans

  36. Brien Luck

    What is this a parody of?

  37. Brigante

    lemme glue dat glue dat, and screw dat screw dat

  38. matrixphijr

    I love how he always incorporates little details of the original song, like in this case, the "glue/screw/do dat, glue/screw/do dat" lines.

  39. kalmia kid

    my dad's theme song lmfao

  40. ModderMan8

    This man is lookin like Lazarbeam

  41. David Danser

    You can always rely on Weird Al Yankovic to make a great, funny song 👍😅

  42. For me it was Tuesday.

    I like this beat now.

  43. John Suderman

    Han Solo’s brother, 100%

  44. Maria-luz Cortes

    Omg "I got 99 problems but a switch ain't one" 😂🤣😂 I'm dying

  45. EyesOnBreen

    Al made this song almost tolerable.

  46. SuperMarioHTFCalab O.O

    They used green screen so many times.

  47. Max Meisenhelter

    voice crack 0:10

  48. Le Marin

    "Glue that! Glue that! Screw that! Screw that!"

  49. Jeremiah Kivi

    Feels like it should be an actual advertisement for a contractor

  50. theresa rhoguns

    This is not a parody. A parody is an imitation of the style of a particular writer, artist, or genre with deliberate exaggeration for comic effect. Other than the beat and the flow this could easily be any other song. Oops

  51. TheFutureSoupYT

    I’d let this guy fix anything of mine any day. *DONT TAKE IT THE WRONG WAY!*

  52. Warsame Adam

    still rock'n my screwdriver got the whole world thinking I'm Mcgyver

  53. ONI Section Zero

    Yo I think Iggy Azalea stole Al's song and made their own.

  54. MachineThatCreates

    Not his best work. Probably because the original wasn't much to write home about.

  55. Backyard Music Feedback

    Al has a great voice in all seriousness

  56. Antonis Giovanof

    sounds like Ruka Ruka Ali's braking bad parody

  57. me boring

    I think that he fixed the original song with this parody

  58. Raven Twilight

    If this was a commercial I'd hire him even if I didn't need anything lmao

  59. l337pwnage

    Well, if the women won't find you handsome, at least they'll find you handy.

  60. Caleb Stone

    1:52 :'D

  61. Maisie

    mmm, i don't think he could be a blonde

  62. Billy Bob

    That deserves a comment and a like

  63. BRUTUS

    You're Amazing!!

  64. Joshua White

    If I'm too Sexy isn't your theme then it should at least be this song.

  65. Howard Pearcey

    "If the women don't find you handsome they should find you handy." R. Green

    todd jensen

    Howard Pearcey damn right I can clear the drive and completely redo it in the same day

  66. MaGmA FireFlame games

    Alright what's the phone number

  67. Caleb Kane

    i`d hire wierd al

  68. Buck Dog

    The special effects can’t get much worse than this, and that’s a good thing. It looks like a real commercial for a handyman company.

  69. Teig 250

    I listen to you so much my mom is so sick of your music

    Zoey M

    Al's released 14 albums, have you listened to all of them?
    It might make your mom happier if you do.

  70. JJDBaca

    Weird Al Snider

  71. Steve Dyches

    Who else remembers Sneider from One Day at a Time?

  72. 12weasel100

    This would have made a great opening song/ video to Rob Vanwinkle Vanilla Ice's "The Vanilla Ice Project" Home Renovation show.

  73. Nathan Smith

    We are less than 3 weeks from 2020....
    I was just recommended this video.

  74. Adam Teeple

    Nice callback to Living in the Fridge

  75. Lil Drake

    Peep 2:08 where he actually hammers his thumb

  76. Adam Sobaszek

    I like that song the more i wach it

  77. Marko Feller

    i really belive that weird al is the best handyman around

  78. Simon Cameron

    You still got it man!

  79. - Lopez

    @0:21 did he do a lil john, haa?

  80. - Lopez

    "When ur dishwashers bout to 'splode" 😂😂😂 rotfl. Cracks my shit up everytime. & @2:15 gd man 😂😂

  81. sda SinewySea

    Pls don't screw *that*

  82. pix1220 LOL

    Why do I feel like my Dad would like this?

  83. Jacob Martin

    Mullumbimby sends its regards.

  84. Gmgn64

    That leaf blower knocked that mustache off his face

  85. Rachel Drake

    What's the original song???

  86. Sohan Dsouza

    Anyone else seeing flashes of Matthew McConaughey? 🧐

  87. The Channel of Ultimate Destiny

    It's a shame this is not a real small-town local tv ad.

  88. PapaDeltaYankee

    I really appreciate that he's dressed as Han Solo...

  89. Quaid M

    This original song sucked but this is good

  90. I ScopeUrMum

    How does Bart Baker have more subs than you?

    Sophie T

    Baker is vulgar, autotuned and greedy.
    Al is creative, talented and asks permission and pays every artist he parodies.
    I agree, it's sad that more people don't know about Weird Al.

  91. Eco Mouse

    Been a fan of Al's since late night on the Dr. Dimento Show and loved when his videos were on Turkey Television!

  92. chaosmastermind

    I'll install anything that you want, baby....GIGGITY

  93. Jared Doppenberg

    me when i learn anything

  94. Kurtis Deakin

    Lyrics and hilarious body language. Love it! Watch UHF if you guys haven't.

  95. Kurtis Deakin

    I wish I could like these twice.

  96. Caleb McClung

    What song does this parody?

  97. Charles Cox

    When did Mr. Schneider hook up with the Mario Brothers?

  98. Peter rowe

    Commercials in the 90`s like

  99. Donivan Harvey

    Lol😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂