Undertones, The - My Perfect Cousin Lyrics

Now I've got a cousin called Kevin
He's sure to go to heaven
Always spotless clean and neat
The smoothest you can get them
He's got a fur lined sheepskin jacket
My ma said they cost a packet
She won't even let me explain
That me and Kevin were just not the same

Oh my perfect cousin
What I like to do he doesn't
He's his family's pride and joy
His mothers little golden boy

He's gotta degree in economics
Maths - physics and bionics
He thinks that I'm a cabbage
Cos I hate university challenge
Even at the age of ten
Smart boy Kevin was a smart boy then
He always beat me at Subbuteo
Cos he flicked the kick
And I didn't know

Oh my perfect cousin
What I like to do he doesn't
He's his family's pride and joy
His mothers little golden boy

His mother bought him a synthesizer
Got the Human League into advise her
Now he's making lots of noise
Playing along with the art school boys
Girls try to attract his attention
But what a shame it's in vain total rejection
He will never be left on the shelf
Cos Kevin he's in love with himself

Oh my perfect cousin
What I like to do he doesn't
He's his family's pride and joy
His mothers little golden boy

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Undertones, The My Perfect Cousin Comments
  1. Fish Man

    Great song for a great time ❤️

  2. John Lowdon


  3. Anne Frank

    Strange topic

  4. loic huchet

    bons souvenirs!!

  5. Ole Mog23

    I love this band they never say much about them except for old Peelie who said Teenage Kicks was the best song he had ever heard. Think Fergul is great love his mop top and peepy eyes.

  6. Richard Royle

    this is as punk as you get - sheer brilliance, a personal, small gripe - it must be from their personal experience; otherwise, who's going to have a song moaning about the cousin that's better than you? From a happier time without the imminent death threats of St. Greta of the Zero Carbon Footprint ( TM. INC )

  7. mcfcguvnors

    please can we go back to this time ?
    ok we were on the brink of nuclear war but we had a copy of protect & survive ....to share ....with the rest of the street .... must go have to paint the house white to protect it from the 750 kiloton thermonuclear weapon that may or may not hit us :P

  8. Игорь Крылов

    Привет из России!!! У меня есть этот CD!!

  9. MomoTheBellyDancer

    This song is pretty much one big complaint about someone else who is different from yourself.

    Still a fun rump, though. One of my favorites.

  10. trevor brown

    Feargal looks suspiciously like Dylan Moran in this video

  11. jimmy nichols

    Pissed up...crying back for my youth, whats gone wrong ?

  12. nigel chadwick

    just a fantastic band. listen to them all the time

  13. Adam

    always spotless clean and neat, the smoothest you can get them!😃

  14. Stephen Alexander

    Next to Georgie, best thing to come fae Norn Iron.

  15. MALICE Kitty

    2020 and still being shared 💙

  16. Dancing Tom

    Why is the most recent comment a year old. Are we forgetting our roots. Also the football comments hilarious.




    Genius song


    Grunge was an Irish invention!

    dave h

    Pop punk could be


    Just shows you, there are many mansions in the kingdom of heaven.

  21. faeembrugh

    I like how he doesn't hide his Derry accent.


    Why should he, its a great accent :)


    It is, and hiding your accent if you're English, Scots, Irish or Welsh is always a shame for recording artists.


    @faeembrugh Listen to Fontaines DC, they are from Dublin, perfect example, and I reckon you might like them

  22. Portcullis

    I actually do have an older cousin called Kevin, and he did always beat me at Subbuteo; when I was about 6 years old. Not so much because he "flicked to kick, and I didn't know"; it had more to do with him cheating. He put all his players in my half, and as soon as I flicked a player beyond the half-way line, the rotten bastard said they were "offside"!
    He was a bad loser and I got him back, years later, when I was a teenager. We had one of the early video games (tank battle) and I learnt how to bend the shots round corners and thrashed him 20-0. Although he was in his twenties by then, he threw the control down and stormed off shouting "shit game anyway". I don't think we ever played each other at any games after that. Revenge can be sweet!

  23. SlotGrinder

    If I never hear Teenage Kicks again it would be too soon...this track on the other hand I could listen till the cows come home...absolute gem!

  24. Steffan Freshwater

    Does anyone else think the singer has the looks for a great Bond villain?


    Ha ha that Norn iron accent makes this song perfect✊🤪

  26. D B

    I always thought he said "because I hate an inveterate challenge" which would mean to break a habit or a daily routine. I have heard of the Pepsi challenge and the old college try but never university challenge.


    Kevin has....


    DB - now you MUST go search for the university challenge theme music from the 70s its hilarious

  27. David Carden

    Derry finest brilliant band

  28. Jerry Muzak

    rock, rock, rock!

  29. Tim Donovan

    bubble gum at the start i dont think so.

  30. Dr Wolfgang Chausser

    ive got a cousin called Corbyn
    He's sure is fucking boring
    Always tunes in to benefits street
    The most radical you can get them
    He's got a house in the E band bracket
    Abbot said they cost a packet
    She won't even let me explain
    That me and palestine are just not the same
    Oh my perfect corbyn
    whatever he says it boring
    He's his partys private joy
    a marxist little golden boy

  31. flashtheoriginal

    Best thing they ever did. Class

    Tim Donovan

    no mars bars was better

    Dave Theone

    Teenage kicks!

  32. BritinDetroit

    The best band to ever come out of Derry. Full Stop. the End


    nO offence meant..what other bands came out of Derry?

  33. Iwona Iwona

    There's a rumour, that Kevin doesn't speak with them till today


    Doesn't affect the enjoyment from listening. What's your question caller?

  34. Lesley McShea

    Perfect Cousin Hannah.

  35. Ian Mangham

    Lmao, we would all laugh at sharky back in the day, that hit in the face by a bus look 🤣

  36. Deep Thunks


  37. SlotGrinder

    An absolute gem, like an early Who song (well they had a song about a cousin kevin aswell but its awful) or early Kinks. Lyrical genius!

  38. Javier López

    Ya soy un Underton más. Gracias por estos pildorazos

  39. Paul Bradley

    fucking class period

  40. P J

    Great band- shame Feargal was such a cock

  41. Cardinal Sin

    mi prima perfecta.
    lo que me gusta hacer, el no.


    The lead singer is ugly as sin

  43. bo2web

    Fucking good british 80's sound ! Facing mainstream commercial music industry in France my mind crossed the Channel for the best !

  44. joe solowyk

    The Dead Kennedy's frontman sounds like him.

  45. Mostly Old Movies

    Derry City vs. Linfield?

  46. fasthracing

    Great lyrics

  47. Gareth Beaton

    Memarys love it still feal like that kid

  48. John Cooper

    Just bloody ace well it was our time xxx

  49. Gaudd 1888


  50. johndickson76

    Genuis lyrics

  51. Hot80s

    Roman thinking of Niko ( and bowling )

  52. Frank Emerson

    Timeless classic

  53. Eric George

    This is about as far removed from Punk as it gets, but I don't care coss I love it!! Great song and great band.


    Punk Rock

  55. Dangerous Dennis

    I had a cousin called Kevin, little shit, I stabbed him in the throat,#RIPKev

  56. Daniel Jordan

    I'm 14 and this is my favourite song

  57. 前橋みき

    Irish Ramones and were brilliant-first album is a classic-love this group

  58. J K

    Where's Jim Flynn?

  59. Steve nokes

    classic then classic now classic 3019

  60. MondoBeno

    I rarely hear British singers' accents actually come out when they sing.

    Ribbons & Bows

    @Decky Graham Good man! Going to say the same....that's because Feargal isn't a flippin' "English" singer he's Irish!! I thing it's a hoot that there are people who assume his name is some edgy pop alias. We had more than one family of "Sharkeys" on our street in Derry........fairly common name there :-).


    1:54 Noy.


    @Ribbons & Bows We English think of Sharkey & George,it can't be a common surname in England.

  61. Harleykenn

    It's all brilliant isn't it.

  62. tinfoilstraw 123

    *reads title*
    Me: ight I hope this isn't ......

  63. Fred Versteeg

    In the early noughties the Undertones were in Leiden, Holland. With a new singer who apoiigized, because he wasn't born before the original band split up. It took two songs before the crowd accepted him. And halfway the band sung the Kevin song and everybody joined in. All the Undertones were surprised. I guessed they never expected the Dutch to have the same grutches.

    John Gormley

    Hi Fred. You would have seen Paul McLoone in the 2000's who took over the singing duties from Fergal. Paul was a Derry man like the rest of the band. Although the band did "split up" after Fergal left they never really split- the band you saw had all the other original guys, including the songwriters being the O'Neill brothers. Seen The Undertones about 10 times in London in those early days- best gigs ever!

    Fred Versteeg

    @John Gormley Hello John, thank you!

  64. Alf Williams

    Hands up if you have a perfect cousin!

  65. Scouse Sean

    Saw them play Liverpool Royal Court in 1980 (Empire Theatre) They were awesome live & the crowd went wild. They wouldn't leave the stage & did encore after encore. In the end, the management turned the big lights on & unplugged them; pure class.

  66. Zebra FInch

    Love the lyrics on this song pure talent

  67. chunky chunks

    Always reminds me of MY perfect cousin, Grrr!

  68. Kevin Jones

    The times have changed, but back then there were loads of good bands, imagine hearing this for the first time and thinking, hold on this is about . . . . .

  69. Marmalade Stex1591

    Kraftwerk were already on a Job!.

  70. Rascal356000

    What a terrific find on You Tube. One of those songs I'm so glad I stumbled on.

  71. Marky Patt

    Still cool now

  72. Luca Savino

    Damn the Subbuteo, i loved to play with it, but after few days i've already broken half of the players....they were too fragile ;).

  73. pharcyde110573

    Average at best…nothing compared to today’s talent like……..errr……errr……errr,
    well errr….just a moment…..errrr. fuck it I love it!!!!

  74. GS Sheriff

    A day when bands didn't give a shit about image.

  75. ozzie321

    He flicked to kick. Sneaky bastard.

  76. shavedeyeball

    Where can I buy that pullover?

    Ba Pete

    shavedeyeball Mother knitted for me.......👍🇬🇧🤓

  77. Kenny boy

    ' He thinks that I'm a cabbage..',

    ... Brilliant.

  78. Geraldine Byrne

    Great lyrics terible voice

  79. jonnybgoode007

    Amazing. Thank You. Rocks!!

  80. chris barker

    Flicked to kick.. love it.

  81. christopher james

    They they were a good old punk band . From northern island I believe .

  82. zmi060200

    My perfect cousin would put in my ass, when I was 13 and he was 15, but he didn't do it...

  83. justmadeit2

    Who else can relate to that successful and perfect cousin ? Or maybe its you that is that perfect Cousin ! ? Let me know below

    Si Hopebgood

    My cousin Nick was and still is a dodgy bullshitting twat.  He used to nick all my toys as a kid  -  my dad caught him with a pocketful of our Monopoly game money.  Busted!  Now he lives in the US in a tiny New York apartment where even he admits "swinging a cat" is not an option while he tries to write a "killer" Broadway play.   He is sooo full of shit it's unbelievable!  Do I wish him well?   Of course I do.   Awh....

  84. michael cincotta

    One of the greatest RnR songs ever written. Nothing else needs be said

  85. David Wood

    Great jumpers

  86. TheUruguay3050

    He flicked A kick and I didn't know

  87. steve wilson

    as John Peel said.. best punk bandever

  88. Geoffrey Jonathan Wilson

    Bofursgun well said ! Absolutely true !

  89. Sedgwick Morrison

    Shame Feargal turned into a anti-piracy knob end. Can't listen to this now.

  90. Rick H

    Over 400 boys with degrees in Economics, Maths, Physics and Bionics downvoted this video!
    To think- Over four hundred 🐑 died for them!

  91. DrunkenPostie

    The finest pop song ever written.

  92. American Born Patriot.

    The lead looks a bit like Steve M.

  93. Steve Blonde

    Who's here is in 2019 🙌

    Capri Kid

    Here in 2019 Steve...still in the Capri

  94. Zappa 750

    2019, still here.

  95. David Bernard

    You can just taste how gritty and rough Northern Ireland was in the early 70's watching this clip.

  96. Birtha Butt

    Great pop band! So many excellent songs...Up Derry!

  97. corni gawrys

    this is before he was feargal lol