Sage Francis - Who Farted? Pt. 1 Lyrics

Anybody's who's been on tour...
(I like the way you say "tour".)
...sharing a van with a bunch of fools
you know there's always one important question:

Who Farted? Was is Captain Kirk?
Did it smell even worse than his acting work?

Who Farted? Was it Gary Coleman?
Is he always unhappy because of his crappy colon?

Who Farted? Was it Will Smith?
Did you check his underwear? They say he leaves Fresh Prints.

Who Farted? Was it Alyssa Milano?
She said to think outside the box, so I pissed in her taco.

Who Farted? Was it Jar-Jar Binks?
Is he the reason why the new Star Wars stinks?

Who Farted? Was it Salma Hayeck?
Did it smell just like shit? Well, I like it.

[chorus]

Who Farted? Was it Barack Obama?
Is Volcano Joe the Plumber dropping mini chocolate bombs huh?

Who Farted? Was it McGruff the Crime Dog?
Did he warn the kids about his big puffy slime log?

Who Farted? Johnny Cash, is that who farted?
When his ass passed gas was it dearly departed?

Who Farted? Was it Natalie Portman?
If I made whoopee to her cushion we'd have flatulent offspring.

[chorus]

Who Farted? Was it David Blaine?
Did the camera angle obscure abrasive stains?

Who Farted? Was it Bob Dylan?
The answer my friend, is blowing in the wind.

Who Farted? Was it Mos Def on Bill Maher?
Stick it where the sun don't shine.
You know, the black star.

Who Farted? Was it Ashcroft
smelling like a shitty version of Eminem?
Well then?