Rhett & Link - I'm A Textpert (Rap Battle) Lyrics






[Rhett & Link talking:]
Hey
Whatcha doing?
Driving, whatcha doing?
Driving and texting..
Hmmm. Are you sure you should be doing that?

[Link:]
Yes, because. I'm a textpert

An expert at texting
Rejecting the notion that you think I'll be wrecking
Due to the fact that I'm distracted?!
I multi-task best behind the wheel when I get textually active

YOU should keep both eyes on the road, sir. For real
You'll look down, look up and end up in the trunk of another automobile
Leave it to a pro. Be incommunicado
Until you get to where you need to go, this conversation's O. Ver

[Rhett & Link talking:]
No it isn't?
Yes it is
No it isn't!

[Rhett:]
Cause I'm a textpert! An expert at texting
Pressing, my keypad when my car's not resting
I can divide my attention up
I got so much attention, I've got an eleven-tion

With one eye on the road; one eye on my phone
I texted-in this drive-thru order for my latte and scone
Thank you
Now I'm-n-a text-n-eat-n-sip-n-dip and shift
It in to D and then chin-drive home

[Hook: Rhett & Link:]
I'm a textpert
A textin' traveler who doesn't need a chauffeur-eur-eur-eur-eur
I'm a textpert
Don't worry, nobody's gonna get hurt-urt-urt-urt-urt

[Link:]
Sometimes I text both sides of a conversation
Cause it's tough to keep up with my text-ual pacing
On rare occasion, when I've got nothing to text about
I text myself reminders of what I'm doing now

[Rhett:]
I carry on, more concurrent conversations
Than one phone alone is prone to accept
So, I've
Tested and perfected my patented method:
The second handset hands-free toe text

[Link:]
I ride with my Swedish Masseuse
She gimme deep tissue thumb shiatzu

[Rhett:]
My yogi shows me hand yoga poses, like:
Downward Facing Pinky and Thumb Lotus

[Link:]
I'll never stoop so low, as to text photos
Instead I text the correct combo of 1's and 0's

[Rhett:]
I'm an artiste! Using ASCII!
I just texted this toad to an art gallery

[Link:]
I text more, than the next bored pre-pubescent tween!
In fact I've text-induced my own second puberty!

[Rhett:]
How does that work exactly?

[Link:]
Everything that happened before is happening some more
That's all I'm comfortable sharing at this time...

[Rhett:]
I gave a lift to a drifter!
And texted his estranged sister
And now I'm hostin' em here for dinner!

[Link:]
Well did I mention I'm a text-itrician?
A next-gen OB/GYN, a Lamaze text-nician

[Rhett:]
Well, I'm the next Dr. Phil of SMS

[Link:]
I'm poppin' out babies with the power of text!

[Hook]

[Rhett and Link talking:]
By the way, where're you headed son?
Headed West on 421
421?
Uh-huh
West?!
Yes. You?
Me? I'm headed...
[CRASH]

"If you're texting, you're not driving."





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Rhett & Link I'm A Textpert (Rap Battle) Comments
  1. w.... d....

    At 1:10 my grandpa started to shout incoming and hid under his blanket

  2. P.... F....

    I got a "Don't Text And Drive" ad before the video

  3. S.... R....

    Loldamort

  4. p.... ....

    anyone here 2020

  5. G.... ....

    0:23 - 0:41 = Look at Link's neck, O_O

    G.... ....

    Its the mic

  6. C.... M....

    Easy solution, use the heccing microphone button so you can text and drive.

  7. G.... J....

    you guys should be arrested for texting while driving

  8. E.... A....

    I recognized iJustine lol

  9. A.... F....

    The chin-driving bit actually makes me very anxious

  10. F.... ....

    *2020?*

  11. D.... M....

    they need sunscreen!!

  12. D.... L....

    0:32 my favorite part

  13. D.... ....

    I knew on super late but what are the ltrics

  14. j.... ....

    Is it just me or I saw iJustine?

  15. S.... t....

    Almost 2020 and still missing these songs? Anyone?

  16. C.... 6....

    All moms rise up

    Here is your theme song

  17. R.... G....

    Como mola os admiro sois unos que molan

  18. A.... Z....

    2:21 Don't you just love it when people drive into a hospital while having a baby?

    A.... Z....

    Haha funny

  19. D.... B....

    2019 anybody?

    D.... B....

    Almost 2020

  20. C.... ....

    I was expexting them to crash into each other

  21. J.... W....

    When the beat dropped and they were driving through space (or whatever) my jaw dropped

    J.... W....

    Julianne Wilkins Driving through space? Sounds like some kind of 2080 crazy technology

  22. M.... M....

    2:21 i just realized they're in a hospital

    M.... M....

    Mudders Martain WOW here want a gold metal?

    M.... M....

    Danny Boi gaming and sports No but I’d like to know-do you like the new fifa, ya know the one that clearly is the same as the last one?

  23. E.... S....

    That must’ve been dangerous to film

  24. L.... C....

    There is a song littorally saying how you should get off your phone and this song just threw it all the window

  25. T.... D....

    E N D U P I N T H E T R U N K O F A N O T H E R A U T O M O B I L E

  26. b.... ....

    getting so nostalgic from these vids 😭😭

  27. C.... M....

    *safety HAS LEFT THE CHAt*

  28. G.... H....

    WHO WON!? WHOS NEXT!? YOU DECI-


    Oops, wrong channel!

  29. U.... ....

    If Karen was a TV show, this would be it's theme song

  30. T.... B....

    Is Link old school Eminem?

  31. A.... W....

    What’s with links neck

  32. P.... S....

    Baby I’m a textpert

    You can wear my sweatshirt

  33. i.... a....

    “That doesn’t need a chauffeur-eur-eur-eur”


    *I felt that*
    (I laugh in I only drive with a chauffeur language)

  34. B.... ....

    Do people still watch this is 2019?

    B.... ....

    Yah son

    B.... ....

    Begone REEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEAeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE





    Does that answer your question😂

  35. D.... G....

    That was their coma

  36. M.... t....

    This should be a part of the Drivers Education safety videos.

  37. B.... b....

    I’m a textpert and expert at texting.

  38. N.... C....

    ok boomer

  39. B.... ....

    Sience there's no disclaimer, dont text in drive the following actions can cause serious harm

  40. M.... M....

    They legit showed us this song in drivers training

  41. p.... ....

    2:04 masseuse dies inside

  42. p.... ....

    Just the other day I heard a facebook story about a guy that was texting while driving and he drove straight into the bumper of a semi at 80 mph. His head was found in the backseat and his phone, still in his hand, texting a friend. The picture looked like someone covered the back of the truck with tinfoil and made it look like a bumper. Either ask Siri to read it, have your friend read it, or wait. Life is beautiful, don't throw it away over an electronic.

  43. J.... R....

    It took me 5 years for this to get recommended to me

  44. S.... ....

    If anyone's interested, the binary says "´˜–Ô˜­\S*šKiki1-©1Z¸¦U4›U§U+¥¥¬©R+L’Ý·JKtªÖ¥)V+X®R•jÑV¥¥Kq"

  45. E.... ....

    This should be on last words

  46. A.... ....

    How the baby just pops out XD

  47. j.... b....

    also who thinks they should make more songs

  48. P.... P....

    10001001110000010101010110101010101010101101101101101000110001010110101

  49. j.... j....

    in my state its illegal to even hold your phone while driving

    j.... j....

    Is almost everywhere point there making is it's not safe

  50. B.... J....

    Man Textpert, Bellybutton, I'm on Vacation, and It's my OCD all in 1 year. 2014 was the YEAR of Rhett and Link songs

  51. M.... N....

    The beginning sounds like an Discount Eminem song

  52. R.... W....

    Reminds me of Eminem

  53. J.... S....

    2019 boys

  54. N.... R....

    That's not safe. They have no seatbelts and they are driving 50mph

  55. j.... t....

    I showed this to my friend with epilepsy and he likes it so much he’s on the floor on his back dancing

  56. M.... ....

    (————\/————)
    \. O o. O


    I tried to do a frog so here






    Frog

  57. C.... K....

    Ok don’t do this in real lifr

  58. S.... P....

    Don't text and drive

  59. G.... F....

    Who will be the nextpert textpert? (Donald Trump.)

  60. T.... M....

    If you’re texting and driving, get into a car crash. It means you’re not an textepert, so leave it to the pros

  61. Y.... 4....

    Rhett Won

  62. R.... 1....

    This video was on my course to get my Learners Permit

  63. N.... 2....

    Was I the only one who didn’t know the Swedish woman was IJustine

    N.... 2....

    I actually had no idea until I saw this comment.

  64. I.... M....

    *Texting and driving percentage raises by 20%*

  65. D.... F....

    Over 5 years later and I still know the lyrics 😏

  66. B.... B....

    1:05 WARNING IF ANYONE HAS epilepsy don’t watch this

  67. �.... K....

    ok? but... so who drive the wrong way.

  68. W.... 4....

    Please don’t text and drive, you will die

  69. R.... V....

    i was cringing so bad

  70. f.... t....

    1:06 there either on acid are driving through a rave

  71. s.... m....

    this is illegal im calling the police (5 years too late)

  72. T.... W....

    wait is that ijustine?

  73. y.... C....

    every 16 year old girl ever

  74. n.... ....

    Get off the phone

    I’m a textpert


    \_( ツ )_/

  75. L.... P....

    https://m.tiktok.com/v/6748939992870980870.html?u_code=d1eg9169eid8dj&preview_pb=0&language=en×tamp=1571542032&utm_campaign=client_share&app=musically&utm_medium=ios&user_id=6588405800937832454&tt_from=snapchat_story&utm_source=snapchat_story

  76. C.... m....

    0:35 that’s impossible to say that

  77. J.... B....

    Ijustine is in this

  78. H.... ....

    love how they are promoting texting and driving

    H.... ....

    Not really, did you finish the whole thing? They end up in an accident and even say if your texting your not driving.

  79. S.... O....

    In my opinion this is there best song

    S.... O....

    This and manliness

  80. M.... B....

    The two rappers that Eminem is too scared to battle

  81. F.... ....

    I just watched this video on my drivers ed course lol

  82. J.... i....

    I used to think this was the best song ever.......

  83. J.... A....

    I’m an expert a textpert at exting

  84. N.... T....

    Put it on playback speed 1.25, it sounds like a real, amazing rap

  85. J.... ....

    https://discord.gg/UFjMMdE join me discord plz

  86. L.... S....

    Put this in 2x 😂😂😂😂

  87. E.... ....

    No one is going to mention Links great flow?

  88. I.... T....

    Who else get dizzy when the crazy lights on

  89. D.... ....

    W h y d o I k n o w a l l o f t h i s

  90. A.... H....

    I’m a textpert
    An expert at texting
    Investing in you kids ear and nesting
    Testing

  91. S.... S....

    The golden age of R&L music videos

  92. S.... T....

    What's up with link's neck? Look at it. It looks like it's spreading apart when he talks

  93. G.... ....

    1:04 bruh this scone hittin different

  94. D.... ....

    They just need to put some bacon on it

  95. M.... L....

    Guys don’t go sending text missedages

  96. T.... ....

    the beat drops so violently in this song