R.E.M. - The Worst Joke Ever Lyrics

You see there's this cat burglar who can't see in the dark.
He lays his bets on 8 more lives, walks into a bar.
Slips on the 8 ball, falls on his knife.
Says, "I don't know what I've done, but it doesn't feel right!"

Some things don't hold up over the course of a lifetime,
When's the first time you heard that one, 1954?
Get to the punch line. fall to the floor.

Give me a minute and I'll tell you the setup for
The worst joke ever, I never
I'll tell you my version of the greatest life story
Don't bore me

Now I am floating,
I feel released.
The moorings have been dropped,
The weights unleashed.
Everything is crystalline, simple and free.

The crime of good men who can't wrestle with change,
Or are too afraid to face this life's misjudged unknowns
You're not hurting anybody else's chances,
But you're disfiguring your own.

Give me a minute and I'll tell you the setup for
The worst joke ever, I never
I'll tell you my version of the greatest life story
Don't bore me, I NEVER
Give me a minute and I'll tell you the setup

You see there's this feeling that I've heard this one before