Randy Newman - The Great Debate Lyrics
[Mediator:]
Welcome, welcome, welcome to this great arena! Durham, North Carolina, the heart of the Research Triangle! We've come to this particular place tonight, 'cause we gotta look at things from every angle. We need some answers to some complicated questions if we're going to get it right.
To that end, we have here gathered some of the most expensive scientists in the world—eminent scientists, that is. We got biologists, biometricians, got a quantum mechanic and astrophysicians. Got a cosmologist and a cosmetician, got an astronaut, we got Astro Boy! We got he-doctors, she-doctors, knee doctors, tree doctors! We a got a lumberjack and a life coach!
Scientists, are you ready? First question: dark matter. Oh, dark matter. Give me someone knows somethin' about space.
[The Scientists send a representative.]
Nice space music, Georgie. All right, what is it? Where is it? Can we get some? Stand up, sir, would you? You are standing, forgive me. Dark matter, go ahead.
[Georgie:]
Dark matter is out in space.
It's seventy-five percent of everything...
[Mediator:]
Just a moment, sir. Do yourself a favor, use our music. People like it, and your music's making people sick! All right. It's a free country, go ahead. Dark matter, what is it?
[Georgie:]
We don't know what it is, but we think it's everywhere.
[Mediator:]
I'd like to take a look at it. Can we get some down here?
[Georgie:]
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Of course not!
[Mediator:]
Let me get this straight: you don't know what it is, you don't know where it is, and we can't get any? Put that to the one side. Let's put the Lord, faith, eternity and whatever on the other side! Show of hands?
[True Believers:]
I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus every time!
I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus every time!
Yes I will, yes I will, yes I will, yes I will!
I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus every time!
[Mediator:]
All right, one-nothing! Next one's gonna be a hard one. It's about the theory of evolution, and it's about animals, also. So, give me someone knows somethin' about evolution, and animals. Who you got?
[Both sides send a representative.]
[True Believer:]
Wow, you're a beautiful woman, aren't you? Doesn't matter, of course, but if this science thing doesn't work out for you— oh, don't boo me, don't boo me! I'm just kiddin' you, you know that. Here's my question: explain me the giraffe. Go ahead.
[Scientist:]
Elaborate?
[True Believer:]
With pleasure, miss. The giraffe, to survive, must eat leaves high up on the Yabba Yabba tree. That's true, isn't it?
[Scientist:]
Of course it is. Everyone knows that!
[True Believer:]
But Mr. Darwin's giraffe, the halfway-giraffe, with a halfway-giraffe neck, could never have reached the highest branches of the Yabba Yabba. Therefore, he could not have survived. It's only common sense. Unfortunately for you, Mr. Charles Darwin didn't have any common sense! Evolution is a theory, and we have just now, tonight, disproved it. Show of hands?
[True Believers:]
I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus every time!
I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus every time!
Yes I will, yes I will, yes I will, yes I will!
I'll take Jesus every time!
[Applause from the gathered crowd.]
[Mediator:]
All right, two-nothing! Next question: global warming. Is it, and if so, so what— One of the true believers seeks to be recognized. Hand him a mic, Charles. Thank you.
[The True Believer taps the microphone.]
[True Believer:]
Sir, do you know what you are? You're an idiot. You're a strawman, a fabrication! You see, the author of this little vignette, Mr. Newman, self-described atheist and communist, creates characters, like you, as objects of ridicule! He doesn't believe anything he has you say, nor does he want us to believe anything you say. Makes it easy for him to knock you down, hence, a strawman. I, myself, believe in Jesus. I believe in evolution, also. I believe in global warming, and in life everlasting. No one can knock me down.
[Mediator:]
Oh, we can knock you down, Mister! We can knock your communist friend down, too! Communist... You call me an idiot! We've been knocking people like Mr. Newman down for years and years! Like this: page 35, Georgie! Mrs. Dorothy, page 35...
[All:]
I know someone is watching me
Everywhere I go
Someone sees everything I see
Knows everything I know
When I'm in trouble, don't have a friend
There's still somebody on whom I can depend
Someone who'll be there 'till the very end
Someone is watching me!
Someone is watching me!
Someone is watching me!
For so long, I was too blind to see
Someone is watching
Someone is watching
Someone is watching me!
[Mediator:]
Take a little break, ladies and gentlemen. Fifteen, maybe twenty-five minutes, depending on how the merchandise is moving. We'll be right back!
[Applause.]
Other Lyrics by Artist
- Randy Newman - The World Isn't Fair
- Randy Newman - Hard Currency (Demo)
- Randy Newman - Gainesville, Florida (Demo)
- Randy Newman - When Love Is In The Air (Demo)
- Randy Newman - Love Time (Demo)
- Randy Newman - March Of The Protestants (Demo)
- Randy Newman - Damn Fine Day (Demo)
- Randy Newman - It Was Beautiful (Demo)
- Randy Newman - Each Perfect Day (Demo)
- Randy Newman - Pass On Over (Demo)
- Randy Newman - Happy Ending
- Randy Newman - Basin Street Blues (Demo)
- Randy Newman - My Name Is James
- Randy Newman - The One You Love
- Randy Newman - Great Nations Of Europe
- Randy Newman - Every Time It Rains
- Randy Newman - I'm Dead (But I Don't Know It)
- Randy Newman - Shame
Rand Lyrics
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Randy Newman The Great Debate Comments
75 years old and still an incredible singer/songwriter!
reminds me of 'A Matter of Life and Death' Powell presberger for somme reason. So fresh so brilliant.
oh yeah....
I'm actually scared for the future; with or without Randy Newman.
I'll take ignorance, I'll take ignorance, I'll take ignorance all the time. Can't understand them scientist but that won't cost a dime.
Dark Matter is Jesus!
Pretty good for an old fart. I'll take Jesus every time. For an atheist he writes a hell of a gospel tune.
Although I liked the rest of the album the first song is less successful to wordy and too long , like my own poetry teacher said don't preach down too strongly it doesn't work some of the musical experimentation though is interesting
Subscribe to my channel
Randy Newman is a genius
I like the way your voice sounds now. yeah man!
dark matter is a reflection of light but without mirrors.
This is my favorite Dream Theater song.
Praise be, new Newman! Never a better time than now
ランディ・ニューマン健在なり!今作では、アメリカの光と影を歌うのみならず、世界の光というか闇を歌っている。「dark matter」いいタイトルだと思います。
Welcome, welcome, welcome
To this great arena
Durham, North Carolina
The heart of the research triangle
We've come to this particular place tonight
We've gotta look at things from every angle
We need some answers to some complicated questions
If we're going to get it right
To that end we have here gathered
Some of the most expensive scientists in the world
Eminent scientists, that is
We got biologists, biometricians
We got a quantum mechanic and astrophysicians
We got a cosmologist and cosmeticians
We got an astronaut, we got an astroboy
We got he-doctors, she-doctors
Knee doctors, tea doctors
We got a lumberjack and a life coach
On the other side, we have the true believers
We got the Baptists, the Methodists, the Presbyterians
Episcopalians are here, pass the hat
We got the Sugars, the Quakers
The anti innoculators
The big-boss line from Madison Town
The Six Blind Boys, Five Tons of Joy
Give 'em room or get outta the way
We got a Bible-belter from the Mississippi delta
Have them all arraigned
Scientists, are you ready?
First question
Dark matter
Ooh, dark matter
Get me someone who knows somethin' about space
Nice space music, Georgie
Alright, what is it?
Where is it?
Can we get some?
Stand up sir, what's your-
You are standing, forgive me
Dark matter, go ahead
Dark matter is out in space
It's seventy-five percent of everything
Just a moment, sir
Do yourself a favor, use our music, people like it and
Your music's making people sick
Alright, it's a free country
Go ahead with dark matter, what is it?
We don't know what it is
But we think it's everywhere
I'll take a look at it
Can we get someone down here?
Of course not!
Let me get this straight
You don't know what it is
You don't know where it is
And we can't get any
Put that to the one side
Let's put the Lord, faith, eternity
Whatever on the other side
Show 'em Vance
I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus
I'll take Jesus everytime
I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus
I'll take Jesus everytime
Yes, I would
Yes, I would
Yes, I would
Yes, I would
I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus
I'll take Jesus everytime
Alright
One-nothing
Next one is going to be a hard one
It's about the theory of evolution
And it's about animals also
So get me someone who knows somethin' about evolution and animals
Who you got?
Woah
You're a beautiful woman, aren't you?
It doesn't matter of course
This science thing doesn't work out for you
Don't boo me, don't boo me
I'm just kidding, you know that
Here's my question
Explain me the giraffe
Go ahead
Elaborate with pleasure, miss
The giraffe, to survive, must eat leaves high up on the Yabba Yabba tree
That's true, isn't it?
Of course it is, everyone knows that
But Mr. Darwin's giraffe, a half-way giraffe, with a half-way giraffe neck
Could never reach the highest branches of the Yabba Yabba
Therefore, it could not have survived
It's only common sense
Unfortunately for you, Mr. Charles Darwin didn't have any common sense
Evolution is a theory
And we have just now, tonight, disproved it
Show of hands
I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus
I'll take Jesus everytime
I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus
I'll take Jesus everytime
Yes, I would
Yes, I would
Yes, I would
Yes, I would
I'll take Jesus everytime
Alright, two-nothing
Next question, global warming
Is it? And if so, so what?
One the true believers seems to be recognized
Hand over a mic, Charles
Thank you
Sir, you know what you are
You're an idiot
You're a strong man, a fabrication
You see, the author of this little vignette, Mr. Newman
Self-described atheist and communist
Creates characters like you as objects of ridicule
He doesn't to believe anything he has you say
Nor does he want us to believe anything you say
Makes it easy for him to knock you down, hence a strong man
I myself, believe in Jesus
I believe in evolution also
I believe in global warming
And in life everlasting
No one can knock me down
Oh, we can knock you down, mister
We can knock your communist friend down, too
Communist? He called me an idiot
We've been knocking people like Mr. Newman down for years and years
Like this, sir
Page 35 Georgie
Miss Dorothy, page 35
I know someone is watching me
Everywhere I go
Someone sees everything I see
Knows everything I know
When I'm in trouble, don't have a friend
It's him somebody who I can be friends with
Someone who'll be there till the very end
Someone is watching me
Someone is watching me
Someone is watching me
For so long I was too blind to see
Someone is watching
Someone is watching
Someone is watching me
Take a look back, ladies and gentlemen
15, 20, 25 minutes
Depending on how the merchandise is moving
We'll be right back
Straw man, not strong man. Thanks for the lyrics!
Shakers, not Sugars.
Show of hands, not Show 'em, Vance.
Randy..you been following up the great Song...where you referred to yourself as a "froggish man: L Great album!!!
This song gets better and funnier everytime I hear it. In fact I can't wait to hear it again!
Na na na na na
I wish this tune was a hair longer!
Highly rated in Rolling Stone Magazine this month.
RS is a worthless opinion now..you should know that,, SO you know what they rate 'high" these days...Auto tune Inc
ill take jesus every time
Me and my comm-un-ist friends are knocked down
Giraffes actually evolved long necks to knock other males down so that they can have sex with the females...
So, guess there has been a lot of knocking.
This blew my mind smoked for hours n sipped coronas thank u randy this was a dope azz record
The super dissonant space music that comes in while the scientist is talking about dark matter is hysterical. I love how many music jokes he packs into his songs.
You know, that is probably more or less what he thought
The best funniest vibes
Another classic song - I've been a fan for over 30 years and Randy is still going strong!
I put on my scary mask and danced around a fire while listening to this.... my cancer is cured!
hello newman
New album ? Good News !
thank you Mr. Newman.
"GET ON THE GLORY TRAIN... GET ON THE GLOOORY TRAIN..."
He's the genius of reusing.
That's what Irving Berlin did.
I was thinking the exact same thing.
In the end the side with the better music and commercials wins! ;)
Really the guy who knows they're all pawns in Randy's game is the one who really wins...
Randy mails it in. This cute shit is getting boring.
So go write some shit that isn't cute. Go on.
this song is as far from cute as you could get lmao
your dick must be super hard bro
WokeProgressive .... And the deeper meaning is?
Heard this song on BBC radio 6 music 2 months ago while I was at work and it's pure genius
Heard the start of this song at a bbc recording a couple months back. So glad to finally hear the full thing
Once again, nobody looks at our society with the clarity of Randy Newman. Caught you doing "Putin" on the Colbert show the other night. Great live solo performance. This is also very good.
This track is incredible. True genius.
thank u randy