Psychostick - Two Ton Paperweight Lyrics






My car is a PIECE OF SHIT!
I wanna drive you off a cliff
Watch you crash into a ravine
For the things you did to me, you...

STUPID CAR!
I wanna make myself a pipe bomb
Blow your damn engine back to hell
Where I know you're from.

PIECE OF CRAP!
You aren't even worth the tow
To a junkyard or a place
Where you'd sit and lay to waste, I...

WISH YOU'D DIE!
Oh nevermind, you always do.
Could you tell me how much longer it will be
Until I'm rid of you?

I wish that you'd just get hit by lightning (or something)
My confidence in you is sold with every part I buy
I guess I'm just a sucker with a lemon
So pucker up and kiss another paycheck goodbye!

You leak more than a newborn baby
I change you oil all the time but STILL you need some more
Your fluid puddles come in assorted colors
Such wonderful variety of problems galore

Will there be a time
Where I know I can drive
Without my car breaking down?

And will I ever see
It start consistently
Without the pain and the suffering?

Stupid fucking car, stupid fucking car (DIE!)
Stupid fucking car, stupid fucking car (DIE!)
Stupid fucking car, stupid fucking car (DIE!)

My car is a PIECE OF SHIT!
I ought to give you a swift kick
In the muffler, in the tire
Or where ever I desire you...

STUPID CAR!
You never get me very far when
You decide driving to the store is a mortal sin

PIECE OF CRAP!
I guess you want a piece of me
Since you're leaving all your pieces
In the middle of the street

You HEAP OF JUNK!
I don't know what I'm gonna do
I just hope that I don't have to take another day of driving you

I swear you must be older than my grandma (and she's dead)
The fact you run at all is quite a mystery to me
Your miles are approaching seven digits
May God have mercy on the soul that's holding the key

I'm guess I'm just a little angry
But for some reason, getting stranded kinda chaps my hide.
You probably think I'm slightly overreacting
Has your car ever made you think about suicide?

Will there be a time
Where I know I can drive
Without my car breaking down?

And will I ever see
It start consistently
Without the pain and the torment?

Will there be a time
Where I know I can drive
Without my car breaking down?

And will I ever see
It start consist...(what the?)

(Car starting) Come on...
(Car starting) Gimme a break!
(Car starts running for a moment) Ah?
(Car breaks) All right! Piece of SHIT!
(Smashing noises) DIE!
(Smashing noises) DIE!

Stupid car...





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Psychostick Two Ton Paperweight Comments
  1. C.... N....

    My car's been in the shop since September. Too relatable now.

  2. g.... c....

    THREE CARS BROKE DOWN ON ME THIS YEAR

  3. S.... F....

    Im just looking at my 2001 cadillac seville STS. And this comes on.

    Time to scrap it and get a new ride....

  4. t.... ....

    2006 Mazdaspeed 6. I hate this car.

  5. J.... S....

    This goes out to all the 6.0 Ford owners out there. 💞

    J.... S....

    Hell, you could've just left it at Ford owners and it'd still be apt.

  6. W.... ....

    I'd like to dedicate this song to the following vehicles:
    1990 Buick Century
    1986 Ford F-250
    2002 Subaru Outback
    2005 Subaru Legacy
    2001 Buick LeSabre

  7. M.... S....

    Describes a 2000 Dodge Intrepid (call it a shittrepid) my parents had that I drove before I had my own car. It was $1000+ to get it to pass inspection one year just for it to not pass the next year.

  8. S.... ....

    I adore my car. It is old, has had many parts replaced over the years, but my mom got it when I was a kid, and I bought it off of her with my first real job.

    ...but god do I feel this song sometimes.

  9. E.... ....

    Best song all around

  10. M.... M....

    I've been listening to this song since I was 13. 12 years later and I'm glad to say that I still don't have a car! Wait....

  11. C.... P....

    When your parody metal band STILL induces headbanging and provides amazing vocals, you have transcended comedy metal and are now just pure awesomeness.😁

  12. D.... O....

    Truck took a shit this morning and this song just happened to play on spotify while working on it. Laughing while pissed off is the best.

  13. K.... M....

    can someone make a version of this for exes .. ? :D

  14. K.... K....

    This would be awesome as part of a racing game soundtrack.

  15. B.... F....

    This band, is god forbid the Weird Al of metal.

  16. K.... P....

    aspasiaaaaaa

  17. 1.... ....

    i like this song but its sad i only remember it when im pissed off at my car

  18. P.... ....

    just buy a new car

  19. R.... ....

    To the 2004 Volkswagen Beetle 2.0 GLS that gave my family nothing but problems

  20. J.... L....

    I first got introduced to this song because AMV Hell 4. Several years later, I listened to the entire Psychostick discography in under a week.

  21. S.... M....

    R.I.P Blue falcon


    ....You fucking piece of shit.

  22. S.... C....

    AZLK 2141 RIP

  23. K.... K....

    PERFECT!!! where was this on Tape.. when i had my 99 Toyota Tercel From Hell!!! HAAA

  24. m.... a....

    The bass in this song is awesome!

  25. H.... F....

    My first moped, motorini xp50 💔

  26. T.... K....

    Definitely got to be a mid 80s chevy the way it turned over and all the rest of the clues! Fucking described my old 1/2t Chevy spot on😄😄😄😄

  27. V.... t....

    2005 Pontiac grand prix? Sounds alot like my car.

  28. F.... S....

    You probably own a ford.
    That's why you don't drive a ford.

    F.... S....

    It was a '91 Mercury Cougar.

    F.... S....

    Psychostick you guys actually replied I'm so shocked I love your guy's music it's amazing

    F.... S....

    Thanks! 🤘

  29. K.... T....

    @ 2014 Chevy Cruze LTZ. FUCK YOU

  30. F.... C....

    This is the best band of all time

  31. T.... R....

    This has been the theme song for my life since I got my license >:(

  32. D.... H....

    The funny thing about this band is their music/lyrics become more relatable the older you get😂😂😂😂

  33. D.... B....

    A stroke of pure genius hit the man that wtote this.

  34. P.... ....

    My car broke down this morning in Houston rush hour traffic. This song immediately came to mind and gave me a sense of comradery with everyone ever victimized by their vehicle. It's still on the side of the road. Piece of shit.

  35. N.... ....

    I sank 3 grand into my pile of shit Jeep already as it's my only way of transportation right now. I had to go on a 6 hour road trip because girlfriend had an emergency, drove fine the whole way. I get to my girlfriend's house and the next day the motherfucker wouldn't start. Oh the amount of rage I had on that pile of fucking horse shit. However I did fix the problem although it took me 8 hours. I plan on taking it in to a field loading that motherfucker with fuck tons of fireworks and going to town on the son of a bitch

  36. E.... S....

    This song is the only thing making the final 7 months of using my crapbox tolerable.

  37. E.... O....

    How sad is my life when psychostick is no longer comedy to me but highly relatable and personal?

    E.... O....

    Erik Olson
    I hate doing laundry

    E.... O....

    Lol true. Btw I am sure I have seen you comment on other videos. Your name seems so familiar.

    E.... O....

    @David B Same :(

    E.... O....

    Same my man

    E.... O....

    I wouldn’t say sad, I mean I have owned like 9 cars, only 2 did not make me feel like this track is relatable.

  38. T.... A....

    I can relate to this on a personal level

  39. W.... W....

    Rust in Hell late 90's Pontiac Grand Am

  40. Y.... ....

    After almost a decade, I finally found this song. I thank/blame AMV Hell 4 for this.😂

    Y.... ....

    I also found it after nearly a decade :P

    Y.... ....

    You know they put all the clips and songs used in the description.

    Y.... ....

    Jea Melancholy A decade ago, I came across a video of a car being demolished. The first half of this song was playing. But, the guy didn’t say the song name. Plus, Youtube didn’t mention it either.

  41. A.... 2....

    It wont start up

  42. A.... C....

    welp a car enthusiast will want to turn the car into the exact opposite of the song sleeper KP61 starlets (and other old cars) for life!

  43. F.... ....

    I had the sudden urge to listen to this after FOREVER of not hearing it!!! Still as epic as the first time!

  44. K.... A....

    Listens to this song in car. Car breaks down.

  45. T.... ....

    That was awesome... Done

  46. �.... �....

    Заебись!!!

  47. I.... 1....

    Fitting for how I'm feeling about my garbage Saturn right now

  48. E.... ....

    The junky Resistance speeders in The Last Jedi. Lol

  49. 6.... ....

    2 grand worth of repairs last week and my Jeep still lost all acceleration and shit the bed on the highway last night.

    up til 3 AM waiting for AAA an hour from home

    and they never ended up coming, had to leave the piece of shit

  50. S.... ....

    Why the fuck doesn't this have a music video?

  51. S.... ....

    0:57-1:28 is that parodying another song? The chorus just sounds so familiar, like something that would have been on the radio in the 2000s.
    Either way this is a classic, haven't heard psychostick in a while. :)

    S.... ....

    Sindragozer Sounds like a song from the ATV Offroad Fury series.

    S.... ....

    I've tried to figure out what song it sounds like and I never could. It bothers me so much, I know exactly what you mean

  52. A.... H....

    Dedicated to my impala

    A.... H....

    I dedicate this song to my '98 nissan Sentra

  53. P.... M....

    my '91 Honda Civic DX special edition, whom I christened as "Lizzie." I bought her with a bad gasket. But Lizzie got me from Point A to B until the rad hose blew and then all I wanted to do was dub Lizzie a witch so i'd have an excuse to burn her.

  54. J.... F....

    This song perfectly defines the GTA saga

  55. L.... C....

    This song is my religion now.

  56. j.... s....

    we own a chevorlet malibu 2012 and i can say with utmost certainty that i will not miss it. it's bulky, sluggish, uncomfortable, cramped, has no space, blindspot the size of rhode island (1 meter) right next to your face, and treks salt into the garage.
    it's destroyed musical equipment and lives.
    i will watch the fucking thing burn.

  57. K.... ....

    Pre XXXTENTACTION

  58. B.... G....

    Is it a prius? Cuz I hate'em too

  59. T.... ....

    Try to keep a straight face listening to this.

  60. M.... ....

    Dedicating this to my 2003 Malibu, you fucking Decepticon. I don't have the money for a new oil pump!!

  61. S.... C....

    and my late AZLK 2141 fucking trash, always broke down.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  62. S.... C....

    I hate my Lada 2108, fucking piece of shit

  63. D.... ....

    My car creates stress and this song relieves it

  64. S.... ....

    spent over $1200 and it still drives like shit, fuck you car!

  65. a.... w....

    Wasn't this a twenty one pilots song or something...hating a car?

    a.... w....

    +Sherlock Puns Never heard it.

    a.... w....

    This album released 6 years before Twenty One Pilots was a thing.

  66. b.... ....

    2004 Pontiac Grand Am. total P.O.S.

  67. A.... H....

    Maybe, but I still like my Dodge Neon.

    A.... H....

    was it a SRT4?

  68. J.... m....

    AMV hell 3

  69. b.... ....

    must be a Pontiac Grand Am

    b.... ....

    I've actually experienced some of the things in the song. "You leak more than a newborn baby" "your fluid puddles come in assorted colors" "and will I ever see it start consistently"

    b.... ....

    Now the Grand Am is gone.. replaced with a Chevy Trailblazer.. this song now fits my wife's Impala

  70. W.... C....

    i used to have a ford probe(haha probe,we get it,it's funny) that fucking turd was constantly breaking down,i ended up scrapping it,and jammed this song the entire way to the car shredder #RestInPiss

  71. T.... P....

    You got to admit 4:14 drum and bass solo was pretty dope!

  72. D.... S....

    this is the meta verision of adam sandler piece of shit car!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  73. C.... S....

    Please come to the UK!!

  74. D.... D....

    This song is for my 1991 Camry that gave out on me twice in one month,one of which was in the middle of a date. Replaced the distributor and it still won't start. Fuck my car...worst Thanksgiving ever...

  75. H.... S....

    Me when I play Jalopy

  76. t.... p....

    STUPID CAR!!!!!!

  77. N.... A....

    jameskii

    N.... A....

    He actually commented on here an hour ago.

  78. K.... ....

    I'm just now realizing this album came out 10 years ago.

    K.... ....

    Actually, this year will be 15 years since the release. The release year here was when it was re-released.

  79. S.... ....

    My car broke down last Monday and I sang this song to myself to cheer myself up while I waited to be rescued but I ended up getting pissed at my car. This old couple that came to help me pulled up to me kicking my car while angrily singing this song.


     The old lady said "We all get piece of shit cars once in our lives dear."

    S.... ....

    r/thathappened

    S.... ....

    SetosNiceGirl Interesting story, but I bet it's something to laugh at now

    S.... ....

    Try having a $25,000 engine blow up on you. This song is the best example.

    S.... ....

    I'm sorry but that's very funny xD .

  80. S.... ....

    ive been offered a car for free by a friend.......i can see this randomly becoming my theme song

  81. F.... M....

    Alright! You piece of SHIT!!! *proceeds to beat up his car*

  82. g.... ....

    I was listening to this when my car broke down xD

  83. M.... S....

    "... You must be older than my grandma, and she's dead."
    I lost it.

    M.... S....

    Lol same and my grandma died too. 13 years ago.

  84. d.... ....

    Totally the theme song to the 2002 Ford Focus SVT that I bought and, within the next 200 miles, it left me stranded no less than THREE TIMES for three totally different mechanical failures. (Fuel pump, crank position sensor, and alternator.) Worst money pit car EVARRRRRRR!

    d.... ....

    Yeah right, because nothing from Japan and/or Germany has ever broken down, EVER. LOL

    d.... ....

    +darkwriter77 owner of a 99 Subaru Forester. I can confirm Japanese cars have more than their share of problems. I basically ignore the lights on the dash at this point. 5000 in, and there's not much else I can do without just putting it in neutral and dropping it down a mountain.

  85. A.... ....

    Can anybody tell me what song the chorus sounds like? "Will there be a time..."? Thanks...

    A.... ....

    Sounds very familiar to me to, just can't put my finger on it.

  86. t.... ....

    why have you forsaken me, tatomovil

  87. A.... ....

    This is for my Shitroen Xsara. May you rot in a scrapheap somewhere.

  88. B.... ....

    First time I heard this, I was crying with laughter XD

    B.... ....

    ᏰᏗşιℓ everytime I hear this I'm crying lol

    B.... ....

    Same. I laughed my entire work lol

  89. T.... ....

    Weird to think it's about 13 years when i first heard this, still good. Correct me if i'm wrong but atleast some of the songs on "We Couldn't Think of a Title" and music video of Pluh were freely available online. Damn i feel old, oh well... more BEER!

  90. L.... M....

    You guys are the best because you make me smile and you're metal as fuck. I love you psychostick

  91. J.... M....

    When life gives you lemons, beat the shit out of your car.

    J.... M....

    +Joe Mack When life gives you lemons... You probably just found lemons.

    J.... M....

    If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.

    J.... M....

    If life gives you Lennon... you've just found a corpse!

  92. M.... A....

    90's cars are the worst. I own a Van from the 82 and runs perfectly o.o

    M.... A....

    don't say that some of the best cars came out then!
    sorry if you had any lemons

  93. B.... L....

    I swear you must be older than my grandma

    and she's dead



    lmfao fuckin psychostick

    B.... L....

    They're the fucking best

  94. i.... ....

    God damn i have a great life compared to all the fuckers on here with two ton paperweight cars

  95. M.... G....

    I always thought he said "Blow you damn midget back to hell"

  96. W.... I....

    Awwwe. Poor car. Only reminds me of my dream car. I had to stop listening when it said miles reaching 7 digits... Normally, that would be considered an incredibly good car.

  97. T.... S....

    I dedicate this song to my current vehicle, 1994 Chevy Cavalier, has been giving me nothing but hell for the past week or so. Just spent $650 on break work and shit and now the engine is acting up. It's either the battery or the alternator.

  98. j.... k....

    This song goes to my 1998 Chevy Malibue every time the fucker breaks down I give up eating for a week because every damn part in that car cost attest $200.00 plus labor and then I'm walking to work until I get it back FUCK YOU YOUR STUPUD TAIL PIPE AND YOUR STUPID CLOWN WHEELS

    j.... k....

    +jacob kindsvatter I'm rolling! Story of my life..