Problematic - Hopeless Lyrics

Lets rewind a few years back 2012
I was ashamed of myself didn't believe in my skills
Knew I wanted to spit real just to give them the chills
So they can relate to what I feel the connection is near
School was such a joke kept on smoking to cope
Getting picked on everyday nobody there to help me out
Mama told me quit rapping that I took the wrong route
Had to get an education fuck you doing with yourself?
Well I... had a strong ambition from this dream I envisioned
Flawless on a mission here to murder competition
Keep a clear conscious block away hate intended
Got a couple screws lose sanity missing
2013 got caught in hot water
Police watching close fucking stuck up in some drama
In a hot pursuit thinking why'd I even bother
Back and forth to jail face to face I met karma
I do believe in afterlife I do believe in Christ
Forgive me of my sins hope I make it through the night
For I done too many wrongs past has haunt me every time
But my fuck ups made me stronger made me come to realize
That people only there cause you got what they want
I'm done with fake friends like a whore you just suck
I'm a hip hop sinister trapped like a prisoner
In a world I can't escape colder than the winter sir
Sounding so poetic call me Edgar Allen Poe
Put my shit together like a carpenter I flow
Like electric circuits I am dangerous for sho'
Did it Independent I just thought I'd let you know
2014 wasn't getting any better
Lost my homeboy in a fire man I miss you more than ever
Now your son is growing up reminds me so much of you
Ima conquer and accomplish what you said to pursue
Finna be a better father figure than the one I had
Step dad beat up on my ma had to witness it was sad
Brothers even younger got em' scarring like a tat
Continue moving forward I ain't never looking back
I do have bi-polar and O.C.D.
Along with under-lying anger issues fuck you mean?
I can't over come adversity watch and see
I guarantee you'll wish never doubted me
I'm killing in the booth better bring that yellow tape
Destroy your fate hella mellow with your bae
We are all slaves to the government the way
Society is brainwashed I can't be sane
My girl and I keep arguing fighting a lot
No solution I'm to blame our love is stuck in a knot
I was lying had a temper didn't know what I want
Other than to be alone so I could find my spot
Months went by I got off them damn depressants
Drugs not the answer just brought upon tension
Once rebelled now compel asking God for Redemption
Maneuver through obstacles improving every section
Childhood was bitter sense the struggle is real
Trips to the food bank can't afford no meal
Social services in and out whats the deal?
Life can be a fucking joke finna label it the gag reel
Rappers in a stand still brought up in a landfill
Spamming artists to receive publicity we can't feel
Concerned about your news feed who's following back
You're so desperate for attention your whole mind has collapsed
Dead bodies laying in the streets kids being homeless
While you frozen in snow looking hopeless
Humanity atrocious you better fucking notice
Maybe that's the reason I suffer from phychosis
20-15 grinding hard to make an EP
Success on the verge keep on chasing after my dreams
Stay focused be consistent show a little sympathy
Spit it so meaningful make it last like memories
Can't erase what's done but I'm learning from mistakes
I ain't looking for the fame I'm just tryna make a name
Last one standing you would swore I won the hunger games
Writing helps to heal the pain and get rid of these stomach aches