Palmer, Amanda - Voicemail For Jill Lyrics

😭😭😭😭😭😭 thank you Amanda for what you do!

*Dear stranger whoever reads this:*
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👇
*I hope you have a great life with a lot of happiness!❤*

I've never even been pregnant and I still found myself crying at this.

Thank you
I had an abortion at 22. It was the worst experience of my life. Even thought it was necessary (medically, emotionally etc) I still have guilt and I still have to explain my way out of it. It's been just shy of 5 years and I still have that guilt. Thank you for a song that allows me to heal.

Lyrics 💞
Jill, it's Amanda, just waving from London
I know that you're going tomorrow, the hardest decision
And I've been on the side of the phone for a month
And I know you're in hell and you know that I know what you're feeling

Life's such a bitch, isn't it?
When you have a baby, they throw you a party
And then when you die they get together for a cry

But no one's gonna celebrate you
No one's gonna bring you cake
And no one's gonna shower you with flowers
The doctor won't congratulate you
No one on that pavement's gonna
Shout at you that your heart also matters

I'm not sure that you'll get this in time
I don't know if you're checking your voicemail at all
But in case it's the morning
And you're off at the green line and walking through Copley
I want you to stop for a second, I want you to listen
You don't need to offer the right explanation
You don't need to beg for redemption or ask for forgiveness
And you don't need a courtroom inside of your head
Where you're acting as judge and accused and defendant and witness

It's a strange grief but it's grief
Look at all the women in the street
You know the statistics, Jill
Even though they may not help
Isn't it amazing
How we can never tell
Who is in an identical hell

No one's gonna celebrate you
No one's gonna bring you cake
And no one's gonna shower you with flowers
The doctor won't congratulate you
No one on that pavement's gonna
Shout at you that your heart also matters

No one's gonna compliment you
No one's gonna nod their head
And wink in league with what you are pursuing
No one's gonna tie surprise balloons
Onto your desk at work
And no one's gonna ask you how you're doing

But I'll be back in Boston by next Thursday
Why don't I come over?
I can bring some friends if you want us to come
We can bring you cake and we can bring you flowers
We can bring you wine and we can talk for hours
Ukulele by request
We'll throw you the best abortion shower

Sickening! Educate yourself at http://100abortionphotos.com ::: “We’ll throw you the best abortion shower?” Murder in the Womb is nothing to celebrate!

This piece always stills my mind in the same way snow focuses one on the silence around us.

Your heart also matters

What a beautiful piece ❤️ I heart you Amanda

Something just occurred to me. Perhaps having nothing to do with this video:

Maybe some people want to be in their own hell. Maybe they don't want to be identified. Maybe hell would be exposure?

Ukelele by request
♥️ Makes me feel loved by you from a lonely night miles from the night you wrote this song

Every time I hear this, in concert, at home while working, in my classroom after my students have gone for the day, it moves me to tears. Twice in my life I have needed to make this decision, twice I have had no regrets for that choice, and yet each time I listen to your words I feel the agony of making the decision and dealing with the post abortion emotions all over again. I'm so glad you wrote this song, and so deeply sad that women all over are still being berated for making this choice. It is hell, even when one is certain that it is the correct decision at the time, it is just hell.

It is really different that the whole topic had been put in a context where the woman herself is the center of the story, and somehow I can relate to this so much more than if it would be represented from the aborted baby's side. Maybe I am cruel but this touched my heart so much.

I'm censoring myself because I'm a man. I've cried many times to this video. But I'm still censoring myself. People might ask "why are you censoring yourself?" or "how come you can't express yourself here?". I would love to share my feelings. Dammit I really would. But I think most people wouldn't understand.

Why should you celebrate an abortion? You killed an human being! Or if you don't belive that a fetus is an human being, then you killed at least a potential human being. To celebrate such a thing is just sick.

Nobody celebrates abortion. This song is literally about how awful it feels to get one. Nobody gets an abortion and loves it. The party she talks about at the end is to help her friend get through those tough feelings and help with the grief.

@Riley Jean
So if you don't want all the pain and grief, don't get an abortion and become a mother and family instead.

@Christian Rochat it's not that simple for some people. I would never personally get an abortion. But there are so many reasons people do it even if they don't want to. Many people can't just "become a mother and a family" because of their situations.

I'm not here to debate with you or change your mind or opinion. You have the right to believe what you believe about abortion. I just wanted to let you know that the party wasn't a celebration of killing a person. It was a party for Jill who got through such a tough thing. I hope you have a good day.

@Riley Jean
Ok, but it is just perverse to have a party after such an event. I hope you have a good day too.

Aside from empathy with all women going through this, the song brought me to tears for an entirely different reason. We decided against having children for various reasons, and that decision proves fine on so many occasions. But, you know... facts ain't feelings, and sometimes your imagination just runs wild, and then you cannot help but feeling sad that you never had, and never will have, the chance to meet your potential daughters or sons. I imagine that's another facet of the entire process of coping surrounding abortion; or at least I feel a connection there that makes me want to cry.

thank you

I go in on Wednesday. I feel bad but know the timing is all wrong. So I have to say goodbye to the little raspberry. Or rather see you later. I am getting together with my friends Friday. My own abortion shower. I have had this song on repeat for days.

This is tragically beautiful. And it made me think, personally and for so many of us, how many of us just walking down the street, or simply staring into the Nothing, that if someone would just stop reach over and tell us it will be ok and hug us. We the silent ones are always screaming the loudest.

This song is heartbreaking and beautiful.

It's about time someone like yourself showed just how detrimental it can be, how hard it hits you... People care about unborn babies till they're born. They're not protesting outside foster homes telling people to adopt the babies that have been born to women who cannot look after them!

This sent shivers down my spine and made me cry. The song, but also the video that accompanies it perfectly. It was worth waiting to write it, Amanda. It's amazing.

I never made the decision to have an abortion. I always said I would wait until I was in the situation to decide. Well, when I got into the situation, I decided to keep the baby. My relationship was over, I was moving out in two weeks time but...I couldn't. I couldn't. It was only in that moment that I knew how much I wanted to be a mother.

I miscarried. I'd only known for a week. I'd told him, I'd told my boss (because of absence) and I'd told two friends. In my head, I'd planned the entire year - how my job change would be affected, how my move would be affected, how I would manage without him, because we'd decided that we would still split up.

I never dealt with it. I cried, I bled, I moved house. I went back to work. My closest coworkers were amazing. They shared their own miscarriage stories, their losses. But it was always tempered with "it was for the best". One coworker callously noted how everyone around me was having babies...except me.

My child would have been around Ash's age - Amanda announced her pregnancy two days after I sent her a message about my miscarriage. It's been difficult being around people who are starting families, becoming parents. I've partially healed, and I can celebrate with them, for them. But it still hurts.

This was supposed to be a comment about how I wished that I had shared with my friends, the way Jill shared with hers, and that they supported her. I guess I needed to let this out instead.

It's never too late to open up to your friends xxx

If I'm wrong, let me know. But it seems women can hold each other and cry and it's ok whereas men can't do any of that.

Society makes men feel this way. It's unfair to feel as though you have to hide your feelings in order to be viewed in a positive way. Everyone feels.
But I do understand how you feel. With these viewpoints reinforced your whole life, it feels as though it is impossible to express and accept emotions outwardly.

I had an abortion the year before Roe v. Wade, and I still cried at this video. Thank you for making something so gentle and beautiful to help us through the loss.

My face is soaking wet right now. Because I can absolutely identify with this song. I love you my fellow sisters.

Featured on https://www.facebook.com/groups/NewSongMarketing/

#SheMakesHerSafeChoice

This is probably the most real song about abortion.

Just wow! And thank you.

Holy crap that just brought me to tears I’m literally sobbing in my kitchen thank yiu

This song completely tore away the patched up bandaids, unraveled all of my desperate, poorly-wrought stitches, off of the places in my heart that have been there for 18, 20, 22 years. I had no idea that it was still so raw under there. This song IS MEDICINE. It acknowledges what we are never allowed to openly feel, takes away the cover from a taboo that is so taboo; we don’t dare acknowledge it exists.

These are the words SO MANY have needed to hear...but *never* did.

I have the deepest gratitude and respect for Amanda’s work here. It is bringing to light the fact that there was/is an unnamed grief in our society. One we have not dared to acknowledge. One that deserved to be elucidated. And I don’t have enough words to tell how much the opening up I’ve felt through this song means to me. It has done nothing less than given me a better chance to heal more wholly.

🖤💜🖤💜🖤

Can I download this video to share?

No that's copyright infringement and stealing. Just share the link.

You won't be there to hold me.

I always was able to feel through your lyrics, i have become so cold through life i can barley cry anymore. I wish i wasn't so alone in the world. Thank you for seeing me. <3

I've never had an abortion. But I know what it's like to be judged. It's amazing how much easier it is to get help for something physical that can be easy to see, versus how hard it is to get REAL mental health care. I spent 10 hours waiting at an ER last month. My heart rate never got below 115bpm at any point they took vitals. I was left to sit, alone. A screener finally came in, didn't know what that even was before that day. You mean someone other than a doctor or even a nurse gets to decide how to treat my mental health crisis? Yup. I suffer from severe anxiety. When I'm not on medication, it can get hard to manage the simplest of tasks. My anxiety is usually centered around my health. See I'm terrified to die. My brain races with thoughts of why I'm feeling chest pains, or lightheaded, it must be a heart attack. I know the way I think in those moments isn't rational and has no logic. It doesn't matter how many times I tell myself it's just a panic attack, my body will not believe that. So my brain will find ways to cope, and when I was about 30 years old I started compulsively picking at my skin. Dermatillomania, Excoriation Disorder, aka Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors. I got sober from alcohol is 2011 and I guess not using that crutch kinda trigger the compulsion for me. I was able to over come it, and was in recovery for almost 3 years. We moved. I no longer had my kind doctor. I relapsed back into this compulsion again. I've isolated myself from the world because I'm too ashamed I've let this happen I don't even feel comfortable at home. I don't even want my husband and son to see me like this. My life has been a living hell since Christmas. What's even crazier than me though is that 1 out of 20 people suffer from Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors at some point in life, yet only 20% of those ever seek professional help. What's worse? You do go try to get help, people judge you because they haven't dealt with it before, an ignorantly assume I'm just some junkie piece of trash. I literally waited 10 hours in the ER to get a screener to bring me a piece of paper for a government run mental health "center" that wouldn't even be opened until the next morning. I was told they simply couldn't help me. I was talked to a total of 5 minutes the entire time I was there. I requested a patient advocate, and got my medical records, only to find the cruelest part of it all. They made sure to say they asked if I was suicidal, because some of the staff were "concerned" I was, but I denied it. I'm so fucking confused. I'm not sure how they think shit works, but people aren't going to fucking spill their guts to a total stranger within moments of meeting them. I mean WTF?? And in my case, I denied it because I really wasn't. I was still in a crisis situation that needed attention. Not only were they not concerned, I had my entire right arm wrapped so I wouldn't get crazy looks from the other patients, have them thinking they're going to catch whatever the hell is on my arms. They never asked one time to look underneath. I was actually shocked by that. I figured that would make them jump to the conclusion that I had self harmed. But hell, they didn't even check to see if any of the sores were infected after I told them I wrapped my arm because of this disorder. Everyone acts like they are about mental illness and raising awareness, but they only talk about it in regards to fucking gun control. Which has absolutely nothing to do with the problem. Why the hell does someone have to get to the point of wanting to die or kill someone else before people decide to take notice??? I know that wasn't the point for your song and video, per say. But I felt a connection with the pain I saw displayed. And we need more people to stand up for the right to quality mental health care for EVERYONE! So nobody may read this, but maybe one person will. If you are struggling, I'm with you. Let's help hold each other up. There is no reason to hide or feel weak. And if you don't suffer, be grateful for such a priceless gift. Pay it forward just by having an open heart, ears to REALLY listen, and love for your fellow brothers and sisters. Because even if you don't struggle with mental illness, someone you care about surely does. Treat everyone the way you would want your loved ones cared for. It's that simple. Much Love, Carrie

Amanda. I cannot fabricate any word to remotely describe how helpful you are.
Thank you.

I'm. I'm crying.

healing crying ...
unconditional LOVE & FREE HUGS for all of you!
Looking forward to concert september 6th in Berlin :-)

YES! This needed to be made! And exactly like this. Soooo real, soooo true, soooo helpful. It is a hard emotional experience and to talk about it is still a tabboo. THANK YOU!

Anybody know their landlord is going to enter their apartment that day or the next and you're only in your underwear and you wake up hours early because you don't want anyone to see you in your underwear?

I shouldn't take from it's oroginal meaning but it's my birthday and I relate to this song in a way. That's neither here nor there. Though I've never suffered this highly specific pain, good friends have. I used to hold little birthdays for the daughter of my friend with her. People.... they're worth celebrating and remembering. Even if their light is snuffed out far to soon to appreciate the glow, you still know the possibilty of how bright it would have shined. Celebrate it if you can. But a cake, flowers, balloons. I truly believe everyone matters. Or eles.... how do we make of these world? I hope to eventually show myself that same compassion.

No one's gonna help me hold her through her hell. No one's gonna help me through CPTSD. No one's gonna help me help her because nobody fucking cares if I live or die.

I've cried over and over at this video. I am a man. So I've never been pregnant or had an abortion or felt that stigma. But I have felt the loneliness of "don't get all emotional" and fuck you help me I want hugs just because I'm a man doesn't mean I don't need hugs hugs This is the reason men shoot people they aren't understood and hugged and loved. If I'm wrong fuck it. But I don't think I'm wrong. There needs to be a safe place where men can safely express themselves. Men (me included) can be scared to be included in such a thing, but it is necessary. Crying. Helping.

Her eyes are beautiful. Haunted. Pained. And beautiful.

This strikes a very similar note to those of us who have chosen not to have babies due to health reasons. So much of our identity as women is tied to our position as a mother and I've been struggling with finding value in myself after deciding not to go this route. I don't think I realized that until watching this.

Please give me a video where men sob.

Every time I watch this video I say "no". "No" for me has a ton of connotations. No I don't want to watch this. No I don't want Jill to hurt so much. No I don't want to cry. Any number of things. But I wish I were as comfortable with myself as Amanda is.

This made me bawl my eyes out, and I'm a man... ._. You never know what someone is going through. I hate when I hear about people, usually men who have never had to make this decision, harassing women who have had to make the hardest decision they will ever have to make.

Such an amazing song...if only she could have written some decent lyrics...Some of us get tired of hearing about people killing their babies, some people can not have babies, while others are suffocating them, killing teh gift of life that is growing inside of them...Other than that the flow, timing and piano are brilliant!

Only other singer that gives me goosebumps like Gord Downie.

I'm crying. Again. I'll be sharing this video.

Such talent!

I read about this song and then watched the video. It was moving but the sound was off for me so either it was crackling when I turned the volume up or I could only hear some of the words. 😞

Amanda’s brilliant, but I disagree with the message, big time. I was raised in a very pro-abortion home, but I am glad I didn’t end up aborting any of my kids. It was very hard to not have that happen when I come from a family that had many and supported it. But it was worth it. Some times things feel bad for a reason. Abortion is one of those things, if it’s used simply as birth control.

Brick of feels in the face.

This one is for the "Oasis in a Minor Key" fans. Beautiful song. As always you find the cracks.

I wish...
I wish had this song 25 years ago.

I never had anyone to talk to at the time of my experience. When my father found out he beat me. I ended up homeless. Thank you showing compassion when other people really don't.

I am compelled to respond, but I am unsure how.

(((((hugs)))))

Ok. This is maybe the 5th time I'm watching this. Let's see if I cry.

Yep, I cried.

This song is so, so powerful. Ms Palmer, each and every song I've ever heard from you has left an emotional impact on me, but this is the first one to make me break down and sob. Because I've been there, and I wish I'd been lucky enough to have a support group when I'd had an abortion. And I know that if I ever have the opportunity, I'll throw the best damn abortion shower ever for any of my friends. Or hell, I'll throw one for anyone who needs it, even if we'd only met that day. Thank you.

when she is walking alone, a true reflection of the moment just before.

your metrics works.

I've never experienced this but I hope to have kids later in life and I cried for all the women who go through this kind of pain. My heart goes out to you.

Thank you Amanda, I love you ♥️

Jill, it's Amanda, just waving from London
I know that you're going tomorrow, the hardest decision
And I've been on the side of the phone for a month
And I know you're in hell and you know that I know what you're feeling
Life's such a bitch, isn't it?
When you have a baby, they throw you a party
And then when you die they get together for a cry
But no one's gonna celebrate you
No one's gonna bring you cake
And no one's gonna shower you with flowers
The doctor won't congratulate you
No one on that pavement's gonna
Shout at you that your heart also matters
I'm not sure that you'll get this in time
I don't know if you're checking your voicemail at all
But in case it's the morning
And you're off at the green line and walking through Copley
I want you to stop for a second, I want you to listen
You don't need to offer the right explanation
You don't need to beg for redemption or ask for forgiveness
And you don't need a courtroom inside of your head
Where you're acting as judge and accused and defendant and witness
It's a strange grief but it's grief
Look at all the women in the street
You know the statistics, Jill
Even though they may not help
Isn't it amazing
How we can never tell
Who is in an identical hell
No one's gonna celebrate you
No one's gonna bring you cake
And no one's gonna shower you with flowers
The doctor won't congratulate you
No one on that pavement's gonna
Shout at you that your heart also matters
No one's gonna compliment you
No one's gonna nod their head
And wink in league with what you are pursuing
No one's gonna tie surprise balloons
Onto your desk at work
And no one's gonna ask you how you're doing
But I'll be back in Boston by next Thursday
Why don't I come over?
I can bring some friends if you want us to come
We can bring you cake and we can bring you flowers
We can bring you wine and we can talk for hours
Ukulele by request
We'll throw you the best
Abortion shower
Songwriters: Amanda Palmer

I'm a dude in the comments. Can Pixar sue? They told the same story and somehow even shorter. Anyway, I'm crying. If my wife can't have a baby, I'm dumping the bitch. . . Nah, she's too beautiful, we'll just adopt an Asian or something. She says I'm too young to think about it but I can't just help thinking of one day holding my daughter, (By the way, it's gonna be a girl).

I avoided this video (and song) for awhile now. It was hitting too close to home and I just couldn’t handle all the shit I’ve gone through that led up to my own abortion. Watching this forcefully regurgitated everything I wanted to suppress but it was also equally cleansing and created a path of incredible closure that was long overdue.

AFP you are able to bring words to thoughts and feelings that people lack the words to express. You are a treasure. you are loved (so loved) by this army of freaks, geeks, broken, bruised, brave, fearsome misfits.

Thank you.

came here from Tim Ferris's podcast and I just want to say that I unbelievably respect what you do after I listened to your story. I wish you the best luck in everything

Everything Amanda puts out is so touching

Oh fuck... 😭😭😭😭😭😭

This is sad in so many ways... the grief is there but what about mourning the life that was ended? No shower for the baby that was taken. I love your work but his truly broke my heart for "Jill" but even more so for the baby that had no voice, no chance and no shower.

A beautiful, sensitive song, from a woman, who really understands, the feelings of others.

I was Jill a decade ago, though I don't think I ever fully processed how I felt at the time. To all the present-day Jills out there: you are not alone, and you will be okay 💜

This is such a
Profoundly moving piece of music. So important that it is heard esp in the times we live in. Thank you Amanda 💚

Thank you for your music. You likely don't hear from many men....but we're out here listening, learning and appreciating.

I'm in a country where we still fight for our right over that decision. It's not an easy one to take, but the safety of having a clinic is already great. I love the song and I hope that many that have to go through the procedure in unsafe conditions feel the love 💚💚💚💚💚 #SeraLey #28M

I cried. Thank you. There are no words I can say right now... just thanks

Women deserve the world.

Powerful...

WOW.... I can't even put into words how I felt the 1st time I listened to this song. So if I had to pick one adjective I would have to say 🎶SOULFUL🎶
beyond words. I love ya AFP

And then she goes inside and kills her baby. That was a living child whose heart was beating! You will never know the love of a child, and you do clearly do not understand the true meaning of human life, and I feel sorry for you.

Here it goes. Pro life bullshit

ummm like... The song is in some ways a sort of schoolchild's romantic melancholic..... subtly lessening the horror vs, .... the giving of life, and perhaps, creation for the loving adoptive family...To reach for the helping, healing hands of meaning and bravery, responsibly and maturity, for the latter ... A lasting gift to oneself. It is Art... to look one way.... God's Love for it

BRUH MOMENT

There is no way I can reach you.

I apologize. I probably come across as a stalker. The reality is I'm an alcoholic, and I find myself seeking companionship in the hopeless recesses of YouTube. Obviously it's fruitless and useless and hopeless. And misguided. I've been to AA many times and am struggling to find connection. But I just wanted to say that I'm not well and that's why I've been writing these things.

I fully understand. My mother is almost a year sober now and I attend her AA meetings occasionally. They make me feel similar to how this song makes me feel. I was very lost when she was drinking and I understand that staying clean is incredibly difficult myself (I am addicted to self-harm). It's not fun, but at least we have each other.
I hope you are doing well.

I'm just gonna keep commenting and crying. Deal with it.

If only I knew, I would bring you cake and congratulate you for making the right and best choice for you.

Thank you so much for this song. Thankfully when I had mine my mother was by my side and my husband was supportive of the decision. Most women though are not showered with the love they so need in a times like these. People need to hear this song. Thank you so much!

Yup I'm sobbing again.

No. I don't want to sob again. Here goes. Let's see.

I support the decision of abortion some people just aren't ready for a baby, Etc..
Honestly this song just makes me not want to do it, and honestly never wanted to.

I love Amanda Palmer, I feel not so strange

I like the lyrics and I like the video, but there's no ...song. It's just background piano with a woman reading over it.

I saw her live in Boston last week and it was AMAZING.

I didn't know what this was about when I clicked, but I didn't get a minute in before I started sobbing.

<3 boston <3 lexington