milo - The Ballad Of Mermaid Man And Barnacle Boy Lyrics




Spelling friends with quotation marks make you look like an asshole
I'm half-man, half-rapper, half-tadpole
It depresses me I can use Google Maps to find your house
I swear to goodness the internet takes all the adventure out

Hi, it's your favorite spoken word deacon
I very well could've been one of the last of the Mohicans
The dude you never invited to your parties on the weekends
Who your favorite blogger nominated for loquacious public speaking
If a telephone is smart, then I no longer wanna be
Struggling to find a way to hold on to what's right in front of me
Hanging dusty hammocks in the attic to escape the racket
Retreating in to my mind, to forget the straight-jacket

I wonder if these other rappers spend too much time on AssHub
But I wish I was a merman so I could fall asleep in the bathtub
And I would never drown
And I would never drown

I wonder if these other rappers spend too much time on AssHub
But I wish I was a merman so I could fall asleep in the bathtub
And I would never drown
And I would never drown

I don't know anything about nothing, which is why I am master of everything
This is what you fail to see, a filthy mirage of simple
I'll sit under a fake tree while you worry about Nicki Minaj's nipples
Basking in my irrelevance, simply for the hell of it
I've got these ugly hands so it's impossible to give back-rubs
Since Rob passed it's hard not to be scared of flash-floods
I wonder if-

I wonder if these other rappers spend too much time on Asshub
But I wish I was a merman so I could fall asleep in the bathtub
And I would never drown
And I would never drown

I wonder if these other rappers spend too much time on Asshub
But I wish I was a merman so I could fall asleep in the bathtub
And I would never drown
And I would never drown

I'm far from the heroism of Christopher McCandless
Merely a young man taking these visions for granted
A notebook operates as a lined paper flask
Take a swig and then you pass
Writing rhymes during class
Maybe we should've given Milton his stapler back
These Wisconsin winters promulgate shivers to my pelvis
At a drive-in diner and I'm listening to Elvis
Holding palaver with Andy and wishing we were elvish
I'm sorry I'm so selfish
I'm sorry I'm so selfish

I wonder if these other rappers spend too much time on Asshub
But I wish I was a merman so I could fall asleep in the bathtub
And I would never drown
And I would never drown
I wonder if these other rappers spend too much time on Asshub
But I wish I was a merman so I could fall asleep in the bathtub





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milo The Ballad Of Mermaid Man And Barnacle Boy Comments
  1. Kid Christ

    Milo may have discovered an unbeknownst link between people that enjoy lyrical illuminations and enjoying baths.

  2. Red spike Ninja

    I have no idea if this is a joke song or not

    Red spike Ninja

    either way its complete garbage

  3. Jana Gottfriedova

    Milo! thanx !lovely to listen yo rhymes, melody! soundz to me like rhapsody*******

  4. Takkun

    Thank you

  5. Stef Stef

    RIP stephen hillenburg

  6. Francisco Cunha

    tbh i prefer milo when he isn't overintelectualizing his lyrics

  7. Mr Highguy

    today's society "if a telephone is smart, then i no longer wanna be" that one line broke a lot down

    Don Juan

    r/iam14andthisisdeep

  8. Barf Salamandruid

    Im falling for this hard.

    Lunchbox Locks

    I am so late to this party but I think I'm in love

  9. Lil Dynex

    Bro I listen to all your music it's dope keep going bro you will blow up soon

  10. Jay Jones

    This piece was phenomenonal... that took me on a long journey man. From one poet to another, mad props brotha. Keep doing shit like this, you've got soul man.
    -4moonjungle_lwa

  11. AHmusic

    Where can I get this album?

  12. Edgar Mirth

    I wish I was dead.

  13. shardae

    i like the guitar loops

  14. Meena

    That looks like a uterus

  15. Sawyer Croft

    what album/mixtape is this from?

    Maxim

    Sawyer Croft Its from Milo Takes Baths. All of these songs are him rapping over tracks by a band called Baths.

  16. aaron trapp

    this is the first milo song i heard. i still feel weird when I hear it.

    WakingDuck

    Same bro

  17. Einveru

    how the hell does he do it?

  18. Jonathan Ibanez

    One of the most symbolic and just beautifully put together songs. Keep it up man, you're gonna be big.

  19. geebs

    https://soundcloud.com/askgeebs/sets/blueboy

  20. Vulcan Princess

    I wish I was a mer[maid] so I could fall asleep in the bathtub. And I would never drown.

    And I would never drown.

  21. Miguel Alcantar

    id like to hang out with Milo.... character if I ever saw one

  22. Nicholas Payne

    Struggling to find a way to hold on to what's right in front of me

  23. Connor Reilly

    In my opinion, this is one of the greatest songs I have ever heard. Thumbs up to Milo! Keep it flowin

    Vulcan Princess

    +Connor Reilly I agree

  24. Jake Peterson

    WHAT THE FUCK. I'm a HUGE Baths fan and I just now found out about this.

  25. Milo Graham

    How have I only heard this now? 16 years without this

  26. nickbagelboy

    Milo, that's so dope that you mentioned Christopher Mccandless (R.I.P.) This is such a great song as well. "If telephones are smart, then I no longer want to be".........DAMN!!

    nickbagelboy

    @Sheela Gopal Whaaaaaaaat????

    James Avery

    +nickbagelboy stop!!! i see you everywhere lol

    nickbagelboy

    @James Avery LMFAO!! Are you the dude from the Atmosphere vid??!! :o 

    James Avery

    yea haha

    nickbagelboy

    @James Avery Hahahahahahhahaha fuckin' eh, buddy. How about you get away from ME?? ;) lmfao

  27. DIMWIT

    Sounds like astronaulis

  28. Clay Underearth

    SpongeBob reference

  29. Nathan Slinkard

    "I got these ugly hands, so it's impossible to give back rubs."

  30. Nathan Slinkard

    New favorite song. The most touching I've ever heard.

  31. molesticles

    ex ell ence

  32. PARLOR EXPRESS

    seriously the most touching song ive ever heard and got me through a tough time #MILO'SMOVEMENT

  33. JJNIII

    I've got these ugly hands so its impossible to give back rubs

  34. Sexhaie

    you make BATHS 10x better. kudos!

  35. Rplus1

    I love baths, have for years. This is pure lyrical legitimacy on top of one of my favorite tracks. win.

  36. Francisco Guzman

    THIS IS A "BATHS" INSTRUMENTAL NAMED "THE VAPORS".......THIS VERSION GIVE ME cancer.....

    Brad Webster

    Yes because this entire mixtape is Milo rapping over bath's beats. Thats why its called "Milo takes Baths"

    Leonardo Tomko

    "give me cancer" lol u so gay dude

    Sexhaie

    "cancer" reddit is calling you to come back.

    Vincent Brault

    You don't deserve to hear Milo. Go away.

  37. Symone Zandre

    i fall asleep to this

  38. grant93321

    god dammit i've listened to this 50 times it's so amazing. idk why the fuck i like Milo so much. I feel like such a hipster, but im seriously digging something in Milo's tracks that I've never felt before.

  39. grant93321

    thats dope. what does he smell like

  40. Brad Webster

    Does that make you Busdriver's nephew?

  41. Danielle Audet

    One of my favorites.

  42. Tony Villanueva

    this is fucking amazing

  43. Nedarb Nagrom

    TASK FORCE CHECKING IT TO EXTERMINATE THIS HATER

    Connor Frazer

    ned you fucking legend, I had no idea you worked with Milo that closely

  44. Rmarsh451

    cool, spiritual advisor!

  45. scott penob

    milo is open mike eagle's rap son.

  46. scott penob

    i am not milo. i am milo's roommate/booking dude/spiritual advisor/good friend. my name is nedarb nagrom. i run this channel. i run shit in general.

    Lunchbox Locks

    Okay Braden Morgan take it down a notch

    Kyle Horn

    Well youre the fucking man.

  47. LeekyChicken

    DUDE. i like this; thank you.

  48. Jacky Chan_

    Reminds me of James Phoney

  49. MadamLolz

    OH MY GOD IM HOOOKED!!!!YOUR A FUCKING GENIUS :.) THANK YOU!!!!! Your gift sent from the heavens... Your music keeps me at peace.... Im glad my teacher introduced me to you .... Thank you for this music you create! Your an original!!!!! Your like mogwaii mixed with kendrick lamar with a dash of radiohead I LOVE IT!!! YOU GOT MY FULL SUPPORT :,) .... Thank you THANK YOU!!! You dont understand .... How much it means to me .... Thank You

  50. Goon

    i think it is

  51. Rmarsh451

    your not milo? or are u?

  52. UselessKrust

    Milo is a lyrical god

  53. ThePhantomKing

    Why is this not an Adult Swim bump?

  54. Megan Nyhan

    Love this! I'm drawn in by the lyricism, beautiful metaphors, and the pure honesty in his voice. I'm so lucky to have been given the chance to listen to this under-recognized musical genius once, because that's all it took and I was hooked.

  55. SlyNinjaGaming

    I fav. This and im going to tell all of my friends about this song

  56. Mitch C

    old gregg ?

  57. Knyshya

    New favorite song.

  58. cindy baryla

    u are amzing !

  59. sulivanmagnum

    Rest in peace, Mermaid Man.

  60. taerichter

    I can't say that I have ever been a big fan of rap or hip hop, but this is just so insanely good that it doesn't even matter.

  61. EdEmKay

    beautiful.

  62. Gunnar Backman

    @Shydiggs21 I'm sure its a porn site or something lol

  63. Shydigga Music

    There other rappers spend too much time on what?

    Maxim

    J. Shydigga ass hub

  64. scott penob

    @kys125 no problem.

  65. charles mosley

    @PenobscotExpedition thankies

  66. scott penob

    @kys125 The Vapors

  67. charles mosley

    yo MILOOOOOOOO or dude who runs this channel... what is the name of this beat its the only baths beat i didnt recognize on this mixtape x.x anyway please respond

  68. Patrick Doyle

    Spongebob!

  69. George Johnson

    this guy is awesome

  70. Ryan Goldschmidt

    So far my favorite song on there