Midnight Beast, The - Pokemon (Parody) Lyrics

I wanna be the very best
No longer be ignored
I called in sick for work all week
It's not like that's against the law (actually it is... oh)

I will travel by any means
Bike or board or blades
Catching Pokemon on an iPhone app
Before my iPhone battery drains

Pokemon! I'm not a kid anymore
But I'd run in front of traffic for bulbasaur
Pokemon! Ohh and when I hatch an egg
I get fully blown erect

Pokemon I'd miss out on sex (miss out on sex)
To fill up my pokedex
Should I go out? Or should I stay in?
Playing Pokemon! Gotta catch em all!
And I don't know why!
Yeah

It's Friday night and all my friends
Are out there having drinks
I'm sitting in the McDonald's toilets
Because they have a gym

It's my grandads funeral
I heard a Pikachu is near
But I forgot to turn my volume down
And now everyone can hear
But they join in
Cause Pokemon Go is awesome!

Pokemon! I'm not a kid anymore
But I'd dangle off a building for Venosaur
Pokemon! Ohh and when I hatch an egg
I get fully blown erect

Pokemon! Imma fucking snap (fucking snap)
If I hatch another pidgey or rattata
Should I go out? Or should I stay in?
Playing Pokemon! Gotta catch em all!
I'm nearly 28!

I turn on my charmander
Pants come off
But I'd rather be jiggling with a jiggilipuff
Cause... Why not?
If this don't a-mew-se you den laters
I'll squirtle of the haters
If you Ash-furret
You best bel-eevee that Imma be famous
So keep ya meowth shut
You better seel it up
Cause there's no shaymin
Playin I just swanna have fun
Throwing pokeballs
But my mum says this life is onyx-ceptable

Pokemon! I'm not a kid anymore
But I'd leap out of a plane for ivysaur
Pokemon! Ohh and when I hatch an egg
I get fully blown erect

Pokemon! We'd eat our best friend Dru (best friend Dru)
If it would get us a Pikachu
Has my life really come to this?
Collecting things that don't exist
I can't feel my fingertips!
Playing Pokemon! Gotta catch em all!
Put them in my balls!
DIGIMON!
Wrong one
POKEMON!