Mac Lethal - A 13 Year Old Wrote This About His Depression Lyrics

Lately, I've been feelin' lost
Nowhere I can turn, all the lines are crossed
Everything's collapsin', I'm a pile of dust
I don't know what to do, there's no one I can trust
Not even friends, not even family
I don't have anybody but the creatures in my fantasies
And everything I do is making my life worse
I wanna cut my arms, 'cause happiness should hurt
But if I do that will it release the pain?
'Cause I can't stand the voices, that whisper in my brain
Or maybe I should throw myself in front of a train
So these tears won't fall like the rain

Because I'm drowning, I swear, I'm drowning
I'm drowning in emotions, I'm drowning in my tears
Drowning in anxiety, I'm drowning in my fears
And I don't wanna be here
Because I'm drowning, I swear, I'm drowning
I'm drowning in emotions, drowning in my tears
Drowning in anxiety and drowning in my fears
And I don't wanna be here
Because I'm drowning

And I just can't explain, the feeling of the pain
And I can't really tell if it is driving me insane
And if I can't do all that
What's the meaning of life and all the strength, that I gotta gain
I feel lost - I am lost
And if that isn't the truth, why am I not finding all the happiness that life should cost
I can't lie, I spent my whole life wishin' I could just die
And though I'm alive, I feel like I'm dead
Because of the misery that lives in my head

Because, because I'm drowning, I swear, I'm drowning
I'm drowning in emotions, drowning in my fears
Drowning in anxiety and drowning in my tears
And I don't wanna be here
Because I'm drowning, I swear, I'm drowning
Drowning in emotions, drowning in my tears
Drowning in anxiety and drowning in my fears
And I don't wanna be here

Ey, uh

Dear Jacob, I appreciate your email
I wanna be careful and consider every detail
It sounds like you're hurt, don't let the pain stop you
You might consider hirin' a therapist to talk to
It hurts my heart to hear you say you wanna cut yourself
I promise man, self-mutilation doesn't help
I know it feels like you wish, that you were someone else
But maybe you should take time to embrace and hug yourself
Seriously man, be nice to yourself
You're only 13 friend when I was 13 I remember wishing my life would end
But this ain't the end, you found the beginning
You're not frowning, you're grinning
And you're not drowning, you're swimming
I help you on the boat, as long as you promise me that you'll never lose hope
You're only 13, your whole life's in front of you
Change your attitude, and the world could change because of you

Love you, bro!

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Mac Lethal A 13 Year Old Wrote This About His Depression Comments
  1. AlphaFalcon 4

    Anyone else relate?

  2. RC stunts

    For you idiots that disliked depression is impossible to fully beat and us people with depression not a choice we NEED professional help I have nearly died because of depression

  3. Wzx _Luke_YT

    Im 10 and having sucidial thougts

  4. Lacey Jacques

    I loved Jacob's rap because i fell the same and I'm just a ten year old girl i don't trust people,family or friends so i fell the same Jacob p.s i hope jacob you don't fell depresd no one needs to fell it
    From someone like you Jacob me lacey

  5. Tantrum official

    This is a song about suicide... check it out...

  6. Gianini Losano

    What headphone use ?

  7. Cool handsome Thomas train

    Why the fuck is depression a thing

  8. Nevaeh Brown

    ^I mean for you to sing it...

  9. Nevaeh Brown

    Hi my name is Nevaeh I don’t know if I tell you on here but I am but I love watching you’re videos I suffer with depression, anxiety, and ADD, also a learning disability I know a lot, my friends have been really mean to me and I’m so nice to them even when that happens and it’s making my anxiety and depression worsts I need a song to boosts me up and maybe you can come up with one for me and sing it ilysm!!

  10. Amy Holbrook

    I feel like Jacob sometimes

  11. Little bunny

    Killing yourself doesnt end the pain, it just passes it onto someone else who loved you when you felt like the world hated you

  12. XxGamer_GirlxX

    I like this rap reminds me of my 8 year old self I fake a smile and this rap is my WHOLE life

  13. nitin bhalekar

    Awesome response!! love from India.♥️

  14. Alan Naga

    I felt that 🙃

  15. Nathaniel wheelden

    I cryed alot

  16. Jayden Tilley

    I wish the best

  17. Sophie McManus

    Brother ur not the only one that wants to step infront of a train I get bullied every day but my best friends are supporting me but if u want Jacob we can be friends

  18. Jordynn’s World

    Why am I depprsed and crying while watching this it’s Christmas Eve 2019 😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺😓😓

    pa yam

    Jordynn’s World you are not alone 😔

  19. Sergio Palacios

    He has guts people with depression and Anxiety won't say anything they will hide I'm 10 and have suicidal thoughts and depression and Anxiety I wanna do so bad ima hurt people if I die but I fake smile everything me crying every night my life is worthless and I'm in pain wanna put 10 shots in brain

  20. Toni Battaglia

    Stay strong jacob

  21. Miya luna

    I'm just like Jakob although I'm not 13, I'm 12😨 I feel like I'm drowning every day of my life, I know what Jakob's going through and imma tell him what my dad and step mom told me "Beleave in your self, and never give up on your hopes or dream, I love you kiddo, and please stop think about harming your self. Your family loves you and we're by your side every step of the way." Jakob please stop being so hard on your self😣 I was just like you, I got depression from my mother😧 she treated me like shit but I live with my nice caring father😌 FIND THE REAL YOU DEEP IN YOUR HEART, And I still have depression but I don't let it get the best of me😏

  22. Basma Mashary

    I started cutting because it helps me have control of pain I feel inside I have tried suicide 13 times but I failed I'm 13 right now I have been told that I'm a mistake I have anxiety and I'm depressed

  23. Ally Edits

    Woah that boy has a big talent in writing lyrics. And you, Mac, you really have a big heart for anyone who's struggling! ♥️

  24. TheFallen angel

    I’m 13 to I have anxiety and depression I got depression when I was 5 and this relates to me but I could never make a song about my sadness bc idk how to and the boy I think you said his name is Jacob he knows how it is life is never easy we all have to find that out and I might not know what he’s going through but all ik is that we might have hard lives and I want to end my life to and I’ve cut to and still want to just to everyone we all have a purpose and we might not know what it is but someday you will and even if you break while going through life it’s ok you’ll find happiness someday I might to idk but for now I’m still young so I’ll probably break I think we all will at one point and that’s what makes us stronger so as many heart breaks,cuts,suicidal thoughts, and even trying to kill yourself it not worth it unless it your time to go and it’s not my time to go bc I have tried and failed so I’m still here so that means I’m not ready even tho I feel no need to live and I’m saying all this bc everyone has some messed up lives even through their smiling there’s a broken heart in the dark and there a healed heart in the light bc that’s what ppl see they don’t see your hurt that’s why u say nothing bc ppl who can’t tell your suffering is never going to understand or be able to listen only the ppl who can see you suffer and your suffering will understand

  25. L O W S T T E M P T

    Lmao I was 11 when that happened

  26. MeirGaming

    Watch this kid get famous when he’s older

  27. excaliber

    Here come the edgey depressed 13 year olds

  28. Gacha in X

    We know this society is f*cked up when a 13 year old sends an email like this. Poor boy.

  29. Lisa And Mina Editz

    It’s sad how much people wanna die

  30. grass

    By the way, the response starts at 2:40

  31. Hello There

    Im like him. Im 14 years old and live in England. I dont think i can be helped. I know that my friends and family love me but life is meaningless, i may have my whole life ahead of me but whats the point. All humans are, are parasites on the earth and we are just born to plague it more and more. And i grow up just to repeat the cycle. I know there are good people not everyone is bad but what does it matter a few people care. And even if we try to help the earth i believe we are to far in this plague to help and should just let go. That is what i believe and no matter how many happy or cool things i have experienced i still think life is completely meaningless, feel free to try and change my mind

  32. ToxicFurs

    I wish he could do a rap of my life but ik hed never see it, these kids are so lucky they get to be noticed and I just wish I could be noticed but ik I never will be

  33. Galaxy gooo OMG

    I have depression and I do cut myself....

  34. Exudus Warlord666

    This actually made me cry. This song explains how I use to feel before finding help. I was diagnosed with bipolar, depression and more at 7 years old and hearing this left me speechless.

  35. pokehanzallah plays

    Lately i have been feeling lost no where i can turn all the lines are crossed. everything is collapsing I have no one to trust not friends not family i have no friends except my Imaginary friends. everything i do it makes my life worse i wanna cut my arms because happiness should hurt

  36. Kaonashi :D

    My cousin is named Jacob.... he was 13.... I’m pretty sure he’s depressed..

    Holy goodness, I have so many questions for him now.

  37. Connor Armitage

    Can anyone tell me Mac lethal email?

    Hello There

    [email protected]

    Connor Armitage

    Hello There thankyou so much

  38. Jay Povis

    😞👩And jacob i always thought i was alone but look there r people that love u ur family and iv been there befor and i still kinda am and be happy play with ur friends hangout with them be happy 👩😃

  39. Jay Povis

    I used to think like that until i wached this and im 12yold and i love ur response and ur right about everthing u said 😞👩

  40. Kalia Ramirez

    Feel like that

  41. Olive sama

    I usually don’t like rap, but this channel always gets me

  42. All Clapz

    Where do we email him to u want him to rap a song about my abusive dad can someone tell me

  43. Kharnes

    What the hell makes a 13 year old suicidal and depressed . That makes me worried.

  44. Michelle Lopez

    this is sad but i feel the same this song relates to me too

  45. proXY IceE

    Song starts at 0:48

  46. pokehanzallah plays

    100% me i am drowning

  47. GamingxxNerd21

    That hit me hard and I deal with the same thing

  48. Shdhbxtjcb Dongle

    How can I email you

  49. Eric H

    How in the hell does this have 1K dislikes ??? This is Mac rapping a song a 13yr old wrote about his personal demons and Mac giving his words of courage to live and fight.

  50. Kayleen Lavallee

    I completely understand how Jacob feels. It hurts...

  51. Gretchen Walters

    That's how I felt before I went to Brentwood

  52. Rotate_Mystic


  53. joey Grecco

    Hi mac lethal, if i want to give you something to rap about. Where would i send it? Ive been in real deep thought. And ive been throigh a lot. And if ny experiances are the same as other peoples, and to know there not alone, than im happy to share my story. What i have writen so far i tried to make it ryme the best i could.

  54. Random Person,

    This song relates to me. I don't cut myself or try to commit suicide but even if I look happy, most of the time it is like a mask. When I was younger I got bullied from kindergarten to the end of 4th grade until I moved away. Almost everyone in my classes back then called me fat and some even physically hurt me. So now I always believe that I am fat but it's so hard to lose weight, but I just turned 13 yesterday and I'm gonna keep looking forwards and barely ever look at my past, since there were so many nights I cried myself to sleep.

  55. Salvacion Buaron

    I feel the same for this person...

  56. OopsItzKiera X

    Now this is exactly like me!!!!!!!!

  57. Golden Eclipse

    Bro 😕😔😔👏👏👏

    New subscriber 😲😌👍💖💜💙💙

    Your words are so inspiring and so are his

  58. Lillian and Amia

    𝕎𝕙𝕪 𝕕𝕠 𝕀 𝕗𝕖𝕖𝕝 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕖𝕩𝕒𝕔𝕥 𝕤𝕒𝕞𝕖

  59. Lillian and Amia

    𝕊𝕒𝕞𝕖 𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖😊 𝕓𝕦𝕥 𝕕𝕖𝕖𝕡 𝕕𝕠𝕨𝕟😰😰😭😭😨😰

  60. Boba Tea

    Im to scared to tell my parents that I have anxiety and depression

    what do I do.. I don’t wanna act happy all the times rest of my life?

    Hnnyx tae

    Same here 😭

  61. Coop guy thingy

    Can you rap my song its called I love you and it's for my gf. Shes my favorite person in this world and she means so much to me but were in a long distance relationship and it's hard rn. If you could it would mean alot to me

  62. Red Rose

    I am kind of like him in a way because I have wanted to die to many times and my teacher made me want to kill myself. Yes you herd it right my teacher.

  63. Ninja Time

    This was amazing..

  64. Tayus Ike

    I wish you can make a rap for me one ever done that to me

  65. Tayus Ike

    Bro this is so me to be honest

  66. RC stunts

    I feel exactly like Jacob did somebody any advice I am scared of people because of my story

  67. death is just a friend deadlines are dreams

    It's funny how I'm 13 like Jacob....I suffer through the same things and some worse things.....Jacob, just know you aren't alone.
    Love, your gay and trans friend, Daniel ❤

  68. Justin Capo

    I know exactly how that boy feels i did the same self mutation I'm37 still going through the same crap! I just wish it would end!

  69. Tyreltheyo123 Townsend

    I LOVE YOUR FUC*ING videoossss

  70. thomas Ramos

    How do i email you

  71. Katie Larson

    Wow I feel that

  72. evans tv

    I sent an Email hopefully you get it

  73. Skye LaMountain

    Don't cut the frist is the harder it's getting easier then you find yourself unable to stop

  74. Callmehyung_xo

    I recently found a drawing I secretly drew when I was 12 years old (I'm 17 now) and it was a wrist with a slice on it with blood dripping from it. And some writing that I can't tell what it says. But this song.. This song makes me smile.

  75. Yikes Forever

    This kid has so much talent he should make more this literally brought me tears

  76. Silver Rose

    I can hear the potential writer in this kid.

  77. Kelsy Steldt

    This hits hard

  78. karmien 2007

    Also deal with these things and I'm turning 13 next year

  79. Jacob Ceballos

    Didn’t thinking he would actually rap to this

  80. Austin Scheeringa

    Bro goosebumps. That last lineeee

  81. Kaya Pivac-Kool

    Do u have insta?

  82. Holiest Ravioli

    Free replays:
    Start of video:
    Start of Jacob's rap
    Start of mac's rap:

  83. me me

    All i'm gonna say is that im suicidal and cut my arms, legs and stomache but nobody seems to notice because everyone hates me i'm a nobody and my family hates me! "Yay"

  84. Rain Kun

    Me too Jacob :(

  85. aggel cagel

    I am 13 too and I want to say that a lot of people in this age are depressed. But why?

  86. Akravu

    “The 13yr old”

  87. Izz Ferdi LB

    Man yours and his aren't the same

  88. Izz Ferdi LB

    He wrote deep

  89. RANDOM STUFF 314

    Can you write a rap to help my little brother understand cussing and violence is not the answer to the problems?

  90. Riya Wolf

    I’m here cause I relate

  91. XxgachanightwolfxX NighteolfxX

    His song is so true except for I do cut nd I am 11 and I know how I will end my life when I decide enough is enough...

  92. Alexander Conner

    To all the depressed people, here’s what you should live by

    1. You are worth more then you think
    2. You killing yourself passes on depression to family and friends
    3. You are loved ❤️
    4. Your friends would never be super happy again
    5. You would never know your full poetentials
    6. Your family members might feel guilt for doing something wrong
    7. You could scar someone for life
    8. Someone could kill there self if you did
    9. You would never get another life on this earth
    10. You would never enjoy the simple things in life ever again
    11. Don’t do drugs or alcohol
    12. You could never play anything with your friends again
    13 and final. Without you, no one will be the same

    You depressed people, stay strong, you are loved more then you think, and no, I spent time to write this, but for real, you’ll be alright,

  93. Threat X

    Made me cry

  94. Adar Bahdoon

    when you said your not drowning your swimming that hit me

  95. Kyle Hess

    I feel like Jacob

  96. Delphine Enzoe

    Help me I am like him

  97. Top10's Katie

    This made me sad cause I have both ax and depresstion...

  98. blixt_YT

    This kid is good at writeing lyrics, i mean i know how it feels to be depressed :/

  99. Mac Lethal

    Jacob, thank you for emailing me this incredible song today. I know you feel like you're down in the dumps and worth nothing right now, but man, the way you write poetry is top notch. If anything, I hope this makes you realize your calling as a writer. We need more writers like you to help us heal. Please feel better bro. -Mac

    Mark Boulnois

    Jacob I know what you're going through when I was young I had depression I have a mental disability a physical disability I was bullied my whole life because of it I'm 26 years old and I'm bullied even now I lost my biological sisters when I was very young i was very depressed because of it I felt alone I tried committing suicide twice once by hanging once by cutting my arm it only made things worse eventually I met a girl by the name of Rachel Netzel and she is the person who saved my life so if there's anything I can say it's to forget what is upsetting you and find that one thing that makes you whole and hang on to it for fear life

    Just some random cpu with a mustache

    Just gonna say, I know the guy that made this he was in a stream I was in and I pulled him aside to talk about things he was saying, mostly to do with suicide and such and we talked for a while, I think I really helped him but I haven’t really kept in contact and seeing this again ima try to get back in contact with him, seeing this I was proud he was able to express his emotions

    Mimi Da Wolf

    Why dose this freakishly remind me of my best friend Jacob




    Landon Chenault

    I have a song