Lynch, Stephen - Waiting Lyrics






It's out of my hands and all I can do is wait
It's the not knowing that has put me in this state
The minutes feel like hours the tension is too great
I've done my part so now it's in the hands of fate

Waiting for my AIDS test to come back
I shouldn't have fucked that prositute without a profylactic
Waiting for my AIDS test to come back
Regret is dripping from me like my semen down her crack
And now I wait

My nerves they have been frayed my pants they have been shat
I know the nurse will say it's time to have a chat
At least I never worry about getting fat
I should think positive, no wait I didn't say that

Waiting for my AIDS test to come back
I never should have blown that tranny in my Cadillac
Waiting for my AIDS test to come back
I just had to taste that sweet forbidden necter from his sack
And now I wait

Is it over will my jersey be retired?
Will my name stitched upon a quilt be required?
Did I make a differnce was my life inspired?
Will Denzel Washington defend me when I'm fired?

Waiting for my AIDS test to come back
Eating asshole shouldn't be an aphrodisiac
Waiting for my AIDS test to come back
If I'm clean I swear to God I'll stop shooting smack
Probably

Boys and girls don't be naive
Take it from your Uncle Steve
AIDS cares not whom it affects
Caught from unprotected sex
Sharing needles blood or spit
Or piss or semen even shit
From handshakes sneezes toilet seats
From monkey bites and uncooked meats
From dirty coins and dreadlocked hair
From certain children in daycare
Drinking water breathing air
I tell you AIDS is everywhere
Oh God I can't take anymore
I think I'll run right out that door
But wait the nurse comes straight away
Tell me what does my test say

I'm okay
I'm okay
It's just chlamydia





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Lynch, Stephen Waiting Comments
  1. m.... ....

    1:12 sending to my friend to just remounted his tranny. I mean if you're going to mount a tranny you manna make sure it's tight, right? It's better for all parties involved.

  2. u.... ....

    I actually heard this song on Pandora for the first time yesterday after leaving my AIDS test(I didn't come up positive thank god). Pandora has such funny timing, almost as if technology is spying on us. hmmmmmm

  3. m.... m....

    AM in hospital listenin to this and getting some weird ass looks lol and no I do NOT have aids I just find this FUNNY AS FUCK LOL

  4. M.... V....

    Love the Philadelphia reference hahaha!

  5. B.... H....

    I just found out some jackass might have given me aids thank god I have a sence of humor and if I'm clean this will most likely will become my anthem in honor of my stupidity

    B.... H....

    +Bob Hope I hope you're okay man.

    B.... H....

    @Hell Bunny i started walking around in the nude im dying of alcoholism and aids i decided to embrace it today or tomorrow im goona kill myself

    B.... H....

    +Bob Hope hah

    B.... H....

    well this is what happens when you commit fornication man ;/

    B.... H....

    well, is it a bad time to confront the irony of your last name? and if you're still alive I suggest spending time with family and at a church if you're religious.

  6. D.... M....

    you are some real shit bro . but I liked it...:)

  7. t.... s....

    Don't hate on people. some of us have a sick sence of humor. and thatets us be free

  8. L.... W....

    Before releasing every single song, he consults his wife. If she doesn't laugh, he doesn't release it. :)

    L.... W....

    And this is why love makes for bad business.


    Imagine all the funny songs that Stephen Lynch wrote that were never released simply because it did not meet the taste of one specific individual.

  9. S.... C....

    What if they played this song in a hospital waiting room lol

    S.... C....

    Sydney Curtner that's a terrible idea (do it 😹)

    S.... C....

    @Ginger Cat lord I would start singing. Especially the bit at the end.

  10. D.... M....

    Wait what? Clamedia!? :P lol

    D.... M....

    better then aids

    D.... M....

    +Austin LastName (ThePineAppleGamer) *slightly*

    D.... M....

    +Daniel Moreno Aye chlamydia is at least curable.

  11. b.... s....

    1:25 i cri evrytim i her dis pert

    b.... s....

    rip English

  12. T.... v....

    I go through this shit every day.

  13. K.... L....

    Every Stephen Lynch song can be described as "Wait for it....wait for it...wai-and there it is."  

    K.... L....

    lol XD so true

    K.... L....

    +Ken Lippert That's why we love him :)

    K.... L....

    +Ken Lippert "Lullaby" is the perfect one for that.

  14. S.... H....

    Dallas Buyer's Club reminded me of this song.

  15. M.... D....

    love the Philadelphia reference 

  16. A.... H....

    Come on, don't be ignorant. I've been in this situation before, what was worse was it was a blood test, so I had to wait about a week for the results (negative, of course). But after a relative of mine died a very slow and painful death to AIDS, it's scary shit, that's all I can say.

  17. H.... ....

    Philadelphia Story. Hanks played a gay man with terminal AIDS who was being discriminated against by his law firm.

  18. B.... ....

    10 people had sex with uncle Steve.

  19. D.... K....

    i dont get that ,, was denzel washington a layer in some kind of aids movie ???

  20. g.... ....

    this song is so sad....

  21. T.... C....

    They should play this at all the HIV clinics.

  22. J.... P....

    I don't remember that part.

  23. G.... G....

    DID HE SAY "SWEET FORBIDDEN NECTAR FROM HIS SACK"???????

    G.... G....

    Gabriel Gagnon yes he did

  24. p.... ....

    This song has a good message.

  25. M.... A....

    cause you are an idiot!

  26. c.... ....

    I just showed this song to my neighbor next door she don't speak English at all she thought it was a love song and said I was sweet in German hahahahahahah

  27. c.... ....

    This is fucking hilarious lmao

  28. M.... A....

    cause you are an idiot!

  29. P.... ....

    God I'm going to hell, cause I think this song is fucking funny

  30. s.... ....

    8 people were certain children in daycare

  31. M.... ....

    This is the only song he's made that really offended me...

  32. N.... M....

    da fuck? lol thats funny

  33. G.... ....

    @butchcastity did you listen to the end of the song? he clearly said it was JUST chlamydia

  34. N.... ....

    "As seen on"
    what the fuck.

  35. M.... S....

    @MrMayhem3k HEH HEH HEH

  36. A.... A....

    This is so funny . . .

  37. A.... B....

    I'm staying inside.

  38. S.... S....

    @Rasenshuriken90 because you mention it in your comment, so people look at it and laugh. Anyways if you are too stupid to understand, I am not wasting anymore time on you.

  39. R.... ....

    @Muscleadviceplzz If they liked the joke, why did they thumb-up my comment?

  40. S.... S....

    @Rasenshuriken90 because they liked the joke. NOT your stupidity.

  41. R.... ....

    @Muscleadviceplzz Well, I'm the one with 88 likes as of this post, so HA!

  42. S.... S....

    @Rasenshuriken90 jesus you are slow minded... 6 times.... That's just stupid. Sorry buddy.

  43. R.... A....

    Its just clamidia.....

  44. V.... �....

    XD I got the "think positive" joke immediately, before reading the comments.

  45. S.... ....

    6 peoples aids test came back positive

  46. A.... C....

    if im clean i will stop shooting smack...probably haha

  47. U.... ....

    @slo2type2u thanks 'cause i would've never gotten that! lol

  48. S.... ....

    This is the same chord progression as the Gerudo fortress in Ocarina of Time

  49. D.... ....

    This sounds kinda beautiful, actually... as long as you ignore the lyrics ;D

  50. L.... J....

    5 ppl are waiting for there test

  51. L.... ....

    oh comon a tranny

  52. V.... P....

    i think the highest rated comment is so much funnier with 69 likes. NOONE LIKE THAT SHIT

  53. B.... B....

    Hell is gonna be so fun with Stephen there....I cant wait!

  54. S.... C....

    @Rasenshuriken90 holy shit. i just got it. XD

  55. S.... ....

    i can't wait for me friend to see this when he gets on facebook, he had chlamydia

  56. k.... m....

    yehhhhh clamida

  57. G.... C....

    your my Hero im sure "im positive"

  58. C.... M....

    lmao i love u! i cant wait to see this bastard in 9 days :D

  59. B.... ....

    "If i'm clean I swear to God I will stop shooting smack... probably"

  60. G.... S....

    @Rasenshuriken90 After reading your comment, i finally got the 'think positive' joke.

  61. A.... R....

    @wingzero0721 Yeah, if you've never heard of RENT... lol

  62. D.... ....

    @H4ckSt0ck hehe... aids is still not somthing to joke about, your d*ck might explode in some chick (or guy for some wierd guys)

  63. D.... ....

    @Rasenshuriken90 i dont xD tell me?

  64. W.... ....

    This is probably my fav of the album. I keep re listening

  65. a.... ....

    Is that song based on some other song's melody? because it really remindes me of somthing and I can't recall what!

  66. W.... ....

    Its only what? I can't understand the last word he says :/

  67. A.... ....

    @migath I KNOW RIGHT! I'd do him all night long. xP

  68. k.... ....

    @Rasenshuriken90 Why did we thumb up the slow person? JK : )

  69. m.... ....

    Wierd song, but I really like the rythm! And he's so cute.

  70. E.... ....

    lmao its only CHLAMYDIA lol

  71. J.... A....

    Wow.

    I'm a Lynch fan but my jaw dropped at this.

  72. S.... ....

    And I just got it because of your comment.

  73. P.... R....

    Yeah, same, at that is the genius of Stephen Lynch. You can listen to a song multiple times and still laugh at jokes you're just getting after so many times.

  74. M.... E....

    haha funny

  75. R.... ....

    After the 6th time listening, I finally got the 'think positive' joke.

  76. j.... w....

    Dreadlocked hair

  77. R.... P....

    Where did you sit? We were far away but it was spur of the moment last minute why the fuck not lol but it was funny as all hell

  78. D.... ....

    ya he put on a great show

  79. R.... P....

    yeah lol he was hilarious!

  80. D.... ....

    I WAS AT THE SAME SHOW at the filmore right?

  81. R.... P....

    Me too lol in Detroit

  82. v.... ....

    Oh wow, what a gem! I never knew he did this, I shat mypants aswell ^_^! Magnificent!

  83. H.... ....

    From certain children in day care.

  84. M.... ....

    My brother went that night, and he thought it was awesome!! He flew from the UK to go, and he said it was totally worth it!

  85. J.... ....

    these songs are a lot different than his older ones

  86. k.... ....

    omfg lol .

  87. D.... ....

    i agree with that up to a point. sometimes the fucking crowd is so loud you can't even hear the song, which sucks, but the songs really need to be punctuated by the laughter to have their full effect.

  88. b.... ....

    the violin makes it even more hilarious.

  89. N.... I....

    FFS he was in the netherlands last year, i didn`t notice that, now i`ll have to wait forever till he comes back! :(
    he is so freaking genius

  90. e.... ....

    hell no three balloons is funny

  91. i.... ....

    this is without a doubt his best song

  92. K.... ....

    from him telling us that his new album was going to be studio recorded i was aprehensive. he had one a while ago, think it was a little bit special, ant remember. but it was no where as near as good as his live stuff. Howevre, this album is very good, the use of extra instruments is good and adds to the song, but it's dissapointing not to hear a crowd

    thanks for posting his album

  93. E.... ....

    and the way he interacts with the crowd too (super hero)

  94. T.... H....

    hahah im ok its just clymedia

  95. R.... R....

    I'm all good for studio albums and what not..
    But I think Lynch should stick to Live Albums.
    It reminds me that he actually CAN sing...
    plus I love hearing the crowd's reactions :D

  96. N.... M....

    lol, I should think positive. Wait, I didn't say that.

    Ahh! He breaks walls down.