Lynch, Stephen - Lullaby (The Divorce Song) Lyrics

so I discovered Stephen Lynch waaay back when! I was in a chatroom. remember chatrooms oldies? and someone threw on the comedy central version of this. I knew nothing of Stephen Lynch so I heard this incredibly beautiful song come on and I was waiting for it to bring me to tears it was so pretty. then it kicked in and I lost my shit at my computer! he's been my favorite comedy singer ever since and he's only got better! he has a new song out called summer song!

😂😜

Wtf is this 🤮

How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb




None they’ll just sit in the corner in the dark and cry

Visits his bookie and steals a new car

Son of a bitch deserves to be a household name and it really pisses me off that he's not

I like how he says bookie

Mommies a hooker and drinks lots of beer when Daddy asks for love she just disappears mommy thinks attention is better than love. That's why she was killed by that truck.

It burns really bad when dad has to pee
Dad got violent when mom refused sodomy
Mom is a good girl, but daddy's a huss
Baby, that is why mommy left us

my dad sang this to me when i was a baby i always fell asleep

Utter filth. I love it.

This song makes me wanna kms lol #emolife.

dude is awesome

Hello, I am a wannabe song writer and comedian and I love to write song parody's. Rucka Rucka Ali, The lonely Island, Bo Burnham, The key of awesome, nerd out, stephen lynch and many other youtubers have inspired me. Now I know I can't sing and thought to my self it's worth a shot at chasing one of my dreams and to release one of my parody's. Please check out my first song parody here on youtube by the name of I'm a paedo. Thank you.

brilliant

please w a jeious

Bring you home a new mommy tonight! Die daddy die daddy!

Daddy is here! So creepy! Grin!

Hilarious !!!

This made me cry (because of a divorce my parents had) but the lyrics are so funny (because of the sexual lyrics). Stephen Lynch is a great comedian.

One of the best songs I've heard in my life!!
Love it! :)

Who's watching in 4051

My question is how did he get custerty of the child

Dear Mr. Lynch
I am 37 years old and I can not tell you the comfort your song has given me. Maybe that's wrong but it's the truth. My father divorced my mom when I was 4 and i remember my father telling me "I have to go out to night to find you a new mommy" needless to say I was raised by my nanny

You stayed with your dad as well?

My young daughter was sitting next to me at the library one day, watching YouTube videos (Hannah Montana, etc) when I suddenly heard beautiful music coming from her headphones. When I asked her what she was listening to, she said it was a lullaby. Then I heard, "Cause Daddy likes porno and ten-dollar whores" and I snatched the headphones off of her head. I have to admit that I laughed my head off, but from then on I paid a lot more attention to what she listened to on YouTube. She is 20 years old now, and we still laugh about this song. Very creative lyrics. When someone espouses the idea that couples should stay together no matter what, I play this song for them and tell them that sometimes divorce is better.

I remember my mom told me to stop the song bcuz it wasn’t a good song when I was 10. Me at 16, now I know why, childhood ruined.

when I'm having a tough day at work I sing his song to myself and I feel better.

this is really offensive I have my mom my dad are divorced and I thought this is a song about divorcement that actually helped my solution so you didn't help at all stupid song person

KITTY LOVER if you don’t like comedy maybe don’t look for it... just a thought ❄️❄️❄️❄️

you don't own this why are you making money off of it

what's hilarious is that he and his wife are still married.

he's good but hes not a real navy seal.

Lullaby ( The divorce song ) By: Stephen Lynch

Does this exist without Adam Sandler's early career on CD and SNL?

I came back from the dead to give you this L

my daughter in-law and my grand daughter turned me on to this comedian and he has saved the day. I get out of my own head and mental state of mind​ that can get dangerous for me at times. Thank you special ladies Myriah and Miranda. and of course to my new favorite comedian Are PO hen Lynch. once again you have saved my day

hahahahahHaaa its been years since ive heard this and i still love it.

why would I subscribe?

thats my Song

The Mother in this song isn't that much of a better person, or at least of a parent. I mean, leaving the hypothetical guy in this song? Perfectly reasonable. Leaving your child with him? Plain wrong.

Actually, she's worse. He at least is still trying to take care of her. That concept has always made the song twice as funny to me.

It’s PLANE wrong

Youtube makes it difficult to enjoy this song and raise my newborn.

His wife must have left him with Bob. Hope she likes Hawaii!

give her the mad cow disease, make him die of the plague.

Genius+Comedian=Stephen Lynch

I like to consider him a god, a god of comedy

My dad still sings this to me before bed. I'm 24. I don't love him. I live in Arizona. He lives in South Dakota. He drives every night. Someone call help. Please.

Are you ok?

what the fuck are you talking about.

Ilovemusicnbabes do you need an adult?

That an impossible drive. >[ As someone who has driven across the country I am offended that you would make a joke about a drive like that.



lel.

Saw him in Birmingham a few years ago. Halfway through the gig some old bat went up to the stage and lifted up her shirt at him. Ew.

+kelman727 occupational hazard

its all sad then the chorus lol

He has a calm voice, and i want him to sing me my bedtime song.

Specifically this one XD

+LιlurαΑrτs σωσ Yeah!

You might not want that lmao

man, stephen lynch is just revolutionary. Lynch & Teich 2016

sodapoppin

thats all.

1 Million views, isn't he amazing?!

Now for one with lyrics.

Who needs lyrics, I know them by heart, for almost all his songs, they're easy to remember!

he might be a special ed

You said it bro

What a great job. wish I was smart and talented!

genius! :D

I think I remember him from the bus

Fuck yea 😂

The fact that no one has shot him for some of his songs is kind of surprising. I'm a little ashamed that I find his music funny

Everyone, read the top few comments. I said there are unstable people out there. I didn't say I wanted him dead, or most people who get pissed would shoot someone, I'm saying there are assholes out there who will take things the wrong way and do horrible shit. What did Christina Grimmie do wrong? Nothing, an unstable individual was in love with her and killed them both. Much easier to believe someone would kill someone they hate rather someone they love

why would you be ashamed? he makes a living saying shocking things and his fun loving, non-hateful attitude is the reason people love his songs, they know he's joking. That's why he doesn't get booed from the crowd. And daniel tosh and anthony jeselnik are far more offensive and popular and nobody has ever shot at them

i've always wanted to cover this song at an open mic randomly but i'm too much of a coward lol

Hey? Laughter is the best medicine! It seems that we as a country have lost our sense of humor, Laugh and love!

You’re ashamed and we completely understand, why we’ll never want to hug again or even hold your hand.....

Fucking brilliant this guy...

You're so unbelievably AWESOME!

sounds like my dad

OMG who doesnt love stephen Lynch   hes to funny  love this  song   with them showing him singing it  is so much  funnier if you dont love him you have no sense of humor Stephen  you are awesome i love you keep  up the good   work

\mm/ Love it!

as twisted as it all is, there is something uplifting about this song, especially the end

He'll bring home your new mommy tonight!!!!!!

@Joonsoo Kang 
_Agree with you jonsoo! The techniques of that program are so simple that_
_any woman can use them to get astonishing results shockingly in_
_a little time. Just imagine girl what will happen when he calls you_
_begging you to get back together._

Anyway, you interchange the site name. The correct one is this:
SavingMyExLover.blogspot.com
just click on the link
=D

If you need to get through a divorce or breakup sing along to Cee Lo Green Divorce Song "Fu*k You" at http://youtu.be/Vz24Ro1DaGk

I first heard this song while driving and nearly ran into a divider. I'm still laughing.

Just let one of my friends listen to this song, first response in the beginning dude are you gay (intro) then words start and he is a loss of words just cant stop laughing. One of my favorites from Stephen Lynch.

This song reminds me of me....

Yeah it's a parody song. But it contains so much truth about emotions felt by people who break up or are being left alone.
On the other hand it's funny and witty which is great.
 Albeit, ''Soon it will all be like it was before" hits me SO so fucking hard'' We romanticize our memories of course, but I know there are some people here that would gladly come back including me - just for the sake of nostalgia, just for 10 minutes.

Fuck I'm tearing up again...  

Daddy likes to rub against little boys on the bus? Awesome song...... Not

Is it because he's gay or because he's a paedophile? Either way, you're prejudice. Shame on you.

@krunalat yup because we should totally accept the people who like having sex with children. Just like it's completely fine to have sex with animals because they totally know what's going on and aren't afraid at all.

Exactly!

@krunalat don't tell them it's a joke

no its not funny i found it and it said ( DIVORCE) i was looking for a song to cheer me up but no you had to go and make that maybe if your mom and dad got in a divorce i dont think you would have went out and made that thank you thank you soooo fucking much :/

Beautiful song.... then the chorus starts... and i can't stop laughing.

Without a doubt, THE best song to introduce people to Stephen Lynch.

@cockshield or special olympics

@cockshield Or The Ballad of Scarface ;) 

D. Butler It’s hilarious.

XD he likes rubbing little boys on the bus?

Mommy wants oral, but Daddy won’t try.
Daddy refuses to eat at the Y
Daddy says mommy’s orgasms take too much fuss.
I think that’s why mommy left us.

Mommy's a hoe then

Other James Doyle wtf?

Absolutely perfect for this song

just like mommy... daddy is already singing about how huge of an asshole he's been in really big ways. and she has to throw something out there to make it about her even though it's already about her.. lol

it's a fucking classic, keep it up Stephen...

Happy Father's Day.  Rhumours from my ex, sung by Stephen Lynch..  Enjoy.

How is it possible that he ended up with custody.

He did say before ugly baby that he doesn’t even know where his daughter is.....

Bribes were accepted.

The mother was a Nazi remember?

Liek dis if u cry evry time.

deadbeaj [under construction] no

I cried and laughed at the same time. These lyrics made me laugh really hard. I cried that the girl is going through the divorce. Stephen Lynch is a legend there!

oh i written it wrong its fine shut up stephen

i hate i cryed and this funny things came oh om so angey

Hahahaha!!!

Haven't heard this song in a long time.

I think she just left because she couldn't stand him anymore 😂

This comment was 5 years ago re listen

If i'm correct, he left her cause she's a neo nazi

yaas!💞💞💞

yaas!💞💞💞

You're absolutely right!!!!

Lmfao, soooooo funny!

Breaking Bad version

Cause daddy cooks meth and his lungs are polluted
He says it's for you but that seems convoluted
Daddy blew up Gus and killed Mike so we could be rich
It's not my fault your Mommys a bitch

There is only 1 daughter though, so it was the good looking baby they kept.

It was probably the ugly baby

it seems like you know how that would go hmm...have you been breaking bad?

Who are you talking to?

women, amirite?

I literally crying by laugh. This guy is evil :D

He's funny he's cute...he's Satan Lol

best comment on youtube ^^ LOL

The song's called 'Talk to me' watch?v=kWtYJhDBO84
That particular part comes up around 1:25 : )

Sweet delicious blasphemy.

It is either Talk to me - Stephen Lynch or Caught Me - Stephen Lynch. They are both the same songs just two different names on youtube :P

That was the point.

caught me, is the song name

Does anyone know the one where he says I wouldn't use that tissue it has already been hagged i can't remember anyone know

no.. its a comedy song.. its supposed to contain jokes. if you read the beginning of my comment again you'll see that it say "i think he missed his calling" as in he is very good at the comedy song, but had he gone a different direction he could have written some of the most touching songs we'd likely have heard in a long time.

Derp. Thats the point of the song. Hes a comedian. Was this supposed to be a touching loving song between a father and daughter while the audience sits and waits for the jokes to start?

i love Stephen Lynch, but i think he missed his calling. this starts off so beautiful, and the the potential to be so meaningful. but then (as much as i find it funny) degenerates into toilet humour.

Blasphemy