Lynch, Stephen - Down At The Old Pub Instead Lyrics
Lad, it's your duty to find ye a lass
With child-bearing hips and a pink, supple ass
And make her your wife, and love her with love so true
Now some rivers run high, some rivers run low
When her river runs red and shes starting her flow
You will notice her bloomers are spotty at first
Stand back, her ovarian dam's gonna burst
Son, don't be afraid, it's a natural thing
Just wad up some cotton and hand her some string
Put the old linens on top of the bed
Get out of the house and go down to the old pub instead
She'll retain her water, her breasts'll be tender
And every third word that you say will offend her
And she'll want to make love, if you do you're a fool
'Cause you'll only end up with a bloody O'Toole
Get out of the house, down to the old pub instead
And she'll want you to sample the fruit of her loins
But son, it'll taste like some old rusty coins
So turn off the lights, boy, and take off your hat
And drop to your knees, say a prayer to Saint Pat
That he'll give you the strength to get out of bed
Now the pub is the place where the lads are a'meeting
When the moon's full and the gals are a'bleeding
The catholic, the protestants, even the pagan
The pub is the place when your lady is raggin'
So drink up your pint, boys, and thank your shamrocks
That as menfolk we don't have'ta bleed from our cocks
And that we can escape from the lady in red
And get out of the house and go down to the old pub instead
Other Lyrics by Artist
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- Lynch, Stephen - Dear Diary 2
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- Lynch, Stephen - A History Lesson
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Rand Lyrics
Lynch, Stephen Down At The Old Pub Instead Comments
I showed this to my wife, she didn't think it was funny.
Maybe I shouldn't have day 1 of her cycle...
Idk why this song popped into my head after 4 years.
.
Someone will get it eventually
I miss THIS Stephen,
Lot of nasty people in these comments 😂
Happy St. Paddy's Day everybody!
Rusty coins! 😂 😳😳😳☘
oh god the fake Irish accent is cringy
Played this in guitar class when everyone had to perform something. Everybody was dying of laughter.
2018 were y'all at💯🔥
Ok so my kids are now old enough to listen to this song......nothing like seeing a teen turn bright red......really both the teens in my house did. My daughter because she was embarrassed by it and my son cause he was laughing so hard.
Why almost every comment has an anime profile
Well huh you girls have it rough lol
I hate this, this is defiantly not an old Irish song
I wonder if this topic will be relevant in some form for the new female Doctor.
Fuck redical femis em' i right ?
Yes they are very funny
I'm on ma period rite now... fuck
I once played this on the way to a field trip. while we were driving, two girls kicked the shit out of me. it was worth it. oh so worth it.
dreyvinnash there's a good lad!
Kick those feminists back for not having a sense of humour. That’s what I’d do. They’re probably carpet munchers anyway.
Job well done
This is epic. If you're looking for some more funny comedy, we'd love if you would stop over to our channel and check out our song 'Sorry'.
I sung this and im coverd in period {sang infront of a bunch of girls} I mean blodd
DA GRUBKILLA
He warned you not to sample the fruit of her loins
I really like his voice.
Menstruation jokes aren't funny, period.
Maybe your raggin bitch
🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴.......no, they aren't funny, they are bloody and smelly as f***.😶
stfu and get out
*rimshot
Absolute mad lad
I seen some people say "periods hurt? Try getting kicked in the balls!" Well sweetcheeks, try having that feeling for 3-6 days (Ik some are longer) NONSTOP, EVERY FREAKING MONTH from the time you're about 13 til you're about 55. Again I know some start sooner/later and end sooner/later than that. So until you boys can deal with that for most of your lives and still have to look good and not the complete crap you feel, jus shut it
Women have to deal with periods for long period of time. Men have to have the weak spot for ever. My point is periods happen more often than a metal pole to the balls.( I had a metal pole to the balls). So it balances out. Women feel pain for whatever many years and guys keep the weak spot forever.
Some birth control stop menstration...
Have you ever gotten kicked in the balls to make a fair comparison?
Now menstruation probably hurts. But I doubt it's as incapacitating as physical injury.
Except you don't know what it feels like to be kicked in the balls. Imagine being whacked 9-10 times with an iron golfing club and praying that the pain will stop, but it doesn't until roughly a week later. A hard tap on the testicles can incapacitate a man for a few minutes, a hard kick (meaning an actual assault with conviction) will do it for much, much longer.
But what do I know? I actually have testicles, and I've never saw my sister or mother fall on the floor from a menstruation cycle, "sweetcheeks." Fucking dumbass, lol.
Sounds like Theresa's on her period...
They need to play this in sex education class
In my school they did a edited version
My teacher just played this
How appropriate that I could be the 69th like. Very true song
something tells me that this is an Irish song about the protagonist's wife going through their periods
Oh? Whatever tipped you off?
every third word would offend her
I'm fem but this is still funny as shit XD
Uggghhhhh
Uggghhhhh really......
that feely feel when a song makes you feel some sort of feel you have never felt before....its sort of a mix between happy and another thing
my brother and i sing this on the way to school in the morning😀 Our mom bout died of laughter. 😆😅.
@The Commissar ew
@Gem Diamondgirl76 "ew" what? You've piqued my interest.
He’s a plastic paddy this isn’t an old Irish song because
#1 he uses the word menstration
#2 he says saint patty, it’s saint paDDy
#3 an old Irish song would be... IN IRISH
@Finnian Mannix #1 it's a joke song
#2 you take shit to literal
#3 piss off
Shingo Shoji fuck😂😂
Weapons are not fine wines. They do not get better with age. The colored dot on the lower right-hand corner of the screen shows you what kind of condition your current weapon is in. Green is good, red is bad
Laloriaran Dynar
Are you sure you were on the right video?
I don't think girls want to see green down there....
Happy Saint Patrick's day everybody!
Well. THAT'S not one of the songs my Irish-American grandmother ever sang to me.
One way to get guys down to the ol pub-
True story
15 people has periods
Make that 16 (me) but this is hilarious
Neon Dagger nah its 50
When I'm on my cycle people need to stay away from me. Because I will throw them to a wall watch them bleed to death and scream "HOW DO YOU LIKE BLEEDING?!?" I love this song, just go to the pub, avoid death....
hahahahaha.. omg...
sorry, but i had to
@Ger Unkwon your profile pic looks epic.
Showed this to my girlfriend... Huge Success...
@Wolflore Schrödinger Showed mine, she laughed. =)
not funny
+Triston Charge so not funny
Whos Patty? you're all saying it wrong... Its Paddy
@***** you mean christopher eccleston.
it's fine. not many people like to go beyond face value of many things.
@***** i took a closer look its eminem
@MrBikerJesus I Didnt mean it towards the holiday, i ment when americans say paddy, they pronounce it patty
You're clearly not Irish XD
my girlfriend hates it when I blast this song during out arguments when she is on her period XD
You have no idea how hard I just laughed xD
+PheonixArmy so not funny
"And every third word will offend er"
flaretheunknown you are a genius my friend
979 dads watched this and said YOU SIR ARE A FUCKING GENIUS.
8 lady's listened to this song.
I like this song and I'm female :P It's become a code with my friend now xD I just tell him to go to the pub and he gets it without awkward explanations to my mushy emotional state xD
@Rebekah Rawlings Does he go to the pub? Or does he sample the fruit of your loins. Hahaha, had to.
Haha clever I see what you did there.
Haha, nah its just a code word, he does neither xD Plus who wants the taste of some old rusty coins xD
Best song ever
you mean 6 ha! now i updated you!
i was locked up in the room with her so i had too
Oh. my god. I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Oh man.
5 people. You have been updated, hey I liked it lol.
im sure were all here cuz of that
ill never be able to enjoy a cup of kool aid again (T^T)
and dont forget strawberry jam! :3
How the fuck did r/lolicons get me here wtf?
"HELL YEAH!"
i was laughing so hard when i herd this song that i couldnt breathe
u sonofabitch
/watch?v=nyn0DQ_VWhA
Thank me later
RHEGROTE AGAIN LIKE FUCKIN CRAIG SAYING ONCE MORE WHEN THE LOVELY LASSIE'S ON THE BLOODY CUNT RAG I'LL BE FUCKIN CRAIG TRYING TO GET MY BIG LOW MIDDLE MEAT FINGER BUTTERED WITH A CLEAN GIRL AT THE OLD PUB INSTEAD FUCKIN CRAIG CHRIST. THANKYOU STEVE SIN LYNCH.
I have no words for this song.
HEY THIS FUCKER MUST CARRY A SHIT PACKED BROWNIE TURD IN HIS PANTS LIKE I DO ! HE'S FUCKING KOOL. AND WHEN THE LOVELY IS ON THE CUNT RAG, WELL I'LL BE DOWN AT THE PUB TRYING TO FUCK ME A FEW LASSIES THAT'S NOT ON THE BLOODY CUNT RAG. SINCERELY: KING ARTHUR CHUCK. [email protected]
I agree with my 5 year old self again, girls are icky :P
Only the good ones.
This man is wise.
I'm here because I told my boyfriend I needed womanly products
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING
do people have no shame
this is greatest and most passionate song i have ever heard
Glad i'm not the only one who decided to look this up after the anime video. ._.
Was it the one from Umineko where Ange Ushiromiya is bleeding (I tried to find the video myself but I reckon it was taken down)
thx alot
I have my period right now and I still liked it :P
Umineko no Naku Koro ni
haha.. Same!! so you guys searched for it cause of that vid aswell?
whats the anime name please
next time aunt flo is about to visit, and i'm PMSing, I shall say "stand back - my ovarian dam's gonna burst!"
now I get it
what joke???
sorry ... but i had to .
two more days.
same which one
Oh, thanks. I'm sure no one could understand that joke since the fourth person disliked it.
4 people
Four people have boxes that taste like rusty coins!
looked this up cuz of anime
Sorry. But I had to.
I'm sorry, but I had to......Find out who sings this song.
get them some cranberry juice
Hey I'm a musician from Montana who does rock and comedy, and also does stand up. I'd love for yalls to come check out some of my stuff /watch?v=dgYvX0GyMRo
Ofcourse, you and your imaginary friends. :)) Sad little fail troooooll !
I think he/she's trolling
I lost it at "Rusty Coins" XD
You do actually know what algebra is right?
Are you like 10 years old?? Your grammar sucks ass and you can't even make good comebacks. Just stop before you embarrass yourself any further.
I have got to stop clicking on every link my sister sends me... -.-
it was called sorry but i had to ^_^ ! ! ! ! !
and thats what you say haha dont make me laugh, i know you got nothing better to do in your life cus you reply so since you wont admit it, its fine to be like you, we all know what you are.