Lynch, Stephen - Bowling Song Lyrics

The problem with this song is two things:

1: Like others said, the faster tempo works far better than the original.
2: It's actually got a bad-ass hook and chorus... not so much funny as it is just awesome to shout along to and rock out.

Wish there was a good live video track for this somewhere...

P.S. RIP O&A Show. Miss that shit every day.

"You fuckin asked for it"

Tenacious D 2

I actually love this song

It's like Alice in Chains, only ...not.

Love it.

Wow
Lit that guitar up lol

its kinda weird listening to this since my name is malachy lol

Hey Niko. Its your Cousin.

Oh god not Roman 😞🔫

hahaha, I work at a bowling ally, I'm going to play this over the speakers at night....

Well, did you do it yet? Now _that_ is some shit I wanna see on youtube!

How'd it go?

Freakin' love it!

You fucking bowling song!!

fuckin metal!

love this damn song so much.

Love it..!

Opie and Anthony are cunts.

if he has a favorite ball sack does that mean he has multiple sacks

+zach ousley Well, he only has one ball so..

does that mean he can choose between two sacks, irl he has 2 but he thought it would be a fun song

+zach ousley

It's a double entendre. You don't have to have multiple of something to think of an individual object as your favorite.

As we know from his other work, he only has one nut so.....

As a bowler I find this great

Kristian Pardy same

Besides comedy what genre of music is this

+Haris Djuzic I'd say so t oo.

+jordan martin Acoustic Rock, I guess

O &A are two no talent radio hacks. Not because they didn't like your song because I don't think it's very good either..... they just are.

Song begins at:
1:23

"Almighty Malachi , Professional Bowling God" is gonna be my new name when I go bowling now. I think I can fit "Almighty Malachi" on the name screen :P.

YES! Thank you, I'll remember that!

It sounds like Ed Kowalczyk from Live

Its not that bad of a song

The original's still on youtube. It's... pretty bad slow.

Well, it's a bit boring but I can't see why it should be hated on. 

Im almighty malachi

I absolutely fucking love this song! It's definitely one of Stephen's best IMO.

I agree

The issue was probably the fact that he played it slower the first time.  It is much better sounding at a fast speed like this.

My thoughts exactly

Indeed this version is way better

The actual problem is that the lyrical content wasn’t funny. O&A even admitted that the song works melodically, but Lynch’s whole thing is that he makes *comedy* songs.

I think it's more conceptually funny than lyrically funny. Just a guy so confident and arrogant and full of himself but his thing is bowling nothing socially epic or revered like a major sports athlete. It's funny a guy like that calling himself almighty malachi.

Though I'm not the type of fan to Google every single thing he has done to make sure my trivia knowledge is up to snuff, I do consider myself a Lynch fan. I have never heard this song until now, somehow. I need to find the lyrics to it, because I have no fucking idea what the hell is going on in this song. I also would like to know why he hates the song so much.

Isn't it on his first album?

soo learning this on guitar.

Over the line! Doesn't anybody care about the Goddamn rules anymore!? Mark it zero!

Thomas Hansen your about to enter a world of pain!

I always shout it out when I am live at his performances (next Monday will be the third time, cologne November 4th)

He sped up the song in this version and its awesome this way, but the original slow version is horrible.

No you wont

That is funny

Yeah, well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

Fóund it!

I actually like this song.

There's is a good big lebowski comment here and I'm gonna find it

It's so fucking funny that he hates this song, because musically it's probably his best. XD

This song is hilarious!!!!!

I love this song!!! It's hilarious!!!!!

*YOU FUCKING BOWLING SONG!*

This song is possum grade awesome

lol, i didn't, but i found the song i was looking for, it was rihanna We found love! thanks to all...

Im killin myself! XD

...keep it in my favorite ball sack...

Your so lame that it makes me puke

i dont know what the fuck youre talking abou......

haha i love the top comment here. The title is bowling song.. I think everyone knows.

C'mon, fuckers, pick a lane!

Idk, I love this faster version....

Malachi smiled upon you child.

its not a matter of bowling taking no skill its the fact that its thought of as a childrens birthday gift or an old persons hobby.

It's true that a lot of people think bowling is lame, but try bowling with someone who can bowl 250+ and we'll see who's lame.

i have hacked my comment so much, you cannot like or dislike it. just try it, it's honestly impossible. DO NOT LIKE MY COMMENT IF IT WORKS BECAUSE THEN ILL LOOK LIKE A CHEATER AND A LIAR

WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITH THAT CURSOR?

YOU CANT PRESS LIKE OR DISLIKE

NOOOOOO

Yes But if the click the video called the BOWLING SONG i think they might already know its about bowling

What spoilers stupid

As i roll the ball i cry
let me bowl or let me die
I Am almighty Malachi

The slow version is rather horrible. I suggest listening to it so you can see what they first heard.

wow not to be an ass but umm we didnt need to know that sorry you can be mad at me now

I was # 10
suck it bitch get to singing

got a ball that's smoth and all that and all that, i keep it in my favorit ball sack, i get the felling in my soul, as i finger every hole. So pervert

Opie and Anthony didn't like this song? Fuck those guys.

i will sing this song every time i bowl if i get 10 likes on this

This. Song. Is. Awesome.

bowling is not a fucking sport,

@MsJamila99 You totally wanted this song, don't deny it!

hey people,
i didnt want this song, can u help me, its a song i heard in bowling 2 times and also i heard it in one of my classmates ipad, i dont know the name of that song is, but its something in a lady's voice, something like this: all the way, and its so good, its so nice and all the strikes.
i dont exactly know the lyrics and all what i typed was wrong but what else can i do to tell u, just try to do ur best to know this song and if u get to know it then pls tell me.

listened to this song since it was available on youtube. gotta say... this song will play at my wedding and funeral

I'm a competitive bowler and love this song.

I love the bowling song, and I know its not the funniest or the most clever, but for some reason it one of my favorites.

I play this every time I head to the bowling alley!!

1:19 Starts Song!!!

1:23 Starts song

This song doesn't make me LOL, but it's still awesome.

I don't know why he thinks this sucks, I would say it's his BEST song!

@ironsped18 your a genius!!!! i luv tht!!!!

you watch me on your tv say that my job is easy say that i am not athletic you think my sports pathetic but you cant judge me until youve walked a mile in my bowling shoes so i dont get all the ladies got a mullet from the eighties im known throughout the valleys as the prophet if the alleys chorus (and as i roll the ball i cry let me bowl or let me die im almighty malachi the bowling god the smell of resin gets me high kiss those fucking pins goodbye im allmighty malachi the the bowling god )

I get a feeling in my soul when I finger every hole too!

8 people must be deaf ... they were like awww no sound! *dislike*

Should be on the Big Lebowski sdtk ;D

CRAAAAAAP!

Im a not a jukebox :D

Come on Fuckers, pick a lane! Best Bowling Taunt. EVER!

Love this song

This is definitely my favorite song of his. It doesn't have all those dumb extreme jokes about sex or gay people or whatever, its a high powered song about a very subtle subject which is why its awesome

How could they make fun of this song???? its the most awesome song he has! Come on fuckers pick a lane!

that guy is killing himself...........

That was....awesome. o.o

I put this on my Cellphone and played it while I was bowling, I did great!

@asdfg1234567891012 ohhhhhhhhhhhh, i say DELETE....LOL

Its going on my bowling playlist! My two favorite things together: bowling+comedy = epicness!

@LScottATremblay agreed

@LScottATremblay

Try looking for a version that isn't the CD version. It sounds horrible. I don't know why. It's probably because he played this one sped up.

Wait.. I said this before.

The dislike bar on this song is like Justin Bieber's penis; It's tiny, and only grows when assholes touch it

awesome song...listened to it before i rolled my 300...i give this song credit

I listened to the radio performance he talked about. THere were some laughing lol. Though I do like how he plays it faster in this version, it's better at this speed.

@wurun2003
No, it was the person who asked for the bowling song at the start