Lil Dicky - Professional Rapper Lyrics
[Spoken:]
"Hello, how can I help you?"
"Hi, my name's Dave Burd. I have an appointment today.
It's probably under 'Lil Dicky,' actually. I'm a... I'm a rapper, so..."
"Ok, and who are you here to see?"
"Oh, yeah. He's right down the hall. First door to your right. Give him a knock and he should be right with you"
"Thanks. It's uh, this door right here, right?"
"Mm-hmm"
"Thank you"
[Lil Dicky & Snoop Dogg:]
Grab a seat
Thanks I'm Dave very nice to meet
Dave, what it do? You can call me Dogg
Let me just check your sheet
I'm a big fan of the shit that y'all make
I can't lie, I been thinking about this all day
All good, there's a reason that we called, Dave
Let me start with your background
Where you come from?
Sure, I was undergrad down there in Richmond
Before that
Oh, you talking bout my hometown?
Yeah
I was born out of Philly grew up in a little silly old town called Cheltenham
It was in the suburbs, upper-middle wealth around
So real shit you ain't never had to struggle for much
I wouldn't say it like that, we just had a different kind of trap
Elaborate
Well I ain't never had a tool, but I had to be the man at school
Like I was doing shit I had to do so when I finished undergrad, I'm cool and I can get whatever job I wanted
But the job you wanted wasn't all that bumping
Yeah, and I saw it quick all the flaws that be coming when you grow up like that
When you been racing them rats, you ain't been making them raps
Boo hoo what a hardship
How you paid to get the rap shit started?
Man, my Bar Mitzvah money
But don't diss me buddy, I wasn't one of them younguns up on the block who had nothing to lose
I must've wanted this a lot, I had something to choose
Look at that, I can say there's something to prove up in your ass
Yeah, I guess
That's enough of the past, what makes you want to do rap?
Oh my God, it's the best
Bitches let me draw up on their breasts
Literally I can reinvent myself
I get a forum to project myself
It's never boring, every morning I wake up and try to best myself
I never got to be suppressed or stealthy to express myself
It's kinda healthy
Cool, now let me put you through a couple hypotheticals
Sure
In a club and a couple niggas threaten you
Uh, I wouldn't do shit
And I don't even get what that got to do with this?
Shut the fuck up, rap's like life
If you wanna do this, then you won't get far acting like a little bitch
Nah, that's my niche
Don't get offended by this, but that's the market y'all missed
That's the target I'll hit
And that's the heart of my pitch
I wanna do this whole thing different
What the fuck you mean you wanna do the whole thing different?
Uh, you know, I-I think, like, you know
Traditionally people have been doing the job the same kind of way for a long time
But traditionally speaking, this shit works, right?
Nah, like, I get that, but I-I just think that, you know
You don't know if it could be working even better
And I think you should look at me as an opportunity to find that out
I don't mean any disrespect by that
I'm just saying I have a different background
Like a different perspective way of looking at things than your typical applicant
[Lil Dicky & Snoop Dogg:]
So what are your biggest strengths?
Well my flow is crazy, I can switch that amazing
For example, I can be like ain't nobody fucking with Lil Dicky
When he get up on that shit and spit it sick and ridiculous
Ripping this shit like it's never been did and the rhythm is never predictable
Cause I can switch it, deliver this shit in whatever cadence you bitches prefer
Alright, alright, I get it
Top of that, lyrically I'm pretty damn clever (Go)
Got a long bottom bitch, call the hoe Neville (Whoa)
And I blow it from the jump, Derrick Rose knee (Oh)
You can say I'm pretty smart how I know better
And y'all been winning like Pistorius, there's no feet
Bro, I can go on and on
I'm taking over and they mad like father in laws
OK enough of the punchline, that ain't showing me you different from the other guys
Well I don't know if they can run it like that
But ain't nobody else doing funny type rap
What's that?
Well I can tell a story about my morning
Watching Boy meets World and jerking off to Topanga Lawrence
Like the 14 year old Topanga
Oh this shit like a joke to you?
I don't get it
Nah it ain't like that I just happen to be a nutty abundantly funny type of individual
Like it's a guy
So when I get up on the mic I ain't finna just lie
Real recognize real, right?
Yeah, I guess
So what you trying to do?
Five years from now, tell me bout the dude
Well, I don't care about the money
Like, it's the respect that I'm wanting
Honestly, I just want to be one of the greats
Where they gotta bring your boy up every debate
I don't wanna leave the game the same
In a nutshell, what's your legacy?
Well, I wanna be the dude that came in and made the stand up rap
With the random rap and the man like that for the people that was anti-rap
Yet, the fans of rap start to recognize that anti-rap
Is ironically one of the real brands of rap left
That shit sound pretty damn complex
I guess, I wanna be the best
I just wanna do it my way
And turn the whole game sideways
And show people you ain't gotta be resigned to the highway
You can make a path while these motherfuckers drive straight
I ain't mad at that
Well thanks, man, that's my plan of my attack
Just let me in and I'm a rap the plaques
And I ain't about to win them back to back
I'm bout to win them like it's back to back to back to back to back
Til I stop rapping
You ain't even sold a damn album yet
True
That's a lot of talk from a wiley vet
Let alone a young rook nigga
You misread me
Nah this ain't a book nigga
Well that's one of my flaws, I'm too competitive dawg
No, you just fucking repetitive dawg
I get it, you trying to be better than all
But you ain't shit until cheddars involved
I get that I gotta prove myself
No shit you ain't done shit
But think about that though
Only doing this a couple of years
One tape and I'm like this?
This shit is aight for your first shit
But you don't know if it's your worst shit
You don't think finding out would be worth it?
It might be, it might not
But I'm a put your ass to work, kid
Wait, like, like I have the job? Like really?
Well one more thing, let me see if you could put a hook together
What would you do for the hook for this song?
You want me to make a hook up right now?
Do I look like the type of nigga that like repeating himself?
Alright, uh, okay
Man do the hook
I'm bout to be professional
Homie, I'm professional
Uh, maybe like a low voice type thing?
Nigga, that shit is garbage man
Well, you know, I feel like there might have been some upside to it
But I'm not good at thinking of things on the spot like that
Don't y'all normally like outsource for that kind of thing sometimes?
Sometimes, but you know, that was some next level Dogg shit right there
Yeah, you know, I'm just way better when I get to think things through
Have my like that dual screen action that type of thing
Whatever man, you trying to smoke a blunt?
Right now?
Yeah
Sure
[Lil Dicky, Snoop Dogg & (Juanita):]
Dope. Juanita, bring some weed in here, please. Thank you
(You got it, Snoop. I'll be right there.)
Thanks, Juanita. Super nice woman
Nigga, why does everything you say sound so soft?
Uh, I really don't wanna be spoken to like that, so
Whatever. Thanks
(Hey, I got y'all y'all weed.)
Damn, that's some great looking weed. It's just so early
(Can I get you guys anything else while I'm here? Coffee? Tea? Head? Bottled water?)
D-Did you just say head?
(Yeah. You ain't never got no head before?)
I mean... Just feels like... A lot, right now
(Ok.)
But what kind of tea do you guys have?
(We got mint, raspberry, earl grey, english breakfast...)
Actually, I'll take head
(I knew your little dirty ass wanted some head.)
Other Lyrics by Artist
- Lil Dicky - XXL Freshman 2016 - Lil Dicky Freestyle
- Lil Dicky - Parental Advisory (Interlude)
- Lil Dicky - Pillow Talking
- Lil Dicky - Personality
- Lil Dicky - Oh Well
- Lil Dicky - $Ave Dat Money
- Lil Dicky - Hannibal Interlude
- Lil Dicky - Bruh...
- Lil Dicky - Molly
- Lil Dicky - White Crime
- Lil Dicky - Lemme Freak For Real Tho (Outro)
- Lil Dicky - Lemme Freak
- Lil Dicky - Who Knew
- Lil Dicky - Professional Rapper
- Lil Dicky - Meet The Burds (Interlude)
- Lil Dicky - I'm Right
- Lil Dicky - Classic Male Pregame
- Lil Dicky - The Antagonist
Rand Lyrics
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Lil Dicky Professional Rapper Comments
Fuck mumble rap 🖕🖕🖕
Its working better Dave, its working...
I remember when this just came out :(
The fact he idolized Snoop Dogg but Lil Dicky has more subs
This is the best kind of rap. It has a story to tell, and there’s talent behind the voice
5:25 I wish I could get head from BBW woman like her.
3:55 why would they add that
The people on the right
Im surprised the buildin aint full of smoke yet
Damn time flies
So nobody isn't gonna mention Snoop Doggs forehead, like damn.
Lil dicky is very imaginative and it would be great if you're high on grass
Snoop Dogg looks like he got hit in the head and a little bulge grew on his head, like in those old cartoons
This song is so gay i swear.
3:11 ain’t that fun
3:57
Look at the left, then on the other one look right
Upcoming rappers:this shit is hard
Lil Dicky:hey Chris Brown collab?
Chris Brown: sure
Lil Dicky: hey snoop dog collab?
Snoop:yeah
3:08 woahhh
Lol I actually liked the hook
Uhhhh i wouldn't do shit lol the honesty
top 10 rappers eminem was afraid to diss
Eminem” were gonna have a prob here
"Elebarate" the way Snoop delivered that line was smooth as hell damnitttt!😩
Lol ends at 555
Ohh love the cartoon!!! Daylyt better tho
If only every person who wanted to become a rapper had to be passed by snoop dogg, today's music would be less shit
"ACTULLY... ILL TAKE HEAD" ----HOL UP
Ok you can get the fuck out of my reccomended
Wanita seems really nice.
I’m like who tf is this guy with this damn Dave commercial 😂😂😂 he litty like lol love the creativity and drive
Throw back to when Lil Dicky still rapped. 😞
Hahahahaha
I thought it would be worse, but it was cool
Lol that's amazing
lil dickey is honestly nothing new and is pretty dam generic.
This is the people who wants some head by that i mean likes
is the receptionist lizzo
Actually I'll take some head🤣🤣
Love the Harry Potter reference 😄
This is true,,,
Imaging *_debuting_* with Snoop Dogg.
I know that someone will find this comment someday
Wish you lucky in your life 🍀
Why thank you
Your comment has been found
Dr dree
Haha I like that flow it's almost mesmerising...
Where the **** is Weed in this?
I dont know that howtodad is a rapper.
I hear this in YouTube music, I thought he was black
Nah, u just repatiteve dog
For every one like I get, I will be more inspired to go out, ignore my diet and buy some poptarts. Comment which poptart is your favourite flavour and the most popular flavour I see from the answers I will purchase. If you don't have a poptart you don't have a life, please help me live. 100 likes = one poptart box.
anyone else just suddenly get this in there recommended
Yo Snooop..... frfr, why isnt this an actual series on Netflix?
Hi dave
Whats a "head"?
When lil dicky says that he just wants to be one of the greats. Who is the last person? Like when they showed all the photos. I wasn’t able to telll
Looks like Jay-Z
2:39 is that jinny wealsey
ngl sounds like homicide logic
Go to the link below if you want health care products such as tea or any other vitamin like products.
https://retail.totallifechanges.com/Bmishty2020hope
I liked when Wahnita went like “I knew ur lil dirty ass wanted some head”
i remember first watching this. Everyone thought it was funny but I like it for real
Who are you here to see? Uhh.. Snoop Dogg?? *walks in office* "Im a big fan" XD so confusing
I woulda taken the head too...she fine as fuuuuuuuck !
So did Dogg just sit there and watch him get head ?
Lil Jude
how the fUck is this 4 years old
The respect to the Rap Gods in this video is great.
What it "get head"?
Not believing this was 4 years ago, I can’t.
Nearly 5
Damn four years ago first one to watch this
I just downloaded it on my phone. Who said white's can't rap? Status of the day on WhatsApp.
Many new comments
Interesting
dicky be sicky shiiiit
This was made on my birthday july 31
Fire Great flow
CAN I GET AN ADULT CARTOON OF THIS PLEASE
3:18
Yo wtf. Biggie gets a crown but PAC doesn’t? Fuck that shit.
I think it’s funny that Snoop just has to talk and he kills it
This dude dropped this and fuckin vanished
🔥🔥😂😂
Better than 95% of black rappers out there
4 years later his wack ass fell off
Me and snoop have the same bday lit
my inner economist is died a bit when i look at the supply demand graph
Sometimes I forget Lil Dicky’s actually a really impressive rapper lmao
Cool plot)
Did anybody saw mgk?
That's 53 k angry jeues
he is way better than the cliche crap that's out there
The dislikers are who was not offered *HEAD* by her 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Snoop and dicky kill it
Shitttttttttttt DAMN HES GOOD
Pac should of been first on that frame cause hes the one that put out rap and out rapped everyone
It is 2020 it came out 5 years ago...
i just saw that with a friend a we think these video must need a Netflix adaptation with 40 ep almost :,))
Thanks for this