Lajoie, Jon - Alone In The Universe Lyrics






We're floating in space on the edge of time
In a universe that we can't define
Billions of stars in the endless night
Try to find purpose for our lives
Yet we still take the time (we still take the time)
Yes we always take the time

To masturbate oohhh
To milk the snake
Girls do the taco hand shake
I'm gonna hold my sausage hostage, tonight

Whether you're English, French, Japanese, or German
Whether you're at home or at a movie with Pee Wee Herman
We all take matters into our own hands
With the five finger army we invade our pants
We'd all be doing time (yes we'd all be doing time)
If it was a crime

To masturbate oohhh
To pull the hand brake
To play vagina DJ
She's gonna play country on the clitar, tonight

He burps his baby
She's putting on a puppet show
Our genitals are Juliet
Our hands are Romeo
He chokes his chicken
She tickles her camel toe
Our genitals are Ju...

That Marisa Tomei is hot

Our genitals are Juliet
Our hands are Romeo

I'm gonna play ball on team penis, tonight





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Lajoie, Jon Alone In The Universe Comments
  1. L.... S....

    I wonder if the title "Alone in the universe" suckered more people in for views than having a innuendo about masturbation as the title would have drawn in organically?

  2. L.... O....

    3:46
    Funny how years later we all would make the same comment after seing Spider-Man Homecoming

  3. W.... R....

    This is, still 11 years since I first heard it the best thing on YouTube

  4. R.... A....

    Great song funny fucking shit

  5. A.... S....

    2020 Hello there

  6. A.... m....

    It sounds like Coldplay.

  7. r.... ....

    how could he keep a straight face thru all the song?

  8. I.... ....

    Glenn Beck posted an Article about a country singer overcoming his pornography addiction with god.

    So I shared this. I really REALLY hope they watch this. xD

    I.... ....

    Jesus that guy sounds FUCKED. Hes a country singer with a porn addiction who thinks some magical being has the time to make sure he's not jerking it.

  9. T.... ....

    Desperately want to google "Cumhog Millionaire", but at work atm so gotta wait. :(

  10. 2.... u....

    Really bullshit but I love this clip! It very funny and creative XD!!!)))

  11. G.... ....

    The english captions are so wrong hahahahahah

  12. N.... S....

    This was 10 years ago.....jesus.

  13. C.... S....

    God.... The good days of YouTube.

  14. n.... a....

    😍😍those old times man look at the beaches , roads , fashion , weather

  15. K.... ....

    I really want to do karaoke with this song but sadly no DJs know about it

  16. R.... G....

    Miss you Jon

  17. n.... ....

    That Marissa Tomei...

  18. M.... C....

    Can't stop singing along 😜😍

  19. G.... ....

    Real music before real music was a thing.

  20. R.... l....

    Drunk 7 beer, song s good

  21. P.... C....

    With my five finger army I invade the thumbs up button

  22. J.... A....

    10 years.
    Congrats, Jon

  23. B.... G....

    Love Jon lajoie

  24. s.... m....

    8th grade

  25. Y.... B....

    That chorus in the end is so nice

  26. K.... �....

    Who is holding the sausage hostage in 2019?

    K.... �....

    Everyone!

    K.... �....

    Nostalgic

    K.... �....

    I've jerked it 92 times today. And it's just after noon. Im going to keep going boys.

    K.... �....

    maybe in 2020

    K.... �....

    Boyyy we out here in 2020 repping dat emcee vaginer

  27. J.... H....

    Who wants to start a Jon Lajoie cover band with me 🤘

    J.... H....

    I'd do it.

    J.... H....

    MassivePonyFan bet.

  28. V.... t....

    wait how does it have a 2010 song in the end?

  29. V.... t....

    10 years! happy birhday, dear song!

  30. O.... ....

    Play cuntry on the clitar lol

  31. D.... A....

    Your better than Coldplay

  32. N.... ....

    ten years just passed ladies and gents ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  33. K.... V....

    I am moved.

  34. L.... o....

    03:46 Jon predicted Aunt May lol

  35. C.... ....

    Still here in 2019

  36. J.... A....

    This is so hilarious

  37. K.... O....

    every time i listen to this song im like "oh yea thats what its about"

  38. C.... ....

    2018 anyone?

  39. M.... ....

    That beach will have a zombie chorusman some day

  40. C.... ....

    2018 and 4eva

  41. G.... N....

    Feeding the seagulls eh?

  42. S.... ....

    The beginning is simply beautiful. So well put. The rest is hilarious.

  43. B.... ....

    Why did this lead me to Tom Cruise.

  44. C.... ....

    This song has been breaking a lot of ice for me when picking up girls online. Best wingman ever.

  45. R.... ....

    damn , I miss'd this.......thanx 4 the wake up call Jon...Rock onnn

    R.... ....

    ...you played 4/20 in Sac, thas jus kool...as.....fuck......

  46. h.... h....

    Fuck I must urbane sausage

  47. T.... H....

    i think he recorded it faster and slowed it later ... 1.5 sounds 100% real, standard sounds awwkward =)

  48. J.... a....

    Damn I haven't heard this since like senior year of high school in '09

  49. S.... s....

    I swear I'm not even gay but he is just the most beautiful man I've ever seen. Is that gay?

    S.... s....

    It is if you masturbated

  50. T.... R....

    4:47 you playing in Totonto ? Do you know what tonto means ? Tatanka !

  51. A.... ....

    1.5x speed.

    Reminds me of sound garden

  52. D.... J....

    Nailed it

  53. B.... S....

    I CAME HERE TO CUM IN MY PANTS AND I DID

  54. P.... T....

    this is the 2000's to a t.

  55. C.... I....

    I thought it was a cuntry song... I was not pissapointed.

  56. V.... T....

    This is Jon's most cleverly written song by far IMO







    Besides Show Me Your Genitals of course

  57. L.... ....

    9 years still gold

  58. G.... ....

    3:44.. that Theresa May is so Ho0oO0ot

  59. D.... B....

    This song is harder to masturbate to than expected. He needs to up his game.

  60. D.... B....

    Jon please come to slovakia and i swear to you ri will be the best videoclip you ever had ...... Jon if you have a goood camera please brind it ---- and if you really reading this pôese let me now for the videoclip

  61. s.... s....

    really good song.. I almost cry...

  62. H.... ....

    Vagina DJ

  63. A.... K....

    Where have you gone, Jon? I miss you.

  64. A.... J....

    Surely if exo-planets are so far away, say 50 million light years then we are seeing them as they were 50 million years ago and because of that there is a chance the alien life has developed there.

  65. M.... t....

    hold the sausage hostage *killed* me

  66. S.... M....

    Always makes me cry

  67. T.... ....

    Still a big fan, many years ago. :)

  68. h.... a....

    what the fuck man

  69. R.... a....

    We're floating in space on the edge of time
    In a universe that we can't define
    Billions of stars in the endless night
    Trying to find purpose for our lives
    Yet we still take the time (we still take the time)
    Yes we always take the time

    To masturbate oohhh
    To milk the snake
    Girls do the taco hand shake
    I'm gonna hold my sausage hostage, tonight

    Whether you're English, French, Japanese, or German
    Whether you're at home or at a movie with Pee Wee Herman
    We all take matters into our own hands
    With the five finger army we invade our pants
    We'd all be doing time (yes we'd all be doing time)
    If it was a crime

    To masturbate oohhh
    To pull the hand brake
    To play vagina DJ
    She's gonna play cuntry on the clitar, tonight

    He burps his baby
    She's putting on a puppet show
    Our genitals are Juliet
    Our hands are Romeo
    He chokes his chicken
    She tickles her camel toe
    Our genitals are Ju...

    That Marisa Tomei is hot

    Our genitals are Juliet
    Our hands are Romeo

    I'm gonna play ball on team penis, tonight

    R.... a....

    *cuntry on the clitar

  70. J.... H....

    Happy faping!

  71. L.... S....

    "she's gonna play country on the clitar tonight" XD

  72. J.... H....

    3:37 Looks at the time on an imaginary watch

  73. �.... �....

    hello from 2017

  74. O.... H....

    who is watching this in 2017

    O.... H....

    2019 bud

  75. b.... ....

    OG neckbeard anthem

  76. N.... G....

    This is so goood

  77. x.... ....

    is this a parody?

    x.... ....

    xasnly it is a psylosophical song that express how people wastes thier time by doing useless thing (al least thats what i think)

    x.... ....

    but the tune sounds so good and is familiar like ive heard it before. if its not a parody of another song then its damn good

  78. M.... ....

    and on that note... off I go ;)

  79. J.... W....

    High key thought your were gonna be singing "Seussical"

  80. T.... D....

    LoL. 😎👍

  81. L.... ....

    He sounds like Stephen Malkmus!

  82. s.... ....

    mfw someone acknowledges female masturbation
    My hero

    s.... ....

    Classic taco handshake

  83. t.... ....

    Kinda looks/sounds like Yellow from Coldplay.

  84. D.... P....

    Hahahahahaha unique performer. Favourite

  85. f.... ....

    slow mo running down street ... much like certain bits of wolfie is fine videos
    :P

  86. P.... S....

    I often prefer girls that tickle the camel toe. hehe

  87. V.... T....

    Set the speed to 1.5 or 2 and it makes the song sound really happy

    V.... T....

    best advice ever

    V.... T....

    hahahahaha magic, thanks mate

    V.... T....

    Thank you

    V.... T....

    Rip some of the audio though. 😂

  88. H.... �....

    That Marisa Tomei comment...super topical as of 2016

  89. D.... U....

    come back pls

    D.... U....

    Dial Up he is back

  90. L.... K....

    The eternal epic ~ I am using iphone gen100s, the time machine function allows me to leave comments on the past...

    now I wanna try out ICQ, see if I can find my grandma's mother playing it.

  91. F.... B....

    And Marisa Tomei stills HOOOT.

  92. C.... ....

    It's May of 2016 and I still love this song

    C.... ....

    2018 hello

  93. N.... O....

    The universe is nonsense. The lights in the sky are not Suns. Just lights. We live on flat earth!

  94. N.... T....

    This song really helped me through some tough times

    N.... T....

    Nathan Tutor Through some "hard" times?

    N.... T....

    Incurablederp, I have expected your joke, lol

  95. T.... ....

    I aint got no time for this song.

  96. G.... ....

    sounds like a Feeder song

    G.... ....

    +Gabor dude, yellow from Coldplay. dah

  97. R.... D....

    jerking off in a theatre to marisa tomei is the life

    R.... D....

    This song was the first thing that crossed my mind during Civil War.