La Dispute - I See Everything Lyrics






Like any morning of my junior year I stumble in the classroom late but this day I see
Faces, I feel an air like a funeral, like a wake, as I sit down
My teacher speaking, somewhat somberly, but still confident and calm
Part eulogy, her speech, and part poem, part celebration song
Her warmth and smile, she passes photocopies out to us of entries from a journal
Kept so long ago. She starts to read and suddenly it's 1980

March 5-The cancer is furious but our son is resilient
We have all the faith we'll get through this no matter what the end
Treatments are violent but he keeps on smiling
It's amazing finding joy in the little things

April 12-Andrew's appetites improved and we thank God everyday
But still it's hard sometimes to see him in that scarecrow frame

July 9-There's a suffering when I look in his eyes. He's been through so much
We've all been through so much but what incredible resolve our little boy shows
Only 7, standing face to face with death
He said it's easy to find people who have suffered worse than him
“Like Jesus, suffered worse than anyone,” he told me last night, “when God abandoned him”

September 20-We've been playing in the yard lately and spirits are high
Although his blood counts aren't

October 14-He feels tired all the time

November 30-At the hospital again. It feels like home when we're here

December 8-He's getting worse

January 19-We buried our son today, our youngest child
And while his death was ugly we must not let it scare us from God
Abundant grace has restored him. A brand new body
And set him free from the torture, finally rid of the cancer
Before the moment he left he briefly wrested from death, suddenly opened his eyes said
“I SEE EVERYTHING. I SEE EVERYTHING”

And I will never forget it, the peace and the comfort you displayed through a pain
That I can only imagine. The loss of a child to the torture of cancer. Help me
Because I can only imagine how you recovered
Kept your faith and held the brightness of life inside the smile of a child you had to bury
And I will never forget him or your steadfast faith
No, I will never forget you. Now six or seven years later, I'm devoid of all faith
I am empty of comfort and I am weary of waiting
Though I've felt nowhere what you have, I see nothing at all
Though I've felt nowhere what he did, my eyes are closed





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La Dispute I See Everything Comments
  1. N.... O....

    Sudenly it's 1980

  2. N.... O....

    Like jesus suffered worse than anyone last night he told me when god abandoned him

  3. M.... R....

    There’s a suffering when I look in his eyes
    He’s been through so much
    We’ve all been through so much

  4. D.... M....

    I've heard this song 100 times but everytime the music kicks back in loud after "January 19" it's like a wave of emotion. This band is incredible at invoking emotions just with the sound of the music and the timing of the lyrics. I love when the music is calm and his demeanor is calm like he's thinking clearly, but when the music is loud and chaotic you can hear the anger, sadness, and confusion in his voice.

  5. I.... ....

    This kind of lyrics feels like it's own kind of depression incarnated. I felt something like this while listening to The Katering by the Antlers.

  6. G.... C....

    Beautifully deep

  7. T.... G....

    A few days before my birthday in October
    They found out my cousin had leukemia and then a few days after my birthday they found out my brother had a cancerous tumor they removed it thankfully he didn’t need chemo or radiology but he still needs check-up every month or so my mum is always on edge always... she goes to church every weekend to pray for all of us for him to stay okay. I don’t really believe in god like that but I respect her so much for being so dedicated and strong through this. This week they did a cat scan for him and they called him back to do another scan cause they found something that was unclear. My mum is with him right now at the doctors she has been crying and not sleeping. I believe her faith is strong enough to protect him. This song has a lot of meaning to me now and I can’t help but cry now when I hear it.

  8. s.... ....

    chills everywhere probably because it resonates deep within me. A year ago I lost my uncle to rare 4th stage cancer, he was only 52. If only we could have known. I'll miss you forever.

  9. d.... h....

    after all these years this song's still giving me goosebumps. i'm not really - what you could call an empathetic man - but this gives me a dry throat

  10. C.... L....

    Only song that consistently makes me cry

  11. T.... J....

    do you smook meth?

  12. K.... M....

    “My eyes are closed”

  13. B.... R....

    here's a story:
    i was born on january 19th, premature and on the brink of death. when i was in the NICU, they put me between two baby boys. my mom always tells me that she's so happy that i made it - because both of those boys died. the transition from january 19th to we buried our son today, hits me SO HARD. I really do feel like i take my life for granted (especially considering the reason I came to listen to this is because i'm pretty depressed right now) and to think about what those parents had to go through... i feel so selfish.

    B.... R....

    bry marie please don't feel selfish, because taking what we have granted is completely natural. This is how our brain is made to get used to what we have. I don't know the name of this phenomenon, but it exists so we do not have to register everything again and again. You realizing how special your life is what counts, because you realized how special this is. Just cherish it. Don't feel bad for not doing it up til now.
    I don't want to sound preachy... I just want to ease this "guilt" a lot of us has and try to show how we can be a bit more loving towards any situation.
    Thanks for reading, hope you have a good day.

  14. N.... ....

    Usually not my style of music but I get chills from this too, strange.

  15. S.... P....

    Here on January 19!!!

  16. b.... ....

    My free trial netflix account expires January 19th.

    b.... ....

    benjaminchaffins damn. Same

  17. A.... M....

    Damn. Idk what to even say

  18. X.... G....

    Though i felt nowhere what he did, my eyes are closed....

  19. k.... a....

    This song is so sad:(

  20. M.... ....

    1:58 chills everytime

  21. I.... A....

    January 19

  22. G.... ....

    This song is amazing. I've listened to this song hundreds of times and it never fails to make chills run down my spine and my eyes tear up. La Dispute is my favourite band.

  23. D.... M....

    "She lost her kid, only seven, to cancer.
    She answered with faith in her god and carried on"

    D.... M....

    Danu Miron I love the way All Our Brusied... have references to I see everything and 27 Times

  24. Y.... I....

    This reminds me of Johnny's death in the outsiders. He didn't have cancer, but the feeling that Poneyboy had for his death and Johnny's view is described perfectly in this song.

    Y.... I....

    +Savannah Glenn i'm reading this book for school and i actually really like it, and i wasn't expecting at all that someone in the comments on a random music video on youtube would spoil me

    Y.... I....

    +TzT BadStudentQc I am sorry.

  25. I.... C....

    I was diagnosed with brain cancer when I was 7. I had a tumor in my pitituary. I was in remission up until now. So this is hitting me hard.

    I.... C....

    +Ivy-Ariana Curl I wish you well!

    I.... C....

    how are you?

  26. E.... T....

    September 20th is my birthday :)))

    E.... T....

    You're*

    E.... T....

    EMILY THEHONEYBADGER yas girl, correct his bs

    E.... T....

    you win im cancer ;(

    E.... T....

    Marcus Frostenson the funny thing is no one called you a single name.

    E.... T....

    dude its a prank im acutally aids

  27. K.... L....

    Holy shit, this is one of the worst fucking songs I have ever heard in my life.

    K.... L....

    +Damien Landstorm Not a song...Not.A.Song. Garbage makes more sense.

    K.... L....

    +Damien Landstorm Sounds like religion.

    K.... L....

    Why are you here then? Get out of here with your shitty opinions.

    K.... L....

    I wonder, why are you here commenting on something you don't like with the sole purpose of bad mouthing something a lot of people actually like? Is it just that you are too close minded to see that not everything that falls outside of the mainstream is bad? Or is it not your fault? maybe it's your parents that raised you to be an attention seeking racist that gets all his joy from making and/or seeing other people suffer. So much even that all you do all day is listen to cheesy pop music and wannabe punk while watching riot videos of racist idiots fighting police officers. stick to the things you like and leave the rest alone. I see people who commented on your reaction in a mature way and what you do is act like a dick about it, you should be proud. I know this is the kind of reaction you're trying to get. Realise you are the loser here. And yes you could now check if my spelling is correct and then use that against me, go for it and show the world how empty your words are, show us all the brains u lack.
    xoxo your friend Charles

  28. j.... v....

    I never experienced a love one die of cancer but the way the he sings the lyrics are so beautiful and you can hear the emotion. The whole album is a masterpiece in my eyes. Another good song like this is La dispute king park

  29. E.... ....

    the way jordan says "we buried our son today" ALWAYS triggers an onslaught of tears from me

    E.... ....

    It always happens during Christmas and New Year.
    It's not the same afterwards

    E.... ....

    +Emily Terry It gave me chills

    E.... ....

    It's so sad

  30. d.... ....

    This song gives me strenght.

  31. g.... ....

    chills. everywhere.

    g.... ....

    |-/ yassss

  32. D.... ....

    I only cry like once a year, this has me bawling, especially because I have a son now. 

  33. T.... C....

    This song always puts me close to tears, yet it means so much to me. The child that he talking about is/was older then me when i went through that. I find this song so beautiful and it makes me thankful to say that i'm a survivor.  

    T.... C....

    Turtle Chicky You're a survival of what type of cancer? Sorry, super late comment.

  34. T.... E....

    I'm sorry.

  35. D.... ....

    This was sad

  36. p.... ....

    I cry to this song often.

  37. O.... V....

    It warms my heart to see so many people who are either struggling with cancer or know someone who is being able to completely relate to this song. I've been listening to it for months know and only today did my entire soul get numb from a realization. My grandmother passed away from lung cancer (she didn't even smoke) this year. As I was listening to the song, I listened carefully to when he screamed "January 19" and realized my grandmother passed away on January 19th as well. God, I miss her so much.

    Let's just say the floodgate of repressed feels has been forced open. Thank you La Dispute, thank you for making such powerful music.

  38. A.... h....

    This is a story about a religious woman loosing her child to cancer, whether you believe in a god or subscribe to idea of an religion, or not, is completely irrelevant.

  39. S.... R....

    rip erin griffin, a 13 year old girl from south australia who died of brain cancer a week ago. one of my good friends best friend.

    fight on nanna who is about to start chemo for stage 2 breast cancer.

    S.... R....

    I'll pray for u

    S.... R....

    I know this was years ago but I'm all emotional after listening to this song again, I hope everything went well and nana is hanging on.

    S.... R....

    +Aaron Saunders nanna is all good! :)

  40. m.... ....

    This song tears me apart every time I hear it..  It's a little different in my situation, since it's my mom who is dying of brain cancer, but I relate so much and I feel like im choking whenever I listen to it but I cant stop

    m.... ....

    I relate to this song because my little brother's best friend was diagnosed with stage 3 bone cancer last year and missed his whole 5th grade year. He finally chased it into remission three weeks ago, though. He's a touch kid, I'll tell you that.

    m.... ....

    i feel u girl, whats your number?

    m.... ....

    @YourFriendDroozy  this ^ is why kids that grew up in the 90s don't get any respect from woman without completely debasing themselves.  Try tact and subtlety

    m.... ....

    marco9147 my mom has stage IV lung cancer. How is your mom?

    m.... ....

    I feel you, my mom died from cancer eight months ago and this song reminds me of her everytime i listen to it, how/where is your mom? :(

  41. A.... M....

    Fuck God.

    A.... M....

    @Chris Cons Do you realize how stupid that sounds and if God were real how stupid it makes him sound?

    A.... M....

    Just focus on this part.
    The answer is two-fold. For one thing, God could have made a world with no evil in it. However, it would have been one of robots and puppets—creatures who could not love Him or anyone else. Love is possible only for free moral creatures; forced love is a contradiction. So, in order for the world to be morally good, it must be morally free. And free creatures are capable of free choices that bring disease, disaster and death. This is the world in which we live. What part of this is stupid?

    A.... M....

    @Chris Cons Still stupid, because this God is supposed to be almighty. If hes almighty he can define how we feel 

    A.... M....

    You can't force someone to love you. Love must come from a being who chooses to love and to have free choices, you must have free morals. Yes he is God almighty but he gave us free will. And we messed everything up. God or no god, we still ruined the world with our choices. The difference is with God you have a hope that this world isn't all and will be saved. With no God, the world will eventually die, as will you, and that is it. Nothing else. Everything dies.

    A.... M....

    @Chris Cons Well when hes almighty then hes still evil in my opinion. He could have stoped people from doing shit, but he didnt. Id rather have no free will and live in a world where there is eternal peace and everyone loves each other, than having a free will and living in this world where people are starving, rapeing and killing. Also if you live in a world without free will you wouldnt be missing anything, because you cant miss something you dont know

  42. 1.... ....

    This song is incredible :')

  43. M.... H....

    Its so sad, this story. It's very true, they're little entries a mother wrote.

  44. A.... ....

    This song reminds me of my friend I lost last year April 30th.... She fought cancer for years.... :'( 

  45. x.... ....

    this shit gets to me

  46. c.... ....

    it's january 19 today. ._.

  47. a.... ....

    quite emotion-instilling indeed. not quite enough to make me cry, though.

  48. B.... ....

    Holy shit, I'm crying. This album just leaves me raw.

  49. a.... n....

    every time my mom looks at me and says "I'm so lucky your healthy" it never meant much till I heard this song.

  50. H.... B....

    my bestfriend named andrew died last summer, and this is the first time i could handle listening to this song without breaking down since then. i love and miss you andrew. youve slept in too long, please wakeup already?

  51. j.... a....

    Wow im crying

  52. L.... M....

    why does January 19th have to be my birthday too?

  53. N.... R....

    One of the only bands that can give me chills

  54. j.... ....

    This song is so heartbreaking, I just... ugh.... I'm just gonna go cry now....

  55. A.... C....

    I think that song is All Our Bruised Bodies and the Whole Heart Shrinks, and that line on the song was referring to the boy here. The people and stories mentioned on that song are actually referring to characters in the different tracks in the album. Edward Benz, 27 times, I See Everything etc.

  56. G.... ....

    first time listening to la dispute today so don't know the other song you refer to but my interpretation was andrew was the son of the vocalists old teacher.......stunning song

  57. C.... M....

    lay down.
    try not to cry.
    cry a lot..!

  58. K.... ....

    can some one please explain to me who andrew is? In another song there is a boy who died at seven from cancer and I'm wondering who it is?

  59. D.... V....

    @ahmandahanarchy the last so g on the album summed up every other song, including this one

  60. P.... M....

    This. This is Beauty.

  61. C.... ....

    I'm fucking crying right now.

  62. l.... ....

    I don't get teary eyed when watching this on youtube, but if you listen to it while trying to fall asleep or driving, riding on a bus,etc you will.

  63. A.... ....

    ..Read all those comments. Felt kinda heartless, because I didn't even tear up. o.o

  64. t.... ....

    I heard this song a while ago, made me cry. Now I'm watching my grandfather waste away much like the child in the song.

    Feels I don't like feeling.

    Epic music

  65. J.... S....

    Every La Dispute song is so vividly beautiful

  66. p.... ....

    I'm fucking crying. CRYING.

  67. m.... ....

    OH GOD THE CHILLS.

  68. Y.... S....

    jesus fuck this song rattles my fucking soul

  69. F.... ....

    Aahhh chills time to stop lol

  70. S.... C....

    Aww Marina :3 no you are not the only one.

  71. J.... T....

    The tears keep coming...

  72. G.... W....

    MARINAAAAA

  73. M.... ....

    I listened to this for about 15 seconds and then I just chundered everywah. I was like "take that you monotone want-wit. 1-nil"

  74. h.... b....

    i get those chills to all of there songs

  75. C.... G....

    the chills i get during this song tho...

  76. F.... G....

    Fucking chills man!

  77. H.... ....

    When people say music is art, i think they meant La Dispute.

  78. S.... ....

    I'm trying to hold the tears back x'c, so fucking beautiful!!!

  79. R.... ....

    Like this comment if you came here because of marina Joyce

  80. A.... J....

    I cried too

  81. R.... D....

    I love u marina

  82. M.... J....

    Please don't tell me I'm the only one crying my freaking heart out at this song after reading the lyrics whilst listening.

  83. W.... ....

    Chills...

  84. G.... E....

    The cancer is furious, but our son is brazilian.

  85. J.... S....

    I love the way that he writes his lyrics. All of his songs tell a story to follow yet are poetic. All the songs have a chaotic structure kind that reminds me of the time signatures of bands like the Blood Brothers. Wow La Dispute, keep up the gold.

  86. S.... V....

    Can't listen to this song without crying

  87. j.... ....

    What.. This is so.... depressing...

  88. i.... p....

    January 19. The worst date EVER!

  89. b.... s....

    I love this song!

  90. r.... ....

    I have never really felt so many sivers from just one 3 and a half minuet song

  91. P.... ....

    me, too
    p.s. love the shirt man, MCR is my favorite band along side La Dispute

  92. P.... ....

    I get the biggest shivers listening to this song. Well, really any of their songs because Jordan sings them with such passion. I love La Dispute.

  93. S.... ....

    This song made me tear a bit.. well my eyes got watery.. i have a fairly cold heart in a not cold way but i didnt almost cry because of the sadness of cancer nor for the death of this Andrew but this song means something to me but im not quite sure...

  94. B.... K....

    This reminds me of when my 3 year old brother had lymphoma cancer for 6 months and had to go through some horrible treatments.

  95. s.... k....

    They've mentioned the boy of Seven who die of cancer in this song and in our bruised bodies and the heart shrinks. Does anyone know why?

  96. m.... l....

    so much passion

  97. A.... B....

    Does anyone know where I can find a La Dispute tank top? They don't have one on their website.