La Dispute - Edward Benz, 27 Times Lyrics






I heard the old man’s voice break, stutter once then stop it. I heard
A sentence started confidently halted by the sudden absence of a word.
Stumbled and he sputtered trying to find it back, something once so simple gone now.
When he finally gave up told me, “Aw, it’s like hell getting old.”

When you came into the store, did you know you’d show me your scars?

I had a heavy heart, he carried a door, it’s shattered pane all wrapped in plastic and he asked if I could fix it, come by a little later help him put it back on hinges. “See, I’m far too old to lift it and it’s not for my house,
It’s my son’s.”

When you opened up the door, what is it you thought you’d find?

(Nobody flinch)

Later I came by and backed into the driveway. Got out to find him waiting there to lead me through the side yard to back behind the house where the door frame stood empty and helped me keep it steady while I hammered all the pins in then later on the porch we somehow got to talking, he told me of the house and how is son is schizophrenic so they purchased it for him, the medication working and they figured it would help him fit in-help him lead a normal life.

But the pills made him sleep too much. And he couldn’t keep a job as a Result so one day he just gave up on taking them.
And that day she had called you, he’d locked her outside of the house.

How quickly did you get there? And what were you thinking while walking up? What fears flashed in front of you, taunted you, walking to unlock the door?

I remember it, Ed. That story you told me came back clear tonight here while writing. And you should know the feeling never left me-the weight of my heart-when you showed me the scars on your arms, when I looked in your eyes and I heard what you said how you probably would’ve died were it not for to care for your daughter and wife. How he drove in the knife, still your son.

How you seemed to look through me to some old projector screen playing back the scene as you described it on a movie reel, as real as the minute when it happened, that memory moving behind me. That moment that changed you for good.

And he drove to the house and pulled into the driveway. Got out to find his wife waiting, frantic. She’d come by to check, found that pillbox was empty, went out to the pharmacy to fill up his prescription and came back to a locked door and could not get back in. She’d knocked and she’d knocked but he wasn’t responding.

You put the key into the lock and turned it. Felt the bolt slide away. Slowly open. Went into the hall, his son held a knife, standing off in the shadows, lunged forward and tackled him. Stabbing him over and over and breaking that window. He fled up the staircase. The ambulance came, stitched and filled him with blood while the cops took his son with his wires so tangled his father was a stranger.

And I sit in my apartment.
I’m getting no answers.
I’m finding no peace, no release from the anger.
I leave it at arms length.
I’m keeping my distance.
From hotels and Jesus and blood on the carpet.
I’m stomaching nothing.
I’m reaching for no one.
I’m leaving this city and I’m headed out to nowhere.
I carry your image.
Your grandfather’s coffin.
And Ed, if you hear me, I think of you often.
That’s all I can offer.
That’s all that I know how to give.





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La Dispute Edward Benz, 27 Times Comments
  1. J.... G....

    What I love about this album is that it's full of discomforting stories where you're always left with unease knowing that nothing changed significantly enough to save the characters from their situations. It's an album, I think, about the awful circumstances you see people live with in poverty and mental illness, and about then making them real for a privileged listener who simply wouldn't know better. It's "wildlife," reality, out in the wilderness of society. I always listen to it like Jordan, travelling across america, is collecting these stories and desperately trying to pull meaning and order from them. Sometimes he finds inspiration and resilience but what he never finds is peace. In reality, when you try to pull something positive from these situations, you always come away with more questions than answers. Usually, you're just left with more of that instinctive worry when you realize that these wonderful people who you meet have their lives hanging by a thread; yours hangs by a thread; and all the resilience you find has to come from within because the world sure isn't going out of its way to offer you any.
    Every story I hear on this album keeps me thinking, "what has to happen for life to improve for you," followed by the realization that it would be BIG changes. It would take recognition of systematic ills, rampant poverty, and mental illness, and I remember at the time I first heard this album, it felt completely hopeless. I don't know what I think now.
    We live in weird times, I feel a lot of overwhelming things because of it, and this album reminds me a lot about that.

  2. L.... C....

    Love u dad rip

  3. L.... C....

    Love u dad

  4. J.... G....

    While he was attacked by his son and was stabbed in his stomach and his back and his arms
    He showed me scars
    82 years old, told me, “I still have my daughter and my wife
    And I still have my life and my son.”

  5. E.... C....

    I've listened to a lot of different music, but none of the artistry I've encountered matches this group. I wish I could experience these guys for the first time over and over again.

  6. S.... O....

    I can’t believe I forgot about this band.. they saved me so many times.

  7. A.... J....

    Jordan dude.. omg man. I just put my phone down listening to that shit the woo. Holy fuck

  8. a.... b....

    i showed this band to my mom. i was expecting shed question my mental health for being into stuff like this. instead, she was interested in hearing more songs so we chilled and listened to la dispute for a while. mother daughter goals.

  9. M.... ....

    These lyrics partially hit just a bit too much close to him wat the fuck.

  10. R.... B....

    That ending takes the air out my lungs

  11. J.... P....

    He mentions the same guy in all our bruised bodies and hearts still shrinking..

  12. K.... P....

    "I leave it at arms length
    I'm keeping my distance
    from hotels, and jesus, and blood on the carpet
    I'm stomaching nothing
    I'm reaching for no one
    I'm leaving this city and I'm heading for nowhere
    I carry your image, your grandfather's coffin

    And ed if you hear me, I think of you often"

    These lyrics are so damn powerful, I get chills every time they play

  13. E.... C....

    As a person who has worked with the severely mentally ill for the past 9 years, this is one of the most powerful songs I've ever heard. I would just like to add however, that for every tragedy that occurs among our mentally ill population there is also a triumph.

  14. M.... ....

    “And Ed, if you hear me, I think of you often
    That’s all I can offer
    That’s all that I know how to give”

  15. T.... S....

    When ever I listen to this song i keep quit and stare at my screen...its so powerful i love this band and there music.

  16. u.... ....

    I'm getting no answers. i'm find no peace. no release from the anger. i leave it at arm's length, im keeping my distance

  17. X.... ....

    Edward Benz died on December 3rd at the age of 92. Survived by his wife, Daughter, and the son, Charles. Crazy the things you can find out.

    X.... ....

    Holy fucking shit I found him. Thats so god damn fucking sad fuck

  18. F.... C....

    Edward just recently passed away December 3rd... Chilling.

    F.... C....

    I saw that too. Searched his name seeing if there was a news story and found his obituary.

    F.... C....

    Oh man I'm so sad now. Makes me wonder how his family is doing, including his son

  19. A.... P....

    God dammit. I found myself here when a cute girl I've been talking to on tinder sent me this song. How do I tell her her tastes are garbage? Do I lie? Should I pretend I didn't laugh as soon as the vocals started? I feel like I'm in highschool again. Fuck.

  20. M.... R....

    Heavy chills at the ending every time

  21. m.... ....

    This is still my favourite of theirs.

  22. �.... ....

    "Shattered pane (pain) all wrapped in plastic" is one of the best, strongest lines ever. Genious word play, how can it be unintentional?

    And "I had a heavy heart, he carried a door", how he is comparing their weight.. "with his wires so tangles his father was a stranger" everything is so painful and amazing. This song is a masterpiece

  23. _.... ....

    And Edd if you hear me... I think of you often. That's all I can offer, that's all that I know how to give.

  24. L.... ....

    This album has been my favourite for years an years but there are certain tracks Ive just skipped over and never got around to listening to (weird/bad habit I know) and I listened to this song for the first time today and I was in tears in public because my brother, who lives with my father, has been suffering from depression/schizophrenia for a bit now and is always very focused on taking it out on my father. just the serendipity of hearing this song Ive skipped over for years just as this is going on in our lives, I dont know what made me listen to this song today and at this point in my life after ignoring it for so long, I feel weird

    L.... ....

    Amazing. It's seriously amazing what songs can do to you.

  25. �.... ....

    Ed, we all think of you often. It's all that we know how to give.

    �.... ....

    He just passed away on the 3rd.

  26. P.... V....

    This song gave me the chills

  27. I.... A....

    Nobody flinch

  28. O.... ....

    I am binge listening to la dispute rn, and this is prolly one of my faces. Music you can feel .

    O.... ....

    Same. its rare that music can make you relate and fee; this well on so many songs

  29. J.... K....

    I just wanted to say, Schizophrenics are not violent, and being Schizophrenic does not make someone violent. Amazing song in every way though. They describe the paranoia quite well, and the effects of the medicines.

    J.... K....

    Not all Schizophrenics are violent, but they can be. Generalizing either way is never a good idea.

    J.... K....

    I don't think it's a generalisation. This song is about one particular case.

    J.... K....

    This song is based on a true story. He's not referring to all schizophrenics, just this man in particular.

    J.... K....

    My boyfriend has schizophrenia and is on probation rn because he attacked a kid whom he thought they were after him. Not all are violent but people with this mental illness do have a certain breaking point.

    J.... K....

    Schizophrenics are some ridiculous % more likely to be violent. This original comment is effectively wrong.

  30. K.... m....

    Is it called Edward Benz, 27 times because he was stabbed 27 times?

    K.... m....

    Kiss me hard .before you go *gasp* like julius ceaser!

  31. P.... S....

    I have a question. Who's telling the story? It is the man who has stabbed, but was dead, wasn't he?

    P.... S....

    OK. I have so much to learn.
    I saw then for the first time at Arctangent this summer.
    I was completely unfamiliar and just slightly happy on LSD.
    Needless to say it was impactful.
    Have listened to it all but still trying, in small doses, to get the meanings.
    I had no idea there were thematic chapters within.
    Thanks for the reply. :)

    P.... S....

    Someone below asserts that Ed was stabbed 27 times? Do you concur [you mention it being an allsuion to King Park]?
    I used to work in operating theatres and surviving that is deeply improbable.

    P.... S....

    @Jonathan Neale he was stabbed 27 times throughout his arms, torso, and legs.

    P.... S....

    Fuckballs. He's had better days.
    Ok thanks again dude. Interesting stuff.

    P.... S....

    okayokay here's my theory:
    obviously the meds were working but the kid didn't like the side affects so he suddenly stopped taking them. a family member visited to see how he was doing (didn't see him) and noticed he had no more medicine so they went and got more for him. after edward came back, he managed to get in as the house was locked but the kid, since he'd suddenly stopped his medication, was having hallucinations and thought his dad was an intruder and stabbed him- 27 times.

  32. M.... S....

    shit (cries)

  33. J.... R....

    Literally the best band I've ever heard. ;-; What should we call ourselves? Like MCR has killjoy's. What should we have?

    J.... R....

    y.Sincere i agree, but it's not necessarily something we have to broadcast. it can be strictly within this fanbase or even only in this comment section, we don't have to tell anyone else. idk

    J.... R....

    A year later and I'm still with open spaces

    J.... R....

    Sunflower Void the reason ive drifted from mcr was the fanbase

    J.... R....

    Marco De La Cruz i agree

    J.... R....

    Please don't do this. I'm begging you, don't make this a fangirl/fandom thing. I enjoy MCR and have nothing against them or their fans, but I just really don't want this to be a thing - because it doesn't need to be. It's just excellent music.

  34. G.... B....

    My sister is mentally ill and she tried to stab my dad back in March. She'd had little outbursts my whole life and it always felt like we were all waiting for some breaking point. There were no places to send her, and not a lot we could do as far as getting her help other than just medication. My dad managed to get the knives away from her and the police came so quickly and took her away and she spent 3 days in jail, she wouldn't eat anything and she was really sickly looking by the time my parents visited. They got the district attorney to change the charges so she was just in a mental hospital instead of jail. She was really well behaved there though so she got released, and they said they'd try and find a host home for her so that we didn't have to worry about her being a danger. 6 months later and they still haven't found one. I worry so much sometimes it'll happen again, and everyone will be sorry it happened even though they didn't do shit, and my dad will be dead.

    People never really talk about how hard it can be to live with mentally ill family members. Not that it isn't hard to be mentally ill as well. I guess I just wanted to say how much this song means to me on a personal level.

    G.... B....

    I understand that, I had a cousin like that. I remember him getting sick when I was really young. I was maybe 6 and one time he took my baby doll and slammed a hole in the wall with it at my great grandparents house. I feel bad cause him getting sick ruined my aunt's marriage and now she struggles so much to take care of him. I can see why she doesn't want to leave him in the state hospital since it is her only child but I worry about her since she's nearly 60 and he keeps getting worse.

    G.... B....

    Personally I know the circumstance, but i dont think of it as burden friend, as long as your there for support, she'll be happy

    G.... B....

    i hope shes doing okay now :(

    G.... B....

    My brother is ill too, and he refuse the medication. He's talking a lot to himself and that's something we got used to, he's also having his periods of "obsessions", when his mind seems to be ocupied with certain thing for many, many days. And so he got obsessed with "killing". At first he was just mumbling things like "kill, kill, kill..." to himself or between normal sentences during our conversations and nobody even felt uneasy, that's just how things were. I wasn't shaken when we met outside the kitchen and there was a kitchen knife in his hand, he also kept repeating his "killing mantra". Now I tremble thinking about that memory, but living with schizophrenic person somehow makes you unable to judge their actions properly. Or judge them at all. Hearing about this and a few other details, it was his doctor who first noticed things are getting ugly, she got scared, said we're all in serious danger and that he have to go to the hospital immediately. Easier said than done. He would never go there on his own, we had to sneak out, call for an ambulance and have them forcefully take him there. But when they came, they actually very rudely refused, symphatizing with the poor guy, while openly saying that we're just trying to get rid of him cause he's ill. Mom showed them the refferal from his psychiatrist, but they ridiculed us again, saying that we're supposed to call for the police instead. After all they took him somehow, he got treatment and never had similar obsession again, but it really made me realise how helpless is the family of schizophrenic person. Sometime later I asked the police if it's true that I'm supposed to call them in similar cases, but no, absolutely not! I can call police AFTER someone gets stabbed, else it's just a sick person being sick at their home and there's nothing for them to do. So yea, helping someone ill is normal, but helping the family...? I was clearly told by the police and that guy from an ambulance that nobody cares.

    I was shocked when I first heard this song, and I still can't listen to it calmly. I don't think I like it, but it means a lot to me too.

  35. c.... ....

    I choke up every time I hear this song.

    c.... ....

    Yeah, there are several lines that make my heart squeeze and my tears overflow. Powerful song

  36. h.... p....

    correct me if im wrong, ed(ward benz) is the father that's stabbed 27 times? the "she" in the song is the wife/mother that got locked out when she went to the pharmacy? Jordan is playing the guy who fixes the door and he's narrating the story? i really want to understand this beautiful song.

    h.... p....

    +Same Mistakes That's it exactly. I don't know much about the band's outside lives but a lot of punk/hardcore bands have day jobs, he may very well be the one who fixed the door. Or he could be inserting himself as the role of narrator, I'm really in no position to say anything as truth.

    h.... p....

    this is a real story, Jordan is literally narrating himself in this song

    h.... p....

    +Harry Pearson Jordan worked at his uncle's hardware store with his cousin or brother i believe

    h.... p....

    +hippo “daughter of satan” potamus thats all correct, you can listen to his explanations if you watch the Conversations explanation

    h.... p....

    thanks :)

  37. P.... ....

    WHAT ABOUT THE COFFIN

  38. L.... E....

    yeah you are definitely not the only one who noticed that, pretty sure that a lot of their songs connect with stories interlocked

  39. v.... s....

    Am I only one who has noticed this? So, you know how in All Our Bruised Bodies by La Dispute, one of the lines is "While he was attacked by his son and was stabbed in his stomach and his back and his arms. He showed me scars." Connection? Or do I just think too much?

    v.... s....

    Photography Lover they referred to I See Everything and King Park in that song as well, I think it's cool.

    v.... s....

    that my friend, is the entire point... listen to the album as a whole

    v.... s....

    I was thinking that too! It's so crazy how overwhelming la dispute are

    v.... s....

    Jordan works at a hardware store, I believe. He references it in Rooms of the House, can't remember which song. Perhaps Extraordinary Dinner Party?? Are we just following emotional cues here lol. Sorry I'm late to the party ;)

    v.... s....

    vivian s most, if not all, of their songs are real stories. So I would assume yes.

  40. s.... ....

    this song is just so powerful...people don't realize how many actually go through this exact same thing...

  41. T.... ....

    First time I head this song was yesterday (I don't know why, LOVE La Dispute and seeing them in Philly next month). At work, which made it awkward because I started tearing up while listening to it because my step brother is Schizoeffective and I have gotten into a serious physical fight with him. Working in a State Mental Hospital doesn't help either, what with realizing perhaps a good chunk of patients there have the same story. 

  42. j.... s....

    my brother has schizophrenia i love him but im scared of what his thoughts will lead him to i can defend myself but my mother and father i dont know. i love this song but it makes me butthurt like what would i do shoot my brother seeing him attacking my mother or punch him to a pulp. He is dangerous we have tryed to admit him he has attacked people before but they wont him be admited the medicines not working. i am a grown man a war veteran its keeping me from leaving and making a family but i stay here because i feel like i am the only defense from my crazy brother that i love and my parents.

    j.... s....

    remember that its not about how you feel. he is the one who needs help. please believe in him and trust in him. hes your brother. love him. make sure you understand him and tell him you love him often. don't call him crazy, that's wrong. he's your brother. not a loony. your dear brother. give him a hug. heaven knows he needs it. if he doesn't like hugs, just tell him you love him. 

    j.... s....

    @Romano Godfreyo I dont think he meant that he doesnt love his brother or doesnt care about how he feels. I think he's just worried for his parents safety. When someone has a mental illness that makes them act out in violence on others, while it may not be their fault, theres nothing wrong about feeling scared for your safety, theirs, and those around them. I do agree that they should tell him they love him often and show support, but that doesnt mean they have to also let themselves get physically hurt in the process.

    j.... s....

    @StarwindWolf Yes, do take necessary precautions, but treat him as a human as you do. 

  43. B.... J....

    Holy shit this song gives me chills

  44. S.... W....

    awesome song! heard it in a coffee shop the other night.

    S.... W....

    What rad-ass coffee shop do you go to?

  45. A.... L....

    Oh and does anyone have any songs of theirs like this?

    A.... L....

    LIsten to their album "Wildlife" if you like this song you would like Kings Park.

    A.... L....

    King Park, All Our Bruised Bodies, I See Everything.

  46. A.... L....

    I wasnt really a fan of la daspute until I heard this song. Killer

  47. A.... H....

    This is perfect <3

  48. I.... ....

    @ImRemix yes he said in an interview that this one, king park and i see everything were all true stories

  49. b.... b....

    Listening to these lyrics close and picturing it all. So powerful holy crap.

  50. I.... ....

    is this a true story?

  51. V.... S....

    This song is perfect.
    The feels, man.

  52. A.... H....

    Holy shit this makes me cry becuase my bestfriend is schizophrenic and I know I would be the one with scars on my arms

  53. W.... B....

    Amazing! That's all I can say.

  54. D.... ....

    I prefer it this way.

  55. M.... L....

    This song is perfect❤

  56. T.... J....

    when people say songs are meaningless these days i just point them to la dispute and say your welcome

  57. p.... ....

    Truly my favorite song, ugh

  58. F.... ....

    lol
    1000th viewer :) <3

  59. J.... W....

    For some reason this video only has like 800 view. WTF society

  60. M.... M....

    Deeply Contimplative & AWEsome!!!
    THANK YOU LA DISPUTE!!!