Jon Lajoie - Alone In The Universe Lyrics




We're floating in space on the edge of time
In a universe that we can't define
Billions of stars in the endless night
Try to find purpose for our lives
Yet we still take the time (we still take the time)
Yes we always take the time

To masturbate oohhh
To milk the snake
Girls do the taco hand shake
I'm gonna hold my sausage hostage, tonight

Whether you're English, French, Japanese, or German
Whether you're at home or at a movie with Pee Wee Herman
We all take matters into our own hands
With the five finger army we invade our pants
We'd all be doing time (yes we'd all be doing time)
If it was a crime

To masturbate oohhh
To pull the hand brake
To play vagina DJ
She's gonna play country on the clitar, tonight

He burps his baby
She's putting on a puppet show
Our genitals are Juliet
Our hands are Romeo
He chokes his chicken
She tickles her camel toe
Our genitals are Ju...

That Marisa Tomei is hot

Our genitals are Juliet
Our hands are Romeo

I'm gonna play ball on team penis, tonight





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Jon Lajoie Alone In The Universe Comments
  1. Lynel Simpson

    I wonder if the title "Alone in the universe" suckered more people in for views than having a innuendo about masturbation as the title would have drawn in organically?

  2. Luis Otávio

    3:46
    Funny how years later we all would make the same comment after seing Spider-Man Homecoming

  3. Wade Ratliff

    This is, still 11 years since I first heard it the best thing on YouTube

  4. Royal Allred

    Great song funny fucking shit

  5. Alex Shappard

    2020 Hello there

  6. Ah, morre!!!

    It sounds like Coldplay.

  7. rhodigian

    how could he keep a straight face thru all the song?

  8. Inquisition31

    Glenn Beck posted an Article about a country singer overcoming his pornography addiction with god.

    So I shared this. I really REALLY hope they watch this. xD

    Rydoggy

    Jesus that guy sounds FUCKED. Hes a country singer with a porn addiction who thinks some magical being has the time to make sure he's not jerking it.

  9. TriviaBot

    Desperately want to google "Cumhog Millionaire", but at work atm so gotta wait. :(

  10. 220GB_C545 untypical

    Really bullshit but I love this clip! It very funny and creative XD!!!)))

  11. GotterVibez

    The english captions are so wrong hahahahahah

  12. Not Sure.

    This was 10 years ago.....jesus.

  13. Cody S.

    God.... The good days of YouTube.

  14. nothing at all

    😍😍those old times man look at the beaches , roads , fashion , weather

  15. KingXDragoon

    I really want to do karaoke with this song but sadly no DJs know about it

  16. Rui Gonçalves

    Miss you Jon

  17. nibbiful

    That Marissa Tomei...

  18. Murphy Chris

    Can't stop singing along 😜😍

  19. Graysage

    Real music before real music was a thing.

  20. Robsn l

    Drunk 7 beer, song s good

  21. Paige Cook

    With my five finger army I invade the thumbs up button

  22. Jesús Alarcón

    10 years.
    Congrats, Jon

  23. B-rad Graf

    Love Jon lajoie

  24. sinjun morris

    8th grade

  25. Yug Bois

    That chorus in the end is so nice

  26. Krzychu Śmietana

    Who is holding the sausage hostage in 2019?

    MassivePonyFan

    Everyone!

    D_ Clarke97

    Nostalgic

    Rydoggy

    I've jerked it 92 times today. And it's just after noon. Im going to keep going boys.

    Dylan Teichmann

    maybe in 2020

    coletrain411

    Boyyy we out here in 2020 repping dat emcee vaginer

  27. Jake Hartman

    Who wants to start a Jon Lajoie cover band with me 🤘

    MassivePonyFan

    I'd do it.

    Jake Hartman

    MassivePonyFan bet.

  28. Vlad the magnificent

    wait how does it have a 2010 song in the end?

  29. Vlad the magnificent

    10 years! happy birhday, dear song!

  30. Omnipotat0

    Play cuntry on the clitar lol

  31. Daniel Assayag

    Your better than Coldplay

  32. Nalu

    ten years just passed ladies and gents ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  33. Karan Vito

    I am moved.

  34. Lots of different stuff, I guess?

    03:46 Jon predicted Aunt May lol

  35. Charlyoseayo

    Still here in 2019

  36. Joshua Albuen Secoya

    This is so hilarious

  37. King Of Face Stabs

    every time i listen to this song im like "oh yea thats what its about"

  38. Cyraxas007

    2018 anyone?

  39. Madcircle

    That beach will have a zombie chorusman some day

  40. Chrnomeerr

    2018 and 4eva

  41. Giorgi Nebieridze

    Feeding the seagulls eh?

  42. SicknessDDOEU

    The beginning is simply beautiful. So well put. The rest is hilarious.

  43. Brooklyn3955

    Why did this lead me to Tom Cruise.

  44. ChaosCollection

    This song has been breaking a lot of ice for me when picking up girls online. Best wingman ever.

  45. RJDCR

    damn , I miss'd this.......thanx 4 the wake up call Jon...Rock onnn

    RJDCR

    ...you played 4/20 in Sac, thas jus kool...as.....fuck......

  46. hutyutyu hutyutyu

    Fuck I must urbane sausage

  47. Timo Hartmann

    i think he recorded it faster and slowed it later ... 1.5 sounds 100% real, standard sounds awwkward =)

  48. Just another Vegan on Youtube

    Damn I haven't heard this since like senior year of high school in '09

  49. Steven s

    I swear I'm not even gay but he is just the most beautiful man I've ever seen. Is that gay?

    The god bulit like Budda

    It is if you masturbated

  50. Tudor Renegade

    4:47 you playing in Totonto ? Do you know what tonto means ? Tatanka !

  51. Abendschein

    1.5x speed.

    Reminds me of sound garden

  52. Dan J

    Nailed it

  53. Brad S

    I CAME HERE TO CUM IN MY PANTS AND I DID

  54. Pancake Tits

    this is the 2000's to a t.

  55. Catalin Ionascu

    I thought it was a cuntry song... I was not pissapointed.

  56. Vincent Trudel

    This is Jon's most cleverly written song by far IMO







    Besides Show Me Your Genitals of course

  57. Loskamilos2

    9 years still gold

  58. GotterVibez

    3:44.. that Theresa May is so Ho0oO0ot

  59. David Bonner

    This song is harder to masturbate to than expected. He needs to up his game.

  60. Denis Bátovský

    Jon please come to slovakia and i swear to you ri will be the best videoclip you ever had ...... Jon if you have a goood camera please brind it ---- and if you really reading this pôese let me now for the videoclip

  61. sa sa

    really good song.. I almost cry...

  62. HeartYukitty

    Vagina DJ

  63. A.G. Kroeger

    Where have you gone, Jon? I miss you.

  64. Aaron James

    Surely if exo-planets are so far away, say 50 million light years then we are seeing them as they were 50 million years ago and because of that there is a chance the alien life has developed there.

  65. Mike thompson

    hold the sausage hostage *killed* me

  66. Shaswat Manu

    Always makes me cry

  67. TheLostPages

    Still a big fan, many years ago. :)

  68. hunter agent

    what the fuck man

  69. Reckless and Relentless

    We're floating in space on the edge of time
    In a universe that we can't define
    Billions of stars in the endless night
    Trying to find purpose for our lives
    Yet we still take the time (we still take the time)
    Yes we always take the time

    To masturbate oohhh
    To milk the snake
    Girls do the taco hand shake
    I'm gonna hold my sausage hostage, tonight

    Whether you're English, French, Japanese, or German
    Whether you're at home or at a movie with Pee Wee Herman
    We all take matters into our own hands
    With the five finger army we invade our pants
    We'd all be doing time (yes we'd all be doing time)
    If it was a crime

    To masturbate oohhh
    To pull the hand brake
    To play vagina DJ
    She's gonna play cuntry on the clitar, tonight

    He burps his baby
    She's putting on a puppet show
    Our genitals are Juliet
    Our hands are Romeo
    He chokes his chicken
    She tickles her camel toe
    Our genitals are Ju...

    That Marisa Tomei is hot

    Our genitals are Juliet
    Our hands are Romeo

    I'm gonna play ball on team penis, tonight

    Boviggy

    *cuntry on the clitar

  70. Joshua Hayes

    Happy faping!

  71. Leah Streader

    "she's gonna play country on the clitar tonight" XD

  72. Jack Hayes

    3:37 Looks at the time on an imaginary watch

  73. Родион Бабыкин

    hello from 2017

  74. Omar Hassan

    who is watching this in 2017

    MassivePonyFan

    2019 bud

  75. badbeezy02

    OG neckbeard anthem

  76. No Good

    This is so goood

  77. xasnly

    is this a parody?

    Hatujeme Let'splayery Hesky, Česky

    xasnly it is a psylosophical song that express how people wastes thier time by doing useless thing (al least thats what i think)

    xasnly

    but the tune sounds so good and is familiar like ive heard it before. if its not a parody of another song then its damn good

  78. MaxVidyStudios

    and on that note... off I go ;)

  79. Jordan W S

    High key thought your were gonna be singing "Seussical"

  80. Tony Dudester

    LoL. 😎👍

  81. LegatoProducciones

    He sounds like Stephen Malkmus!

  82. szpila92

    mfw someone acknowledges female masturbation
    My hero

    AlmostMyself

    Classic taco handshake

  83. tomlxyz

    Kinda looks/sounds like Yellow from Coldplay.

  84. Dwayne Peterson

    Hahahahahaha unique performer. Favourite

  85. f00ky3w2oob

    slow mo running down street ... much like certain bits of wolfie is fine videos
    :P

  86. Phillip Siq

    I often prefer girls that tickle the camel toe. hehe

  87. Vincent Trudel

    Set the speed to 1.5 or 2 and it makes the song sound really happy

    Im Pyrophobia

    best advice ever

    Mochilo Run

    hahahahaha magic, thanks mate

    Diego Martins

    Thank you

    MassivePonyFan

    Rip some of the audio though. 😂

  88. Hưng Đoàn Quang

    That Marisa Tomei comment...super topical as of 2016

  89. Dial Up

    come back pls

    Moe Lester

    Dial Up he is back

  90. LI KA FAI

    The eternal epic ~ I am using iphone gen100s, the time machine function allows me to leave comments on the past...

    now I wanna try out ICQ, see if I can find my grandma's mother playing it.

  91. Fabio Buzzo

    And Marisa Tomei stills HOOOT.

  92. Chief

    It's May of 2016 and I still love this song

    Loskamilos2

    2018 hello

  93. Nathan Oakley

    The universe is nonsense. The lights in the sky are not Suns. Just lights. We live on flat earth!

  94. Nathan Tutor

    This song really helped me through some tough times

    Incurablederp

    Nathan Tutor Through some "hard" times?

    John Smith

    Incurablederp, I have expected your joke, lol

  95. ThePowerExcess

    I aint got no time for this song.

  96. GabeLogan

    sounds like a Feeder song

    Lucas Alves

    +Gabor dude, yellow from Coldplay. dah

  97. Ryan Dwyer

    jerking off in a theatre to marisa tomei is the life

    Arvind

    This song was the first thing that crossed my mind during Civil War.