Jon Cozart - Progressive Christmas Carols Lyrics
[God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen:]
We wish you happy holidays, whoever you may be
So merry Christmas, Kwanzaa, Chanukah, or heck all three
We've modernized these jingles for the massive bourgeoisie
Love, The Updated Christmas Carol Team
[Santa Clause is Coming to Town:]
You better not judge, you better not hate
Better not bully or discriminate
Progressive Santa's coming to town
He's making a list of gluten free foods
He won't take a peek at J-Law's nudes
Progressive Santa's coming to town
He's 50 different races
And all for tax reform
He'll protect all your children
You'd better watch out... Too far? Okay.
[Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer:]
Rudolph the red nosed reindeer (reindeer)
Had an advantageous nose (he outlived his friends)
He passed his bright red traits on (traits on)
Darwin said that's how it goes (evolution's not a theory)
[Mary Did You Know:]
Mary did you know that your baby boy supports the NRA
Mary did you know that your baby boy is white
Did you know-
[Deck the Halls:]
Deck the halls with kujichagulia
Kwa wa wa wa wa wa wa wanza
Give zawadi, hang benderas
Kwa wa wa wa wa wa wa wanza
Throw your hands up in the air-uh
[You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch:]
You're a green one, Mr. Grinch
You're lacking in finesse
That greenish epidermis determines your success
Mr. Grinch
Racist Whos constrain you to the issues they continue to suppress
You're an outlier, Mr. Grinch
You give the Whos a fright
They say your heart is 3/5ths normal,
You're either wrong or white
Mr. Grinch
Don't walk the streets of Whoville you might fight a cop the Whos will not indict
[White Christmas:]
I'm dreaming of a racially ambiguous holiday
[Away In A Manger:]
Away in a manger with Jesus and crew
His schmeckle got cut cause hey Christ was a Jew
[O Holy Night:]
O holy night, the stars are brightly shining
It is the night Jesus did something holy
(I don't know the whole story)
Joseph watched golf (Right?), his leather chair reclining
As Mary birthed a child, I think a donkey was involved (Any help here? God?)
Three wise men came, with GPS they found him
Christ lied in a barn, as his omniscient baby-daddy tucked him in
Jesus crawled on his knees
His mom shared it on snapchat
O bright device!
O night, when Christ celebrated Christmas
Other Lyrics by Artist
- Jon Cozart - 2016 Sucks Song
- Jon Cozart - Politiclash
- Jon Cozart - Politiclash 2
- Jon Cozart - Progressive Christmas Carols
- Jon Cozart - Rip Vine: A Song
- Jon Cozart - Share The Love
- Jon Cozart - Star Wars In 99 Seconds
- Jon Cozart - Tourist: A Love Song From Paris
- Jon Cozart - Vine vs YouTube: The Song
- Jon Cozart - White Boy Rappin!
- Jon Cozart - YouTube Culture
- Jon Cozart - Movie Villain Medley
- Jon Cozart - Lord Of The Rings In 99 Seconds
- Jon Cozart - After Ever After
- Jon Cozart - After Ever After 2
- Jon Cozart - After Ever After 3
- Jon Cozart - Boy Band Parody
- Jon Cozart - Cup Song
Rand Lyrics
Last Posts
Beyonce Shakes the Internet with Surprise Super Bowl Tease and New Music Release
Beyoncé once again set the digital world abuzz with her latest musical surprise. In an unforgettable move during the Super Bowl, a Verizon commercial served...
Watch Usher’s Full Super Bowl 2024 Halftime Performance Usher, Alicia Keys, Jermaine Dupri, Ludacris,
At the 2024 Super Bowl, Usher redefined the halftime show with a dazzling, career-highlight performance that will be remembered for years to come. Taking the...
Usher Unveils ‘Coming Home’: A Journey Through Sound and Soul in His Latest Album
Spanning three decades in the music industry, Usher has consistently mesmerized fans with his soulful tunes and magnetic performances. However, his most recent project, Coming...
Jon Cozart Progressive Christmas Carols Comments
i just rewatched this. last time i watched it i was in year 4. back then i just thought there where 4 of them and spend soo long trying to figure out if he had three brothers or not.
just me ?
How many Christians/Catholics did this offend? 😂 and why am I watching this 6 years later
great voice and amazing lyrics, funny and relevant - Ya got some talent boy !! (young man )
hi it’s february 2020 and this is still relevant 👌
The fact that you're making fun of a religion in this video is so disrespectful. You can't use Christian songs and rewrite them and put information that is not true.
Why not?
Politics and Religion. not just religion
Everytime I watch this, I spend the first view looking at the reflection and then rewatch looking at Jon.
This song is so much funnier now that I'm not 11 years old XD
I was today years old when understand the "as long as they were born"...
Yeah, let's say I was... confused
For the massive bourgeois (activate communism)
"as Mary birthd a child I think a donkey was involved".... My absolut favorit line 😀
Can we get a full version of the deck the halls one
this makes a lot mores sense than when i was 9
Why does this reminds me of Sander Sides' 12 days of Christmas?
2:17 he went there. he went there and bought property.
Is it bad that I couldn't tell whether or not this was satire until the racially ambiguous holiday?
mary did you know needs to be a song by itself
when you’re on your 284728th watch of this video and you just now notice the silhouette on the right side of the video in the window
Is this a joke, or is he sirius?
Wolf Treetruck All of this is a joke
Too many leftist agendas if you would have just updated him to make him sound better and cool but just left us agendas don't make it better I don't like it
Excellent !
I got my 9th grade history teacher to play this in class because of the 3/5ths compromise part and I was so proud of Jon while my whole class realized this wasn't 4 different people singing haha
this is about five years old and it still bangs
jon tell us your secrets
Damn it’s been 6 years and still know all the words
Oh my god I watched this like 3 years ago and I just got the 3/5ths joke jfc
You're great!!
if this is progressive then why do I feel excluded
Happy new decade!
When I read this I though of Progressive like the insurance company and got so confused
Ok so imma be this person but anyone watching in 2020 its literally like 3 am on new years
I’m back! It’s my yearly tradition now!
Progressive Deck the Halls words
kujichagulia- choosing for oneself
kwanza- first
give zawadi- give "gift"
hang bendera- hang flag
language:Swahili
Your songs make me happy. Thank you!
magfuckingnificent
the last one was the best. lol
Well as long as they’ve been born
You better watc...
Too far? Ok.
I was not expecting an abortion jab.
OH MY GOSH, THIS WAS EVERYTHIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!!!!! :D 💚🌺✨
Jesus supports the NRA? HELL YEAH!!! I knew I liked him.
It was the night that Jesus celebrated Christmas.
Yessir, that's the line.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=520fl3puFzc
I want sheet music for this!
I holy night is definitely my version lmao
Where did he go?
Now you know one of these songs inspired the others, so which was the song that originally underwent this change?
can i get a burger, thank
*it was the night, that Jesus did something holy*
Its literally an hour till the 26th, Youtube is insane
👍👍👍👍👍👍
The deck the halls one was DOPE
very insulting
All jokes aside his voice is angelic
Christmas Day crew?
I swear to god it gets better and better every year
Especially now that I actually understand what all of it means....
This is racist.
They should all be different races, genders, sexual orientations, religions, and shoild be overweight.
REEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
merry crisler
merry christmas 2019 y'all! can't believe i've been listening to this for six years now
I miss being a child and not understanding any of this.. But same time now I get it all and know memes.
It’s christmas 2019 now and my yearly visit here. Fuck, and it hits me every single time again. What? Everything about it. Just can’t describe it else.
This is somehow more controversial
merry christmas guys :)
When you know these better than the originals lol
I've watched this every holiday season since you've posted it. Please never take it down, it makes my Christmas every year.
5 years later this is still gold
What’s the original song of the first one called?
"God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" aka my childhood Christmas jam
Who can see Jon and theOdd1sOut being either the same person or best friends
I think this is progressive as intended, but also cursed.
I really wish I knew how he edited this... any help??
He probably recorded all four parts of the song together as an audio track. Then did some lip singing in front of a green screen for each part.
It's been 5 years and I'm still in love with The Grinch one 💚
👍👍👍
“Mary did you know that your baby boy is white” kills me
Courteney Skye even though he’s Jewish
#trump2020
HailMe damn strait
“they say your heart is 3/5 normal” oop- colonial america who?
_Bold of you to assume Santa is a he._
His voice is so damn orgasmic
Want to know something it's quite extraordinary ever since Barack Obama became president the whole country has went insane
perfect
The ad for this was a Christian website saying the rapture’s coming... well it’s been 5 years so I’m still waiting for everyone to go to hell like I told them to.
E W as a Christian, I can safely say, that’s unlikely
It's more low-key than you think, just watch what comes out of the Oval office.
This is the quality content I come here for
This video will never fail to make me laugh 😂
This was so cringy, oh my god
Sayan Ghosh cool. Thanks for your opinion that no one asked for.
@AshMakesVideos no problem. Thanks for your reply which no one asked for either
This is one of my yearly Christmas traditions
2019 anyone???
the o holy night bit gave me goosebumps
It’s time.
Did anyone else sing along? This is the first time I watched this, this year, but I watched it so many times in the past few years that it all came flooding back.
This song has become part of our winter holiday tradition. It must be played at least once a day to really get into the holiday spirit.
I hope this is just a joke. I dont understand this progressive recreation of Christmas songs. Christmas is a Christian holiday celebrated by most of the western world. The songs are not meant to be inclusive for Islamic or Jewish holidays, that are admittedly less represented because they are the minority, they also have their own holidays but I dont see them getting punished into being inclusive. So instead of changing Christian/Christmas stuff just make your own damn songs.
Grand Duke Pigeon yes it’s a joke dude. I agree, progressive culture is dumb. they also want christians to say “happy holidays” and not “merry Christmas” when I’m sure they’d never say the same thing to a jew.
I mean, snow is white. That has nothing to do with race. White Christmas because of snow.
How did I discover this just now? It's so perfectly aligns with our today's politics while still showing incredible talent!
...So I sing, and one of our choirs was doing You're A Mean One, Mr Grinch (not mine, it was the men's choir). It was my favorite song in the show. Before I heard them sing it in full, I completely thought the words including "you're an outlier, Mr Grinch." It's only now that I remember where I picked that up
when it said progressive i thought it meant the company
God the last part gets me like chills every time omg
turned off after 1 minute...progressives are commies.
you know, now that im not 14 this makes so much more sense..... happy holidays folks
Just coming to visit before leaving the decade :)
1:42
You're a green one, Mr. Grinch.
You're lacking in finesse.
That greenish epidermis determines your success,
Mr. Grinch.
Racist Whos constrain you to the issues they continue to supress.
You're an outlier, Mr. Grinch.
You give the Whos a fright.
They say your heart is 3/5 normal.
You're either wrong or white,
Mr. Grinch,
Don't walk the streets of Whoville, you might fight a cop the Whos will not indict.
Edit: Just had to fix some spelling errors.
aw hells yes, thank you YouTube recommendations
Are you gay or lesbian i cant tell
He's bi
Everyone is really out here coming back to this video every year because when you listen to actual christmas music his versions get stuck in your head.
I can literally never sing white Christmas because of him.
His version of white Christmas has been stuck in my head for a month