J. Geils Band, The - No Anchovies, Please Lyrics




This is the story of a young couple in Portland, Maine.
While waiting for her husband Don to return home from work, she reaches for
a can of anchovies. As she spreads the tiny fish across a piece of lettuce,
she notices a small note at the bottom of the can. Written on it is a
telephone number. Curious, she dials, and is told, "Don't move, lady, we'll
be right over." Placing the phone back on the hook, she turns to see three
smartly dressed men standing in her kitchen doorway. Before she realizes
what is happening to her, she is rolled tightly in long sheets of cellophane,
transported to an international airport, and placed on a waiting jet-liner.
All this being too much for her to comprehend, she passes out.
Upon awakening, she finds herself in a strange, foreign speaking nation
("Dalas nekcihc dna tihs nekcihc neewteb ecnereffid eht wonk ot suineg a
ekat t'nseod ti."). Alone, fearing her escape impossible, she seeks comfort
in the arms of a confidential agent. With the trace of her kiss still warm
upon his lips, he betrays her to the hands of three scientists who are
engaged in diabolical, avant-garde experiments previously performed only on
insects and other small, meaningless creatures. Using her as their subject,
they are delighted with the results. For the first time, a human being is
transformed into a ("shhh... it's secret").
Meanwhile, back in Portland, Maine...
Her husband Don, now chain-smoking 40 packs of cigarettes a day, sits at a
local bar and has a few beers with the regulars. Bored, everyone's
attention turns to the television set that just hangs from the wall.
("Welcome to Bowling for Dollars"). Suddenly, crazy Al says, "S-say, Don,
there sure is something familiar about that bowling ball." To which a
terrified Don replies, "Oh my God! That bowling ball! It's my wife!"
And the lesson we learn from this story is, next time you place your order,
don't forget to say, "No anchovies please."





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J. Geils Band, The No Anchovies, Please Comments
  1. Peabody's Audio Gems

    No Anchovies Please

    Rob Sargent

    First saw them in Boston in 72

  2. David Salucco

    I wish I could go back to this time of my life

  3. Sheri Gentry

    Heard this on the radio when it came out & we were like WTF!?

  4. Blood Orange

    Beefstew lol

  5. TrinsCabbage

    I can't possibly put into words what I feel right now

  6. Avery Sommer

    it's not a rick roll

  7. FishHeadSalad

    Backwards talk @1:01 "It doesn't take a genius to know the difference between chicken shit and chicken salad! Wow!"

    Tina Mcbride

    What? How'd u play it back? vinyl?

  8. Josiah Cline

    What the literal Hell did I just listen to?

    Michael Otten

    BlastArcher men in black b4 men in black!!

    Stu Redman

    Josiah Cline : Imagine what they were smoking when they came up with that.

  9. Zachary Morin

    Sounds like Beefheart/Zappa

    Ron Ruff

    I heard this on the local college radio station 40 years ago... All this time, I was searching for it on Zappa albums!!!! Thank you, Internet!

  10. Pat Leasure

    Curious, she dials....

  11. Michael Otten

    This is back before life got sooo SERIOUS!!!

  12. John Mijo

    Poor Don, smoking 40 packs a day you should really be dead :p