Guthrie, Arlo - The Pause Of Mr. Claus Lyrics
This next song we're going to dedicate to a great American
organization. Tonight I'd like to dedicate this to our boys in the FBI.
Well, wait a minute. It's hard to be an FBI man. I mean, first
of all, being an FBI man, you have to be over 40 years old.
organization to be that much of a bastard. It's true. You just
can't join, you know. It needs an atmosphere where your
natural bastardness can grow and develop and take a
meaningful shape in today's complex society.
But that's not why I want to dedicate the song to the FBI. I
mean, the job that they have to do is a drag. I mean, they have
to follow people around, you know. That's part of their job.
Follow me around.
run out of gasoline. I pull over to the side of the road. They
gotta pull over too - make believe that they ran out, you know.
I go to get some gasoline. They have to figure out whether
they should stick with the car or follow me. Suppose I don't
come back and they're stayin' with the car.
Or if I fly on the airplanes, I could fly half fare because I'm 12
to 22. And they gotta pay the full fare. But the thing is that
when you pay the full fare, you have to get on the airplane
first, so that they know how many seats are left over for the
half fare kids. Right? And sometimes there aren't any seats
left over, and sometimes there are, but that doesn't mean that you have to go.
Suppose that he gets on and fills up the last seat, so you can't
get on. Then he gets off then you can get on. What's he gonna do?
Well, it's a drag for him. But that's not why I want to dedicate the song to the FBI.
During these hard days and hard weeks, everybody always
has it bad once in a while. You know, you have a bad time of
it, and you always have a friend who says "Hey man, you
ain't got it that bad. Look at that guy." And you at that
guy, and he's got it worse than you. And it makes you feel
better that there's somebody that's got it worse than you.
But think of the last guy. For one minute, think of the last
guy. Nobody's got it worse than that guy. Nobody in the
whole world. That guy...he's so alone in the world that he
doesn't even have a street to lay in for a truck to run him over.
He's out there with nothin'. Nothin's happenin' for that cat.
And all that he has to do to create a little excitement in his
own life is to bum a dime from somewhere, call up the FBI.
Say "FBl?", they say "Yes", say "I think Uncle Ho and Chair-
man Mao and their friends are comin' over for dinner" [click]
Hang up the phone.
And within two minutes, and not two minutes from when he
hangs up the phone, but two minutes from when he first put
the dime in, they got 30,000 feet of tape rollin'; files on tape;
pictures, movies, dramas, actions on tape. But then they send
out a half a million people all over the entire world, the globe,
they find out all they can about this guy.
'Cause there's a number of questions involved in the guy. I
mean, if he was the last guy in the world, how'd he get a dime
to call the FBI? There are plenty of people that aren't the last
guys that can't get dimes. He comes along and he gets a dime.
I mean, if he had to bum a dime to call the FBI, how was he
gonna serve dinner for all of those people? How could the
last guy make dinner for all those people. And if he could
make dinner, and was gonna make dinner, then why did he call the FBI?
They find out all of those questions within two minutes. And
that's a great thing about America. I mean, this is the only
country in the world...l mean, well, it's not the only country
in the world that could find stuff out in two minutes, but it's
the only country in the world that would take two minutes for that guy.
Other countries would say "Hey, he's the last guy...screw
him", you know? But in America, there is no discrimination,
and there is no hypocrisy,'cause they'll get anybody.
And that's a wonderful thing about America.
And that's why tonight I'd like to dedicate it to every FBI
man in the audience. I know you can't say nothin', you know,
you can't get up and say "Hi!" cause then everybody knows
that you're an FBI man and that's a drag for you and your friends.
They're not really your friends, are they? I mean, so you can't
get up and say nothin' 'cause other wise, you gotta get sent
back to the factory and that's a drag for you and it's an
expense for the government, and that's a drag for you.
We're gonna sing you this Christmas carol. It's for all you
bastards out there in the audience tonight. It's called "The Pause of Mr. Claus".
Why do you sit there so strange?
Is it because you are beautiful?
You must think you are deranged
Why do police guys beat on peace guys?
You must think Santa Clause weird
He has long hair and a beard
Giving his presents for free
Why do police guys mess with peace guys?
Let's get Santa Clause 'cause;
Santa Clause has a red suit
He's a communist
And a beard, and long hair
Must be a pacifist
What's in the pipe that he's smoking?
Mister Clause sneaks in your home at night.
He must be a dope fiend, to put you up tight
Why do police guys beat on peace guys?
Other Lyrics by Artist
- Guthrie, Arlo - Can't Help Falling In Love
- Guthrie, Arlo - Under Cover Of Night
- Guthrie, Arlo - The Mystic Journey
- Guthrie, Arlo - Face Of Time
- Guthrie, Arlo - Moon Song
- Guthrie, Arlo - Red River Valley
- Guthrie, Arlo - Utah Carroll
- Guthrie, Arlo - I Ride An Old Paint
- Guthrie, Arlo - Woody's Rag / Hard Work
- Guthrie, Arlo - When The Cactus Is In Bloom
- Guthrie, Arlo - You Are The Song
- Guthrie, Arlo - Doors To Heaven
- Guthrie, Arlo - Wake Up Dead
- Guthrie, Arlo - Amazing Grace
- Guthrie, Arlo - All Work Together
- Guthrie, Arlo - Alice's Rock & Roll Restaurant
- Guthrie, Arlo - Abiyoyo
- Guthrie, Arlo - A Little This N That
Rand Lyrics
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Guthrie, Arlo The Pause Of Mr. Claus Comments
I'm ok with cloning if its Arlo being cloned.
He is pure Genius!
Thanks Arlo Guthrie.
And they're even worse now than they were then.
So, 16 FBI agents saw this, eh?
@Adam Rich Arlo one said before a song in concert " Folk song are serious. Pete Seeger told me that. I said right!" Then he sang something like this. Still love City of New Orleans, Gabriel Mother's Highway Blues #16 gardensong song Darkest Hour, Strangest Dream. Him singing This Land Is Your Land.
Funniest singer I have listened to.
Arlo was my mom's cousin some times removed. He is just a cutie with his talent and heritage make him one of a kind and most of all just cute as a spotted pup.i wish he was my kissing cousin
related though dad Woody or mom Marjiorie?
Arlo has the best humor I've ever heard.
I First heard this Song in 1977 in Hilo Hawaii, My best man Brad Freeman was a DJ at KIPA one of three radio stations in Hilo, his show was called "Music for a Change" I was going through the records and I found this record by Arlo Guthrie and it was stamped "NOT FOR SALE" "Promotional Use Only" So we played it on the air and the listeners loved it. I recorded on a cassette tape along with two versions of the Motorcycle song and of course Alice's Restaurant. 30 years later I shared it with Ricky who Posted it for my 10 years later on my birthday. Aloha, Tony
That was beautiful, Arlo. My dad was an FBI agent and he would agree with you about his job being a drag. He really didnt like it.
A brilliant performer. Fantastic.
My favorite Arlo Guthrie song. I agree about always feeling better after hearing him. He adds hope and sarcasm. What a wonderful combination.
Adore Arlo Guthrie. Woody too.
Merry xmas 2018
Hi, blunderite1 here. I often come back to this youtube video to take a listen, and to see the traffic. wow, 77,516 views. I was always curious as to why, no matter how long I waited, this video always was the first selection on the search, and why I never had problems with youtube licensing agreements. Tonight I saw that Arlo must have certified this video. I honestly only made it because, on the cd/album, they split the story from the song. So I edited them back together, used an Arlo pic and voila. Arlo approved!!!!
Arlo Guthrie Thx for what you left us...we aint got it that bad after all,99%of Worry Never Happens its just worry Merry Christmas 2018
This song is dedicated to the 13 bastards who disliked this video.
Wood Guthrie
Now it's up to 16 (Thanksgiving 2019).
of course, the word "bastard" that he uses repeatedly in this routine is no longer considered politically acceptable. times change, language changes, consciousness changes.
And now the tape is rolling for you,lol
@James anoia It's been rolling for decades!
Nothing like Christmas music. I recommend posting this lovely classic to your Book of Faces wall today ;)
Hey feds, lookie here; I'm playing subversive Christmas songs again; better come get me!
Christmas is not Christmas without this song, just like Thanksgiving is not Thanksgiving without "Alice's Restaurant".
Ever since I was a kid... What a funny guy. Thank you, Arlo.
This is so perfect for the current times. Too bad about that, ey?
Yeah that McCabe and Comey are real shitholes!
there is actually something comforting in that. he wrote this in real time, but hindsight, not so bad. we can hope.
For all you bastards out in the audience
One of many favorites from Arlo...
Timeless timeliness, given the FBI in 2017.
Still applies after all these years!
Favorite! I got arrested some years back after doing this song at a 4th of July Smoke-In.
the great Christmas story
Arlo takes 8 minutes to sing a 2 1/2 minute song and we love it.
wavygr wavy gravy was the man. And yes we do!!!:)
@Sarah Barker I agree that is why I stole his name. There is a great documentary on the King Hippie Of Peace
@Sarah Howard he is the man. Still alive and kicking in his 80s
have been listening to this album at Christmas time forever have a couple tokes and enjoy😎
~6:47 for the santa bit
+Ken Lee worth every second.
Yeah, I know all about that very last guy, know how it feels. Even though I myself am not the last guy, more like one of the guys in the middle somewhere. But I know the feeling, anyway. However, I also know about the next-to-last guy. He too, has to get his excitement also. And he too has to bum a dime, find a phone, put in his dime, dial a number, and he clears his throat, and he says...
"It's me ag'in Margaret..."
;)
A camp counselor introduced us to this one summer along with the motorcycle song.
i miss the days when it only cost a dime to make a payphone call...i also miss the days of payphones ;X
I don't miss them at all. Nasty ol' phones and phone booths. Yuck! I grew up in the metro NY/NJ area and the blankety blank blank blank that one saw and smelled in phone booths! No!! But the dime was great, I agree.
The very first concert I ever went to was Arlo Guthrie at Music Hall in Cincinnati, Oh.
I was 14 and still to this day I remember that show with very fond memories. He has a rapport with an audience that is unmatched.
@arthur8557 My first concert was "jesus Christ super star" followed immediately by Elton john. Not as "cool" as a phil oches or a woody Guthrie, but first concerts are pretty awesome!
I love the rant about the FBI - too bad he is now a libertarian
Well bred and ingenious with talent to carry on an inherit trait.
Nice soul as well.
This is so real to life he should know better than anyone he is one of the original bad boys expressing his civil right freedom of speech I love it tell it like it is Arlo u r an inspiration to all who know how the lawdawgs invade our lives but choose to live them as we please just to mess with there heads
Somehow, whenever I listen to Arlo, I always end up feeling like things will end up being okay. Even when it's a bit about how bad some things are. I have loved this artist since I was a kid and will until I die. Thanks Arlo for a lifetime of hope.
@Meg Grimes and thanks even more to his father :) take a listen sometime :)
I am sure most people that love Arlo are very well versed in Woody and Pete
Robin Roche that’s right
So cool and even cooler to read all these fine comments. Thanks one and all.
Odd how the past becomes the present.
So true. President Rag is so now.
I never heard this in its complete version,so,a real treat for me!
I fell in love with Arlo as a little girl when I saw him for the first time on the Muppet Show. :) It wasn't until my teens that I got to know more of his stuff and realized just how cool he really is! Awesome musician, heart of gold, and funnier than most stand-up comics. I've started my bike so many times while singing to myself, "I don't want a pickle....." ;) Arlo will always have a place in my heart!
One day this'll be as much a Christmas standard as "Alice's Restaurant" is for Thanksgiving...thanks for the share and smile...happy holidays everyone
Wow...that brings me back...that's where I heard it the first time myself
lovin it-good one!!!
this version with the FBI rap can also be found on the Warner Bros. sampler album "The 1969 Warner/Reprise Songbook"
Takes me back so far I think I've got pimples again.
sounds just a fresh and fun as the first time I heard it - oh, 44 or so years ago.
I FREAKIN' LUV THIS DUDE. THIS GUY IS THE "REAL DEAL" Light -hearted good luvin' shit man. Peace and god bless. ; )