Epic Rap Battles Of History - James Bond vs Austin Powers Lyrics






[Intro:]
Epic rap battles of history...
James Bond!
Versus!
Austin Powers!
Begin!

[James Bond (Craig):]
I've beefed with Le Chiffre and No and Blofeld with the cheek scar
But they were not as crooked and rotten as your teeth are
I'll go balls to the Walther on this whack twat in an ascot
Blast shots atcha like gas from the back slot of a fat Scot
Permission from the Crown to put a scoundrel down? I've earned it
I'm licenced to kill, you couldn't get a learner's permit
After twenty-four films, I'm still reaching new heights
Your third movie died, guess You Only Live Twice
Spell my name, the ladies wanna B-on-D
Any sex appeal you might have is beyond me
I'm bespoke from my head to my toe and after this flow I'm done
I only need one round, [*gunshot*] Golden Gun

[Austin Powers:]
You look a lot more blonde in your movie, baby
That's alright, let's just keep it groovy baby! (Yeah!)
Basil Exposition told me this would be boring
But Jesus, man, even my mojo's snoring!
I've never seen such a miserable spy
I've also never seen a man with glistening thighs
I mean you can't shag properly with that waxed tush
Birds flock to the musk of my chest bush (Yeah!)
I hypnotize you with a little strip tease
And then judo chop, I'm swinging on you like the sixties (Yeah!)
You're defenseless; my rhymes can't be deflected
You're like all the sex I've ever had, unprotected (Yeah!)
People want a hero with a little personality
No one wants to sit through your gritty reality
Maybe Q can craft some new plot lines
You've made Thunderball two bloody times!
I'm one of a kind you're always getting remade
You can't touch me, double-oh behave

[James Bond (Craig):]
Ugh! Can't believe I'm wasting my time with this clown
I should be on an island with a fucking model by now
Sipping dry martinis and peeling off bikinis
Not rapping against Swedish penis pumping weenies

[Austin Powers:]
Yeah that's not mine-

[James Bond (Craig):]
I didn't say I was finished, I'm sick of your silly gimmicks
I'm the best spy in the business; just ask all the critics
I've been through hell, so yeah, I'm a bit of a cynic
But I'm the original model that your frilly ass mimics!

[James Bond (Connery):]
(I wouldn't exactly call you original...)
It's the most prominent dominant bomb spy, so pay homage
Handing out ass-whippings, I'm on some real James Bondage
Your performance doesn't stir me and I'm certainly not shaken
If I wanted shitty acting in my action film, I'd go and watch Taken
I see your modern gadgets and I piss on them all
I don't need a Q to break your balls
I'm the granddad of the brand millions of fans have been sold on
You're so far up on my nuts I should call you Bond... Gold Bond

[Austin Powers:]
Yeah, um, could I get back in my rap please?

[James Bond (Connery):]
[*slap*] Rap these, you velvety hack!

[Austin Powers:]
Jeez!

[James Bond (Craig):]
It's the movie business and you've had your six
The world has had quite enough rug-wearing misogynists

[Austin Powers:]
Yeah, to be honest, you are a bit rapey
I mean, I like to swing but Dr. No means no, baby

[James Bond (Connery):]
Oh please, I'm an extraordinary gentlemen, I'm distinguished
If they made a Mini-Me, they'd have to cast Peter Dinklage

[James Bond (Craig):]
Well maybe they should cast a Bond who's actually English

[James Bond (Connery):]
[*slap*] Why, pussy, aren't you the cunning linguist

[James Bond (Craig):]
As a matter of fact, I've got a knack for licking old cunts
After I beat you, I'll kick the shit out of the man who does your stunts

[James Bond (Connery):]
Now you listen here, you little duck-faced runt
I'm all in, I'm ready to die any day that you want!

[Outro:]
Who won? (Who won?)
Who's next? (Who's next?)
You... you decide!
Epic rap battles of history!





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Epic Rap Battles Of History James Bond vs Austin Powers Comments
  1. p.... g....

    no one gonna talk about old james bond slaping them

  2. E.... Y....

    Who is the third spy, I dont recognize him

    E.... Y....

    Erito Yomaka the old James Bond

  3. G.... H....

    What does the line "I only need one round...Golden Gun" mean?

  4. T.... O....

    I like the one second of Austin's instrumental after he gets slapped

  5. E.... ....

    2:06 when you try to act cool in front of your friends but your father is cooler

  6. I.... D....

    3:01 Austin powers’ face 🤣🤣🤣

  7. J.... P....

    Needed more bonds. Like all the bonds showing up. The man is a time lord.

  8. S.... B....

    "Rap these you velvety hack" jEeZ

  9. E.... C....

    Make James Bond vs Jason Bourne please

  10. j.... w....

    I love how austin powers has proven that he actually respects women when he turned vanessa down when she was drunk
    I love that scene so much

  11. L.... D....

    I need more Austin powers he won this hands down. Dr no means no baby lol

  12. N.... C....

    Johnny English should have entered

  13. D.... E....

    1:42 Just when you thought James Bond only had one round

  14. j.... ....

    Massive props to EL's amazing work channeling Sean Connery. He's got the physical motions down.

  15. A.... M....

    Trump is in this

  16. D.... D....

    Austin powers

  17. A.... L....

    Okay, Austin loses a few points for in his first 2 lines repeating the last word. That being said, I think classic Bond wins due to the fact that he was able to lay some pretty good damage down on New Bond and Powers while the only thing they were able to counter with was 'being a bit rapey' and misogynism.

  18. a.... s....

    Someone had to do it 2:08

  19. R.... A....

    Austin Powers. Easy.

  20. �.... �....

    Gusse the surprise rapper?

  21. t.... ....

    This austin powers is actually better than the movie actor xD

  22. M.... M....

    Bond won for real for real

  23. G.... ....

    the bond

  24. Y.... K....

    Could be interesting to see James Bond and Deadpool in the rap battles

  25. C.... M....

    3:01 Austin’s face

  26. a.... d....

    was the surprise guy Jason Bourne? just wondering

  27. G.... T....

    Please also make Dr Evil vs Some another villain

  28. r.... ....

    Old Bond handled both the new guys...easy.

  29. B.... ....

    The need to remake Austin powers with him

  30. {.... M....

    Sean Connery

  31. k.... k....

    Rick vs. Morty please, or Gandalf vs Chris Angel

  32. s.... ....

    Do Bond vs Ethan Hunt or Bourne or Reacher, or either vs the other.

  33. C.... B....

    Pls do a second one of this

  34. A.... K....

    Sean Connery the man.

  35. E.... 0....

    "I don't need a Q to break your balls"
    Classic.

  36. M.... a....

    can you do looksee vs slenderman

  37. T.... 1....

    “Blast shots atcha like gas//from the back slot of a fat scot”

    Brilliant reference to Fat Bastard here

  38. C.... M....

    In the original James Bond book. I am fairly certain that the original James Bond character was Scottish. So its actually very accurate for James Bond to be played by a Scottish actor.

  39. C.... ....

    Still waiting for the rap battle of the 2 james bond. They declared war.

  40. A.... G....

    The new James bond won but I love how Austin powers said "Dr.No means no baby" lol

  41. J.... D....

    I feel that it’s time for an Austin Powers reboot with nicepeter as Austin Powers and epicLloyd as Dr. evil

  42. b.... b....

    Everyone, just think about how weird it probably was to do Austin's verse

  43. J.... L....

    Errol Flynn vs The Rock!

  44. A.... R....

    The way they slid in Sean Connery into the mix and how his beat hit hard and his words flowed so smooth like damn bro

  45. J.... K....

    Probably the last good one. :(

  46. J.... R....

    The Original Bond

  47. P.... F....

    James bond kinda sounds like Gordon Ramsay not gonna lie

    P.... F....

    I hear it

  48. S.... D....

    Idk who won

  49. F.... P....

    Next spy battle: Johnny English vs Jason Bourne with an appearance from Ethan Hunt.

  50. N.... ....

    Just one round for Austin ? Sad he was the best.

  51. W.... S....

    Daniel Craig bond won

  52. p.... ....

    Its a crime that austin only got one verse, his beat was groovy as fuck and his bars were way better then the first bond

  53. D.... ....

    That was Tom Cruise right
    If it was than he won in my opinion

  54. R.... B....

    Ok boomer

  55. A.... D....

    Classic Bond! Hands down classic Bond!

  56. L.... G....

    “The ladies wanna B on D”

    “B on D”

    “Bond”



    Ok, I’ll go now.

  57. M.... M....

    and then there’s Austin’s face at the end

  58. R.... t....

    Austin was hilarious so he wins they all win

  59. J.... K....

    He actually sounds like Austin powers, like really on point.

  60. H.... B....

    I definitely think Bond won, but “double oh behave” was wonderful xD

  61. S.... ....

    Dear god that finally was AWESOME, lovin it!

  62. M.... S....

    Hmmmmmmmmm, I honnestly couldn't tell you who won.

  63. A.... A....

    James Bond is history

  64. A.... A....

    James Bond winner

  65. A.... A....

    James Bond won

  66. D.... F....

    Still to this day my favorite ERB

  67. G.... S....

    You guys literally just got austing for this, I refuse to believe thats anyone else.

  68. G.... ....

    "Double oh behave" won this for me LOL

  69. z.... ....

    Austin wins tbh

  70. J.... S....

    Lets be real James Bond number 2 was pretty lit

  71. A.... ....

    Q (James Bond) Vs Sherlock? Maybe? Or any other brainiac?

  72. E.... S....

    Austin Powers starts at 0:48 so anyone with class can click that time and skip the boring garbage

  73. A.... S....

    austin powers won

  74. C.... M....

    James Bond won and he is amazing

  75. T.... d....

    James blond 1

  76. S.... J....

    3:00 just noticed austin's priceless expression after so many times watching this

  77. A.... S....

    bond vs Sherlock Holmes

  78. H.... T....

    Austin powers sliding up with that smile won in my eyes lmao.

  79. J.... T....

    AUASTEN POWERS WON!GROVVY BAYBY!OOH BEHAVE !JA BAYBY:)

  80. w.... T....

    @peterdinklage should be the next james Bond. that blue milk baby yado money/

  81. U.... ....

    Yeah, modern bond is misogynist too. Just not good looking enough to make it semi-consentual. Lol.

  82. O.... n....

    Craig and Powers collectively win against Connery

  83. a.... g....

    OG bond is better than the new one

  84. G.... I....

    Spell my name.. B on D. GTFO....

  85. N.... J....

    Who won: Me


    Cause I got to enjoy this.

  86. S.... ....

    The winner is James Bond won.

    What do you mean which James Bond? The good one

  87. R.... R....

    Ar 03:02 Look at Austin’s face

  88. E.... P....

    Let’s just keep it groovy baby!

  89. G.... H....

    “Yeah, to be honest, you are a bit rapey” 😂

    G.... H....

    I mean I like to swing but dr.no means no baby :o

    G.... H....

    *Oh please Im an extraordinarily gentleman*

  90. J.... P....

    Shit got real...

  91. a.... ....

    I like how hard the music goes in the last 15 seconds of this video. Its so extra its beautiful 😂😂

  92. k.... ....

    "If they made a Mini-Me, they'd have to cast Peter Dinklage."

    Dead. I am fucking dead. 😂

    Peter Dinklage played Tyrion Lannister, if that helps you properly appreciate that line.

  93. T.... a....

    Yeaahhhh!!!

  94. M.... A....

    I think this is my favourite instrumental in the whole series.

  95. J.... S....

    Ps4 vs xbox vs Nintendo

  96. J.... J....

    this i just lord saladin vs lord shaxx , both from destiny, with the surprise rapper being saint-14
    daniel craig=lord saladin
    austin powers= lord shaxx
    sean connery= saint-14

  97. O.... M....

    James Bond - blow up everything, shoot everyone, showing your killing permit to everyone.
    Austin Powers - solving problem just by showing his hairy T on his chest