Epic Rap Battles Of History - James Bond vs Austin Powers Lyrics
[Intro:]
Epic rap battles of history...
James Bond!
Versus!
Austin Powers!
[James Bond (Craig):]
I've beefed with Le Chiffre and No and Blofeld with the cheek scar
But they were not as crooked and rotten as your teeth are
I'll go balls to the Walther on this whack twat in an ascot
Blast shots atcha like gas from the back slot of a fat Scot
Permission from the Crown to put a scoundrel down? I've earned it
I'm licenced to kill, you couldn't get a learner's permit
After twenty-four films, I'm still reaching new heights
Your third movie died, guess You Only Live Twice
Any sex appeal you might have is beyond me
I'm bespoke from my head to my toe and after this flow I'm done
I only need one round, [*gunshot*] Golden Gun
[Austin Powers:]
You look a lot more blonde in your movie, baby
That's alright, let's just keep it groovy baby! (Yeah!)
Basil Exposition told me this would be boring
But Jesus, man, even my mojo's snoring!
I've never seen such a miserable spy
I've also never seen a man with glistening thighs
I mean you can't shag properly with that waxed tush
Birds flock to the musk of my chest bush (Yeah!)
I hypnotize you with a little strip tease
And then judo chop, I'm swinging on you like the sixties (Yeah!)
You're defenseless; my rhymes can't be deflected
You're like all the sex I've ever had, unprotected (Yeah!)
People want a hero with a little personality
No one wants to sit through your gritty reality
Maybe Q can craft some new plot lines
You've made Thunderball two bloody times!
I'm one of a kind you're always getting remade
You can't touch me, double-oh behave
[James Bond (Craig):]
Ugh! Can't believe I'm wasting my time with this clown
I should be on an island with a fucking model by now
Sipping dry martinis and peeling off bikinis
Not rapping against Swedish penis pumping weenies
[Austin Powers:]
Yeah that's not mine-
[James Bond (Craig):]
I didn't say I was finished, I'm sick of your silly gimmicks
I'm the best spy in the business; just ask all the critics
I've been through hell, so yeah, I'm a bit of a cynic
But I'm the original model that your frilly ass mimics!
[James Bond (Connery):]
(I wouldn't exactly call you original...)
It's the most prominent dominant bomb spy, so pay homage
Handing out ass-whippings, I'm on some real James Bondage
Your performance doesn't stir me and I'm certainly not shaken
If I wanted shitty acting in my action film, I'd go and watch Taken
I see your modern gadgets and I piss on them all
I don't need a Q to break your balls
I'm the granddad of the brand millions of fans have been sold on
You're so far up on my nuts I should call you Bond... Gold Bond
[Austin Powers:]
Yeah, um, could I get back in my rap please?
[James Bond (Connery):]
[*slap*] Rap these, you velvety hack!
[Austin Powers:]
Jeez!
[James Bond (Craig):]
It's the movie business and you've had your six
The world has had quite enough rug-wearing misogynists
[Austin Powers:]
Yeah, to be honest, you are a bit rapey
I mean, I like to swing but Dr. No means no, baby
[James Bond (Connery):]
Oh please, I'm an extraordinary gentlemen, I'm distinguished
If they made a Mini-Me, they'd have to cast Peter Dinklage
[James Bond (Craig):]
Well maybe they should cast a Bond who's actually English
[James Bond (Connery):]
[*slap*] Why, pussy, aren't you the cunning linguist
[James Bond (Craig):]
As a matter of fact, I've got a knack for licking old cunts
After I beat you, I'll kick the shit out of the man who does your stunts
[James Bond (Connery):]
Now you listen here, you little duck-faced runt
I'm all in, I'm ready to die any day that you want!
[Outro:]
Who won? (Who won?)
Who's next? (Who's next?)
You... you decide!
Epic rap battles of history!
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Rand Lyrics
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Epic Rap Battles Of History James Bond vs Austin Powers Comments
no one gonna talk about old james bond slaping them
Who is the third spy, I dont recognize him
Erito Yomaka the old James Bond
What does the line "I only need one round...Golden Gun" mean?
I like the one second of Austin's instrumental after he gets slapped
2:06 when you try to act cool in front of your friends but your father is cooler
3:01 Austin powers’ face 🤣🤣🤣
Needed more bonds. Like all the bonds showing up. The man is a time lord.
"Rap these you velvety hack" jEeZ
Make James Bond vs Jason Bourne please
I love how austin powers has proven that he actually respects women when he turned vanessa down when she was drunk
I love that scene so much
I need more Austin powers he won this hands down. Dr no means no baby lol
Johnny English should have entered
1:42 Just when you thought James Bond only had one round
Massive props to EL's amazing work channeling Sean Connery. He's got the physical motions down.
Trump is in this
Austin powers
Okay, Austin loses a few points for in his first 2 lines repeating the last word. That being said, I think classic Bond wins due to the fact that he was able to lay some pretty good damage down on New Bond and Powers while the only thing they were able to counter with was 'being a bit rapey' and misogynism.
Someone had to do it 2:08
Austin Powers. Easy.
Gusse the surprise rapper?
This austin powers is actually better than the movie actor xD
Bond won for real for real
the bond
Could be interesting to see James Bond and Deadpool in the rap battles
3:01 Austin’s face
was the surprise guy Jason Bourne? just wondering
Please also make Dr Evil vs Some another villain
Old Bond handled both the new guys...easy.
The need to remake Austin powers with him
Sean Connery
Rick vs. Morty please, or Gandalf vs Chris Angel
Do Bond vs Ethan Hunt or Bourne or Reacher, or either vs the other.
Pls do a second one of this
Sean Connery the man.
"I don't need a Q to break your balls"
Classic.
can you do looksee vs slenderman
“Blast shots atcha like gas//from the back slot of a fat scot”
Brilliant reference to Fat Bastard here
In the original James Bond book. I am fairly certain that the original James Bond character was Scottish. So its actually very accurate for James Bond to be played by a Scottish actor.
Still waiting for the rap battle of the 2 james bond. They declared war.
The new James bond won but I love how Austin powers said "Dr.No means no baby" lol
I feel that it’s time for an Austin Powers reboot with nicepeter as Austin Powers and epicLloyd as Dr. evil
Everyone, just think about how weird it probably was to do Austin's verse
Errol Flynn vs The Rock!
The way they slid in Sean Connery into the mix and how his beat hit hard and his words flowed so smooth like damn bro
Probably the last good one. :(
The Original Bond
James bond kinda sounds like Gordon Ramsay not gonna lie
I hear it
Idk who won
Next spy battle: Johnny English vs Jason Bourne with an appearance from Ethan Hunt.
Just one round for Austin ? Sad he was the best.
Daniel Craig bond won
Its a crime that austin only got one verse, his beat was groovy as fuck and his bars were way better then the first bond
That was Tom Cruise right
If it was than he won in my opinion
Ok boomer
Classic Bond! Hands down classic Bond!
“The ladies wanna B on D”
“B on D”
“Bond”
Ok, I’ll go now.
and then there’s Austin’s face at the end
Austin was hilarious so he wins they all win
He actually sounds like Austin powers, like really on point.
I definitely think Bond won, but “double oh behave” was wonderful xD
Dear god that finally was AWESOME, lovin it!
Hmmmmmmmmm, I honnestly couldn't tell you who won.
James Bond is history
James Bond winner
James Bond won
Still to this day my favorite ERB
You guys literally just got austing for this, I refuse to believe thats anyone else.
"Double oh behave" won this for me LOL
Austin wins tbh
Lets be real James Bond number 2 was pretty lit
Q (James Bond) Vs Sherlock? Maybe? Or any other brainiac?
Austin Powers starts at 0:48 so anyone with class can click that time and skip the boring garbage
austin powers won
James Bond won and he is amazing
James blond 1
3:00 just noticed austin's priceless expression after so many times watching this
bond vs Sherlock Holmes
Austin powers sliding up with that smile won in my eyes lmao.
AUASTEN POWERS WON!GROVVY BAYBY!OOH BEHAVE !JA BAYBY:)
@peterdinklage should be the next james Bond. that blue milk baby yado money/
Yeah, modern bond is misogynist too. Just not good looking enough to make it semi-consentual. Lol.
Craig and Powers collectively win against Connery
OG bond is better than the new one
Spell my name.. B on D. GTFO....
Who won: Me
Cause I got to enjoy this.
The winner is James Bond won.
What do you mean which James Bond? The good one
Ar 03:02 Look at Austin’s face
Let’s just keep it groovy baby!
“Yeah, to be honest, you are a bit rapey” 😂
I mean I like to swing but dr.no means no baby :o
*Oh please Im an extraordinarily gentleman*
Shit got real...
I like how hard the music goes in the last 15 seconds of this video. Its so extra its beautiful 😂😂
"If they made a Mini-Me, they'd have to cast Peter Dinklage."
Dead. I am fucking dead. 😂
Peter Dinklage played Tyrion Lannister, if that helps you properly appreciate that line.
Yeaahhhh!!!
I think this is my favourite instrumental in the whole series.
Ps4 vs xbox vs Nintendo
this i just lord saladin vs lord shaxx , both from destiny, with the surprise rapper being saint-14
daniel craig=lord saladin
austin powers= lord shaxx
sean connery= saint-14
James Bond - blow up everything, shoot everyone, showing your killing permit to everyone.
Austin Powers - solving problem just by showing his hairy T on his chest