Epic Rap Battles Of History - Adam vs Eve Lyrics






Epic rap battles of history
Adam vs Eve
Begin!

[Eve:]
This battle's gonna end like every argument does
With you kissing my ass and begging me for a rub
I made a map motherfucker and I'm reading it too
Gives me specific directions how to fuck with you
I know that you like to think you're so macho
But you smell like ballsacks and nachos
I work. While you and your boyfriend Steve
Drink and play sports in a Fantasy League
You're as sharp as a stick, that I rub on my lips
So go ahead take a shot, I'm sure that you'll miss
Like the laundry, the toilet, the grocery list
If you'd stop fucking up I wouldn't have to get pissed

[Adam:]
My life was fine 'till you had to come along and wreck it
Could you please just shut your face for ten seconds?
You cry about everything, but can't decide what you want
"I'm hungry", "I'm fat", "I'm cold", "I'm hot"
You call it complex, but yo I'd call you a mess
You take two hours to cum, three more to get dressed!
You got a lotion for this? Got a cream for that?
Got any perfume that smells like get the fuck off my back?
When things are good they're great, and it's like I'm dreamin'
Until your junk starts bleedin' and you turn to a demon
It ain't summer Eve, don't try to play me like a douche
You wanna bite on my fruit well you can swallow the truth!

[Eve:]
Don't. even. bring up swallow
The first man on Earth ain't a tough act to follow
One pump chump and you're hung like a weasel
Ditch the fig leaf, get yourself a pine needle
You want alone time? Have it! In fact
Suck your own dick, and shave your own back
That apple's the best thing I bit so far
Now I see how much of a dick you are

[Adam:]
I wasn't listening, are you still flapping those lips?
I was just thinking, yo did I give up a rib for this?
Woman, I just don't know what your problem is
All I know is you're acting like a colossal bitch!

[Adam:]
I'm sorry

[Eve:]
... I'm sorry, too

[Adam:]
Alright, nice!

[Eve:]
Don't even think about it!

[Adam:]
Okay, that's fine, we can eat

Who won? Who's next? You decide!
Epic (oh yeah) rap battles of history!





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Epic Rap Battles Of History Adam vs Eve Comments
  1. C.... 4....

    1:42 having same problem with my gf. i accidently told her that she should eat less and diet. now she doesn't talk to me for 3 month 😂

  2. S.... E....

    Everybody : Eve vs Adam who won

    Me: what is the meaning of cum

  3. L.... p....

    I wish my parents could fight like this

  4. d.... ....

    Eve lost

  5. d.... ....

    Adam won

  6. s.... s....

    Next is man vs wild

  7. R.... A....

    Man I was obsessed with this, I still know it word for word

  8. S.... H....

    Adam won.

  9. S.... H....

    Who plays EVE?

  10. G.... M....

    Jenna Marbles is 🔥!

  11. I.... B....

    RUDE😠!!!

  12. B.... B....

    Sorry Eve, I love you girl, but you lost miserably.

  13. A.... 4....

    I totally forgot about this rap it’s crazy how long ago it was

  14. P.... M....

    If Adam and Eve got into a fight it would technically be world war

  15. B.... D....

    Eve won because she was queen Jenna Marbles

  16. Y.... ....

    Literally in the top 3 best ERBs they've ever made, no arguments.

  17. F.... B....

    i think jenna and nice peter's rap battle was not found in the bible

  18. S.... J....

    This was a World War

  19. p.... ....

    If she takes two hours to come then that woman’s got a problem with her vagina or she’s had too many men inside her , just like a used car , he dropped a penny through it and there is no traction , therefore no tread on the wheel ! LoL ! 🧐🤔🇬🇧🤝🤣🤣🤣🤛🏻🤛🏻🤛🏻

  20. A.... B....

    This is blasphemously wonderful

  21. T.... B....

    They need a part two on this one!!

  22. d.... d....

    00:13 " I made a map motherfucker". How can Adam be a mother fucker when he never had one to fuck ?.

  23. S.... Q....

    Jenna did an good job

  24. M.... H....

    ben shapiro vs liberals

  25. U.... H....

    Finally, ha ha ha ha :)

  26. T.... ....

    Epic *oh yeah.* battles of history!

    😂😂😂

  27. M.... S....

    I wish the Bible was THIS entertaining LMAO

  28. J.... H....

    Ksi vs logan paul

  29. M.... F....

    This is more like male versus female

  30. V.... w....

    Mohamed vs jesus

  31. p.... ....

    Haha adam was nice to her. He was holding back.

  32. T.... L....

    now that i come back to this i must say Adam sounds like a r/niceguy

  33. A.... S....

    So we are hearing our great great great great great great ................................................................Grandparents discussing about their genitals

  34. N.... H....

    Buffy vs The Fifth Element would be an epic Rap Battle

  35. T.... B....

    Adam easily won lol

  36. C.... B....

    Dude I have known this rap since it came out and I only just realized who eve actually is played by 🤣

  37. K.... R....

    Whose Steve 😂😂

  38. J.... _....

    Wack. Total disrespect toward Christianity. Thumbs down.

  39. B.... B....

    Christ she used to be fine

  40. i.... f....

    “The first man on earth ain’t a tough act to follow”

    911 id like to report a murder

  41. T.... t....

    God after walking into this:

    Ight imma head out

  42. R.... W....

    I stan Jenna as the mother of us all haha.

  43. A.... U....

    People keep saying they didn’t notice Jenna was in this.... Bitch this is how I discovered her😂

  44. S.... K....

    So I guess we black and brown people are just aliens.

  45. m.... m....

    First snoop dogg then jenna marbles

  46. X.... G....

    Jenna marbles

  47. I.... ....

    Adam was black

  48. n.... t....

    Eve is #jenna marbles

  49. C.... 4....

    This battle was oddly sexual...

  50. G.... I....

    i've never seen so much effort and production go into something so fantastically unfunny

  51. D.... A....

    Hey! Its Jenna! :)

  52. S.... O....

    God, your people is having a rap battle here in your Garden, forbid this

  53. W.... J....

    Adam is a hunk tbh

  54. A.... R....

    Adam vs eve Free fire

  55. G.... G....

    I love it more when not many people will remember this video had an age filter at one point. That made this the first ever and only ERB to be on limited access.

  56. 6.... ....

    Wish that battle lasted longer, it was awesome!

  57. T.... L....

    I wonder how big Adams dick was

  58. L.... A....

    I can't believe she said I'm sorry too 😂😂 we need to learn it's okay for us women to say sorry.

  59. T.... R....

    Goku vs vegeta

  60. H.... ....

    1:31 jennas face😂! Now julien gets that face every now and then

  61. T.... -....

    YO , This Is SO STUPID and this video Specifically make me Want To VOMIT! , Why Would You Make Jokes About PROPHET ADAM PBUH ? It's Not Allowed For Anyone To Make Jokes About Our Religious Figures Whatever They're And If You Do This Again YOU'LL FACE THE CONSEQUENCES HERE AND IN THE HEREAFTER , But that's expected from a society that allows Gay people to MARRY.

    T.... -....

    you forgot the /s at the end of this my dude

  62. T.... -....

    That's disgusting!! Why Do you christians let anyone make a diss about your religious figures .... This is BULLSHIT and make jokes about it .... That's humiliating

  63. E.... h....

    I won!! I always win. 😉

  64. A.... S....

    TOO SEXY SYSTEM OVERLOADING AAAAAAAA

  65. t.... b....

    That was hysterical

  66. G.... ....

    Eve won

  67. M.... M....

    Have you done Hitler and Eva?

  68. J.... H....

    This was the first world war

  69. D.... ....

    OMG IT IS JENNA!

  70. F.... P....

    Was that Jenna marbles

  71. p.... ....

    When you run outta ideas

    p.... ....

    @patajos so what I like erb vids.
    🤷‍♀️

    p.... ....

    @Mitchell Kouwenoord so do i so stop tryna argue

    p.... ....

    @patajos I'm not arguing tho. I'm just pointing out your mistake about erb running out of ideas while this vid is already 6 years old. Have a wonderful day.

    p.... ....

    @Mitchell Kouwenoord you too. Move along with ur night

    p.... ....

    @patajos byeee👋

  72. E.... ....

    Jenna Marbles wins!

  73. A.... S....

    this was more of Man v Woman than Adam v Eve

  74. P.... B....

    So this is basically Man v.s Women? Haha. I love it :)

  75. C.... ....

    Holy FUCK Jenna looks incredible in this. Especially that end part doing the robot was SO EFFING SEXY.

  76. m.... j....

    I gotta say this one kinda sucks, since it could have been any guy and any woman. Usually the best lines are directed towards that person specifically. I get these aren't historical figures, but you could play off the biblical story more then just a rib comment.

  77. K.... S....

    Me, 6 years later, realizing that Jenna Marbles is eve: wait what the f-

    K.... S....

    I don't get it??? is that a bad thing?

  78. M.... C....

    ave like adam comment

  79. S.... F....

    Adam shouldve been Jacksfilms

  80. B.... ....

    Boomer humor

  81. E.... G....

    Let me guess your on an a Erb marathon?

  82. B.... G....

    Eve win

  83. H.... G....

    Ma girl eve

  84. D.... F....

    THATS JENNA MARBLES

  85. i.... f....

    *me, a kpop stan*
    Is-is it just me or does this kinda sound like 'shall we dance' by Block B

  86. A.... D....

    I don’t think that it is right to make fun of our first parents this way

  87. D.... M....

    Why this this every girl ever?

  88. D.... S....

    Adam vs Steve from Minecraft

  89. A.... ....

    Spoiler: Mgtow wins.

  90. b.... l....

    This just stereo type boy vs girl modern day rap battle

    Oh and do a god vs satin that would be so cool

  91. J.... S....

    Still one of the best videos on YouTube ever.

  92. E.... ....

    Didn't eve eat the apple which fucked humanity

    E.... ....

    Both did.

  93. A.... N....

    Still my favorite one!

  94. A.... ....

    Jeez, if all marital fights ended like this, it may be entertaining to hear my neighbors every day.

  95. Q.... Q....

    Hahahahaha. If you've never called your woman a bitch either she's not a woman of you're not a man. Lol

  96. i.... i....

    Yo, you can do your own epic rap battles with this tool I built: FreestyleRap.ca

    Throw a beat and and do freestyle with your homies

  97. K.... ....

    1:42 FATALITY

  98. J.... ....

    this beat is SOOO HYPED!

  99. E.... R....

    Jenna is hot