Eminem - If I Had... Lyrics




Life by Marshall Mathers
What is life?
Life is like a big obstacle
Put in front of your optical to slow you down
And every time you think you've gotten past it
It's gonna come back around and tackle you to the damn ground
What are friends?
Friends are people that you think are your friends
But they're really your enemies, with secret identities
And disguises, to hide their true colors
So just when you think you're close enough to be brothers
They wanna come back and cut your throat when you ain't lookin'
What is money?
Money is what makes a man act funny
Money is the root of all evil
Money'll make them same friends come back around
Swearing that they was always down
What is life?
I'm tired of life
I'm tired of backstabbing ass snakes with friendly grins
I'm tired of committing so many sins
Tired of always giving in when this bottle of Henny wins
Tired of never having any ends
Tired of having skinny friends hooked on crack and mini-thins
I'm tired of this DJ playing your shit when he spins
Tired of not having a deal
Tired of having to deal with the bullshit without grabbing the steel
Tired of drowning in my sorrow
Tired of having to borrow a dollar for gas to start my Monte Carlo
I'm tired of motherfuckers sprayin' shit and dartin' off
I'm tired of jobs startin' off at five fifty an hour
Then this boss wonders why I'm smartin' off
I'm tired of being fired every time I fart and cough
Tired of having to work as a gas station clerk
For this jerk breathing down my neck driving me berserk
I'm tired of using plastic silverware
Tired of workin' at Builder's Square
Tired of not being a millionaire

But if I had a million dollars
I'd buy a damn brewery, and turn the planet into alcoholics
If I had a magic wand, I'd make the world suck my dick
Without a condom on, while I'm on the john
If I had a million bucks
It wouldn't be enough, because I'd still be out
Robbing armored trucks
If I had one wish
I would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss

I'm tired of being white trash, broke and always poor
Tired of taking pop bottles back to the party store
I'm tired of not having a phone
Tired of not having a home to have one in if I did have it on
Tired of not driving a BM
Tired of not working at GM, tired of wanting to be him
Tired of not sleeping without a Tylenol PM
Tired of not performing in a packed coliseum
Tired of not being on tour
Tired of fucking the same blonde whore after work
In the back of a Contour
I'm tired of faking knots with a stack of ones
Having a lack of funds and resorting back to guns
Tired of being stared at
I'm tired of wearing the same damn Nike Air hat
Tired of stepping in clubs wearing the same pair of Lugz
Tired of people saying they're tired of hearing me rap about drugs
Tired of other rappers who ain't bringin' half the skill as me
Saying they wasn't feeling me on "Nobody's As Ill As Me"
I'm tired of radio stations telling fibs
Tired of JLB saying "Where Hip-Hop Lives"

But if I had a million dollars
I'd buy a damn brewery, and turn the planet into alcoholics
If I had a magic wand, I'd make the world suck my dick
Without a condom on, while I'm on the john
If I had a million bucks
It wouldn't be enough, because I'd still be out
Robbing armored trucks
If I had one wish
I would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss

You know what I'm saying?
I'm tired of all of this bullshit
Telling me to be positive
How'm I supposed to be positive when I don't see shit positive?
Know what I'm sayin'?
I rap about shit around me, shit I see
Know what I'm sayin'? Right now I'm tired of everything
Tired of all this player-hating that's going on in my own city
Can't get no airplay, you know what I'm sayin'
But hey, it's cool though, you know what I'm sayin'?
Just fed up
That's my word





Other Lyrics by Artist

Rand Lyrics


Eminem If I Had... Comments
  1. Jim Lahey

    One of the most unbelievable wavelengths Of sounds that has ever oassed through my ear drunsb

  2. Dean

    2019 still 2020 ha

  3. AgentSmith92011

    This was definitely the best album eminem ever made. The entire album can be played from start to finish

  4. AgentSmith92011

    Em the Great

  5. Clairey Briddick

    Veronica!!! Didn't meet her on the beach.... She lied about me in a court of law. Called Social Services maliciously. I got my babies back though!

  6. Devan Wiech

    Lowkey the best Em song

  7. Danny G the Nature Guy

    Same dang nikie air hat ...

  8. Captain Neo

    Wonder what he thought when he did have a million dollars and looked back at this song???
    -2019

  9. Drew Wachter

    Just about 2020 and still relatable unlike this new teenie bopper bullshit

  10. David Peters

    If I had a million bucks, it wouldn’t be enough cuz I’d still be out robbing armoured trucks

  11. Sujit Barai Shrestha

    Whai is money?
    Money is what makes you act funny

  12. E Judd

    Realist song ever

  13. Jesse Chandler

    Is Eminem dope or am I down

  14. Oliver FORDE

    Very relatable song. Miss the old Em

  15. AnGe Da M.C. Mix Tape

    Brought the cassette tape in 1999, 20 years later I'm listening to this song with my headphones on my phone and my four-year-old son running around wow.

  16. Wendy k

    This Travis...... love is a dangerous drug....

  17. Jerell smith

    I want this eminem not this new bullshit he ain't rappin bout anything he just dissin mumble rappers and so-called fans really ain't real fans it's really sad they will not hop off his dick like damnnn i actually was the few who liked walk on water before everyone all of a sudden liked it I ain't a fan of eminen but that doesn't mean I don't listen to him he's complex u see that but atleast make a good song too with good beats good lyrics and all that ems fans just wanna see em diss mumble rappers in every song he makes its sad
    I wanna be able to rock with the beat
    I wanna be able to feel what he's saying I can't feel it if its flying over my head all the time
    Eminem fans please if any of u are reading this I hope you stop treating this man like a god since y'all wanna talk about rap battles put him up with daylyt see how it'll go
    If your a true ol head you know there is no godfather of hip hop
    Tupac, Eazy, Eminem, Biggie and more

  18. Paul Fasting

    R.I.P
    2009 12th febuar
    Paul Kamil Fasting
    K!ng

  19. Lord Alpha

    Juveniles flow be like dis

  20. Father Leo

    I'm upset that Eminem never got us that damn brewery

  21. Lynn Collier

    I bet you like callard greens and browns and the other day

  22. P Kos

    20 years later I still play this regularly, and still feel the same.

    Bad BoiMoi

    Keep yo head up homie. Focus on your personal heaven and make it a reality bro. I have faith

  23. Xavy Jr

    Real shit how I feel when will shit better may my prayer come true smh

  24. Matt Bauder

    I hate life I know it sounds horrible dog but I dont fuck with this

  25. Bryan Palmer

    Still goes hard 2019-2020

  26. Sun-Extinguisher

    If I had a million dollars I wouldn’t be here listening to this shit........probably

  27. A guy named something

    Tired of backstabbin ass snakes with double chins.

  28. jim jones

    Who's the background singer, shes excellent "you can share my world with meeee"

  29. Henri Tohver

    U made it fam

  30. Dirk Diggler

    WOW! I almost forgot about wearing those Lugs Boots back in late 90s..😃

  31. Juhm!r

    Watch this vid if you love Eminem !!


    https://youtu.be/ykUTaV4pMY0

  32. BRONZI

    fuck me what a banger

  33. Richiwolf

    I love em

  34. no love

    is this the real one wtf is going on

  35. no love

    why do i remember it so different like 90% different...god damn it lime wire did i download a fake all those years ago...this is not the real beat...is it?

  36. misty steineman

    Why would you dislike a video about a man with a bad past telling us about i'm a fan of eminem we're alot alike.

  37. Michael Mance

    Story of my life

  38. anti rehab

    Remember my buddies older bro blasting this whole album on the crazy ass system he had in his car early 01 or 02. Damn time flys

  39. Velli Ellis

    This song STILL hits me hard...

  40. Chelon Cunningham

    The G.O.A.T

  41. Bryan Scherer

    This song hits hard so bad 😏

  42. Thomas Batts

    Money will make them same friends come back around swearing they were allways down! This is so real on the daily.

  43. Ryan Darko

    “Friends are people that you think are you friends” you don’t gotta tell me twice

  44. Clint Beastwood

    this and rock bottom 2 favs off this album... does that make me depressed?

    Bigg Vdoe

    Clint Beastwood no

  45. PLAN-B GROUP

    Where is the big ass Marshall 😡 i want it now

  46. PLAN-B GROUP

    In my way of home alone always listening to this(:

  47. Mark A Norman Jr

    I just noticed Eminem was standing in the right corner with his daughter

  48. Most Down

    The older i get the more this song makes since

  49. Encino Man

    "Tired of wearing the same damn Nikey air hat".

  50. Ivan Blake

    Yes sirrrrr all day slim shady

  51. kelly stone

    I can't rest on a 2nd guess. I'm going to kill another fake.

    kelly stone

    There's no use saving me. Eventually I'm going to get cited for loud noise.

    kelly stone

    It stings but im getting used to it. I remember when the neighborhood never said a word about loud music. Now it's over complaining everywhere I go.

    kelly stone

    IBCB gifted and turn it up another notch. And I can't control myself. It feels like I'm living in two realities that cross over and shine in everybodies face.

    kelly stone

    Have you ever thought about using a slingshot to throw stones?

  52. Parker Yost

    I sure am

  53. Makenna Marie

    One of my best friends passed away last night and listening to this song really makes me feel the vibes 😔

  54. Mike Leonard

    When I get depressed I listen to this

  55. Conan Michael

    kurwa ja suko

  56. Flickering Light

    90s time capsule🌠

  57. 2manyissuez

    11/01/2019

  58. ORGONEkillsEVIL

    @0:06 @0:42 @3:20

  59. Lee Everett

    2019 and this shit still hits different 🔥

  60. Gavin Monteiro

    What is life?
    Life is like a big obstacle
    Put in front of your optical to slow you down
    And every time you think you've gotten past it
    It's gonna come back around and tackle you to the damn ground

    What are friends?
    Friends are people that you think are your friends
    But they're really your enemies with secret identities and disguises to hide their true colors
    So just when you think you're close enough to be brothers they wanna come back and cut your throat when you ain't looking

    What is money?
    Money is what makes a man act funny
    Money is the root of all evil
    Money'll make them same friends come back around swearing that they was always down

    What is life?
    I'm tired of life

    I'm tired of backstabbing ass snakes with friendly grins
    I'm tired of committing so many sins
    Tired of always giving in when this bottle of Henny wins
    Tired of never having any ends
    Tired of having skinny friends hooked on crack and Mini Thins
    I'm tired of this DJ playing your shit when he spins
    Tired of not having a deal
    Tired of having to deal with the bullshit without grabbing the steel
    Tired of drowning in my sorrow
    Tired of having to borrow a dollar for gas to start my Monte Carlo
    I'm tired of motherfuckers spraying shit and dartin' off
    I'm tired of jobs startin' off at $5.50 an hour
    Then this boss wonders why I'm smartin' off
    I'm tired of being fired every time I fart and cough
    Tired of having to work as a gas station clerk for this jerk breathing down my neck, driving me berserk
    I'm tired of using plastic silverware
    Tired of working at Builder's Square
    Tired of not being a millionaire

    But if I had a million dollars
    I'd buy a damn brewery and turn the planet into alcoholics
    If I had a magic wand
    I'd make the world suck my dick without a condom on while I'm on the john

    If I had a million bucks
    It wouldn't be enough because I'd still be out robbing armored trucks
    If I had one wish
    I would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss

    I'm tired of being white trash, broke and always poor
    Tired of taking pop bottles back to the party store
    I'm tired of not having a phone
    Tired of not having a home to have one in if I did have one on
    Tired of not driving a BM
    Tired of not working at GM
    Tired of wanting to be him
    Tired of not sleeping without a Tylenol PM
    Tired of not performing in a packed coliseum
    Tired of not being on tour
    Tired of fucking the same blonde whore after work in the back of a Contour
    I'm tired of faking knots with a stack of ones
    Having a lack of funds and resorting back to guns
    Tired of being stared at
    Tired of wearing the same damn Nike Air hat
    Tired of stepping in clubs, wearing the same pair of Lugz
    Tired of people saying they're tired of hearing me rap about drugs
    Tired of other rappers who ain't bringing half the skill as me
    Sayin' they wasn't feeling me on "Nobody's As Ill As Me"
    And I'm tired of radio stations telling fibs
    Tired of JLB saying "Where Hip-Hop lives"

    But if I had a million dollars
    I'd buy a damn brewery and turn the planet into alcoholics
    If I had a magic wand
    I'd make the world suck my dick without a condom on while I'm on the john

    If I had a million bucks
    It wouldn't be enough because I'd still be out robbing armored trucks
    If I had one wish
    I would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss

    Y'know what I'm saying?
    I'm tired of all of this bullshit
    Telling me to be positive
    How am I 'posed to be positive when I don't see shit positive?
    Y'know what I'm saying?
    I rap about shit around me, shit I see
    Y'know what I'm saying?
    And right now I'm tired of everything
    Tired of all this player-hating that's going on in my own city
    Can't get no airplay
    Y'know what I'm saying?
    But hey, it's cool though
    Y'know what I'm saying?
    I'm just fed up
    That's my word

  61. Taylor Brown

    What is life?
    Life is like a big obstacle
    In front of your optical to slow you down
    And every time you think you gotten past it
    It's gonna come back around and tackle you to the damn ground
    What are friends?
    Friends are people that you think are your friends
    But they really your enemies, with secret identities
    And disguises, to hide they true colors
    So just when you think you close enough to be brothers
    They want to come back and cut your throat when you ain't lookin'
    What is money?
    Money is what makes a man act funny
    Money is the root of all evil
    Money'll make them same friends come back around
    Swearing that they was always down
    What is life?
    I'm tired of life
    I'm tired of backstabbing ass snakes with friendly grins
    I'm tired of committing so many sins
    Tired of always giving in when this bottle of Henny wins
    Tired of never having any ends
    Tired of having skinny friends hooked on crack and many things
    I'm tired of this DJ playing your shit when he spins
    Tired of not having a deal
    Tired of having to deal with the bullshit without grabbing the steel
    Tired of drowning in my sorrow
    Tired of having to borrow a dollar for gas to start my Monte Carlo
    I'm tired of motherfuckers spraying shit and dartin' off
    I'm tired of jobs startin' off at five fifty an hour
    Then this boss wonders why I'm smartin' off
    Tired of being fired every time I fart and cough
    Tired of having to work as a gas station clerk
    For this jerk breathing down my neck driving me berserk
    I'm tired of using plastic silverware
    Tired of working in Building Square
    Tired of not being a millionaire
    But if I had a million dollars
    I'd buy a damn brewery, and turn the planet into alcoholics
    If I had a magic wand,
    I'd make the world suck my dick
    Without a condom on,
    While I'm on the john
    If I had a million bucks
    It wouldn't be enough,
    Because I'd still be out
    Robbing armored trucks
    If I had one wish
    I would ask for a big enough ass
    For the whole world to kiss
    I'm tired of being white trash, broke and always poor
    Tired of taking pop bottles back to the party store
    I'm tired of not having a phone
    Tired of not having a home
    To have one in if I did have it on
    Tired of not driving a B-M
    Tired of not working at G-M, tired of wanting to be him
    Tired of not sleeping without a Tylenol P-M
    Tired of not performing in a packed coliseum
    Tired of not being on tour
    Tired of fucking the same blond whore
    After work in the back of a Contour
    I'm tired of faking knots with a stack of ones
    Having a lack of funds and resorting back to guns
    Tired of being stared at
    I'm tired of wearing the same damn Nike Air hat
    Tired of stepping in clubs wearing the same pair of Lugz
    Tired of people saying they're tired of hearing me rap about drugs
    Tired of other rappers who ain't bringin' half the skill as me
    Saying they wasn't feeling me when nobody's as ill as me
    I'm tired of radio stations telling fibs
    Tired of J-L-be saying "Where Hip-Hop Lives"
    But if I had a million dollars
    I'd buy a damn brewery, and turn the planet into alcoholics
    If I had a magic wand, I'd make the world suck my dick
    Without a condom on, while I'm on the john
    If I had a million bucks
    It wouldn't be enough, because I'd still be out
    Robbing armored trucks
    If I had one wish
    I would ask for a big enough ass
    For the whole world to kiss
    You know what I'm saying?
    I'm tired of all of this bullshit
    Telling me to be positive
    How'm I 'sposed to be positive when I don't see shit positive?
    Know what I'm sayin'?
    I rap about shit around me, shit I see
    Know what I'm sayin'?
    Right now I'm tired of everything
    Tired of all this player hating that's going on in my own city
    Can't get no airplay, you know what I'm sayin'?
    But ey, it's cool though, you know what I'm sayin'?
    Just fed up
    That's my word

  62. Jack Sparrow

    Who's still on this Oct 2019? On house arrest 9 mos now pre trial still thumping this hungry shit. G.O.A.T.

  63. Adam Wiliams

    What are friends 💯🔥 snakes !

  64. Only One ALLAH. ALLAHU AKBAR.

    If I had a $million.

  65. Alan Oliver

    Cats fish gonna

  66. Apathy :P

    2019, this song popped in my head and just hearing this brings back some good memories. Hell ya. 🤘👀🤘

  67. Alejandro Kemper

    Coming from the inner city of michigan, this song's hits me hard..
    "I rap about shit around me"
    #murderMitten

  68. db boss

    if I had a million dollars they would tax it cus that's what the fuck they do

  69. HighGFL420

    This just gets more and more relatable in my life as I grow older

  70. 장민노

    Tired of got fired

  71. 장민노

    Listening this after 10hours hard work. My employer said to me like "motherfucker"

    Idiocracy i

    Stuck on the sslp for about 10 years, hope one day will make our way out of it

  72. Vilinity

    im tired of life that is me right now for real

  73. SHOAIB ANSARI

    Tired of strugels. Tired of lost love. Tired of misunderstand girlfraind

  74. Danielle Cody

    If I had a million dollars I'd stop making plays, keep my ass in the house and be his house wife and a bomb ass mom

  75. Joseph Kolb

    This is that real shit. I no. If u been here!!

  76. Throw Away

    All of our problems are relevant, even if you're barely making it or living comfortably.
    Ain't no use discriminating each other for having problems.

  77. Your super sexy boogeyman slayer

    this song came on autoplay when i opened my dresser drawer and realized i dont have any clean underwear.

  78. Nick Wilson

    🔊🔊”What are friends?
    Friends are people that you think are your friends
    But they really your enemies, with secret identities
    And disguises, to hide they true colors
    So just when you think you close enough to be brothers
    They want to come back and cut your throat when you ain't lookin'
    What is money?
    Money is what makes a man act funny
    Money is the root of all evil
    Money'll make them same friends come back around
    Swearing that they was always down”🔊🔊

  79. Lawrence Blue

    Remind something to stick to your ribs.

  80. Lawrence Blue

    Mr .Blue is still taking care of his kids.

  81. Chris Hill

    Best song ever made 💯

  82. Bulg Beats

    🙌🏼

  83. PSN-Nightmarez_tK-fanboy

    Tired of hearing "MgK woN ThE wAR AGaINsT M&m".

  84. Official kreative T.v.

    Perfection for history

  85. April Brown

    Funny I use to be sick of taking pop bottles back to the party store, but now I live in a state with no deposit, yet it still feels like it cost the just as much if not more. Now I miss the days I could take pop bottles back to the party store, oh well.

  86. curtis heard

    Tired of everything

  87. mad max

    "Im tired of not having a deal, tired of having to deal, with the bull shit with out grabbing the steel "....bruh

    Chris Callanan

    i feel you. 90s babys.

  88. TheServing 1886

    nah, but who tryin to rob a couple banks/

  89. Dennis Smuck

    If i had a million Dollars, it wouldn t change a thing, its just paper in different colours!

  90. Gu s

    One of my ‘ favorite tracks by slim shadys is real 🌊
    This mite be random but if anyone got time to listen to my music I appreciate any feedback either way have a good day .

  91. Tapuzii45

    Anyone 2019

  92. gary gaffney

    Anyone here now classic eminem love ya brudda

  93. Nick Brown

    Relevant music can never die. That’s why this still hits harder than anything out right now. Summer 2019 where you guys at?!

  94. CC33

    I swear this song becomes more and more true the older I get.

    Idiocracy i

    Same here.
    stay strong, will get out of it eventually. we got Papa Shady on our side

  95. Dave

    If this was to be released now it would hit number 1 in every state, country and planet!