Eminem - Criminal Lyrics
A lot of people ask me stupid fucking questions.
A lot of people think that what I say on a record or what I talk about on a record, that I actually do in real life or that I believe in it.
Or if I say that I wanna kill somebody that I'm actually gonna do it or that I believe in it.
Well, shit, if you believe that then I'll kill you.
You know why?
Criminal
You're goddamn right
I'm a criminal
Yeah, I'm a criminal
My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge
That'll stab you in the head
Whether you're a fag or lez
Or a homosex, hermaph or a trans-a-vest
Hate fags? The answer's "yes"
Homophobic? Nah, you're just heterophobic
Staring at my jeans, watching my genitals bulging
That's my motherfucking balls,
You'd better let go of 'em
They belong in my scrotum,
You'll never get hold of 'em
"Hey, it's me, Versace
Whoops, somebody shot me!
And I was just checking the mail."
Get it? Checking the 'male'?
How many records you expecting to sell
After your second LP sends you directly to jail?
C'mon! Relax guy, I like gay men
Right, Ken? Give me an "amen". A-men!
Please Lord, this boy needs Jesus
Heal this child, help us destroy these demons
Oh, and please send me a brand new car
And a prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital
Preacher preacher, fifth grade teacher
You can't reach me, my mom can't neither
You can't teach me a goddamn thing
'Cause I watch TV, and Comcast cable
And you ain't able to stop these thoughts
You can't stop me from topping these charts
And you can't stop me from dropping each March
With a brand new CD for these fucking retards
And to think, it's just little ol' me
Mr. Don't-Give-A-Fuck still won't leave
[2x]
I'm a criminal
'Cause every time I write a rhyme,
These people think it's a crime
To tell 'em what's on my mind
I guess I'm a criminal
But I don't gotta say a word,
I just flip 'em the bird
And keep going, I don't take shit from no one
My mother did drugs, hard liquor, cigarettes, and speed
The baby came out disfigured, ligaments indeed
It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she
Don't dare make fun of that baby 'cause that baby was me
I'm a criminal, an animal caged who turned crazed
But how the fuck you supposed to grow up when you weren't raised?
So as I got older and I got a lot taller
My dick shrunk smaller, but my balls got larger
I drink more liquor
To fuck you up quicker
Than you'd wanna fuck me up for saying the word ...
My morals went ... when the president got oral
Sex in his Oval Office on top of his desk
Off of his own employee
Now don't ignore me,
You won't avoid me
You can't miss me, I'm white, blonde-haired
And my nose is pointy
I'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die
In plane crashes and laughs
As long as it ain't happened to him
Slim Shady, I'm as crazy as Eminem and Kim combined
"The Maniac's in" in place of the doctor
'Cause Dre couldn't make it today
He's a little under the weather,
So I'm taking his place
Oh, that's Dre with an AK to his face
Don't make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the place
I told you Dre, you should've kept that thang put away
I guess that'll teach you not to let me play with it, eh?
I'm a criminal
Aight look (uh huh) just go up in that motherfucker
Get the motherfucking money and get the fuck up outta there
Aight
I'll be right here waiting on you
Aight
Yo Em
What?!
Don't kill nobody this time
Awwright. Goddamn, this motherfucker gets on my fucking nerves
Aha?
How you doin'?
Hi, how can I help you?
Yeah I need to make a withdrawal
Okay
Put the fucking money in the bag bitch and I won't kill you!
What? Oh my God, don't kill me
I'm not gonna kill you bitch, quit looking around.
Don't kill me, I've got two kids at home don't kill me, don't kill me
I said I'm not gonna fucking kill you
Hurry the fuck up! Thank you!
Go, go, go!
Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in it
So when I rob a bank, run out and just dive in it
So I'll be disguised in it
And if anybody identifies the guy in it
I'll hide for five minutes
Come back, shoot the eyewitness
Fire at the private eye hired to pry in my business
Die, bitches, bastards, brats, pets
This puppy's lucky I didn't blast his ass yet
If I ever gave a fuck, I'd shave my nuts
Tuck my dick in between my legs and cluck
You motherfucking chickens ain't brave enough
To say the stuff I say, so just tape it shut
Shit, half the shit I say, I just make it up
To make you mad so kiss my white naked ass
And if it's not a rapper that I make it as
I'mma be a fucking rapist in a Jason mask
[4x]
I'm a criminal
'Cause every time I write a rhyme,
These people think it's a crime
To tell 'em what's on my mind
I guess I'm a criminal
But I don't gotta say a word,
I just flip 'em the bird
And keep going, I don't take shit from no one
Other Lyrics by Artist
- Eminem - Like Home
- Eminem - Greatest
- Eminem - Lucky You
- Eminem - Paul (Skit)
- Eminem - Normal
- Eminem - Em Calls Paul (Skit)
- Eminem - Stepping Stone
- Eminem - Not Alike
- Eminem - Kamikaze
- Eminem - Fall
- Eminem - The Ringer
- Eminem - Arose
- Eminem - Bad Husband
- Eminem - Tragic Endings
- Eminem - Framed
- Eminem - Nowhere Fast
- Eminem - Heat
- Eminem - Offended
Rand Lyrics
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Eminem Criminal Comments
This is the eminem, irreverent, abrasive, I love.
How do so many people today, who grew up with this version of Eminem, become such pussies? Some even went as far as voting for Hillary lol
Best Eminem song ever!
I like "I drink more liquor to ruck you up quicker then you would fuck me up for saying the word..." anyone else?
Btw ruck is auto fix
I doubt the "Politically Correct" snowflakes care for this song very much. So, the question is? Why would they praise a rapper who for the most part made songs just like this one for the sole reason he made one stupid one bashing OUR current POTUS? HYPOCRISY much?
Em will always be the best 😍
If it's not a rapper I make it as I'll be a fucking rapist in a Jason mask !
#AnthonyTyrrellSimpson
when you fill moominvalley with crime
I was born in 98* but believe we ain't all lost baby girl haha lmao sarcasm implied.
Have a good holiday man. Will try to have a better year next year. Tryin already.
Thank you.
Its a good song I enjoy hearing it. I could fix it up but its good hearin it.
4:05 me in gta
I was just checking the mail😂
Fuck yeah when Eminem was cool as fuck.
‘And if it’s not a rapper that I make it as I’ma be a fucking rapist is a Jason mask’ 🤣 Em just didn’t give two fucks
"I'm gunna become a rapist in a Jason mask" hahah 🤣 still one of my favourite lines to this day I don't know why it just a Giant middle finger!
I'm encouraged by what Bill did. At least he showed his humanness it's the fact he wasn't honest straight up that disappointed me. Let's see how many people not the president have done the same things ?? Bet there's a hell of a lot. It's easy to judge someone in a position of power and everyone says tsk tsk and are outraged.. yet what's the number one reason for divorce? Was it ever asked if Hillary was being a good wife and meeting her husband's needs? I mean a women is supposed to honour her husband.. isn't that why they marry in the first place out of love.. or was it a marriage of convenience
I have A Micheal Myres Mask if u want to be a rapist in a mask boi
Eminem: This puppy's lucky i didnt blast its a** yet Me:😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 oh reaaly then why does every dog have ahole in it ?🤔 Get it? An AHOLE IN KT? ya ik my joke was bad but so was eminem's oooooh boi u just got SERVED
MY TEETH GOT SMALLER BUT MY BALLS GOT BIGGER OMFG IM SORRY BUT THAT KILLS ME EVERYTIME!!!!!😂😂😂😂♥️💕😘
What are you on about 😂
I jus flip em the bird n keep goin I don’t take shit from no one🖕🏿
And if it’s not a rapper dat I make it as, ima be a fuckin rapist in a Jason mask #classic
I’m the bad guy who makes fun of people that die in plane crashes and laughs as long as it ain’t happen to him
This guy rapped as 5 different people/personalities lol amazing #legend #classic
It's criminal that they don't make songs like this anymore.
@fionnponsonby
My rooommate hates Eminem... so I BLAST this when he pisses me off.
This could be so sick if he wasnt brought in posh developed America
drugs + hate = slim shady
homophobic no you just heterphobic . nuff said ***k LGBT n fa***ts
4:18-4:36 one of my favorite sequences of bars ever. That shits so fucking raw and goes so hard. He truly didn't give a single fuck back then and said the most fucked up shit he could possibly think of just to offend people. I love it
RIP will be missed.
Never a fan of his music!
Oh, Eminem is so cute!
near the amen part he sounds like Canadian people on south park
Why andrea
My dad gave me Slim shady LP. Look at me now dad lol
said everything but nigger, still a lame in my book are we equal or not? white people still dancing around minorities and thats why this country is falling apart
Anthony Smith you have absolutely no idea what you are talking about smh 😂
@Danny Tanner why don't you enlighten me or are you going to say something like "I don't have the time to explain"
FOR SAYIN THE WORD-
All sjw's shud be forced to listen to this song every mornin 😅😅😅
*CAUSE I'M A CRIMINAL*
booom. thank you
This song would cause World War III if it came out today..
If anyone thinks Eminem likes you queers........ Think again 🔥🔥🔥🏳️🌈
No one talking about how em obviously said the n word at 2:45???
Big Smoake he said I drink more liquor not the n word
Aaaaa-meeeen-aah 😂😂😂
i like gay mean, right ken?
sml: you copied cody.
Normal people: Amen
Ken Kaniff: AAA-Men
Generic comment about how people are snowflakes. Generic Complaint that people will Get mad if I use homophobic slurs.
Give me likes for being so controversial, yet so brave.
Relax guy, we like gay men!
@Angry BlondE aaaaa-men
and now he made song "what if i was a gay" wtf man
it was leaked, it wasn't supposed to be dropped
I always loved how he says "thank you" and then shoots her anyway 😂😂😂😂
Dre "I'm packing up my bags" Eminem "nah bitch you ain't done yet I'm gonna use you in every song I need filler"
He killed that b and didn't even have to.. mer👽👾
Incriminating
"I'm a bad guy who makes fun of people that die in plane crashes" .........this hasn't aged well lmaooo
Plane crashes? Which one are you referring to or are you referring to all of them?
@Dylan Rodrigues This album came out like a year before 9/11
@mad marauder oh damn lol
Who has the best:
Criminal EMINƎM - Like
Criminal Britney Spears - Comment
Nobody picked Britney.lmao
@Joshua Sutton yeah
3:58 me playing reaper
Rep Eminem b4 Detroit...yes I'm from Michigan
"oh that's dre with an AK to his face, don't make me kill him too" I died of laughter
So in my comic my main character Hunt's sick killers.were talking Texas chainsaw massacre type no hope.he always brings up to them how he likes they don't scream. Explain to them how he prefers to save the inacent from fear itself.
If I survive this one pray to God!!!!!!
Most underrated eminem song
2300 heterophobes disliked this video.
Moja cura ima decka-Stoka🔥💪
That puppy that squeals after he says that tho xD
Back when I downloaded this song it didn't completely download so in the last verse it went.."this puppy's lucky I didn't blast his ass ass ass" on repeat for the rest of the song...now it's all I hear when it gets to that part
Instead of the present give me you're wife to fuck🤷♂️ stupid I can put that money to better use 🤣
Wow, politically correct brainwashed losers are really out there in numbers lol. Clearly the greatest Eminem song ever and that many thumbs down from overly-sensitive losers.
Glad he didn't become a rapist in a Jason mask.
This was my favourite song when I was 9 years old
I'm a criminal, because every time I write a rhyme people think it's a crime; to tell them what's on my mind. I guess I'm a criminal, but I don't gotta say a word, I just flip em the 🐦.. I don't take no shit from no 1
Really a criminal. I did drugs
" if it's no a rapper that I make it's as, I'll be a fuckin rapist in a Jason mask" 😂😂 if he said that now he would shit on the internet and get swatted not only by swat but every millenial that's not black or hood in any way😂😂
First time it said criminal scared me so bad
"half the shit I say I just make it up to make you mad" - Me on the internet 😂
2:46 for saying the word...
Scru diss track brought me here 😆
The source magazine was wildin when they decided to diss em after he dropped a song like this
I'm gay and the line at 1:04 didn't offend me at all. In fact, I think straight people get pissed over the line more than the LGBTQ Community does
Oh and guys, hes subbed to Logan Paul, so that sums it up.
@FireFusionYT yeah i am lol, needed updates for the ksi vs logan paul fight
Slav do u think taking a dick up ur ass will make you gay? Exactly
Zelieouss we greeks were pretty crazy back in the day 😂
Fkn oath
Em is straight OG savage!!
Dawg I'm bi and love this song
Please lord help us destroy these demons
I'm so ANGRY. Admittedly, I have thought about coming up behind someone. Put them in a chokehold and shot them in the head.
Hahahahaha thank you
By far one of my favorite em songs ever. This, white america, Stan, and square dance. 💜
One of his best. IMO
I'll cluck and still yell timber
hey Brit this was my even favoriter song when I was with you.... home schooled be a bee gunner...
THIS PUT A SMILE TO MY FACE ANYDAY... FUNNY AF
THE LIBERACE PART/MAIL IS HELLLLL LOL
He wants to get fucked so bad I'll do him that favor for free.
No. You don't understand. This is about others trying to take care of my children. Stop trying to steal my children's wealth, pig.
Not if my dad beats you to it 😩
You CANNOT beat this shit
drank more liquor to fuck you up quicker then you'd wanna fuck me up for sayin the word...
back then he had hella balls for that line