Electric Six - My Struggle With Heroin Lyrics






I was on the inside looking out for you
You were on the outside looking in
You talked a lot about original sin
And you were only nineteen baby

I like to talk about your fantasies
I like to talk about your dreams
You like to talk about my struggle with heroin
And why I look so sleepy

Oh yeah
I’m just another trendy creature of habit
Oh yeah
My heart’s here for you so reach out and grab it
Oh yeah
You can have your cake and eat it
What’s wrong with you
So I’ve got a couple of problems
But who doesn’t have a few?
But I don’t understand why I don’t understand you
I don’t understand why I don’t understand you

Took you to a fancy restaurant
Go to place with no escape
I had a little run in with your ignoramus
Saw your ex-boyfriend

He looked me up and down and over
He searched me up and down the sides
He tried to break every bone in my hand
And undress you late at night

Oh yeah
I just love we’ve got these stupid complications
Oh yeah
I ? drugs and accusations
Oh yeah
You can have your cake and eat it
What’s wrong with you
So I’ve got a couple of problems
But who doesn’t have a few?
But I don’t understand why I don’t understand you
I don’t understand why I don’t understand you

This could be the time sister
To be sisterly to me
I follow you into the fire
And you owe me, yeah

Oh yeah
You can have your cake and eat it
What’s wrong with you
So I’ve got a couple of problems
But who doesn’t have a few?
But I don’t understand why I don’t understand you
I just don’t understand why I don’t understand you





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Electric Six My Struggle With Heroin Comments
  1. M.... A....

    Great video, you need to get back on vloging

  2. L.... ....

    The way you're overdramatizing this whole thing is totally disgusting. People already have a negative image of addicts. I'm not saying your ex isn't an abusive asshole, what I mean is you're putting it as if he's like that BECAUSE of his addiction.

  3. B.... p....

    That bag of herion is like so much holy fuck dude

  4. x.... k....

    You’re so strong for sharing your story❤️

  5. c.... r....

    You are very strong. You made a mistake. Stop beating yourself up. You have your entire life ahead of you and I think that you deserve happiness and a second chance. You are wonderful taylor.

  6. a.... w....

    Change your lane to lean..its better and give you a good sleep hihi

  7. J.... B....

    Youre very strong for being able to go against your will of wanting a drug, im proud of you Taylor, months later lol love u

  8. L.... 1....

    Just found this video from the vice interview and all I can say is wow! You seriously just told a part of a lot of addicts story and I seriously applaud you for that! I can relate so much to the aftermath and what it's like trying to live without substances. I can't wait to follow you on your new journey. 💕

  9. N.... B....

    Well done Queen

  10. H.... T....

    I'm hooked on phonics

  11. T.... R....

    If u want to learn how u r look into the occult or Gnosticism golden ratio etc as above so below good look on your quest 💪🏻

  12. B.... V....

    Let me tell you my Story!!
    I was in a relationship for 4 yrs with this guy and both got hooked on heroin but he always went to jail so i meet this awesome guy called my boyfriend right now and were hsppily together we just bought a house i have a job as waitress and makeupartist and also trying to become a youtuber!!! But my past life was a disaster literally at the age of 22 i was leaving down a creek with no food, or water just with needles all over me it was a nightmare...

    B.... V....

    Girl dont feel lonely you have your parents the only ones that love you no matter what Trust me.....
    Those 4 yrs were the worst of my life the withdrawal was the worst , plus right now im on methadone and it has help me a lot but i dont recommend either....

  13. O.... W....

    I was a heroin addict when I was 18, on my 22nd birthday this Sunday I’ll be sober one whole year. I was shooting up with my boyfriend which is the MOST TOXIC thing bc you romanticize your drug use and it’s even harder to get clean bc you’re not only losing the drugs you’re also losing your partner in crime... So heckin proud of you for leaving both !!!!

  14. O.... ....

    I’m in recovery too babe. Proud of you, stay strong sister.

  15. m.... l....

    We all new you was a crack head stop acting like nobody new all ready

  16. J.... P....

    Proud of you Taylor

  17. V.... S....

    Who's her ex bf?

  18. D.... M....

    5 years clean myself.
    It gets easier as time goes in my experience.
    You’ve got this ♥️

  19. J.... D....

    You are so beautiful. I don't have any drug addictions, but I'm so proud of you. You're awesome! Stay safe.

  20. J.... J....

    The cat in the back at the beginning 😂

  21. J.... G....

    I'm so sorry for what is going on in Your life..😢😢😢😢😢

  22. C.... E....

    Started watching your videos about 2 months ago, I'm also a heroin addict in treatment right now. I discovered your videos when I was having an insanely bad craving day and I watched your videos for hours and hours. You helped me out so much and I just wanted to let you know that you can get clean and I can get clean and I'm proud of you for being a strong person and facing your addiction head on. Thank you so much for the videos, you literally saved my life that day. Keep up the good work missy!!😊
    - Caleb E.

  23. A.... L....

    Please consider reading a book by Allen Carr.

  24. j.... b....

    God grant me the serenity
    to accept the things I cannot change;
    courage to change the things I can;
    and wisdom to know the difference.
    - I just leave this here addiction is hard.

  25. A.... E....

    38:43 - I’m going to bed and don’t wanna loose my spot

  26. A.... M....

    I was in denial for so long. Opioids are so dangerous and they'll take you over without you even knowing. This whole story hit close to home and I'm so happy I'm free from my toxic ex.

  27. T.... U....

    I got that same rash. It looks like psorasis

  28. T.... U....

    80 days clean from heroin. <3

  29. N.... R....

    Remember...as hard as it gets, when your day sucks, it’s worth it, YOUR worth it!! I was stuck in heroin for 10 years, 4 rehabs, 5 years clean..I see the scars on my arm and it reminds me where I never want to be again. Don’t you dare give up!!

    If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

  30. I.... F....

    Thanks for sharing your story Taylor ❤️ I think you’re very strong and can overcome this ❤️ lots of love ❤️

  31. K.... H....

    I’m 23 and already an alcoholic. Drinking 2 bottles of wine every night. It’s starting to scare me how hard it is to stop.

    K.... H....

    But don't give up, you can stop it!
    Not sayin it easy, but it's possible
    Be strong man! Wish you the best, never give up

    K.... H....

    I always thought addiction was a choice until I got addicted to alcohol

    K.... H....

    Mr Str thank you!!!

  32. M.... M....

    Taylor Nicole Dean thank you so much for posting. I'm a binger of crack. I don't use everyday but when I use I do it enormously. I will subscribe today. This helped me and I'm hoping it sinks in. I've been wanting to get clean for a long time.

  33. m.... ....

    Taylor Dean!!!! PLEASE READ: I just came across your story and I would like to tell you this..... First off you are amazing, and I have the utmost respect for you. I too was addicted to opioids including heroin. I'm 5 years sober and in a few months I will have 3 degrees, 2 in psychology with attention to addiction counseling. I would love to have a chat with you because I have so many questions, as well as to let you know more about me. Hope to hear from you. Most importantly please please please stay sober!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  34. H.... L....

    You are very brave to post this! My sister had been on heroin for a couple of months and I did not know. She died instantly in 2018 from the fentanyl laced in the heroin. Keep your self worth and don’t ever give it away to anyone or anything again. You are worth living and being happy.

  35. 9.... i....

    Any needle users on here who are in rehab. Message me if you want to get a quick free fix. Females preferred. I will hook u up in return for some hanging out time 😉

  36. U.... 1....

    That assistance is such. A. Hero.

  37. F.... B....

    I applaude anyone who can pull through any addiction. Especially heroin. I'm a very new watcher, havent even subscribed yet, but, I am proud of you. Im proud of anyone who can overcome addiction because it is not easy. I hope you never have to deal with this again. I hope you live a long and fulfilled life.

  38. C.... C....

    have you ever heard of/tried vivitrol shots to stop cravings And even if you did happen to relapse you would feel nothing and it would hopefully stop you from relapsing again.

  39. S.... C....

    We Love you Tylor! & God Loves you & has great plans for you, I was addicted to pills, that's in the past.

  40. H.... M....

    This is probably really stupid but could someone please send me some good energy. I am struggling from the most excruciating ulcerative colitis and kidney pain! I will never give up. I am so proud of you too T.N.D. ! Your animal channel helps me so much!

    H.... M....

    Help Me Relax don’t worry you got this you just gotta stay strong finish strong 💪🏾 hope you do well

  41. A.... C....

    Man your absolutely gorgeous and I’m on your channel and don’t even go near channels like this but I saw you get a tattoo and followed you to your channel (haha not literally follow you)

  42. A.... C....

    I was on heroin for 16 years. I’ve been clean now for two years.

  43. S.... W....

    Your story is so inspiring. I really want to follow you on Instagram, but my mom lost my phone, and I am currently using my laptop. Soooo....But anyway, thank you so much for sharing this story. FORGET THE HATERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  44. e.... a....

    I’m not addicted to hard drugs but i am a nicotine addict. It’s been hard and i haven’t been clean yet in about 7 months. i want to become clean but it’s really hard

  45. C.... C....

    Girl fuck u

  46. S.... W....

    My parents would hate you for being a drug addict...but you're my hero.

  47. D.... ....

    Thank you for this video. You are so brave! My father was a heroin and meth addict for 14 years and left my life when I was 4. I am now almost 22 and flew back to my home town to visit him twice after 16 years of no contact because that’s my dad and regardless I still love and care for him so deeply. It was extremely hard. During his addiction he was on and off the streets and the toll that this lifestyle took on him was disturbing, unsettling and very traumatic. I never ever understood, growing up I knew “daddy has a lot of problems honey and he stays away for the best and he still loves you” is what I always heard from my mom but it still hurt my heart. I didn’t know what was going on for years or if he was still alive at some points. My dad has been sober for 2 years now, doing the methadone treatment because if he doesn’t take it he knees will buckle and he will shake. I witnessed this when I went to visit and it was absolutely terrifying. Your video has really helped me understand because as much as I tried I just really could not grasp how this even happens and if addiction is a choice or a disease, I just really didn’t get it. My dad also has PTSD and Bi Polar Disorder which I have both illnesses as well ( from genetics and unfortunate circumstances) There have been times I have gone down some dark paths and tried oxy and pain meds, but I never really felt that NEED for them, I would fuck around with it a few more times and then never touched it, well mostly because mom found out and beat my ass and said if you think that hurts, being addicted to drugs is worse and thats when she told me about my dad. Which scared me away from experimenting with drugs like I was beginning to do and just stuck to smoking weed (which helps my mental illnesses) and helps my dad a lot with his illnesses too. This has all been a roller coaster through out my life and so much emotional pain because no one teaches you how to live with your father being a heroin and meth addict. I really cannot put into words the toll that it took on me growing up and then eventually having a memory trigger from before he left of him shooting up infront of me but I didn’t understand at the time and suppressed the memory. My dad is really trying and I’m so proud of him. He says I inspire him because of my positive attitude and how I’m in college had inspired him to be more productive. He has a beautiful husky that helps him a lot, he goes for bike rides during the day and long walks to keep himself active and occupied. He is really interested in studying different religions and symbolism and history and spends time at the library reading and researching and trying really hard to stay productive. He is also a musician and has still been involved with his music. I am so so proud of my dad, he is trying really hard to be better for himself and be a better dad to me. Thank you for helping me understand this topic further and sharing your story. Thank you so so much.

  48. n.... k....

    Me to. A fentanyl addict to be exact.

  49. A.... P....

    I was in a similar situation, but I was able to escape. The manipulation caused me to not even see her heroin addiction. This brings back terrible memories, and I am so happy you took a big step. Good luck on everything!

  50. b.... ....

    bro you're too cute to be doing drugs. Stop doing drugs before it ruins your life and your beauty. You can do it.

  51. S.... W....

    26:36 Not judging, but how do you flush something down the sink? LOL

  52. B.... G....

    I started watching your channel about a year into a hydrocodone addiction. I found it very soothing listening to you talk to and about your animals. I stopped watching when I was arrested for the pills. Afew years later I’m watching this sober and I wish you the best in your lifelong battle. You are stronger than the drug. Don’t chase the feeling 💕❤️

  53. R.... A....

    “We accept the love we think we deserve”

  54. G.... F....

    This is a great video and I really enjoyed it and the look into her story but her eye liner was driving my ocd insane I'm so sorry

  55. S.... L....

    I can’t stop thinking about you and your story. I’ve been there too

  56. E.... G....

    Thank you so much for sharing! I have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression... I'm an alcoholic and It's very hard, especially as a young person (not everyone believes you)! You're an inspiring person! Stay strong! ❤

  57. A.... R....

    You’re a beautiful soul Taylor wish you nothing but the best in life ♥️

  58. S.... L....

    There is very little accountability for your own choices in this story. You blame your ex and for most of the hour long video.

  59. T.... 1....

    The drugs i tried were weed 4 times Xanax 2 times and cocoaine 1 time and im still sober i took a small line and i never tried again i only smoke now i smoke cigarettes its been a year im 16

    T.... 1....

    At 16? How the hell are you even getting the opportunity to do coke? Im 22 and don't even know where to get it. Hopefully you keep on the sober streak! Also i highly reccomend you stop smoking cigarettes. You got another 5 years before you can even buy them legally.. and whoever is currently buying them for you now can get into a lot of trouble for doing so. Break that habit now.. You will be a lot more better off

    T.... 1....

    @Jennifer B My friend have people that bring it

    T.... 1....

    @Jennifer B I get my own cigarettes bro lmao theres a shop here which i went for a straight week they didnt give it to me then when they saw that i didnt give up they started giving it to me

    T.... 1....

    @ToXic 187 Uh there is no where in America where you can buy them legally. The federal legal age has been raised to 21 and before that was 18. So whoever is selling them to you is selling them illegally. Unless you don't live in America, which then that age difference would make more sense.

    T.... 1....

    @Jennifer B I dont live in america bro and where i live its 18+ not 21+

  60. G.... ....

    It's not the drug that makes the habit, but the need to escape that does. Addiction is not the result of drug use. Addiction is a societal disease and one of the mind, it's far more sinister and complex than a chemical can ever be. Drugs are the vehicle for the crippled, making one feel like they can run when they can barely walk.

    G.... ....

    Gixxer90 it took me two years into my addiction to come to terms with that. I feel like some addicts deny it and brush it off but there’s some that use that to feed into their addiction. It comes with denial and shame. If it’s not treated then I don’t think anyone that are addicts could get actual help. I hope people who try drugs know that addiction is more than just the drug and the high. It’s avoidance and it’s toxic.

  61. T.... P....

    I’m 14 years sober

  62. J.... D....

    Who can not appreciate her honesty? You may disagree with her on most topics and subjects but who fails to appreciate her beauty and honesty. Thank GOD she is working hard to turn her life around. I am hoping the best for this beautiful young woman. Taylor, you are A very introspective young lady with excellent communication skills. We are all rooting for you.

  63. A.... G....

    The biggest victims in this whole situation are the animals you neglected. Fuck you.

    A.... G....

    Shut the fuck up

  64. S.... ....

    I’ve been sober since June 1st, 2015 from heroin and meth. I was a poly substance user so I have dabbled in addiction to multiple things. Listening to your story was like hearing my story. If I can do it anyone can do it. So proud of you and happy for you! Life in recovery is possible ❤️

    S.... ....

    I've never done drugs or drink before

    S.... ....

    :))))))))

  65. K.... A....

    This gave me the strength to leave my relationship and get help with my addiction.

  66. A.... a....

    Taylor, FUCK THEM!!! You are awesome. Do you have an email, i have a video proposition for you about the MANY reasons people become addicts, I don't really wanna discuss it her but if you are interested send me a message here or on insta @i.am.aimy xx

  67. J.... N....

    I have 2yr 8 months clean from heroin, it's possible to stay sober. Stay focused and work hard on ur recovery and anything is possible. Life is so much better

  68. S.... 3....

    You look like LIV TYLER. 💜💜💜💜

  69. K.... O....

    Wow I hate your ex

  70. A.... D....

    Taylor !! 😊

  71. S.... ....

    I’m an ex heroine Addict as well 2 years sober in may 2020, started with pain pills then started hitting new low’s from there to sniffing heroine, to smoking, to injecting, opiate addiction is very misunderstood, when people say they want to quit but can’t, it’s the truth you are unable to stop the agony of acute withdrawals are something that is very very difficult to beat. I COULD NOT QUIT ON MY OWN, after repeatedly trying to get sober and relapsing time and time again, I went to a treatment facility that slowly weened me off and got me through the most terrible withdrawals, restless legs, crippling anxiety, and nausea. SUBOXONE SAVED MY LIFE, Taylor please go to a treatment facility and get a small prescription for suboxone just to make sure you don’t ever go back to the drugs, and this might be a hard one but move to a new city away from familiar faces, and I’m sorry but block your boyfriends number and never talk to him, to get sober it’s not just the drugs your whole life has to change and things will get shitty but you have to know what you want, sobriety or this train wreck up and down of a relationship, YOU ARE SMART, YOU HAVE STRENGTH, YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER, YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON, AND YOU CAN BEAT THIS. Not all days are good there’s going to be shitty but they get better, have patience with your self, love and strength from Canada hope things get better fast!!!!

  72. E.... *....

    Wow me to but i stop 🔜

  73. X.... 1....

    Worrying about some damn turtles then yourself take care of urself ma

  74. X.... 1....

    I knew u were addict to something when u bought 500$ turtle

  75. M.... ....

    I know I’m 5 months late and you probably won’t see this, but the first video I watched of you was your feeding your animals video and I couldn’t help myself but to keep watching. Something about you just drew me in. Then I watched this video and it made complete sense. I’m 26 years old. I started using heroin at 14. An ex introduced me. And I just wanted to make everyone happy. I used from 14 to 21 when I gave birth to my daughter. I now have 5 years clean and 2 beautiful little girls. But yet I still feel so alone. I don’t understand what’s wrong with me that no one wants to be friends with me or even just grab a drink. Sometimes I think no one would even notice if I was gone. Maybe some people would be happy. Idk. I guess what I’m saying is you aren’t alone. You are so beautiful and from what I’ve seen incredibly smart. Just hang in there. I tell myself everyday it will get better, even though In the back of my head I don’t know if I will make it to 30. Life is just horrible. But you have to try and make the best of it. Somehow. I don’t know if I’m telling you this or myself. But either way someone needs to hear it. Depression and addiction together are no joke. I truly hope you find your happiness. ❤️

  76. J.... ....

    OOOOH BLACK HAIR/BLUE EYES HHHMMM HOT

    J.... ....

    ew you fucking creep

  77. S.... R....

    I found your channel because I wanted to set up a home for my mantis....

    Although I was never an addict, I can so relate to your story, staying with a manipulative, abusive (alcohol) addict, no matter how bad you wanted to leave. And he would beg me to stay time and time again. And I did. For me it was a long time ago and I was so, so young at the time, I just wish I didn’t let him do that to me. And I still haven’t told my story to a single soul. He just plays the victim to everyone and calls me a soul destroyer blah blah blah. Even though he doesn’t remember much and I was sober the whole relationship.
    And when you were saying how you just wished he would go to bed so in the morning it’ll be over... I felt that!

    Anyway wow. Sorry for the long message. It’s videos like this that make me know I am/was not alone, and I want to let you know, you’re not alone. I just wish it wasn’t YouTube and I could talk in person, and I wish I was brave enough to upload a video similar to this, for others, and to help me move on.

  78. f.... ....

    Ok so first off before I say anything else.... I will say that putting yourself out there takes major Guts.... Kudous for that!! Now however I do have some issues with your major lack of ACCOUNTABILITY!! No matter how many times or ways you say you were scared or terrified of your boyfriend, absolutely no one is responsible for your addictions and actions besides yourself. He may have introduced you to the world of heroin but you were no stranger to drugs. You yourself said you had tried cocaine and alcohol first. I find it very hard to believe that someone so naive would do cocaine then several different types of pills and heroin by force.
      You knew going into that relationship that your boyfriend had drug issues and yet still went in head first. You seem to point the finger at your boyfriend with ease and that just isn't fair. He may have injected you but he never held you down with force and threatened your life to become a user; Or if he did it wasn't mentioned. Someone your age who bought a house, had a personal assistant and ran a YouTube channel isn't for lack of a better word "stupid."
      As someone who has walked in your shoes and delt with addiction there is no excuse to not clean up dirty needles or blood from a bathroom. You had many animals who needed to be cared for and cleaned up after, that is pure laziness. Yes on "sick" days basic everyday chores can become a task but that doesn't mean things cannot be done on "good" days. The amount of victim playing here is almost inconceivable. At the end of the day you know the difference between right and wrong, you knew your bf was using but chose to stay; then call his ex and play the victim card. He may have said things online you didnt agree with but you chose to turn the other cheek play innocent and profit from the views.
      You knew damn well it wasn't going to be "one night" of drug bingeing and to say otherwise is ridiculous. The amount of drug knowledge from someone so innocent is outstanding and I can't imagine the performance you must have put on. The crocodile tears as you explain how terrified you were is also on a whole new level. I would love to see the screen shots that his ex posted online I'm sure it would show a completely different side of you. If his band mates quit a tour to get away from you I'm sure it wasn't just about the amount of cocaine you were doing but maybe a whole new plain of crazy they couldn't handle. As I'm sure a crying girlfriend isn't what his band signed up for in the first place but once again it was his fault right? You paid for everything and he just took advantage. It sounds like he really twisted your arm to try the pills then the dilaudid. Craziness can be hard to hide and lie about, especially when you're not very good at lying. I'm happy mommy stepped in to force you to get help... you know for your career and all. All in all he may have been an Ass Hat but seriously take accountability, I'm disappointed in your finger pointing and the numerous videos you've posted to cut him down to gain views. You could have executed this whole situation much better. Stay sober "drink water!" 😉

    f.... ....

    Fucken truth! Very well stated. Very few people are telling this girl to take responsibility for her actions, and I am NOT buying into this ridiculous innocent and naive bullshit about her being forced into SHOOTING HEROIN lol. A lot of what she's saying, especially the progression of her choice of drugs doesn't add up in my opinion. Not to mention she was already doing coke before meeting this guy. She knew exactly what she was getting into when she made the decision to inject, and although that dude is clearly a dirt bag, blaming him and eating up all these comments about her being the victim and profiting off the views isn't a good look for any woman. Nor is continuing to make videos about and blame her ex for her own decisions. She needs to get over him, and face the facts that she's a consenting adult who willingly participated. Just like all these commenters need to do if they truly respect this girl as an independent, and intelligent individual. Unless they do think of her as some naive innocent girl who was pushed into every decision she's made when using. We all know better than that, so does she.

    f.... ....

    @Ernest Gonzalez yeah she's continued to make videos talking crap about him. You're right it's not a good look.

  79. D.... 0....

    2 Years Clean!!!! @Taylor Nicole Dean, I just saw u on Vice and came and subscribed!!! U can do this girl!! I been through hell and back with my addiction. I was even on the streets for a LONG time!!! And ALOT more. Now I got 2 years, a job, wife, baby, apartment. Full 360. U got this keep it up!!! There's so many of us addicts out there and we need to stick together. Take care gorgeous ur beautiful!!!

  80. L.... ....

    Recently, I've been kind of obsessing over Layne Staley's and Demri Lara Parrott's death, and this video gave me a lot of insight on what they may have gone through both being addicts. Glad you are recovering. I wish it could've been the same for them.

  81. E.... G....

    First of all, this so called strong and brave women is NOT being as truthful as she claims. Playing the victim is just another example of how she's not taking responsibility for HER OWN ACTIONS. And all of you people pointing the finger at her ex as if he's to blame need to treat her like the ADULT she 100% was when she made the decision to use any drug with her ex, and still is today. Unless he held her down and PHYSICALLY FORCED her to use Heroin, or pills or anything else, then she was a consenting adult women who willingly chose to participate. I mean if you're really giving her the respect that a strong independent woman deserves, then view this woman as just that. An independent thinking and acting intelligent female who makes her own decisions, supports herself, and at 20 years of age very much knows right from wrong. How many smart independent men OR women, or just 20yr old people in general DON'T know that using heroin is probably a bad decision with a huge amount of risk? Let's be real here, and by the way I 100% believe she does deserve respect for getting sober, and I personally know with first hand experience what both heroin addiction is like, what it's like to realize your significant other is using heroin, then decided to use with her, and experienced the undoubted incredible amount of will and determination it takes to get off of any opiate, especially Heroin. I began using pain medication at 18 and shortly after graduated to Heroin with my Fiancee, I didn't blame her and she doesn't blame me. We both knew the risk and exactly what we were getting ourselves into, so did this girl.

    Any 20 a year old woman who grew up in the U.S. and "did coke for 2 days but didn't get high" (LOL total bullshit) I'm willing to bet the house she's tried other drugs well before her ex. She wasn't some innocent girl who just didn't know any better and had her emotions taken advantage of. She was and still is a grown ass adult.

    Am I really the ONLY one who thinks her ex is an all too convenient scapegoat? Am I the only one who isn't buying this whole "I was just a sweet innocent girl before my bad boy ex made me think it was ok to SHOOT HEROIN?!" Then profit from views while projecting an image of America's innocent sweetheart? Stop passing the blame and take responsibility. And anybody who's calling her brave and strong need to treat her like the adult she is and hold her accountable just like she should be doing with herself. That's the ONLY way she will be in control of her addiction and gain the strength to not pick up that needle and use again when it's offered and right in front of her.

    E.... G....

    Here, Here!!👍😉🤗

    E.... G....

    I think it’s the fact that he introduced her to heroin in the first place is why people are so keen to blame everything on him. She even stated that he did help inject her with heroin because she couldn’t find any more veins and when she was too weak to do anything even though she was a willing participant. I agree with most of what you said and I believe she’s taking some blame for it behind the scenes while getting professional help otherwise she can’t fully recover. The whole situation is just complicating because of who her ex is and the fact that he’s not trying to get better and he knocked up his current gf rn and she’s pregnant. Maybe it looks like a scapegoat but her video talking about him felt more like a warning to others that potentially would be his next abuse victim. Also it’s more about her “looking innocent and her ex thinking it’s ok about shooting heroin” it’s more complicating than that.

    E.... G....

    @Rochelle K have you ever done heroin? Because when you can't find a vein, and someone is there who can for you, anybody who's addicted will gladly have somebody else shoot them up instead of remaining sick. Also can I ask why you think she's "taking responsibility behind the scenes?" And if that's the case why not do it on camera? She's not taking responsibility, you know why I say that? Because she relapsed after this video. I agree he's a dirt bag, that's obvious. But as you said she's a willing participant right? Also an adult who did coke before him, then got into opiates with him. Now since they're no longer together, she's not doing herself any favors by taking all this time to blame him. Publicly too, that just shows how immature she is. A lot of what she's saying is bullshit lies, she 100% is trying to be seen as the innocent girl who was pushed into drugs but she's not. They're no longer together, so who cares if he's still shooting heroin? Who cares if he got somebody else pregnant? None of her business or anybody else's for that matter now. This is a revenge video because she can't deal with the fact that they're not together, and a desperate attempt to get attention and justify her own decisions that again she didn't take responsibility for. Worst of all is she's profiting on these lies because people are dumb enough to buy into this whole "females are victims" bullshit. I'd prefer to give women the respect and credibility they deserve, and if she's so strong and brave as everybody keeps telling her then why is everybody playing into this victim shit? She's no victim, she knew it was a horrible idea to do heroin and she did it because she wanted too. So what is she, weak enough to let random dudes convince her to shoot heroin? Or is she a strong intelligent individual who makes her own decisions and takes responsibility for her own actions? She's definitely not taking responsibility in this video, and definitely didn't take responsibility when she relapsed!

  82. S.... F....

    Bless you mama! You’re an amazing amazing person for all the stuff you went through with drugs and how it had a hold on you and your life and mind I’m just wow! I hope you’re doing much better now! Just know that Jesus isn’t giving up on you and he loves you more than you will ever know! I’m in your corner cheering you on lady! ♥️ I know I don’t know you but I love you and hope the best for you & your family xoxox !!!

  83. A.... P....

    we love you! thank you for sharing

  84. A.... C....

    Kudos to you sister!

    I was also taught how to use a needle by a dude. My addiction took a horrible horrible downward spiral for years (not that I wasn’t already on one) This September I will have 4 years clean! Keep doing the damn thing! One day at a time!

  85. K.... H....

    @Taylor Nicole Dean ....I commend you for your courage to tell ur addiction/recovery story I was addicted to herion/pills for 6 years and just recently got sober about 5months ago:) I just needed to throw out there tho (no hate/shade) that when you were talking about cotton getting in ur needle and then in it veins ...its called cotton fever however its bacteria that gets in ur needle and then passed into ur veins not cotton lol no hate tho I used to think that and ALOT of ppl think that at the beginning because of it being called cotton fever and all that but just didnt want ppl to get confused!!! No hate tho I still think you are amazing and brave and am very proud that you got away from not only that d bag of an ex but also the drugs!!!:) much love

  86. S.... .....

    Just found you through the vice documentary. I’m currently struggling with a 10 year heroin addiction (I’m 27 and living in a squat with what seems like no way out ) so my words probably don’t mean much but you are an amazing strong person. You are incredible for so openly coming out with your problems and you are amazing for turning your life around . I feel so proud of you and you’re an inspiration. Don’t stop doing what you’re doing, keep focusing on yourself , keep yourself occupied because that is what helps and always remember how far you’ve come. You have my mad respect xoxo Sofia

  87. S.... D....

    I haven’t been a long time fan. I have never been exposed to stories of addiction and I don’t know of anyone in my life who has an addiction- but this really opened up my eyes about it. I never knew where I stood on the “addiction is an illness stance” because I just never had the exposure, but now I do. You were predisposed to addiction and I feel for you so deep in my heart. I am so, so so so proud of you for getting the help you need and I’m about to watch your video about your life in rehab so I may even better understand. I know it probably doesn’t mean much coming from me, and I know you probably don’t care, but if you ever need some uplifting words you can reach me at my Instagram- @jessezfishez. Please take care and keep trucking. I fell in love with you the first video I ever saw a few months ago, and I just know that there is a guy out there that loves you and just doesn’t know it yet that is healthy for you and will treat you right. Keep trucking lovely ❤️ we love you even through the tough patches.

    *i just want to add, too, that I understand the depression portion of your video and how difficult it is to leave someone who is abusive and emotionally manipulative. It’s hard and I know help is needed and I just want to reiterate that I am EXTREMELY proud of you for getting that help. It’s hard to rely on others and you have done it and are doing it. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

  88. T.... ....

    Hi Ms. Taylor, I do a recovery segment every Tues@8pm. I would love for you to share a little of your experience, strength & Hope. Great video [Liked] Peace&Love, -Tita👵🏾

  89. S.... B....

    It so amazing how strong you are for posting this and also having the will power to engage such a topic with the public. truly amazing. not only because its super personal but not all celebrities/youtubers come clean. you are awesome. and yes mochi is amazing. lots of love.

  90. A.... T....

    I’ve been a heroin addict for 3 years and it is not fun. It’s hard to quit, the sickness is rough, and it just feels so so so good. I’m a fucking junkie, and always will be. Even if I am clean. Don’t ever think that expressing this story is gonna turn people away from you. Because it’s not, you’re explaining something that ACTUALLY happens in life. And as much as people want to judge, they only judge because they do not understand. They don’t understand the addiction, and they don’t understand the pain and agony. Keep your head up girl, you got a lotta supporters.

  91. T.... V....

    Shes so beautiful ✨
    God bless you babygirl ❤️

  92. I.... ....

    Hi Taylor. You’re an inspiration to a lot of people.
    I’m glad you made it through the addiction,
    I Know from experience that it takes a lot of courage, effort, and strength to come out of an addiction.
    I was wondering the other day what had happened to you, now i know, and I’m glad to know you’re still around. I remember watching the video where you showed off all your awesome pets, I was especially in love with the gold flake angel, I hope it’s still alive.
    Stay strong. Don’t ever fall for any low life individuals again, you’re much to beautiful in many ways, and deserve the best.
    Keep doing what you’re doing, your fans are cheering for you. P.S. you should check out Reef2Reef and start a tank build thread, it’s an awesome aquarium community.

    Much love, Gus!

  93. Z.... G....

    You're story touched me

  94. C.... S....

    Who's here from Vice?

  95. M.... M....

    I've went thru precipitated withdrawal three times.... I would have chosen death too. Literally the worst.

    M.... M....

    Cotton fever is horrible too. Ugh.

  96. H.... M....

    That does not look like no heroin addict I’ve ever seen. What she tried it like 3 times.

  97. M.... F....

    Just here to say, I just watched your VICE video, I’m glad you’re coming to terms with what’s going on now in your life!!❤️ one of my best friends from high school has just recently started his rehab from heroine addiction, it’s a long long hard road, you’re a strong girl and you CAN kick this things butt!!! You will forever fight this battle but it’s a battle that you can win!! I wish you all the best and for real fuck all the negativity people may leave! Keep doing what you’re doing!

  98. J.... D....

    This video ended 5+ marriages

    J.... D....

    Really? Could you elaborate on that a bit? Not denying the validity of your comment at all, I just think this so called true story is anything but 100% truthful.

    J.... D....

    @Ernest Gonzalez in the comments everyones saying how this video gave them courage to leave their abusive husband, i saw atleast 3 comments saying that and im sure there were some that didnt comment.

    J.... D....

    @Jack Daniels oh I see, my mistake. I thought you may be referring to the stuff I've been hearing from my wife about the videos she posted after this one. Apparently another hour or two each just droning on about her ex and how he's basically to blame for everything wrong in her life, and other girls lives. I didn't watch them cause I could barely sit through this entire video if it wasn't for my girl listening to it out loud and talking about her Lack of taking any responsibility as a willing participant in any of her actions. Specifically her drug use that apparently only he is responsible for, yet she admits doing coke before him. I figured you may be alluding to more of that "everything bad in my life is your fault" complaining that lead to more drama.

  99. M.... M....

    Hope this helps https://youtu.be/egwj9FYXCOM

  100. T.... N....

    ***Families, Friends, and Partners of Current or Former Struggling Addicts PLEASE Read*
    First off, I never could've predicted such an amazing outpour of support in which I am receiving from this video. I posted a more in-depth thank you on instagram (@taylorndean) if you'd like to hear more of what I have to say. I truly cannot thank you all for being so open minded and kind enough, I love you guys so much, thank you for being a part of my healing.
    Secondly, IF YOU HAVE LOVED ONES STRUGGLING WITH ADDICTION/ALCOHOLISM:
    PLEASE consider going to Al-Anon! This is a free, fully anonymous program for NON ADDICTS affected by the disease. Basically, if a toll is being taken on your life in any way due to a struggling addict in your life (Rather it be your partner, brother, sister, mom, grandpa, friend, etc) this program is made for you. It's a place you can go that helps you heal from any pain, let go of any resentments, gain knowledge about why things have happened in your relationship with the addict, etc. It is not a place for addicts, but a place for the loved ones of addicts. This place does not work around making a victim out of the addict. You do not even have to have the addict in your life currently or ever again to truly benefit from this program. These meetings are always locally run, and some flow better than others based on your personality. I'd highly suggest googling Al-Anon meetings in your area and attending one, and if you don't like it, try another one the next time you're free. I have heard nothing but amazing comments from people who have attended. It truly helps you understand what is happening in the addicts brain, and provides you with a safe understanding environment to share and heal. And if you have been affected by an addict, you absolutely deserve clarity and to heal.

    T.... N....

    I wish I could meet you Taylor... I remember the first time I found your channel about 8 months or so ago... I thought (and think ;~D) that you are easily one of the most inspirational and beautiful women in the world... I binge watched a few of your videos and before I knew it I was researching your Facebook page and I sent you a fairly long message that included an invite to let me come and pick you up and take you to Arizona where I stay so I could take you riding on one of my horses. Lol, it was a long time ago, but the offer still stands. I know u won’t see this but on the off chance that you do, I can honestly say that I couldn’t be more inspired by you or more into you than ever. I feel like I can take you away from the problems that you have been experiencing forever. I’m no angel, and I too have been addicted to drugs, including shooting up heroin and fentanyl. I no longer do that, and can honestly say that I know what it takes to get off the needle, and find joy in life again. I wish I could meet you, Taylor. If you ever do read this, please hit me up and let’s have a conversation via text or email and let me get to know you so that I can bring the happiness you so rightfully deserve, to you and in turn, increase my own. Nothing would make me happier than to get the chance to tell you what a special person you truly are.

    You tubers: If u are reading this and feel what I am saying here, please help me out! Help me get my message out to her. Play Cupid if u will! I want to meet and date this girl and save her from her negative issues she is facing. I want the best for her and if u do too, please, bump this message up and help me out here! Lol thanks YouTube, let’s see what we can do for this girl!!!

    T.... N....

    Taylor Nicole Dean I’m from San Antonio tx and I can relate to ur addiction I started using the needle 2 year till I got tired of harming myself overly came out hospital 2 days ago from seiusurefrom a speed ball and I was dead for 5 hours after they found me

    T.... N....

    I want get to know u wen u in San antonio

    T.... N....

    I have been sober since December 11th 2016 that's over 3 years. From herion. I pass no judgment and give you mad props for explaining honestly what you went through and showing your photos. If you ever need anyone. A real friend. I'm here. Unfortunately all my "friends" are still addicts. And I'm lonely. But it's all good. I'm still sober and trying to be the best wife and mother I can. Good luck!

    T.... N....

    Hey we should chill. I'll give you couple bags of dope. Come on you know you want too