Devin Townsend - The Mighty Masturbator Lyrics






Oh all you know, go slow
Twenty-five years at the factory child
All for dying
Wife and children now
But you know? I've been working on a plan to save us all
You know me and I'm just staying late tonight my dear
Sleep well

I'm home!

So you've come!
You know, you know
I'm all right to fly!
Only we both know, we never once were right!
Oh my lord
Say goodnight to the boy, and then we explode with never one regret!

Oh my god, it's happening once again!
Wasting my life with the worn designs
But it's time to go!
We're wasting away as people now
And the worlds seen it all before
Sew the wire!

Now, comes the time
Where the night speaks to me, the words speak through me, now!
Comes the time! hear the sounds, the sounds!
(Sounds are forming round me sounds are forming round!)
Do you know? how many more days and nights of this I must handle?
Keep control control!
No one can see, they mustn't see!
But they will come to recognize my name!
'Cause I've finally I've finally found a way to save the world!

(Oh I real good at dat savin' da world thing dere oh yeah, I got my special savin' the world boots on)

Save the world, you fool, you child!
You can't ever save the world, you fool you child!
You can't ever, ever celebrate!
You better change your mind!

Save the world, you fool you child!
You can't ever ever save the world, you fool you child
You can't ever, ever set aflame!
You better change!

(Save the spectacular world of tomorrow!)

Save the world, you fool you child!
You can't ever ever save the world, you fool, you child
You can't ever, ever celebrate!
You better change!

Feelings they're exaggerated!
But on another level I'm just
Groovy!

Oh yeah smooth
Looking fine!

You better save your mind!

Maybe we could go to space?
Maybe we'll have more luck connecting
Maybe the electromagnetic impulses will be on our side?

Yes!
Love has conducted us unto one death!
And my conductor, with his spans extended, took of the earth
And with his fists well filled, he threw it into those rapacious gullets!
The time of reckoning is beyond us!
The time is now!
We come to you: to extend ourselves for consideration into the intergalactic community!
We bring to you: the process of human development!

Brothers and sisters are you with me?!?!

Now!

Give it up your world!
Give it up your world!
Give it up your world!
Give it up your world!

I've seen all I have seen
We have always been there!
I've seen all I have seen
We have always been there!

We praise god!
He lives inside of our hearts!
We pray to god, he lives inside of our minds!
We praise god!
He lives inside of our hearts!
We pray to god!

So you come around, and we know what you came for
And we are one of mind, and we are home

We praise ourselves!
We live inside of our minds!
We praise ourselves!
We live inside of our minds!

I've seen all I have seen
We have always been there!
I've seen all I have seen!

Now we come alive! and you've been over-time
If we are one of mind, then we are god!

We praise Satan!
He lives inside of our hearts!
We praise Satan!
He lives inside of our hearts!

We praise ourselves!
All the minds! of all the times!

(What do you want with me?)

I want you to follow me, into the stars!
I want you to love me!

(I've fallen down now, and I won't get up)
(I've fallen down now, and I won't get up)

So many things to learn my family!

I'm turning back! I don't want to! I'm turning away from the world!
I'm turning back! I don't want to! I'm turning away from the light!

Yeah!

These are only equations, this is only a problem!

Stay forward!
Stay the morning coma

What do you know?

I know why among the heavens, I don't know why among the living
I haven't a mind for those who give in
I don't know why? (feelings I'm holding inside?) why?

Childhood pain!

I want you to follow me, into the stars
Why don't we just leave?
To infinity, and surround!

And now hunger does what sorrow could never do

Feed

Ladies! Ladies and gentlemen!

(Carnival ensues)

See the four-faced boy
See the man with 17 testicles
See the child stand back and look into the infinite void
You young man come forward
See the vagina-faced lady
Two for one
Indeed I am your host, Ziltoid the omniscient
Ladies and gentlemen

My goal in this world is only to vacate the human mind
And twice now towards the sky, the men on the trampoline, the flying mangee brothers, yes, flatulence, ladies and gentlemen free of charge
Remember your admission ticket to get one

Egads! astounding! my worlds!
Ladies and gentlemen, I now see my life's purpose

I am the mighty masturbator!

Amen





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Devin Townsend The Mighty Masturbator Comments
  1. A.... ....

    Sooo... Devin predicted Trump. I guess that makes him as good as The Simpsons.

  2. r.... ....

    I was brought here by the skeksis and they were right. This is a masterpiece. Now to find that little gelfling...

  3. F.... C....

    Una delle cose più memorabili che abbia mai sentito

  4. T.... J....

    My favorite dt song by a long shot. The only thing that at all detracts from the perfection to me is the comedy thrown in. It’s an over indulgent song that was taken maybe a little too far with the comedy. Maybe that was the point of the whole thing but that doesn’t matter too me personally. It’s one of my favorite prog metal songs the complexity as well as the great sense of story (bizarre as it is)and melody really works in a beautiful way. The comedy seems inserted because Devin maybe thought the songs bizarre story and overall indulgent nature could be brought to the extreme. I disagree. Song is absolutely wonderful still.

  5. H.... F....

    All I have to say is... Sorry for the moose, eh?

  6. B.... ....

    This album is possibility the most bizarre metal record ever

  7. B.... ....

    Is that Agnete Kjølsrud?

  8. K.... ....

    Why the quality of the video got bad? it used to be very good.

  9. J.... E....

    This album is a masterpiece. All bands involved are awesome.

  10. D.... ....

    As awesome as Devin continues to be... you can see it in his face... he's holding back the Strapping Young Lad. ;)

  11. D.... ....

    Who's got their "saving the world" boots on??? Who's with me?? :D

  12. S.... B....

    Masterpiece. Unfortunately the last worthy DTP album.

    S.... B....

    Bruno De Sousa dude if you don't like transcendence then I feel sorry for you.

    S.... B....

    @Brendan McDonald It's more that the first four DTP were preconceived as four albums released in pairs. they were so successful (relatively) that more were required - I think this is the essence of DT's comments on 'codependency' and the death of DTP via the birth of the Empath record.

  13. G.... D....

    4:35 they went full Dream Theater here. I love it

    G.... D....

    Indeed... but listen "Presto Vivace and reprise" from U.K. 👍

    G.... D....

    Devin never goes full dream theater. Dream theater goes full devin townsend.

  14. k.... ....

    This is perfect music for halloween

  15. A.... ....

    Still far and above his best album. What a masterpiece of unrivaled genius.

    A.... ....

    Until EMPATH LOL

    A.... ....

    Honestly. Except for the self titled imo. The rest is gold. I've never heard an into as good as Praise the Lowered. I love the fuck out of that song. Cant believe it doesnt get more praise.

  16. M.... d....

    I wonder if Anneke was among the backing vocalists?

  17. S.... ....

    I love this song. For the simple fact that it's a long drawn out play, showing how people think so highly of themselves. In the end, the purpose is finally found out: just to masturbate. What I take from this song, is that in the end of it all, we're all just fucking animals with no true purpose in life, other than to procreate (or in this case, induce the sensation of procreation).

  18. C.... I....

    Who's drumming and bassing?

    C.... I....

    Chris Iorio Mike Young on bass (Dave, the guitarists brother), and Dirk Verbeuren on drums.

  19. B.... B....

    Weeeeeeeineeeerrrr!

  20. P.... ....

    If anyone says they love metal but hate Devin Townsend isn't a true metalhead...simple as that

    P.... ....

    I love Devin more than anything else... But please stop with your elitism. We have too much of it in the metal community.

  21. A.... U....

    3.144444444444wa 4wa 4wa faw faw ahh AAAHHHHHhhhh!

  22. C.... ....

    Yeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrr

  23. J.... C....

    I'm going to keep buying DTP tickets until this motherfucker plays The Mighty Masturbator. I WILL HEAR THIS LIVE.

    J.... C....

    Jordan Carnaggio they only way I think it will be played again is if there's another by request set like at royal Albert hall ^ _ ^ so it's possible since most of us really want this song

  24. E.... ....

    Honestly one of the most impressive performances I've ever seen.
    This and Deconstruction.
    Just imagining playing these live without flaw, much less the ENTIRE album is astonishing.

    E.... ....

    he says in the retinal commentary he fixes these in editing later because axe fx makes his guitar sound exactly the same lmao

  25. B.... W....

    Greatest live ending to a song ever!

  26. J.... A....

    One of my favourite songs of all time, full stop!

  27. R.... F....

    Why isn't Beav playing this show?

    R.... F....

    Dave Young's brother on the bass ?

    R.... F....

    Yep, it's Mike Young on bass. I could be wrong on this, but I guess it has something to do with the obvious difficulty of this material. If I recall correctly, they didn't have too much time to rehearse any of these 4 shows and maybe Beav just met his limits as a player and Devin brought in an old pal who's capable of internalizing and learning difficult material on a really short notice.

    R.... F....

    Russell Fraley I think it's simply that these performances were actually barely put together in time. He didn't want to use the same musicians always, and there are probably a ton of reasons. I mean, the only consistent member in all 4 concerts was Dave and that's because he's Dev's right hand man.

  28. C.... H....

    The start sounds straight out of Harry potter

  29. T.... o....

    Devin = Voldemort rockstar

    T.... o....

    So fucking true

    T.... o....

    Vocaldemort!

  30. M.... F....

    I just noticed that the section at 2:00 is a reprise of Numbered (or the other way round?)

    M.... F....

    Numbered:
    So we search for home
    Only God knows God, oh
    I'm alright to fly!
    Only we both know we never once were right… oh
    We tried.
    Say it!

    Mighty:
    So you've come!
    You know, you know…
    I'm alright to fly!
    …Only we both know, we never once were right!
    Oh my lord…
    Say goodnight to the boy, and then we EXPLODE with never one regret!


    Noticed that too!

    M.... F....

    Mirko Fustinoni he wrote the first four DTP albums at around the same time so it is a purposeful reference. From what I can tell he put little hints to Deconstruction in Ki and Addicted and put echoes of it into Ghost. Listen to the commentaries to get the full gist.

  31. I.... S....

    This generation's Rite of Spring

  32. D.... f....

    Indeed, Devin is both groovy and on another level. \m/

  33. c.... b....

    Devin is the fucking Mozart of 20th and 21th century!

    c.... b....

    While I might not go that far, yes he very much is somebody we should treasure in this era.

    c.... b....

    I would say something more along the lines of "a modern day Zappa"

  34. M.... L....

    "Canada shall unite, with Britain". That line's just fantastic XD

  35. k.... ....

    8 minutes in and i'm taken back to Heavy as a Really Heavy Thing!

  36. F.... ....

    A live of Mighty Masturbator ? He's crazy. XD

    F.... ....

    +Fatalordi Yes lol ^^

    F.... ....

    And it's fucking brilliant. On par or possibly even better than the studio version somehow. Not many artists can pull that off.

  37. J.... M....

    fucking brilliant! love this guy! is anyone else reminded of frank zappa when listening to dtp or is it just me?

    J.... M....

    +John Macdonald of course, i think pretty much every new Experimental Rock artist is heavily influenced by Zappa, Townsend must be :)

  38. M.... ....

    What is the style he plays at 1:27?

  39. p.... ....

    this was the most bizarre, confusing and, absurd; yet mesmerizing and interesting "thing" ive ever experienced. i have to quit the internet now because i dont know what to listen to from here

    p.... ....

    @pAWNproductionsDE luckily for us - Devin has created enough music for us to listen in awe every day. He has half a dozen of projects and brings out like 3 albums a year.

    p.... ....

    I know the feeling. I've looked for many years, but there's nothing out there even remotely similar to this. But man, I treasure this album more than most things in my life. Musical perfection to me, it's exactly what I want to hear, and the music I want to create, but just can't make into reality. And the funny thing is, I can't even share it with most of the people I know, because either the lyrics or the song titles from the album would make them think I'm gone off my rocker. This is as good as it gets.

  40. F.... a....

    Hail to the Commander and Chief, of kickin', serious ass, Devin Townsend. Excellent song, riotous show. Best singer on the planet, both mellow, and metal master. Got every note he's ever recorded.

  41. K.... ....

    Is it just Ziltoid doing this to me, or is the video getting out of sync half-way through?

    K.... ....

    Yep, it gets out of sync towards the end. Please try to live with it. : D

    K.... ....

    @DoneJone Or you can fix the video you posted of someone else's work

    K.... ....

    @TillyMusicGuy I have no idea how to do it or is it even possible. : )

    K.... ....

    @DoneJone My best guess would be from a 25 to 30 fps conversion (PAL & NTSC mess). Been mindfucked about these while trying to sync subtitles - if that helps. Got my own signed DVD Collection by the man, but a quick youtube fix is always fine =)

  42. T.... Y....

    what the fuck did I just watch

  43. E.... ....

    who gets to see this madman live in montreal for the 3rd time next week? thats right!!! I DO!!!!!!  Devin my finest coffee is prepared, and very definitely not fetid. ALL HAIL THE POOZERS!!!!!

    E.... ....

    Im so going to be there

    E.... ....

    I got to meet and hang out with him the other week, in Philly. He's a really chill dude.

  44. B.... B....

    Haha gregs a puppet

  45. D.... 3....

    Man they almost sound just like the record here, wonder how much of that is pre-recorded tape that they're playing with? like the sounds, keys, backing vocals? and if any of it is overdubbed?? 

    D.... 3....

    a fair bit, but shockingly less than you might think. met him after show last time he was in montreal and asked that very question, his answer was "As little as possible while still having it sound right". With that said he does use alot of click tracks that can (just barely) be heard thru his stage monitors when you are up very close, this is used to cue various recordings and visuals and sync the whole affair. the amount of rehersal and professionalism that goes into one of his shows is mind blowing.  It took over a year to prepare for the Retinal Circus show in london.....which was a one night only show....that gives you an idea the amount of work that goes into a DTP show. 

    D.... 3....

    Deconstruction 33 a lot of the synths and weird sounds are triggered from Dave's laptop. They play to a click for this and along with the click is just audio of the tracks that they can't perform live. It's not as a sort of crutch it's more for the fact that the logistics of delivering a truthful performance would be otherwise prohibitively difficult.

  46. s.... ....

    I want an all-deconstruction gig. in my bedroom. NOW. YOU HAVE FIVE EARTH MINUTES.

  47. J.... ....

    12:43 riff of the week

  48. N.... B....

    Holy shit Ziltoid's nomination speech is amazing.

  49. r.... ....

    genius²

  50. G.... ....

    Quite possibly as mad of a musical genius/artist as was Mr Zappa. Pure brilliance. 

  51. W.... V....

    Is that Armando bringing the hats? :D

  52. M.... ....

    Almost two years after first seeing this video, I'm still amazed by it. The song is so ridiculous and yet they pulled it off wonderfully.

  53. F.... ....

    ... and now we go to space B|

  54. A.... R....

    Devy's Facebook page shared this! :)

  55. C.... ....

    13:53 O_O   ZILTOID FOR PRESIDENT!!!!! 

  56. C.... ....

    This is balls to walls amazing. Your favorite pop band can't even cover my devin's music.

  57. I.... ....

    10.16 good morning princess devin xd!!!!!!!

  58. P.... M....

    I have to watch him live. I am hooked

    P.... M....

    From what I've seen in videos, me too. His shows are exciting and he sounds really, really good.

    P.... M....

    I've seen Maiden, Queensryche, Metallica, Kiss, Dream Theater, and tons more ... Devin was the most fun I've ever had at a concert - blew me away!

  59. P.... M....


    He has out dream theatre, dream theatre there. Wow

  60. L.... .....

    was the puppet on screen during the live show?!?! holy shit, that's awesome....

  61. S.... B....

    Only devin can turn a metal concert into a dance club and STILL be metal as f

    S.... B....

    rammstein tho

    S.... B....

    Rammstein/Static-X vibes

    S.... B....

    Turmion Katilot

    S.... B....

    Both Devin and Rammstein are pop music, not metal! Slayer is metal!

  62. K.... t....

    What does he say after "my dear, sleep well"?

    K.... t....

    ''I'm home.''

    K.... t....

    I read that as it came up

    ILLOOIMARTY CONFERMD

  63. H.... ....

    Ziltoid sounds like Steve from Yellowstone. Look it up, you'll be greatful.

  64. d.... ....

    i love devy and have listened to him for years....but there is NO way that the sound on this clip is a straight mix from the same concert.....it is SO full of overdubs and corrections...the 2nd guitarist is out of sync and before you say...."oh that may be because the audio/visual sync.delay?" nope...he clearly plays other notes and or slight variations of the song......devy does this for his "live recordings"..dvds and live cd's..all the way back to SYL live in melbourne...check the album inner notes....either way devy rules, however i prefer actual live to ":polished/fixed/produced live" .

    d.... ....

    So what?

    d.... ....

    @Joshua Richards  nothing really just airing my view on the matter.

    d.... ....

    The audio IS out of sync, dumbass. Use basic inference skills to figure that out. Idiot.

  65. S.... O....

    I've just discovered this man, and holy fucking shitballs I have never seen anything like this. To be able to perform this live is a feat rivalling the goddamn moon landing.

    S.... O....

    +Simon Björkén This performance, I'm pretty sure, is proof of perfection in humanity.

    S.... O....

    He's on Zappa levels of skill

  66. D.... V....

    Ziltoid for president!! 

  67. D.... ....

    The puppet is wearing a Dillinger Escape Plan shirt

    D.... ....

    Probably because it's singing Greg Puciato's guest vocals on that song. :>

    D.... ....

    @n30l1nk I think the puppet's miming, man.

    D.... ....

    @Eoin Palmer Yeah, if you wanna get all literal, there's a dude miming out the guest vocals with his hand which is inside a puppet lmao

  68. j.... ....

    So epic... He makes up for Bieber....

    j.... ....

    That is fuckin funny sir!

    j.... ....

    What about Akerfeldt and Wilson?

    j.... ....

    @Ryan Sadauskis they Canadian?

    j.... ....

    Very much so.

  69. U.... ....

    Thumbs up if you like the dancing chicks behind Devin

  70. B.... S....

    I'd call it the band of Fester Addams

  71. T.... F....

    THE MIGHTY MASTURBATORRRRRRRR!

  72. E.... A....

    heres the law, you either love devin or your just wrong! >.<

  73. E.... R....

    I always cry with the epic end of the video :')

  74. F.... ....

    me too :)

  75. N.... T....

    4:33

    hehehe

  76. L.... N....

    one place imho it could go is to do a song with the unlikeliest collaborator you can think of,( but somebody with some musical ability at least) maybe yet more interesting tension and bizzareness

  77. J.... R....

    Devin Townsend has been announced for Wacken Open Air 2014. I'll be there.

  78. C.... Y....

    legen.... wait for it...

  79. M.... ....

    Hard to believe it's been a year and three months since this song entered my life. It's great to see this video get so many views in that time.

  80. j.... ....

    that, or devin teams up with fredrik thordendal to redefine rock/metal as we know it.

  81. P.... ....

    I thought it was over the top... then they topped it.

  82. C.... W....

    I think my favorite thing about this song is that as much of a masterpiece as it is, Devin wrote it specifically to make fun of songs like this.

  83. M.... ....

    Next stop: The Second Coming! Jesus will come back, spread his message and play this song live in Staples Center.

  84. d.... ....

    who are you?

  85. S.... B....

    I think Joe Satriani and Devin should do a song together, that is the only way music can go after this.

  86. I.... ....

    i'm not a big fan of devin myself but this song just blows me away. this is his best piece i've heard so far.

  87. E.... T....

    i'll see your three and have two surgically implanted to then later be removed, to have been there.

  88. s.... ....

    this is incredible ... except for the audio/video sync issues

  89. M.... M....

    I'd give both testicles and I.O.U a third to have been there

  90. s.... ....

    I think your hands aren't synchronized with your keyboard.

  91. R.... V....

    back to the future band

  92. W.... ....

    4:40 The Dance of Eternity :p

  93. H.... P....

    Hte Film and Audio are not ynchnron rounf min 10

  94. P.... ....

    Of course, you're right.

  95. �.... ....

    It's not playback, it's backing tracks. Playback would drown everything out, the backing tracks just play what they can't play (which is quite logical as a DT's production is like dozens and dozens of tracks)
    Actually, I prefer this live rendition to the album version.

  96. s.... ....

    Hence where he says "Like the shitty scene from the Matrix!"

  97. J.... L....

    SUPER CHINGON!!!!!! NO CABE DUDA DEVIN YOU ARE UNIQUE,AND THE BAND IS SUPER ,JUAN LOPEZ AT LAGARDAS BODY SHOP AND PAINT IN GLENDALE ARIZONA

  98. s.... ....

    just the title alone makes me feel compelled to say: "I see so much of myself in this song".