Dan Bull - A Portrait Of The Autist Lyrics






I'm awkward, can't talk to anyone
I fall at the first hurdle, it hurts to get it wrong
My mind's wired a different way to everyone else
So I might seem strange, and be left on the shelf begging for help
Placed in a position in which I'm desperate now
Ashamed of my condition when I'm meant be be proud
It'd be great to fit in and blend with the crowd
Without a red face, a sense of dread; I'm trembling now
I like things a certain way, a pre-determined order
And it disturbs my thoughts if the certain order's changed
Uncertainty unnerves me, close the curtains over the windows
It's a curse, Asperger Syndrome

[Hook:]
We ought to stick around
Be autistic and proud
We ought to stick around
We ought to stick

I don't notice faces in open places
My focus phases out and goes to blazes
And an overloaded brain is no way to be social and say hello to mates, is it?
It's made me feel alone for ages
Because I know there's no hope to change it
To most a face is an open page -to me it's closed, the prose erased
And how am I supposed to behave
When nobody's taken a moment to show me the way? But it's OK
I still hope and pray the status quo can change
And I still scope the skies waiting for blokes in capes
And I'll fly when I know how I'm supposed to behave
So won't you take a moment to show me the way

[Hook]

Autism assisted me in becoming a poet
Because I feel deeply but I just struggle to show it
I care for those around me though I don't know how I'm supposed to tell people
So I wrote it down, prepared my vocal sound
Then shared my opus on open ground
Those with this syndrome are endowed with a determination to succeed
That the non-Asperger brain often fails to achieve
And yet we go off the rails easily, but believe me
I've seen what we can be when we've got dreams to reach that no-one else can
And piece by piece the diagnosed'll find the folks to help them
To aspire to the heights their sights are focused on
I know it's a long fight but we're the type to go the whole hog

[Hook]





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Dan Bull A Portrait Of The Autist Comments
  1. H.... 9....

    😥😥😭😭😭😭😭😭I feel you dan

  2. T.... L....

    Iv got mental health problems too its fuckin hard but only person who can help u is yourself not no 💊

  3. t.... b....

    Oh man. This song takes me back..I hope this song somehow comes back and gets the recognition it deserves

  4. M.... J....

    My boy Dan! So many years after, and this is still my favorite rap of all time :) I don't really care much for celebs or other famous folks, but you are a true idol to me, from the first video I saw. It is a song that brings hope, be proud man! Be proud!

  5. D.... G....

    Dan my name is not donat it's Ezekiel I always thought that autism was a punishment but hearing this song has made me realize that I have to accept that its a part of me thank you for opening my eyes

  6. S.... ....

    I hate autists 😎

  7. A.... H....

    Dan, you head is fucking amazing!

  8. T.... ....

    This is beautifup

  9. D.... D....

    We need more songs like this, this comes from the heart and not just a feeble attempt to impress kids with swear words and half naked women, keep it up!

  10. b.... ....

    I’m 21 and only learned I had autism recently. I always thought I was just a stupid kid. Weak. Antisocial and all that. I try every day now to overcome it but it’s rough since I see what others my age are accomplishing and I can’t do that.

  11. J.... ....

    I won't deny that you've shown some opinions that I do majorly disagree with, but, even if I were the sort of person to hate someone for their beliefs, I still wouldn't stop supporting you and listening to your music. You're a good guy, Dan, and we aspies have to stick together, right?

  12. J.... ....

    i just got diagnosed with Aspergers today, at 25 years old, i remember listening to this when you released i and it spoke to me a bit, so i guess i know why now.
    i also got diagnosed with Dysthymia.. which also explains alot..

  13. x.... ....

    I know its tough yo. But your determination is an inspiration to us all. Keep on the good fight brother. Your my hero ✌

  14. M.... T....

    Ive got autism myself this is sooo relateable ... respect dude ✌

  15. s.... 1....

    I have autism and asperger's. This portrays my thoughts that I could ever say myself perfectly. Great song, thank you

  16. D.... f....

    Seeing this now and think about my aspergers syndrome i cant make it to the end with crying because it touchs me in a way only music can because i write my own music part of the time to express my feelings so thank you so much for this

  17. L.... S....

    I really like this song

  18. C.... L....

    This song really spoke to me. I have Asperger's too, and I've never really heard a song that really resonated with me like this.

  19. N.... T....

    Geez the "ashamed of my condition when I'm meant to be proud" hit me hard,
    this song always make me cry, in a good way.
    Thank you Dan Bull <3

  20. I.... D....

    Dan thanks for making your songs like this I have Aspergers and this song helps me a lot

  21. Z.... J....

    Wait, is Dan Bull autistic or did he write a song from the point of view of an autistic?

  22. s.... P....

    *googles symptoms of Aspergers* "Oh."

  23. M.... M....

    God bless you, Dan Bull. You're the reason I believe everyone with mental disabilities are talented no matter what condition.

  24. l.... ....

    Crys when first heard it. Still do

    l.... ....

    Still do

  25. D.... T....

    For me, Autism brings one negative in a sea of positives. With Asperger's syndrome, I am destined to be more introverted, because if I can't talk to people, I might as well not talk much at all.

  26. Y.... ....

    Man. I found you through your video game raps, but these other raps are pure gold.

  27. A.... E....

    I know how it feels, sometimes you just want to be alone and yet your still so lonely

  28. j.... s....

    worcester reppin

  29. G.... S....

    This song makes my cry every time because it's exactly what I wanna say to people who don't understand why I behave a certain way. Being autistic is hard but I don't let it bother me. Yeah, I'm autistic but I'm also me

  30. A.... R....

    wait. i know this video is a long time ago but... Dan has Autism???

  31. O.... S....

    I know this is an older song but i just found it. And I wanna say thank you, Dan. I also have aspergers, and like you say in the song, it's difficult to live with. It can be hard to even realize there are others who have it as well. So thank you for this. Knowing I'm not alone makes me feel better.

  32. Z.... ....

    I have autism aswell. Took 12 years to get diagnosed and im 14

  33. 1.... ....

    2:02 "Show me the way"

  34. P.... C....

    Aye i have autism aswell, and honestly, now i have a pretty easy life, previously i got bullied alot, and im still socially awkward, but im doing quite finely right now.

  35. M.... S....

    Is it possible to do a rap on epilepsy

  36. j.... ....

    I love you Dan! 💙

  37. s.... ....

    Dan I know how you feel I have autism to and I have struggling with it but thank you dan

  38. R.... F....

    I Love the Song, it feels like my Feelings sing out loud.
    Wish ya well, gretings from Germany :)

  39. L.... ....

    Hey Dan if I ever see you could I give you a hug or handshake what would be appropriate

  40. c.... ....

    So many of Dan's subscribers haven't even watched this..

  41. P.... T....

    Oh Dan....
    I don't have autism, but I do have bipolar disorder and some other mental issues that make my view of the world different than everyone else's does. That's why some of your lyrics hit me so hard, and that's why I've been with you since I discovered the epic skyrim rap years ago. You are really the best, don't let anyone, not even your own mind, tell you different. We love you, and don't forget it. <3

  42. B.... F....

    Dan, you are literally the best. Keep up your amazing work.

  43. T.... M....

    Autism actually boosts creativity as we can see here

  44. B.... A....

    I'm autistic and this is pretty much my new samesong now

  45. t.... n....

    Hit me somewhere close, I have autism and this is amazing

  46. M.... ....

    you whites with your first world diseases,autism,fucking hell,down here it's known as the kid who dose not talk much.😂

  47. S.... ....

    So good ..

  48. l.... n....

    man dan bull should make more music like this, the dubstep rap about video game aint bad, but i miss his older songs

  49. s.... ....

    yay I'm crying

  50. S.... ....

    I don't know what to say... This song is amazing. Being autistic myself, well, I still don't know what to say.

  51. R.... &....

    I got mad respect for this guy. He is the first one that dares to open his story and share his weaknesses.
    The first one that speaks about the things he is ashamed of.....
    Autism is making people feel unconfident and think negatively about themselves. Which is logic due to the problems we have.
    I have PDD-NOS and I struggle too.
    I wish the other people with autism, that are also here, a lot of good luck and success in their life.
    I hope for you, that you will have friends tommorow that love you.
    I hope for you, that you will have the best job in the future
    I hope for you, that you will find your dream girl/guy to love in the future.
    I hope for you, that you will live a life is stress-free and free from fear.
    I wish you all the best, because you deserve it also.
    I know we can't heal autism, But at least I could make you smile today? :)

    R.... &....

    it shouldnt be 'healed' i understand your sentiment but autism isnt like an illness its the way some of our brains are wired

  52. C.... ....

    feeding ducks :D

  53. L.... B....

    Soon, I'll get my formal diagnosis papers back, and then'll I'll get help. I just hope nothing goes wrong between then and now.

  54. I.... H....

    I am fine with anyone, as long as they arent a murder or rapist or something like that, but i dont care whether someones autistic, transgender, bisexual, gay, lessbian, like something not meant for that person. Like as long as your not a bad bad guy like murder or something like that, they are acepted in my book :)

  55. S.... ....

    I find it sad that all of these meaningful songs/raps that Dan posts get hardly any views compared to the rest of his content. It probably makes him feel dependent on all of the gaming raps, but I love things like this. And yes, I am a bit late...

  56. R.... ....

    Man I don't know if you read your comments or what.I just want you to know that I appreciate your talent and story. I could use some advice from someone like you , It is hard for me to deal with my social life and I am happy to see someone so successful that are in the same shoes as me. I don't really wanna put too much more on public comments . You are not alone brother

  57. B.... W....

    *autistic screeching*

    B.... W....

    Wow, that joke was SO ORIGINAL! Almost as original as your anime profile picture.

  58. J.... R....

    I have a condition called music also, please will you listen to my autism?

  59. C.... T....

    Hi Dan! Found you though your friend Dave (boyinaband).
    Watched a few of your videos now. Just came to this one. I have to say a huge thank you, for being so open about your Aspergers, and writing so eloquently about it. I am also an Aspie (not officially diagnosed - mum did not want me diagnosed and sent to the 'special school') and have had to teach myself coping strategies with no outside help (beyond the family of an old boyfriend (and still close friend), who knew a lot more about it than I did, as their son (the boyfriend in question) has it).
    Loving your work - both solo and your great collaborations with Dave. Keep up the good work, and pass on my best wishes to Dave - I am now one in far more than a million on his subs list - a crumb in the 'homeloaf' - so I doubt he'll ever have the lime to read my messages to him on Facebook.

  60. k.... ....

    I have aspergers and i usually struggle to show emotions, but during this video i actually struggled to NOT show emotions.. *_sniff_*

  61. A.... ....

    For someone with asperger's, I've never related to a rapper more than now.

  62. B.... ....

    This song made me cry happy tears

  63. G.... 1....

    Love your music man keep it up you got this bro

  64. K.... S....

    I'm underdiagnosed with Aspergers, but it comes quite handy especially if you're a quirky and eccentric goofball :p However, I do feel like Pluto in this solar system of life, but fuck it, I'm chillin like a villian.

  65. J.... P....

    No cure is required, we aspies have something special.

    J.... P....

    warriorsfan10000 the depression also comes because society alienates us. People say we are born sick and need to be cured. People use the words Autist and Autistic as swear words. I've seen some casesof people who are "Pro-life", or whatever they call themselves, suddenly support the option to abort an un-born child only because he/she have a chance to be born on the spectrum... Life feels like an everyday struggle against society, stereotypes, stigmas... No wonder that most of us are depressed.

    J.... P....

    warriorsfan10000 and yes, calling it a disorder is fine, at least by me.

    J.... P....

    @Maor Medina I know plenty of cheerful aspies, but that might be down to the culture of acceptance in the UK.

    J.... P....

    Virtuoso Joel Here in Israel things are not that well... The general public still has a lot to learn, and so does our shitty excuse of a government. (I'm not willing to enter the "Palestine-Israel conflict here, so I'll be happy if we'll avoid that, although our government is also crap in that subject).

    J.... P....

    Well Maor I certainly see where you're coming from. You're the only one so far that's willing to have an intelligent discussion about this. I understand that there are some people who are negative towards people with autism, but that is not representative of the majority of society. Besides, some of the people making the jokes are making just that: jokes. They don't mean what they say. However, I can understand that you might not like that.

  66. K.... P....

    When you got on the swing, I couldn't hold back the tears any longer

  67. s.... v....

    As a 25 year old Autistic, i feel that sometime simple things for everyone else, like keeping a job, maintaining freindships, even spending time with my family is hard to impossible. i post this here trying to see how many people are going through or had been in this situation too. If you are or have been in this situation, post a comment, tell the world how you got through, or are getting through this. it would be a huge help.

    s.... v....

    I'm a lot younger and so far I haven't been to psychologist to check if its 'everything ok' with me. However I feel like that, but I'm not sure. I always want to be alone and don't talk or be with anyone, even my family or 'friends'. But i'm not sure why, is it by illnes or any occurrence from past that changed my brain or that I feel that 'everyone is stupid and insincere'. From wiki and what I read from another comments under Dan's autistic songs, a bunch of symptoms occure to me. But I am very conscious and i think clever and i don't feel 'ill'. Everything I wrote there could be not how it realy is but as always I can't really say what I mean. Also, I'm not happy I wrote to internet what i haven't spoken to anybody, but meybe there.. or something.

  68. M.... C....

    we just have to bear the hardship given to us by people who don't know our mental disabilities and show them how we an overcome our challenges in life

  69. M.... L....

    I have moderate autism and this is amazing, love you dan you're a true artist

    M.... L....

    Michael Lindley Your a communist

  70. R.... ....

    I can relate because I have aspergers syndrom and I just wrote my first book, The Trials of SnowFall, on Amazon but unfortunately not many people have bought it or reviewed it so I'm a little discouraged but I know if I keep at it and keep writing that eventually I will succeed and other will read my books and love them, but thats the thing with selfpublishing you have to advertise it yourself which my autism can make hard because its just so hard to present it to other people and the fear that my disabilities makes me you know not good I guess...I love this stuff you do Dan especially these songs about autism cause they help to boost my confidence I'm going to keep on writing books until I archive thank you Dan :)

  71. S.... ....

    I'm very autistic and this song has really help me to failed good about my self you a Great guy you are amazing thanks for helping me keeps the good work dan thanks

    S.... ....

    And looks like that very autism dosent help much with your ability to type english

    S.... ....

    NORWAY STRONK

    You're not doing any better

    S.... ....

    Well i do have the excuse of not being that very good in english because im norwegian.

    S.... ....

    That's irrelevant. You're still a massive hypocrite. Don't go out of your way to point out that somebody is incapable of spelling when you yourself are no better.

  72. g.... ....

    I know this ain't relevant and i feel awkward saying this but I've literally been to that park so many times

  73. R.... ....

    I feel like I'm the only autist who doesn't care about my diagnose.

    R.... ....

    I couldn't care less about being autistic, I don't let it define me and most people had no idea I had it untill I told them

    R.... ....

    @Extreme Cynic
    Same

    R.... ....

    Extreme Cynic I agree with you I was treated differently because of my disabilitys (autism dyslexia and Dispraxsiya) until people saw I was no different from them my brain doesn't function the same way but I'm still human

    R.... ....

    RexusprimeIX I couldn't care less that I'm desabeled I'm still a human and I hate people who treat desabeled people (like me or Dan bull I'm not sure if he is treated like this) like children I am one of the best people in history in my year/grade I'm beating the people who are considered smart and I'm still being treated like I'm not smart I found that people who are desabeled try harder and are less likely to give up then 'normal' people

  74. B.... M....

    Who disliked this?

    B.... M....

    Bob Banban people who still use autism jokes.

    B.... M....

    Bob Banban People who advocate for a cure to autism like me.

    B.... M....

    Seeing Clearly Media No your the problem, the ally we don't need. The people who think we can't think for yourself because we have a syndrome. Who don't know anything else and refuse to know anything else. Please go away.

  75. A.... t....

    "We ought to stick around, be autistic and proud" is the lyric of the century

    A.... t....

    @TavinAlpha Gaming thank you! Finally someone spoke up for autistic kids besides me. Also my comments were from a long time ago and I just noticed this comment from my Notifications but, it's good to have someone who agrees with me.

    A.... t....

    @TavinAlpha Gaming I happen to have Autism, OCD, ADHD, Body Dysmorphic disorder, depression and anxiety and it's really difficult for me to go through life, but I'm trying to make the best of it by doing good things to help people, to make myself and others happy.

    A.... t....

    Wouldnt argue with this crowd if i was you btw, dont you know that the average person with asberges have 29IQ more than the average non-autistic person. But go ahead, spout some more bullshit. I have a psychology book right beside me, ill teach you a thing or two. Gladly would, in more ways than one honestly. I have never seen nor heard someone talk about autism or asberges in this manner and thus you have been sealed into my memory. If you could, please send me a picture of your face. Ill duct tape it onto my heavy bag and work some muay thai, krav maga, kickboxing and boxing routines on it any day of the week. After rereading what you commented, im afraid ill bust the bag open, break my legs and hands, or snap the 55lb trailer chain that holds the bag in place.

    A.... t....

    Asberges, depression, OCD, anxiety, PTSD and multiple other things i can mention. Weightlifting helped me a lot (nearly killed me when i overdid it) with self esteem and self control, as well as learning martial arts. Everyone has their own escapes. I wish you all the luck in the world with your disorders. We struggle together, brother

    A.... t....

    Anytime day or night. This punk has shittons of uploads and only 81 subs. Ive surpassed that and im a gaming channel.. living proof that toxic and ignorant people wont get far doing anything in life. I can live with myself, but i wonder if he can do the same

  76. Z.... ....

    I was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome a few years ago. This song definitely helps me get through it. :)

    Z.... ....

    Oh lord great a asperges diagnosed guy. Don't care about it and just focus on whatever the hell you do

    Z.... ....

    @NORWAY STRONK hey. This is a place for those who want to talk about autism. Let them talk. Youre the only one bothered about this.

  77. K.... B....

    i have autism, and i really want to be a performer when i'm older, so this really hit close to home. it's really inspiring to know that you've used your autism to artistically express yourself. it makes me feel like i can do it, too.

  78. T.... C....

    thank you Dan Bull

  79. T.... C....

    I have autism,ADHD,echolalylia, damage to my brain and possibly a little terrets

    T.... C....

    Seeing Clearly Media Why don't you look up what these mental disorders are instead of being comment cancer.

    T.... C....

    @Seeing Clearly Media layman's*....There's way to many others then that ...ANYWAY

    Saying they are all equally bad is quite hilarious. As you've compared before mental illness to cuts/bruises, so if they are all equally bad isn't a paper cut equal to a broken leg?! One takes time and efforts to heal you need a x-ray, might as well have lobbed it off centuries ago cause we didn't have x-rays. But the other will barely go noticed by anyone but you, cause it only bothers you.

    "all diagnosis a doctor can give is bad all of them" OH NO YOUR PREGNANT!!!! Just thought that was funny.

    T.... C....

    wow and everyone thinks the autistics are the dumb ones

    T.... C....

    @mollymoon fan good one!

  80. �.... ....

    До слёз

  81. S.... D....

    #AutisticAndProud

    S.... D....

    @Adolf Hitler I am open to a cure that's not being closed minded accepting the unacceptable is closed minded .

    S.... D....

    @Seeing Clearly Media I'm accepting that others have differing opinions and not going through the comments and telling them, that they themselves are wrong. That they should be ashamed of who they are, you sir should be ashamed.

    S.... D....

    @Adolf Hitler I am exercising my rights of free speech I have nothing in that regard to be ashamed about because after all the twisted minded is you not me.

    S.... D....

    @Seeing Clearly Media Well let see YouTube's policy on hate speech (since this isn't the US)

    Hate speech
    We encourage free speech and try to defend your right to express unpopular points of view, but we don't permit hate speech.

    Hate speech refers to content that promotes violence or hatred against individuals or groups based on certain attributes, such as:

    race or ethnic origin
    religion
    disability
    gender
    age
    veteran status
    sexual orientation/gender identity

    There is a fine line between what is and what is not considered to be hate speech. For instance, it is generally okay to criticize a nation-state, but not okay to post malicious hateful comments about a group of people solely based on their ethnicity.

    Oh my, look at number three I don't consider it that myself but some might. Some of your comments could very well be viewed as hate speech too, such as the first in this thread!

  82. E.... ....

    damn daniel

    E.... ....

    @Damien Irwin thank

  83. l.... j....

    i dont feel i shouldn't be proud or ashamed of being autistic.

    l.... j....

    @Adolf Hitler I can tell you and guarantee you that at minimum there is something to be worried about/something wrong and that is (YOU HAVE BEEN LABED AS Disabled ).

    l.... j....

    Well lets check the definition on that, from the merriam webster dictionary.

    Definition of autism
    : a variable developmental disorder that appears by age three and is characterized by impairment of the ability to form normal social relationships, by impairment of the ability to communicate with others, and by repetitive behavior patterns —called also autistic disorder —

    I don't see anything about a disability, more so a lack in development in social skills early on. Which could be due to many reasons, such as how we developed in the womb. Causing our prefrontal cortex to be slightly under developed; but since the prefrontal cortex is one of the last part of the brain to develop (in life) we wouldn't catch up in this knowledge till much later. Yes of course there are alot of other symptoms of autism this is just a common one.

    l.... j....

    @Adolf Hitler impaired means disability the fact that kids get IEP means it's a disability you have to really stupid to be anti-cure as you are showing yourself right now to be.

    l.... j....

    @Seeing Clearly Media What your teaching is how truly in how bigoted some one can truly be its fascinating

    l.... j....

    @Seeing Clearly Ministry listen, autism has no cure yet. And i dont think we will ever have it but we cant just sit here and mope. Its honestly who we are. We gotta live life right now and we gotta take what we have. We know that people use it as an insult. We know that we aren't wired the same. But that doesn't mean we give up. We are people. What you are saying is that there is something wrong with us. No. We are just different. Stop hating on those who think differently.

  84. M.... W....

    I fucking cried, man. This hits deep in the heart.

  85. M.... W....

    I fucking cried, man. This hits deep in the heart.

  86. d.... f....

    Dan bull isn't just a rapper he is a poet

  87. f.... ....

    This made me cry cause I also have autism and its very true, I go through the same thing every day and feel so alone and used to tell myself that I shouldn't exist but that  was before I found music and youtube and most importantly you. Even though I'm only 13 I have the vocab of a 18 year old. So I completely understand how you feel but I'm very lucky because I have many friends who love me for who I am and don't care that I have autism. I thank those people when ever I can and no one else understands why I do so but I guess that's just how I get things done.I wish one day I can be as influential as you Dan, and I'm happy to say that although I have no treatment people love me and I tell them through song. Recently my friend hated their life but I wrote them a song and they cheered right up. You are one of the people who  gave me confidence as an autistic person, a singer and a normal person so thank you, Dan.And sorry for the long comment by the way I just needed to say that.

  88. b.... ....

    I have autism and this is actually quite comforting to hear a rapper with the same condition as me. At least i know two songs about it.

  89. M.... C....

    your not the only one mate. your music is amazing

  90. A.... E....

    my brother and my bff have aspergers and i feel like people are afraid to be friends with people who have autism. its not like they chose to be that way

  91. S.... ....

    I have autism, and this really hit home. I dont have Aspergers specifically, but I am on the spectrum

    S.... ....

    I don't have autism but most of my friends have it and I feel for them man

    S.... ....

    Why most of your friends have autism?

    S.... ....

    @bartekzet2854 i Bet he doesnt know, what asperger is

    S.... ....

    @Bwuah nah his personality type might just get along with people like us more than others.

  92. C.... V....

    This song made me cry!

  93. K.... M....

    Wait, don't tell me that Dan... has Autism?

    K.... M....

    Yes I think he does. He made another rap about how autism feels to him.

    K.... M....

    +Amber Shoffren not full blown. he has aspergers which is on the autism spectrum

    K.... M....

    +Amber Shoffren AWE-TISTIC I think it's called

    K.... M....

    @leo roberts That is such a nice thing to say. I know a few autistic people and they are awesome.

    K.... M....

    What does it matter? HE is an amazing musical artist no mater what.

  94. D.... H....

    This song expresses the exact way I feel everyday living with autism...

  95. E.... ....

    Greetings from a fellow Aspie.
    Aspie lite, in my case, but still.

  96. H.... U....

    My baggage is social anxiety but there's a lot in this that speaks to me

  97. s.... ....

    I've just been diagnosed with Aspergers, this is exactly the way I feel dude

    s.... ....

    Andrew White Ohh dude thats just dark i feel for you

    s.... ....

    It a good rapping

    s.... ....

    I haven't been diagnosed yet from the evaluation I took a week ago, but from what both I and others have seen it's extremely likely that I do have Aspergers. I felt the exact same way about the vid.

    s.... ....

    Well welcome to the club mate

    s.... ....

    I was diagnosed with Aspergers when I was 3.