Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast - The Miracle Of Birth Lyrics
Of all the mystery and wonder
And beauty on this earth
Nothing can compare to
The miracle of birth
Well your cervix has been closed
But soon that viscous plug
Will be discharged
It's called 'bloody show'
And explosive diarrhea
Means that labor's drawing nearer
And those sharp painful contractions
Cause your cervix to enlarge
Then you race your ass
Over to the hospital
Where they'll strap you in
For the hell ride of your life
It's what your body's made for
You'll soon be in so much pain
That you'll probably exclaim
"Please just kill me now
Doctor, doula, or midwife!"
Tear, tear, tear
Goes your vagina!
Never will it be
Its cute little self again
But the good news is
If you have a few more kids
The rest will basically
Plop right out
After hours and hours
Of utter torture
You may poop yourself and/or
Throw up as you bear down
Cause you're a goddess!
And though you've never
Been this tired-wait!
Here comes the ring of fire
That's your vagina bursting
Into flames as the head
Starts to crown
Burn, burn, burn
Goes your vagina!
And you'll curse and scream
Until you hear a cry!
It's your baby!
And oops! There it went-a
That was the placenta
Which you must expel
Or you will surely die!
When it's all over they place
The baby on your breast
You may be happy for a moment
But then for months you'll be depressed
'Cause you've wrecked your life and body
You'll think "What's it really worth?"
All that for the miracle of birth!
Other Lyrics by Artist
- Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast - Meet Rebecca!
- Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast - Buttload Of Cats
- Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast - Face Your Fears (Reprise)
- Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast - This Session Is Going To Be Different
- Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast - Horny Angry Tango
- Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast - He's The New Guy
- Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast - Fit Hot Guys Have Problems Too
- Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast - Without Love You Can Save The World
- Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast - Get Your Ass Out Of My House
- Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast - Fuckton Of Cats
- Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast - I'm Just A Boy In Love
- Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast - Maybe I'm Just Broken
- Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast - No One Else Is Singing My Song
- Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast - What's Your Story?
- Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast - Settle For Her (Cut Song)
- Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast - The End Of The Movie (Adam Schlesinger Demo)
- Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast - Nothing Is Ever Anyone's Fault
- Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast - The Miracle Of Birth
Rand Lyrics
- Eighteen Visions - Wine 'Em, Dine 'Em, Sixty-Nine 'Em
- Eighteen Visions - That Ain't Elvis Playing Piano
- Eighteen Visions - Revolutionizing The Sound Of Music
- Eighteen Visions - Prelude To An Epic / Flowers For Ingrid
- Eighteen Visions - Vanity
- Eighteen Visions - Fashion Show
- Eighteen Visions - One Hell Of A Prize Fighter
- Eighteen Visions - I Don't Mind
- Eighteen Visions - A Short Walk Down A Long Hallway
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