Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast - Greg's Drinking Song Lyrics






[Greg:]
Gather ye 'round and I'll tell you a tale
Of all the great times I've had with an ale
There's joy and there's glory, more than you can think
Yes, this is what happens to me when I drink!

I pee my pants! my pants! I pee my pants
I get up from the bar to find pee on my pants!
I say it's water, but all it takes is a glance
For people to realize I peed my pants!

[White Josh:]
Wow, I did not know it was that bad

[Greg:]
Yes, wine can be fun - white, rosé and red
'Till I call up my boss to say I wish he was dead
Chase down the regret with some gin for good luck
Then steal my cousin Jim's landscaping truck

Drive home then
I puke on my cat, my cat! I puke on my cat
I fall through the doorway and puke on my cat
Poor little Bruno did not expect that
I try for the toilet but puke on my cat!

While some can enjoy a scotch with a steak
Or one glass of wine, then they're barely awake
For me it's much different what happens when
I try to have one, it just turns into ten
And then...

I fly a plane, a plane! I fly a plane
I knock on the cockpit shouting, "I'll fly this plane!"
We emergency landed, the TSA came
Now I'm banned from southwest 'cause I try to fly planes!

Everybody!

[All men, except Greg:]
He has sex with a bush, a bush! he has sex with a bush!

[Greg:]
That wasn't a woman?

[All men, except Greg:]
No it was a bush!
It had twigs and leaves 'cause it was a bush!

[Greg:]
That's where that scar comes from!

[All men, except Greg:]
From sexing a bush!

But he's breaking the cycle and making a push!
He's quitting his drinking
And saving his pants and his cat and southwest and Jim's truck

[Hector:]
And my car

[White Josh:]
My car too!

[All men:]
And a bush!





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Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast Greg's Drinking Song Comments
  1. M.... S....

    Love the Bob Dylan reference XD

  2. E.... U....

    That song bring SO much joy in my life ! I don't even know how to explain it

  3. T.... ....

    I love white josh🤣🤣🤣

  4. Y.... 2....

    I miss Greg so much😭

  5. L.... W....

    His face when he says "That's where that scar comes from!" is everything to me

  6. S.... J....

    This is probably my favorite song out of all the songs that exist

  7. B.... B....

    Best song ever to be honest

  8. M.... ....

    I just destroyed my 20000 dollars gaming laptop and made tons of embarrassing YT comments. Dude, don't feel too bad. :(

  9. A.... P....

    2:02 This part had no right making me want to cry

  10. A.... P....

    How did no-one spill their drink?

  11. v.... ....

    I think I just had an epiphany here.

    It's confirmed at the end of the series that all the songs Rebecca made up in her head long after they already happened, right?

    That would mean this number isn't happening, and Rebecca actually knows about all of this because Greg told her, long after he got better and into a much healthier headspace.

    Call me crazy, but you don't tell those details to just anyone, do you? Which means...

  12. T.... ....

    Still don't get how they have Greg hate everything later in this show. Sure it was a different actor but it was suppose to he the same character.. With all the singing he does.. Nope. Don't buy it.

  13. n.... ....

    that's where that scar comes from!

  14. C.... H....

    Best thing in this song: White Josh's expressions of approval

  15. L.... D....

    me: hes more than just the guy from frozen!
    also me, showing this song to my friends: guys look hes the guy from frozen

    L.... D....

    Haha saammee

  16. D.... L....

    Love how the show helps destigmatize addiction and mental illness

  17. L.... ....

    This may be one of the darkest songs on the show, but also one of the funniest. All of the things they’re describing are terrifying to witness in real life, and just really depressing. It’s terrible to watch someone who suffers so deeply with alcoholism, and this song captures the self-hate/self-awareness of how bad it can really get, while still being hilarious

  18. V.... M....

    I want to see that scar, for errmm... Research purposes... 😏

  19. S.... M....

    Easily my favorite song.

  20. A.... P....

    This series mixes comedy with more serious themes better than Deadpool 2 did

  21. J.... C....

    I've relapsed recently but this right now is helping me get my head sorted. Doh.

  22. H.... F....

    He had sex with a bush,
    A bush,
    He had sex with a bush.
    - Was it Jenna or Barb?
    - No, the actual bush

  23. D.... D....

    I'm Greg. I approve of this song. And this is pretty much what happens to me when I drink.

  24. M.... I....

    'I puke on my cat! My cat!' that shit gets me every single time. Poor little bruno

  25. t.... j....

    "That wasn't a woman?"

    "No it was a Bush. It had twigs and leaves because it was a very bush"

    That part always gets me lol

  26. H.... ....

    This is amazing

  27. m.... c....

    PERFEITOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  28. A.... A....

    White Josh just cracks me up, he steals every moment in this video 😂😂

  29. P.... k....

    This song is one that made me burst into tears of laughter. In such a wonderful coincidence that will never happen to me again, I was watching this episode while catsitting three cats, the friendliest one being named Bruno (I'm not making it up 😂). When this song came on, it sounded so cheerful I picked the cat up and started dancing with him around the kitchen, and when the line about Greg vomiting on his cat Bruno came up, it caught me so off guard I fell down laughing, terrifying the poor cat to death. Poor little Bruno did not expect that!

  30. E.... K....

    Things did not turn out well for Hans after he returned south

  31. B.... ....

    I love that Heather just slowly gets into the song

  32. C.... ....

    I can smell the last ship.

  33. A.... A....

    Some ppl like listening to pop music but I like to listen to Greg’s drinking song on repeat ✌🏼😎

  34. p.... ....

    i didnt puke on my cat, i didnt puke anywhere near my cat

  35. a.... ....

    This describes perfectly the Finnish way to drink

  36. C.... U....

    I love how white josh is breaking stereotypes ❤️

  37. k.... ....

    I'm happy he got clean. ❤

  38. E.... A....

    "When I try to have one, it just turns into ten." Me when I'm buying coffee with my hyper best friend

  39. S.... H....

    THIS SONG IS A BOP IN THE WEIRDEST WAY

  40. S.... ....

    Irish folk song ... needs a Banjo??

  41. M.... M....

    Imagine someone ten times bigger than you puking on you >_>

  42. E.... K....

    Santino’s voice is just too beautiful damn

  43. B.... ....

    Haha that sex with a bush waa referenced by Josh recently

  44. M.... C....

    This song makes me want Santino Fontana in Frozen 2. I totally want Hans to sing something like this. I don’t care what they do with him as long as he sings a song about drinking and peeing his own pants.

  45. t.... f....

    AND HIS PANTS! AND HIS CAT! AND SOUTHWEST! AND JIM’S TRUCK! AND MY CAR! MY CAR TOO! AND THE BUSH!

    t.... f....

    lol that part killed me

  46. r.... ....

    One of my faves

  47. A.... S....

    i miss greg. i was hoping that he'd at least make a cameo in the last season but i honestly dont think that's very likely.

  48. i.... ....

    ~my cat, my cat, I puke on my cat~

  49. w.... ....

    I had sex with a cactus

  50. 6.... ....

    1:37 jake peralta

    6.... ....

    they’re literally the same people, you can’t change my mind

  51. C.... ....

    i love irish songs! XD this one is amazing!!!! XD

  52. S.... M....

    The empathetic look and shoulder touch thing Josh did when Greg realizes that he indeed had sex with a bush 1:58-2:01. As if hes saying "I feel you bro"

  53. T.... ....

    Poor little Bruno did not expect that

  54. T.... ....

    Someone should take the tune of this song and make it into an actual Irish song. Wouldn't that be fun?

  55. S.... ....

    1:03 ????

  56. R.... ....

    Poor little Bruno.
    lolol Heather's face

  57. L.... B....

    Santino I love your voice

  58. S.... ....

    Josh looks super weird in these clothes lol
    Usually he's really cute but that hat does not suit him

  59. S.... S....

    I miss Greg☹️☹️😢

  60. o.... d....

    Sex with a bush
    A bush
    He had sex with a bush

  61. f.... ....

    :'( Greg come back!!!

  62. b.... ....

    I can only hit like once, but I've watched a few times.
    Great timing, great cadence, amazing cast!

  63. J.... H....

    Santino makes an adorable Newsie

  64. H.... C....

    My little nephew is 5, and sings this all the time,hey we have all peed our pants lol 💦 xx

  65. J.... D....

    "I PEE MY PANTS! MY PANTS! I PEE MY PANTS!" big, big, BIG mood

  66. m.... ....

    The amount of times I find myself absentmindedly humming "then I puke on my cat, my cat, I puke on my cat" is a bit worrying... this song is too catchy for its own good 😂

  67. D.... H....

    I SAY IT’S WATER, BUT ALL IT TAKES IS A GLANCE
    FOR PEOPLE TO REALIZE I LOVE JOSH CHAN

    wait.. what?

  68. G.... M....

    You know you're a little bit too Irish when that stupid outfit makes Greg even more attractive :/

    G.... M....

    Nah. I'm heavily non Irish and I love that outfit on Greg too

    G.... M....

    I only have the tiniest bit of Irish blood, and I totally agree.

  69. s.... k....

    I can't believe this guy voiced a prince in a Disney movie

  70. E.... M....

    This reminds me of a Disney song/movie and I don't remember which one.

    E.... M....

    I have a dream from Tangled

  71. g.... ....

    Identify

  72. D.... T....

    Heather is the queen of background deadpan facial expressions

  73. s.... ....

    "I puke on my cat!" This song cheers me up after my own drunken humiliations.

  74. E.... ....

    Sometimes I listen to this song while I drink... This feels hypocritical.

  75. s.... ....

    I miss Greg :(

  76. G.... B....

    Can't stop listening to this

  77. R.... B....

    The melody here reminds me so much of 'The times they are a changing" by Bob Dylan

    R.... B....

    The tune is definitely Bob Dylan’s “The Times They Are A-Changin’” from the 1964 album of the same name: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90WD_ats6eE

  78. G.... Y....

    greg is more handsome than josh

  79. G.... G....

    I was going through a rough breakup with an alcoholic when I watched this episode and cried through a lot of this. Under the comedy it is all so real.

    G.... G....

    wasn't you a bush?

    G.... G....

    @Contrappunto Dude. Not cool.

  80. D.... W....

    Is it just me or when Greg said " Poor little Bruno did not expect that" Heather's face was like "Who the hell is Bruno?"

    D.... W....

    D W I’m assuming the cat, Bc hes talking about puking on his cat

  81. T.... M....

    can I just thank this show for helping me realize so many topics about myself that need to change

  82. J.... R....

    fake fiancee

  83. R.... L....

    I love greg so much holy FUCK

  84. K.... M....

    One simple gesture from Heather usually makes me guffaw. She might be my favorite.

  85. m.... r....

    my favorite part was the plane part ahahhahahah dead "i'll fly this plane"

  86. D.... H....

    "Puke on my cat!" Oh Lord, I'm dead.

  87. D.... ....

    For some reason I just love this song so much

  88. p.... ....

    now I want Santino to voice a character in Brave 2( if there ever is one)

    p.... ....

    Santino is meant to be Irish here.. Brave / Merida is in Scotland haha

    p.... ....

    Roisin Dubh hahaha 😂😂😂 that was a mess

  89. A.... G....

    when i was 22 i puked on my dog

    it was st paddys and i'd just gone through a breakup but it's the drunkest i've ever been. never again omg

  90. h.... ....

    amazing! love the costumes and commitment to the genre!

  91. E.... H....

    Yeah, go Greg! Kickin' Addiction! :D

  92. R.... ....

    "I puked on my cat"
    I laughed so hard!!!

  93. H.... A....

    Didn't know greg has a cat :D

  94. T.... ....

    Happy as I am for Greg that he's made so many positive changes in his life... I miss him and want him back on the show. :'(

  95. M.... ....

    When he sings about puking on his cat, I lost it.

    M.... ....

    Musi gets me everytime

  96. E.... S....

    "That wasn't a woman?"
    "No, it was a bush."

    E.... S....

    Elizabeth Sackett not the kind of bush he was aiming for

    E.... S....

    It was Lourdes' Bush

    E.... S....

    Elizabeth Sackett they are so similar, ya know?

  97. P.... ....

    my drunk friend fell into a bush the other day and i immediately launched into "it had twigs, and leaves cause it was a bush"

  98. f.... ....

    The show will keep being amazing, but, damn, Santino was dynamite

  99. S.... ....

    I love everyone reaction to his coming out as an alcoholic