Cozart, Jon - Ex Girlfriends Suck Lyrics






I love your hair, your smile, your clothes
I love your cankles and your elephant nose
I love your freckles and your eyes
Don't forget about her thunder thighs

Girl, did it hurt when you fell from heaven
It hurt, she landed on her face
Girl, I need to put you on my "to do list"
Or my hit list, whichever really works
If you were a booger I'd pick you first
Well I'd lick you first

Girl, you're everything I (don't) want
You're everything I (don't) need
Without you I can barely (finally) breath

You're so fat
You got arrested at the airport for 10 pounds of crack
Not even Clinton would sleep with you
When trucks back up they beep like you
And no one wants to be with you
I never want to see you again

You're like the elephant man
It looks like you seriously stopped a van with your face
Your face is like the sun
Yep, it burns my retinas
You have beautiful puppy dog eyes
Maybe you should go to the vet

You smell like a pig and you look like a fish
If you were a cow I'd put you right on a dish
You're crazy like a monkey you belong in a zoo
If you were a horse I'd turn you right into glue

Your eyes are like a pond in which the fish of beauty swim
You have a mustache like my dads, you really need a trim
All I really wanted to say
Is I love (hate) you





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Cozart, Jon Ex Girlfriends Suck Comments
  1. a.... ....

    Paint pretending to be straight is the funniest thing ever

  2. r.... d....

    happy 10 year anniversary to this iconic vid 😂😭💞

  3. G.... P....

    2020 anyone?


    No?
    Okay... imma watch it alone then....

  4. J.... 1....

    Its been 9 years wtf

  5. A.... a....

    Who‘s still here in 2020??

  6. B.... ....

    mans has piano TALENT

  7. I.... E....

    Mee just me

  8. K.... R....

    Anyone else still here 2020, I'm so proud of myself that I still remember the words

  9. S.... P....

    Look how smol this bean is 🥺

  10. J.... N....

    Is anyone else watching Jon's old videos while waiting for him to post a new video?

  11. J.... G....

    Clearly the I love you video didn't work to well for him 😬

  12. B.... ....

    *"you have a mustache like my dad"* song ends...

  13. M.... ....

    Does anyone know the beginning piano song name if it is actually a song? Thank you, sounds really familiar to me

  14. M.... E....

    Ah, ten years later and this song is still a favourite

  15. S.... ....

    Why were you still playing the piano while Bryan was singing?

    S.... ....

    oh poor baby, thats him

  16. J.... B....

    Why he still playing when his bro singing🙃

  17. J.... A....

    Little did he know he would be a legend...

  18. M.... H....

    It took me ten fuckin years to realize they aren’t twins

  19. R.... G....

    Ha I love the ending 😂❤️amazing content

  20. l.... l....

    This video Is published In February. Six months before I was BORN!!!!!!!

  21. E.... R....

    Is anyone gonna talk about Jon’s amazing piano skills?

  22. T.... ....

    it took me longer then i want to admit to realize it's the same person...

  23. j.... F....

    2020 anyone??!

  24. D.... m....

    Are we just going to ignore those insane piano skills?!

  25. �.... L....

    *2:02** looks like sombodys agreeing while playing the piano dramatically,*

  26. k.... 2....

    lol GAYYYYY

  27. C.... ....

    I'm Bryan 100%

  28. C.... C....

    Hate makes people do amazing things

  29. P.... l....

    *S A L T Y AF*

  30. C.... a....

    Almost 10 years and it still kills me

  31. E.... E....

    Jon is like an alternate universe version of Bo Burnham

  32. D.... P....

    Wow he's really amazing

  33. S.... 4....

    Its been far too long

  34. D.... W....

    Me only singing and knowing “Brian’s” part

  35. D.... C....

    Who's here AGAIN after almost 10 years?

  36. C.... J....

    2019/2020 anyone?

    C.... J....

    THANK U FINALLY

  37. A.... G....

    OMG WHOEVER TRANSLATED THIS INTO FILIPINO I LIKE YOUR HUMOR 😂

  38. A.... :....

    2019-2020

  39. M.... O....

    For some reason I’ve literally memorized every single lyric in this song lol

  40. B.... B....

    I remember this song 😭

  41. T.... P....

    The hair cut gets better the further you go down the years 😂

  42. c.... ....

    The editting mishap at 0:40 still gets me 🤣

  43. E.... H....

    He's
    So
    Young

  44. W.... B....

    The piano skills were so underappreciated

  45. W.... F....

    I get serious Drake and Josh vibes from this video for whatever reason

  46. K.... R....

    this used to be my favourite youtube video and i just found it again after like 3 years and i somehow managed to sing every word along with him

  47. G.... N....

    Dude I didn't even read the whole title

  48. C.... c....

    Guy on the left-me
    Guy on the right-my friend

    Yup, im dating his ex

  49. L.... 2....

    Blue shirt sounds like larry from veggie tales.
    Not even gonna lie.

  50. J.... A....

    It’s taken me 9 years to find this

  51. T.... L....

    Every time I watch this I replay the intense piano part, those are mad skills 💓💓

  52. R.... G....

    I LOST IT ON THE "YOU BELONG IN A ZoO"

  53. G.... _....

    He wrote this (well published it) on my birthday when I turned 3

  54. I.... V....

    This guy has so much musical talent. Just think about thar.

  55. l.... ....

    Old YouTube was a gem

  56. J.... ....

    Anyone here in 2019.

  57. �.... D....

    Such a great hidden way to say your actual feelings about your ex 😂

  58. A.... M....

    Who else is here in 2019?

  59. T.... M....

    SHUT UP BRIAN

  60. Z.... ....

    I honestly only just understood the 'I need to put you on my to-do list' line because I was 8 years old the last time I watched this lol

  61. F.... T....

    Let’s maybe not go back to the time when I thought there were two of you

  62. V.... a....

    I love it how when he
    Singing bad about his “ex girlfriend” - his “brother “ is still playing the piano for him XD

  63. R.... C....

    OMG ITS BEEN 10 years I’m a teenager, how is it possible I feel old?

  64. S.... b....

    Dear Asher,




    Your face burns my retinas

  65. o.... v....

    the geekier bo burnham

  66. C.... Q....

    Brian had no chill in this video.

  67. R.... C....

    Please tell me there is a karaoke version somewhere

  68. P.... M....

    Crazy to think that this video is almost ten years old

  69. �.... ....

    취향 참 한결

  70. �.... ....

    아 6개월 전에 이미 써놨네ㅋㅋㅋ

  71. �.... ....

    02:01 i kuv that piano

  72. B.... M....

    OMG HE WAS SO YOUNG

  73. B.... ....

    I luv this so so much i could losten to it all day xD

  74. R.... G....

    I l o v e t h i s

  75. L.... C....

    ah, *a truly a timeless masterpiece.*

  76. x.... l....

    It's like you before you break up and after you break up

  77. r.... n....

    I just realized that they’re the same person...

  78. s.... ....

    are there any notes for this song?
    I wish I can play it on the piano

  79. �.... ....

    If you think I'm handsome, I'll point my finger at you, and the Earth is folded and I live in South Korea, and I've been to High Five with Alaska.

  80. T.... D....

    My nigga

  81. o.... R....

    I watched this 9 years ago

  82. D.... 9....

    Wow this hi is video was made when I was 2 years old 😲

  83. F.... ....

    This sounds a lot like Bo Burnham

  84. r.... v....

    Still listening this !

  85. J.... J....

    I just got recommended today like damn this is 9 years old love it though

  86. A.... I....

    MY EX SENT THIS TO ME 💀

  87. W.... 1....

    *Me as the guy wearing glasses*
    😂

  88. N.... d....

    They are me. I am them. We are one.

  89. t.... ....

    Look at little you.... awww...

  90. H.... B....

    0:58
    I love how Bryan was like, KEEP PLAYING

  91. n.... v....

    I love this song so much XDD it's killing me XDDD

  92. M.... Z....

    i love this so much xD

  93. E.... N....

    ryan is me every time someone slightly hurts my feelings....
    “you *took* my heart out and you shoved it down my esophagus!”

  94. m.... ....

    no one:
    absolutely no one:
    not a single soul:
    old smosh: 0:28

  95. K.... C....

    Yeah ruin the vid