Cozart, Jon - Ex Girlfriends Suck Lyrics
I love your hair, your smile, your clothes
I love your cankles and your elephant nose
I love your freckles and your eyes
Don't forget about her thunder thighs
It hurt, she landed on her face
Girl, I need to put you on my "to do list"
Or my hit list, whichever really works
If you were a booger I'd pick you first
Well I'd lick you first
Girl, you're everything I (don't) want
You're everything I (don't) need
Without you I can barely (finally) breath
You got arrested at the airport for 10 pounds of crack
Not even Clinton would sleep with you
When trucks back up they beep like you
And no one wants to be with you
I never want to see you again
You're like the elephant man
It looks like you seriously stopped a van with your face
Your face is like the sun
Yep, it burns my retinas
You have beautiful puppy dog eyes
Maybe you should go to the vet
You smell like a pig and you look like a fish
If you were a cow I'd put you right on a dish
You're crazy like a monkey you belong in a zoo
If you were a horse I'd turn you right into glue
Your eyes are like a pond in which the fish of beauty swim
You have a mustache like my dads, you really need a trim
All I really wanted to say
Is I love (hate) you
Other Lyrics by Artist
- Cozart, Jon - 2016 Sucks Song
- Cozart, Jon - Politiclash
- Cozart, Jon - Politiclash 2
- Cozart, Jon - Progressive Christmas Carols
- Cozart, Jon - Rip Vine: A Song
- Cozart, Jon - Share The Love
- Cozart, Jon - Star Wars In 99 Seconds
- Cozart, Jon - Tourist: A Love Song From Paris
- Cozart, Jon - Vine vs YouTube: The Song
- Cozart, Jon - White Boy Rappin!
- Cozart, Jon - YouTube Culture
- Cozart, Jon - Movie Villain Medley
- Cozart, Jon - Lord Of The Rings In 99 Seconds
- Cozart, Jon - After Ever After
- Cozart, Jon - After Ever After 2
- Cozart, Jon - After Ever After 3
- Cozart, Jon - Boy Band Parody
- Cozart, Jon - Cup Song
Rand Lyrics
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Cozart, Jon Ex Girlfriends Suck Comments
Paint pretending to be straight is the funniest thing ever
happy 10 year anniversary to this iconic vid 😂😭💞
2020 anyone?
No?
Okay... imma watch it alone then....
Its been 9 years wtf
Who‘s still here in 2020??
mans has piano TALENT
Mee just me
Anyone else still here 2020, I'm so proud of myself that I still remember the words
Look how smol this bean is 🥺
Is anyone else watching Jon's old videos while waiting for him to post a new video?
Clearly the I love you video didn't work to well for him 😬
*"you have a mustache like my dad"* song ends...
Does anyone know the beginning piano song name if it is actually a song? Thank you, sounds really familiar to me
Ah, ten years later and this song is still a favourite
Why were you still playing the piano while Bryan was singing?
oh poor baby, thats him
Why he still playing when his bro singing🙃
Little did he know he would be a legend...
It took me ten fuckin years to realize they aren’t twins
Ha I love the ending 😂❤️amazing content
This video Is published In February. Six months before I was BORN!!!!!!!
Is anyone gonna talk about Jon’s amazing piano skills?
it took me longer then i want to admit to realize it's the same person...
2020 anyone??!
Are we just going to ignore those insane piano skills?!
*2:02** looks like sombodys agreeing while playing the piano dramatically,*
lol GAYYYYY
I'm Bryan 100%
Hate makes people do amazing things
*S A L T Y AF*
Almost 10 years and it still kills me
Jon is like an alternate universe version of Bo Burnham
Wow he's really amazing
Its been far too long
Me only singing and knowing “Brian’s” part
Who's here AGAIN after almost 10 years?
2019/2020 anyone?
THANK U FINALLY
OMG WHOEVER TRANSLATED THIS INTO FILIPINO I LIKE YOUR HUMOR 😂
2019-2020
For some reason I’ve literally memorized every single lyric in this song lol
I remember this song 😭
The hair cut gets better the further you go down the years 😂
The editting mishap at 0:40 still gets me 🤣
He's
So
Young
The piano skills were so underappreciated
I get serious Drake and Josh vibes from this video for whatever reason
this used to be my favourite youtube video and i just found it again after like 3 years and i somehow managed to sing every word along with him
Dude I didn't even read the whole title
Guy on the left-me
Guy on the right-my friend
Yup, im dating his ex
Blue shirt sounds like larry from veggie tales.
Not even gonna lie.
It’s taken me 9 years to find this
Every time I watch this I replay the intense piano part, those are mad skills 💓💓
I LOST IT ON THE "YOU BELONG IN A ZoO"
He wrote this (well published it) on my birthday when I turned 3
This guy has so much musical talent. Just think about thar.
Old YouTube was a gem
Anyone here in 2019.
Such a great hidden way to say your actual feelings about your ex 😂
Who else is here in 2019?
SHUT UP BRIAN
I honestly only just understood the 'I need to put you on my to-do list' line because I was 8 years old the last time I watched this lol
Let’s maybe not go back to the time when I thought there were two of you
I love it how when he
Singing bad about his “ex girlfriend” - his “brother “ is still playing the piano for him XD
OMG ITS BEEN 10 years I’m a teenager, how is it possible I feel old?
Dear Asher,
Your face burns my retinas
the geekier bo burnham
Brian had no chill in this video.
Please tell me there is a karaoke version somewhere
Crazy to think that this video is almost ten years old
취향 참 한결
아 6개월 전에 이미 써놨네ㅋㅋㅋ
02:01 i kuv that piano
OMG HE WAS SO YOUNG
I luv this so so much i could losten to it all day xD
I l o v e t h i s
ah, *a truly a timeless masterpiece.*
It's like you before you break up and after you break up
I just realized that they’re the same person...
are there any notes for this song?
I wish I can play it on the piano
If you think I'm handsome, I'll point my finger at you, and the Earth is folded and I live in South Korea, and I've been to High Five with Alaska.
My nigga
I watched this 9 years ago
Wow this hi is video was made when I was 2 years old 😲
This sounds a lot like Bo Burnham
Still listening this !
I just got recommended today like damn this is 9 years old love it though
MY EX SENT THIS TO ME 💀
*Me as the guy wearing glasses*
😂
They are me. I am them. We are one.
Look at little you.... awww...
0:58
I love how Bryan was like, KEEP PLAYING
I love this song so much XDD it's killing me XDDD
i love this so much xD
ryan is me every time someone slightly hurts my feelings....
“you *took* my heart out and you shoved it down my esophagus!”
no one:
absolutely no one:
not a single soul:
old smosh: 0:28
Yeah ruin the vid