Clendening, Anna - That Wasn't Me, That Was Patricia Lyrics

this needs to be in spotify

I use to make memes about the name Patricia I think that’s how it spelled

When I was 14/15/16 I hated myself and I thought I wanted to die.
I was suffering from selfharm and I attempted suicide. This is one of the songs I listened to the most because it made me feel less alone.
Now I'm 18. I recovered. I am loved. And I can feel that I want to have my life in my hands, I want to study, work, be someone and suffer but with the consolation that I will always find some to stay with: myself.
U can do it, always.
(Hope u understand what I'm saying through my bad English)

If you know you know some never will

Put this on Spotify please!😭♥️

Anna please why isn't this song on Spotify?

I think there's something in my eye 😭 wait no I'm just crying 😭🤩 2019!!

please upload to Spotify💓💓

She's going through a lot,She's one of the strongest person I know.💜

PATRICIAAAA..

“ShMe in You”

This was sent to me

I feel this song soooo much it is the story of my life... but i think the song should be called “the voices”

2019 ❤️

This song was made for me😭

Please put this on Spotify

I’m not the only one who thought of the Vine right?

"when you're already dead inside, there's nothing else to live for" never related more tbh

Who on earth is Patricia?????

😢😢😢😢😢😢

you're absolutely amazing:) so glad i found your music, i hope you'll come to Poland, love u🖤☺️

I want this on Spotify please. <3

I just love her music!!!

Is the title related to split ?

Wow! Girl you are amazingly powerful ✨

I feel like this rn. Nothing seems to be going right....

A few days ago I told my friends if someone put a gun to my head I would tell them to shoot me. Im just hearing about this song and when I heard what she said I said "Does everyone feel that way."

Wooow... Depressing.

Bpd the illness no women or man want to deal with, bpd the disorder that's destined to live a lonely life and no one loving them or even give them support, as a man I'm realizing women rather break me down that to build me up which then causes me to feel even worst about myself chasing me for material to ghost me cuz I don't drive. As if I'm not battling enough people need or tend to cause more stress on me, even if there is no anger behind my words, I have bpd which must mean I'm crazy

I think this is your best song! Pure emotion, pure truth, pure gold.

Yes, we are all a bit weird and I don't trust the ones who seem "normal"
I proudly fly my freak flag. Nothing but Love, Anna <3

When I start to over think or when I get sad I listen to this song I doubt that's a good idea because it could make it worse but it helps also because I know I'm not alone and someone else is dealing with it also

I don't understand the name...
(Ps. I really love this song, it's amazing)

Dessert Girl it’s a split reference.

Stay strong Anna you have purpose

Hi Anna, I'm hope you're okay. We're in the same boat. take care okay? please don't OD.

I remember when this song first came out I couldn't stop listening to it💔

This is the most relatable song I’ve ever heard all my life.

I'm so bouncy and bubbly all the time but .... I think about my own death all the time .... maybe that's why I'm so bubbly... is it weird when your like happy but deep down your always thinking about how amazing it would be to just die and not be here anymore .... the times I've tried to kill myself I wasn't crying.... I was smiling .... everytime I've cut I was laughing ..... and I literally hear voices like they have there own personalities one us really sad one is numb and one is mean .... none are good

_honestly_ *the. most. deepest.* song I've ever heard.

😮 wow..Its like she wrote it for me .#babysteps #onedayAtaTIME

This reminds me of my friend who I kept from committing suicide😢 he is still with us though so I'm glad for that

Anna, if no one feels like they understand there are people that do. A lot of people might disagree with this post, but so be it. If you have gotten to the point that some people have, there are still people who can relate. That feeling, those voices, it will never go away. It becomes a part of you that people want to fix. They think it will magically go away through support and love. It won't, and I am sure you realize this. It gets easier, but no amount of love and support can take it away. It is a part of who we are now. All we can do is shoulder it and bury it and try to find a way forward. Even when life gets better and we think we have healed, as soon as we take a fall it will dig its way back through our souls and rip at us. A lot of people won't understand or refuse to understand. But we can still soldier on and carry our hurt even though it seems pointless. There are a lot of people out there that understand. Most people will say they do, but they really don't. We have to find the ones who do in order to really carry on. You hurt more deeply than most people could ever comprehend. At least it seems that way. We have to find happiness where we can, knowing we are ready to leave this world. We have to dig for reasons to carry on, because all of the "hope is in the air" B.S. doesn't really add up to us. My point: hang in there. There are other people who feel similar to how you feel. None of us are the same, but we all have similarities. Keep writing awesome music. Never let that go. You'll find the people you can relate to.

Omg a good song that i just knew!

When you are already dead inside there's nothing left to live for

This is so incredible. Thank you so much for sharing this. It and you are so beautiful and so inspiring.

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Would be nice if this were on Spotify. It's a beautiful song on itself.

Очень красивый голос😊

I have so much self hate I just want everything to stop

@anna
Thank you for your beautiful words and strength. I struggled a long time and now I feel I’m getting better. I think your beautiful words have helped in some way. I will continue to support you keep up the good work

I love your music, but all these "sad" songs are worrying me, I hope you're okay. Maybe make a happy song to reassure me 😣

Is this on Spotify?

I tried killing myself a couple weeks ago and then got sent to the emergency room and got sent to the psych ward.... 😓😢I feel like I’m a fake pretending to be okay when really all I want to do is scream and tell the world that I’m hurting still I’m not better but people think I am😔😣

You will get better, we all do. Do not give up on yourself, you're worth it.

Sasha Martinez thank you❤️

Anytime :)

Reminds me of split

My most recent suicide attempt was 2 nights ago...then I found this song...its the last thing I have

Does anyone know why that's the name of the song?

can i mae acover of this song ?

Can feel this song

damn... my heart is breaking....

Honestly this describes how I’ve been feeling. About 2 years ago in 6th grade I almost attempted suicide. I ended up getting the help I needed thankfully but here I am 2 years later getting those thoughts back. I’m fighting and trying to win this fight but I’m slowly losing hope again.

This is very relatable. We have Dissociative Identity Disorder. It can be very difficult and iscolating. Thank you for releasing works of art like this, and putting the hotline in the description.

That was Patricia, is that a “SPLIT” reference ?

I'm having a panic attack right now,Thank you for this song

"When's it gonna stop?
'Never' they said.
'You're better off dead.'"

You are an inspiration, thank you

I relate to this song on so many levels

I've never related to a song more. This and 1-800-273-8255 by Logic. It's sad that I have the suicide hotline memorized though.

Beautiful voice for a heavy topic. Well done!

"If someone put a gun to my head
I'd gladly I pull the trigger
Cause when your already dead inside
There's nothing else to live for" (1:26)

That really hit me.

So there right now

800th comment

Why is the title that?

its a reference from a movie about split personalities

I love this, this is my go to

Didn't the description say something about how she was okay before? Like to not worry? I dunno if I'm remembering that wrong, I hope I'm just being paranoid and its nothing

Please add this to Spotify!!! I need this

Can we get this on iTunes pleeeeease I need this song

I really hope you put this on spotify!!

I just love this song!! But.... what is up with me?

I should take the advice that my peers give me I should just die goodbye

Love this so much

really wish this was on spotify because i want to listen to it on repeat all the time. ugh

The scariest place that I've ever been
Is in my own head around 2 AM
The room it will spin and I'll feel sick
My chest it'll heave and I cannot breathe
I'm panicking, frantically, so depressed, manically
Pop a few pills to maybe do the trick

'Cause no amount of music can cover the screams
No television shows can hide the voices it seems
I'm sitting in my bed, with my hands over my head, wishing this was all just a dream
I'm sitting in my bed, with my hands over my head, wishing this was all just a dream

Silence is the loudest thing that's ever filled my head
The voices telling, yelling at me I should be dead
Silence is the loudest thing that's ever filled my head
When's it gonna stop?
"Never," they said,
"You're better off dead."

If someone put a gun to my head
I'd gladly pull the trigger
'Cause when you're already dead inside
There's nothing else to live for
You'd be doing me a favour
Literally blowing my mind
By showing me a piece of what's on the inside
A mess I must confess a little bit twisted
Yes I get it, I'll admit it
I'm just a little bit weird
Oh dear but

In this day and age aren't we all a little bit strange?
And the voices we are all starting to hear
In this day and age aren't we all a little bit strange?
And the voices we are all starting to hear

Silence is the loudest thing that's ever filled my head
The voices telling, yelling at me I should be dead
Silence is the loudest thing that's ever filled my head
When's it gonna stop?
"Never," they said,
"You're better off dead."

They say jump from that window sill
We won't catch you but the ground will
Jump from that window sill
We won't catch you but the ground will
Jump from that window sill
We won't catch you but the ground will

You named her Patricia.

Amazing Music luv all the words . I have been suffering for anxiety almost 6 years its horrible! But you inspire I thanks for existing people like you!

i need this on spotify!!!!!❤️❤️❤️

What's the guitar chords for this anna xxx

MY NAME IS PATRICIA AHHHHHHHHH

I just found your channel and I have been listening to only your stuff for like three days now. I wish I found this last year when I really needed your music but it still helps me thank you. you are definitely meant to be heard. and here. so glad you got into music...

Thank you for your music. I feel like I can really connect with you.

giving the fact that I have tried to commit suicide three times in my lifetime, songs like this are great because they feel relatable

Unbelievably inspiring, touching...singing, healing. Thank you for your courage in your sharing through music; so much darkness misunderstood and so much beauty in the song. That is the light, you are a light, helping others to see and be. Grateful for you.

This song is beautiful ❤❤

no there's no brighter days

This song absolutely kills me. I've been struggling with suicidal thoughts and depression for a very long time. My first killed himself. So did my best friend. I don't know what to do anymore.

I have really bad depression and really bad anxiety. Your music helps me so much. I've tried to kill myself so much times with pills and cutting a little too deep. But three of my friends and my bf always stop me. I'm three days clean but I have urges to pick my blades back up and start to cut again. I love your music so much. I can't stop replying it. It is so relatable to me and my bf.

Someone understands the title?

I... Can....Relate

Wow feels like this song goes straight through my soul. So super stunning ♥♥♥

I FUCKING love you Anna!!!!!

you're so good omg