Clendening, Anna - That Wasn't Me, That Was Patricia Lyrics




The scariest place that I've ever been
Is in my own head around 2 AM
The room it will spin and I'll feel sick
My chest it'll heave and I cannot breathe
I'm panicking, frantically, so depressed, manically
Pop a few pills to maybe do the trick

'Cause no amount of music can cover the screams
No television shows can hide the voices it seems
I'm sitting in my bed, with my hands over my head, wishing this was all just a dream
I'm sitting in my bed, with my hands over my head, wishing this was all just a dream

Silence is the loudest thing that's ever filled my head
The voices telling, yelling at me I should be dead
Silence is the loudest thing that's ever filled my head
When's it gonna stop?
"Never," they said,
"You're better off dead."

If someone put a gun to my head
I'd gladly pull the trigger
'Cause when you're already dead inside
There's nothing else to live for
You'd be doing me a favour
Literally blowing my mind
By showing me a piece of what's on the inside
A mess I must confess a little bit twisted
Yes I get it, I'll admit it
I'm just a little bit weird
Oh dear but

In this day and age aren't we all a little bit strange?
And the voices we are all starting to hear
In this day and age aren't we all a little bit strange?
And the voices we are all starting to hear

Silence is the loudest thing that's ever filled my head
The voices telling, yelling at me I should be dead
Silence is the loudest thing that's ever filled my head
When's it gonna stop?
"Never," they said,
"You're better off dead."

They say jump from that window sill
We won't catch you but the ground will
Jump from that window sill
We won't catch you but the ground will
Jump from that window sill
We won't catch you but the ground will





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Clendening, Anna That Wasn't Me, That Was Patricia Comments
  1. Eleanor Ravengirl

    this needs to be in spotify

  2. Luna Moonlight 69

    I use to make memes about the name Patricia I think that’s how it spelled

  3. Serena Manna

    When I was 14/15/16 I hated myself and I thought I wanted to die.
    I was suffering from selfharm and I attempted suicide. This is one of the songs I listened to the most because it made me feel less alone.
    Now I'm 18. I recovered. I am loved. And I can feel that I want to have my life in my hands, I want to study, work, be someone and suffer but with the consolation that I will always find some to stay with: myself.
    U can do it, always.
    (Hope u understand what I'm saying through my bad English)

  4. Simon Sangster

    If you know you know some never will

  5. Ida Karlsson

    Put this on Spotify please!😭♥️

  6. Aaron Coverdel

    Anna please why isn't this song on Spotify?

  7. Emma Stringa

    I think there's something in my eye 😭 wait no I'm just crying 😭🤩 2019!!

  8. ashley allison

    please upload to Spotify💓💓

  9. Zoya Kamran

    She's going through a lot,She's one of the strongest person I know.💜

  10. Ems Gabriel

    PATRICIAAAA..

  11. Tracy Olson

    “ShMe in You”

  12. Tracy Olson

    This was sent to me

  13. Bay Kay

    I feel this song soooo much it is the story of my life... but i think the song should be called “the voices”

  14. risk2727

    2019 ❤️

  15. Juanita Teeter

    This song was made for me😭

  16. Just Jolly Jilly

    Please put this on Spotify

  17. Ellie Largent

    I’m not the only one who thought of the Vine right?

  18. isabelle X

    "when you're already dead inside, there's nothing else to live for" never related more tbh

  19. Caitlin's life

    Who on earth is Patricia?????

  20. Tota Alkhaldi

    😢😢😢😢😢😢

  21. nemebitch sis

    you're absolutely amazing:) so glad i found your music, i hope you'll come to Poland, love u🖤☺️

  22. Morgnificent MUA

    I want this on Spotify please. <3

  23. Kristina Washington

    I just love her music!!!

  24. Tanya Ryan

    Is the title related to split ?

  25. Violet Heer

    Wow! Girl you are amazingly powerful ✨

  26. Ann Littleton

    I feel like this rn. Nothing seems to be going right....

  27. Akela Haynes

    A few days ago I told my friends if someone put a gun to my head I would tell them to shoot me. Im just hearing about this song and when I heard what she said I said "Does everyone feel that way."

  28. Olivia Karasch

    Wooow... Depressing.

  29. LordSos91

    Bpd the illness no women or man want to deal with, bpd the disorder that's destined to live a lonely life and no one loving them or even give them support, as a man I'm realizing women rather break me down that to build me up which then causes me to feel even worst about myself chasing me for material to ghost me cuz I don't drive. As if I'm not battling enough people need or tend to cause more stress on me, even if there is no anger behind my words, I have bpd which must mean I'm crazy

  30. U ritmu dobre muzike

    I think this is your best song! Pure emotion, pure truth, pure gold.

  31. Jessica

    Yes, we are all a bit weird and I don't trust the ones who seem "normal"
    I proudly fly my freak flag. Nothing but Love, Anna <3

  32. Rachel Dellos

    When I start to over think or when I get sad I listen to this song I doubt that's a good idea because it could make it worse but it helps also because I know I'm not alone and someone else is dealing with it also

  33. Dessert Girl

    I don't understand the name...
    (Ps. I really love this song, it's amazing)

    Courtney Guffey

    Dessert Girl it’s a split reference.

  34. Jenn Stea

    Stay strong Anna you have purpose

  35. Nik Suziyanti Aida

    Hi Anna, I'm hope you're okay. We're in the same boat. take care okay? please don't OD.

  36. demonz 13

    I remember when this song first came out I couldn't stop listening to it💔

  37. Humaira Fatema

    This is the most relatable song I’ve ever heard all my life.

  38. Alexandria kennedy

    I'm so bouncy and bubbly all the time but .... I think about my own death all the time .... maybe that's why I'm so bubbly... is it weird when your like happy but deep down your always thinking about how amazing it would be to just die and not be here anymore .... the times I've tried to kill myself I wasn't crying.... I was smiling .... everytime I've cut I was laughing ..... and I literally hear voices like they have there own personalities one us really sad one is numb and one is mean .... none are good

  39. Eleanor Ravengirl

    _honestly_ *the. most. deepest.* song I've ever heard.

  40. Audrey kay

    😮 wow..Its like she wrote it for me .#babysteps #onedayAtaTIME

  41. Rachel Dellos

    This reminds me of my friend who I kept from committing suicide😢 he is still with us though so I'm glad for that

  42. Bandersnatch Airsoft

    Anna, if no one feels like they understand there are people that do. A lot of people might disagree with this post, but so be it. If you have gotten to the point that some people have, there are still people who can relate. That feeling, those voices, it will never go away. It becomes a part of you that people want to fix. They think it will magically go away through support and love. It won't, and I am sure you realize this. It gets easier, but no amount of love and support can take it away. It is a part of who we are now. All we can do is shoulder it and bury it and try to find a way forward. Even when life gets better and we think we have healed, as soon as we take a fall it will dig its way back through our souls and rip at us. A lot of people won't understand or refuse to understand. But we can still soldier on and carry our hurt even though it seems pointless. There are a lot of people out there that understand. Most people will say they do, but they really don't. We have to find the ones who do in order to really carry on. You hurt more deeply than most people could ever comprehend. At least it seems that way. We have to find happiness where we can, knowing we are ready to leave this world. We have to dig for reasons to carry on, because all of the "hope is in the air" B.S. doesn't really add up to us. My point: hang in there. There are other people who feel similar to how you feel. None of us are the same, but we all have similarities. Keep writing awesome music. Never let that go. You'll find the people you can relate to.

  43. Itsmepuxx

    Omg a good song that i just knew!

  44. Siri ;

    When you are already dead inside there's nothing left to live for

  45. es oh

    This is so incredible. Thank you so much for sharing this. It and you are so beautiful and so inspiring.

  46. Rama Ali

    ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

  47. TheGreedGamer

    Would be nice if this were on Spotify. It's a beautiful song on itself.

  48. Любовь Любовь

    Очень красивый голос😊

  49. Jenna Owens

    I have so much self hate I just want everything to stop

  50. tl Owens

    @anna
    Thank you for your beautiful words and strength. I struggled a long time and now I feel I’m getting better. I think your beautiful words have helped in some way. I will continue to support you keep up the good work

  51. Adorable_Muffin_27

    I love your music, but all these "sad" songs are worrying me, I hope you're okay. Maybe make a happy song to reassure me 😣

  52. Sam

    Is this on Spotify?

  53. Itz_ya_girl_Faith *

    I tried killing myself a couple weeks ago and then got sent to the emergency room and got sent to the psych ward.... 😓😢I feel like I’m a fake pretending to be okay when really all I want to do is scream and tell the world that I’m hurting still I’m not better but people think I am😔😣

    Sasha Martinez

    You will get better, we all do. Do not give up on yourself, you're worth it.

    Itz_ya_girl_Faith *

    Sasha Martinez thank you❤️

    Sasha Martinez

    Anytime :)

  54. Katerina Rodokanaki

    Reminds me of split

  55. M. Stover

    My most recent suicide attempt was 2 nights ago...then I found this song...its the last thing I have

  56. Eliterae

    Does anyone know why that's the name of the song?

  57. kyle Nelson

    can i mae acover of this song ?

  58. A'Shotiara Brown

    Can feel this song

  59. Antrajenda Cristina

    damn... my heart is breaking....

  60. Dimpleddanand blueeyedphil

    Honestly this describes how I’ve been feeling. About 2 years ago in 6th grade I almost attempted suicide. I ended up getting the help I needed thankfully but here I am 2 years later getting those thoughts back. I’m fighting and trying to win this fight but I’m slowly losing hope again.

  61. Vincent Wuttke

    This is very relatable. We have Dissociative Identity Disorder. It can be very difficult and iscolating. Thank you for releasing works of art like this, and putting the hotline in the description.

  62. Gotdangucrzy

    That was Patricia, is that a “SPLIT” reference ?

  63. Kennedy Walsh Brazil

    I'm having a panic attack right now,Thank you for this song

  64. A'Tianna Marie

    "When's it gonna stop?
    'Never' they said.
    'You're better off dead.'"

  65. K P

    You are an inspiration, thank you

  66. Rainbow_Badger Boo

    I relate to this song on so many levels

  67. A'Tianna Marie

    I've never related to a song more. This and 1-800-273-8255 by Logic. It's sad that I have the suicide hotline memorized though.

  68. pagidocious

    Beautiful voice for a heavy topic. Well done!

  69. Shistar Tea

    "If someone put a gun to my head
    I'd gladly I pull the trigger
    Cause when your already dead inside
    There's nothing else to live for" (1:26)

    That really hit me.

  70. Izzy Pescadero

    So there right now

  71. Jacy bo Kilner

    800th comment

  72. Keyarah Lee

    Why is the title that?

    ishia

    its a reference from a movie about split personalities

  73. Alicia Little

    I love this, this is my go to

  74. Bradley Stevenson

    Didn't the description say something about how she was okay before? Like to not worry? I dunno if I'm remembering that wrong, I hope I'm just being paranoid and its nothing

  75. Britta Stans

    Please add this to Spotify!!! I need this

  76. AnythingIWannaBe

    Can we get this on iTunes pleeeeease I need this song

  77. Aubrey Tolnai

    I really hope you put this on spotify!!

  78. The One And Only Patricia

    I just love this song!! But.... what is up with me?

  79. Madelyn Guthrie

    I should take the advice that my peers give me I should just die goodbye

  80. fiesta_ boi

    Love this so much

  81. Dakota Baker

    really wish this was on spotify because i want to listen to it on repeat all the time. ugh

  82. Liam James Skylar

    The scariest place that I've ever been
    Is in my own head around 2 AM
    The room it will spin and I'll feel sick
    My chest it'll heave and I cannot breathe
    I'm panicking, frantically, so depressed, manically
    Pop a few pills to maybe do the trick

    'Cause no amount of music can cover the screams
    No television shows can hide the voices it seems
    I'm sitting in my bed, with my hands over my head, wishing this was all just a dream
    I'm sitting in my bed, with my hands over my head, wishing this was all just a dream

    Silence is the loudest thing that's ever filled my head
    The voices telling, yelling at me I should be dead
    Silence is the loudest thing that's ever filled my head
    When's it gonna stop?
    "Never," they said,
    "You're better off dead."

    If someone put a gun to my head
    I'd gladly pull the trigger
    'Cause when you're already dead inside
    There's nothing else to live for
    You'd be doing me a favour
    Literally blowing my mind
    By showing me a piece of what's on the inside
    A mess I must confess a little bit twisted
    Yes I get it, I'll admit it
    I'm just a little bit weird
    Oh dear but

    In this day and age aren't we all a little bit strange?
    And the voices we are all starting to hear
    In this day and age aren't we all a little bit strange?
    And the voices we are all starting to hear

    Silence is the loudest thing that's ever filled my head
    The voices telling, yelling at me I should be dead
    Silence is the loudest thing that's ever filled my head
    When's it gonna stop?
    "Never," they said,
    "You're better off dead."

    They say jump from that window sill
    We won't catch you but the ground will
    Jump from that window sill
    We won't catch you but the ground will
    Jump from that window sill
    We won't catch you but the ground will

  83. Carley Morgan

    You named her Patricia.

  84. Lucas RL

    Amazing Music luv all the words . I have been suffering for anxiety almost 6 years its horrible! But you inspire I thanks for existing people like you!

  85. Amt tuck

    i need this on spotify!!!!!❤️❤️❤️

  86. Kai & Bella

    What's the guitar chords for this anna xxx

  87. Agnes Bu

    MY NAME IS PATRICIA AHHHHHHHHH

  88. el Johnson

    I just found your channel and I have been listening to only your stuff for like three days now. I wish I found this last year when I really needed your music but it still helps me thank you. you are definitely meant to be heard. and here. so glad you got into music...

  89. Madeline B.

    Thank you for your music. I feel like I can really connect with you.

  90. Marissa Buser

    giving the fact that I have tried to commit suicide three times in my lifetime, songs like this are great because they feel relatable

  91. Charity G

    Unbelievably inspiring, touching...singing, healing. Thank you for your courage in your sharing through music; so much darkness misunderstood and so much beauty in the song. That is the light, you are a light, helping others to see and be. Grateful for you.

  92. Taylor Brown

    This song is beautiful ❤❤

  93. Roslyn Atudoroae

    no there's no brighter days

  94. Kayla Blankenship

    This song absolutely kills me. I've been struggling with suicidal thoughts and depression for a very long time. My first killed himself. So did my best friend. I don't know what to do anymore.

  95. Little Rose isabel

    I have really bad depression and really bad anxiety. Your music helps me so much. I've tried to kill myself so much times with pills and cutting a little too deep. But three of my friends and my bf always stop me. I'm three days clean but I have urges to pick my blades back up and start to cut again. I love your music so much. I can't stop replying it. It is so relatable to me and my bf.

  96. Sterre Pikaar

    Someone understands the title?

  97. Lotus Monet

    I... Can....Relate

  98. Vicaro Music

    Wow feels like this song goes straight through my soul. So super stunning ♥♥♥

  99. Alyssa Martin

    I FUCKING love you Anna!!!!!

  100. Abaynesh Pianna Mc Ilvenny

    you're so good omg