Calhoun, Adam - Dying Lyrics

Oh I think I'm dying
I will [?]
Oh I think I'm dying
I wish I was all around
Oh I think I'm dying

I'm gonna keep it real, whatcha know about takin' pills
Poppin' these xan-, panic attacks
Losin' my mind, feel like I'm dyin', ha
I can't believe what I'm sayin'
You thinkin' I'm playin', I'm diggin' my grave right now
I'm crazy, you'd probably kill yourself
If you knew the shit that I was thinkin' about, ha ha
How can I breathe, cuttin' my sleeve
I'm watchin' it bleed
Maybe that will take the pain away
No more rainy days
You talkin' to me?
Just let me be, I need some sleep
Why you think I cut so deep?
You'll never see what's underneath
Please I need some peace

I'm gonna keep it real, I'm gonna speak how I feel
When I'm drivin' feel like swearvin' the wheel
Right and a left, you think that I'm playin'
I'm treatin' every song, I'm writtin' my will, yeah
This one right here's for everyone out there that's like me battle depression
Been to hell and back and I can tell that I go back and just can't learn my lesson
Coutin' my blessin's but suck at the math
So every blessin' I keep cuttin' in half
So all of my problems keep addin' up
While my solutions keep cuttin' in half, yeah, yeah, yeah
Know that they hate me, they say that they love me
Don't call me crazy but I need the company
So fuck with me though, yeah

Oh I think I'm dying
I will [?]
Oh I think I'm dying
I wish I was all around
Oh I think I'm dying

I'm gonna keep it a mil, last year I made a million
Still it ain't change how I feel
Still fuckin' with the same bottle of pills
Went from my brothers basement to a house with no payments
And dealin' with fuckers that I wanna kill
I gotta chill, I don't know how
I wish you could feel, what I'm talkin' about
I'm all by myself, talkin' out loud
No one can help, I feel like I'm drowin', ha ha
Shit is so cold, I'm losin' control
I'm losin' my soul, but I know I never sold it, no
Devil must have stole it, yeah
And that motherfucker is gonna have to deal with me
If I go to hell I'm takin' over

I'm gonna keep it a secret, I ain't gon' tell nobody about these thoughts that are creepin' into my mind
So you think that I'm fine
You think I'm cryin' wolf when I say that I'm dyin', ah
I ain't gon' tell nobody that I'm scared of keepin' guns in the house
I ain't gon' tell nobody that I actually put guns in my mouth
Fuck you know about
Russian roulette with a loaded gun
Handle of vodka and still ain't drunk
I cannot tell nobody that I'm suicidal, no I just keep it bottled up
Bottle of pills are the [?] razor play, [?]
Cross my heart hope to die, jump in [?]
No I'm not fuckin' playin', [?]
Thinkin' it's just a game 'til I blow out my fuckin' brains

Oh I think I'm dying
I will [?]
Oh I think I'm dying
I wish I was all around
Oh I think I'm dying

Other Lyrics by Artist

Rand Lyrics

Calhoun, Adam Dying Comments
  1. Zacc Keglee

    This song is for all of us that carry the weight of the world on our shoulders and smile on our face, just because we carry it well doesn’t mean it isn’t heavy

  2. Cammeron White

    Calhoun, Face page . Will add " a preview" with my post. That's the message I just recieved. 😂 love you guys.

  3. Stumpy Devil

    This song speaks truth for me I am a father being alienated from his kids as I am recovering from a amputation.. Stay strong everyone who is suffering

  4. E B

    I'm a Polish woman living in the UK. I love blues and rock. I love the music that makes me feel most.
    This is heart is pounding and I'm wide awake. It's past 1am in here. This song hits me deep. Shadows of my own thoughts are screaming straight to my mind. Showing me/my fear. But I'm not gonna run. I'm home. ..instead I'm gonna play it again.
    And it doesn't even matter, what genre of music I listen to on daily basis.
    And what brought me my little research on Marshall's music.
    Real people, real emotions, real music.
    I respect and thank you for that.

  5. rebecca Cross

    I feel this song to my soul yo #CREEKSQAUD Hillbilly

  6. George True


  7. mizzouxc

    Anytime someone doesn't get veteran PTSD and what I deal with, I send them to this song. Thank you Adam.

  8. Kayla Hill

    Late finding this but it’s still amazing


    Finally the two beards are in one song!!!!!

  10. flats assassin

    Bruh this shit is straight 🔥🔥👌

  11. Matthews & Mathews

    590 dislikes on this ! I knew there was a lot of a-holes out their. but I didn't think that many. I'll bet the family farm that if you could track every single one of them down they're all ignorant unpatriotic P.O.S. Pu$$!(-$

  12. Chris Owen

    Damn I can't believe I just found this. I love you A.Cal. No homo

  13. Relleck

    Is Adam a veteran because I feel this dude 100%


    no he dind't serve but his son does


    My God,, he knows.
    If this hit home check out Tom McDonald's spoken word & Fallen Angel but these guys nailed it.

  15. Justin Maupin

    I served time in Hamilton county, Cincnnati, Ohio. Were you the bitch nigga that tried to phase me in that haunted house talkin about where you from. Ima see yo ass again.


    is that a threat towards adam

    Justin Maupin

    Believe me I'm not scared of adam.

  16. Real Raw and Random

    Holy shit!!

  17. Donnae Sanders

    That beat fire... and he spit'n hella bars!

  18. Lyart Bane

    How did I not know about this ? Its absolute fire !

  19. Donnie Busch

    People that dislike this eat a dick

  20. Patricia Harris

    Ok now I feel like we are family we are from the same world you are a good guy just little ruff on edges but that keeps it interesting. 😁💓

  21. James Hoffman

    Truth story

  22. Sarah Williams

    STILL 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

  23. Simply Jess

    This song hit my soul!!!!! 🤟🏻🤟🏻🤟🏻🤟🏻❤️❤️
    The thoughts inside your head that you can’t put into words because everyone thinks your crazy!!!!!

  24. AllDale BreaksLoose

    My brother put a gun in his mouth when he was a teenager. He was listening to Metallica “Fade To Black”. I love Metallica so don’t take me wrong. I just can’t listen to that song anymore. He had that gun in his mouth and he said God spoke to him and told him he had a plan for him and that he needed him here. A couple of years after that, he became a minister. A lot of things have happened since then and he’s still ordained but rarely preaches anywhere, but his faith is still the same. I don’t even want to imagine my life without him. My mother attempted suicide around the same time. Depression is just part of our family unfortunately. My wife suffers from it as well. It’s real and it’s absolute hell.

  25. Mike Cash

    My day to day. Gotta stop asking why and talk. Thanks for this.

  26. _D_Loera


  27. Christian Carroll

    Well that was deep asf

  28. Noah Haines

    Y'all hit me in the heart with this one man . I batte depression everyday of my life and have been for a long time now . You're not the only ones . I'm fightin right alongside bros . Keep it positive . Much love and respect for both Adam Calhoun and Mesus .

  29. Boss Hogg

    This song keeps me from eating hollow points everyday. Thanks for that extra push I need ta get threw today

  30. Rickey Ortutay

    Mesus Christ! This is🔥🔥

  31. Amy Himmel

    The line about being scared to keep guns in the house hits me hard, cuz that's me. I want one for protection, but I'm legit scared of myself with a gun those days that I just cant seem to cope.

  32. Me Is Meee


  33. DJdaBOSS 420

    More plez 😅🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

  34. Steven cannon

    This song hits home so much, living with demons from PTSD depression and the loss of brothers in Iraq this is legit how I feel all the time

    Liam Dodoveci

    Steven cannon all the best man

    Anthony Chesery

    Let the King bring you center my good man walk with the power in you to be you. Praying for you

  35. R.L. Hipp

    God these two together are magic. More please. Please!!!

  36. TheMadPat

    damn this hits me hard man fuck

  37. Felipe Ahumada

    Wtf!!!!! Savage

  38. kurt miller

    This song is dope . Adam you need to do more joints with Mesus man . Keep these joints coming and I'll keep bumping them .

  39. Urban Anglah617

    This guy is 🔥

  40. D. Simpson

    How TF am I a fan of both Adam and Mesus and didn't know this song existed until just now? How TF did a track about depression manage to be so 🔥🔥🔥🔥?? Good Lord, a bomb-a$$ track AND a humanitarian message wrapped up on one. Hell of an honest way of tellin' MF'ers they're not alone in their struggles.

  41. Colin Sullivan

    Bro.. this is absolute fucking fire 🔥🔥

  42. AR15cuz BlackGunsMATTER

    And I thought Adam had an epic beard. Lol, sorry Adam, you just slid into 2nd place

  43. MV7PITBULL 1

    Tuff then a mafacca

  44. MV7PITBULL 1

    Chi town white boys...gotta love em

  45. Shell Bell

    Damn been in this exact same place. Never came across someone that would be open in honest talking about it until now

  46. Mr. baguette

    damn this song slaps hard

  47. John 117 Master Chief

    Bra this shit fire how has it not blown up yet

  48. Heather Repsher

    Bearded lives matter...

  49. Round Mound Of Rebound

    Wish he would od

  50. Round Mound Of Rebound

    Ffs this is trash....this Calhoun clown needs to stop

  51. Nightcore Asylum

    They look like Erick Rowan and Luke Harper.

  52. Jesse Reacts

    I am perplexed.... how is this NOT BEING PROMOTED! This MESSAGE needs to be heard by the masses

    D. Simpson

    Real $hit don't get promoted in today's media environment.

  53. Madeline Franklin

    Thank y’all for this. Mental illness still has a stigma attached to it. Songs and representations like this bring to light our struggles and shows that there are many of us. We are not something to be ashamed of. 💚

  54. Saiful sKiNo the Beatmaker Hip-Hop/Trap/R&B

    yo!! when did Luke Harper and Erik Rowan rapped? lol shit's TUFF!!!

  55. Lindsay salinas

    Love this.... I battle depression n anxiety so bad I get disability money for it. So these songs I totally understand. Good song bro 🔥🔥🔥

  56. rick nichol


  57. Sim Bo

    I want more.

  58. Sim Bo

    Fukn aye !

  59. Chris Bowles

    This song is on my daily play list.. fighting depression everyday..people who don't have no damn clue..much love!!!

  60. CJ Bush

    Can we pls get some more Calhoun/Mesus colab!!!!

  61. Adolfo Artigas

    Fuego 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

  62. PerpetualSunbro

    jesus christ, this is too real right now.

  63. tristan tobar

    As I sit in my car with my bottle of pills no one knows how I feel hard to sit still couldn't stay Netflix n chill fuck my veins what's that time to kill bloody razor making me I'll time for another pill open the bottle pour it out and spill

  64. Christian Carroll

    This hit hard asf

  65. ronte Peebles

    Man the Everyday struggle dealing with anxiety and depression. It help me knew that I'm not the one that going through it. Ty

  66. Zozo ZIZI

    Holy mother !!! this is Dope !! ... since 02.01.2019 ? how come i didn't hear this Shit before ? i am suprised.. !

  67. Jon Certain

    F""k all that Katie crap. HollaIN CREEK SQUAD

  68. Jon Certain

    Now i feel better.CREEK SQUAD

  69. metalhead heathen

    How tf am I just now hearing g this song a year later


    big TRUE

    White Boy

    Idk man but this song is lit

    Damon Gates

    Right!! I feel the same

  70. Shirley Allen

    I have probably listened to this a dozen times. I've been trolling for reactions cuz it's like that's it! They nailed it! And wat I kno about that is...u can't kno it ...unless u live it. So thank u. #respect

  71. Meredith Grubb

    Ive never ever heard any other artist describe what ive been thru like this. Theyve tried but its never the same. This is some real shit.

  72. Dwight DeVille

    When I was 21 years old I put a pistol to my temple and pulled the trigger, it was a dud, only burnt my temple, I took it as a sign it wasn't my time, I had many great years after that that I was glad I lived. Don't let depression rob you of your future and times to come.

    Madeline Franklin

    Thank you for being here


    i know a dude that blew off his entire lower jaw with a shotgun and lived.. his life is worse now than it was before.


    Damn.. Experienced a dead round before, but never one that was still able to cause a projected powder ignition without projecting the bullet. Wonder how that's possible. 🤔

    Dwight DeVille

    @Guts Well it happened I have a scar from it

    Dwight DeVille

    @ih8TrumpTardzz Man Im sorry to hear that, I hope dude finds peace and happiness someday

  73. David Fales

    I personally think this is your best song I love this song

  74. Dwight Spits

    I would love to see how MC Serch would react around guys like Calhoun, Mesus, or UpChurch. Serch made a career out of clowning other white mc’s.... thinking he could be down with the culture by acting disgusted with all things white. I think these 3 would have Serch shitting his pants and begging to be left alone.

  75. Meredith Grubb

    God this is fucking fire

  76. Jon Dough

    Bearded Bandits

  77. Jon Dough


  78. jlb9133

    Wish both these dudes, Upchurch and Demun Jones would go on tour together!!

  79. Suzie Higby

    Fuuuuuuck’n 😮 my fingers are still smoking 🔥🔥🔥

  80. Glen Surles

    I cant tell them apart, not looks but style of rap and voice, no disrespect. Love both of their work

  81. Wayne Juricic


  82. Allerim Z.

    Wow!! This song just reached out & grabbed my soul!!
    God bless you Men for your raw honesty.

  83. Ronny Hushovd

    This song!!❤️❤️❤️

  84. Tiffany Schoenbaum


  85. Tennessee Native

    This song is so true I’m 15 and deal with this shit but all I can do is push it behind me and push forward.

  86. Josh Smith

    Dealing with the same shit. Keep keeping it real adam and ryan support you guys to the fullest!

  87. Shirley Allen

    I just love u man. U talk about shit so many of us deal with. I get called crazy all the time. I just just smile and laugh as I think...if u only fuckin knew. #Respect bro

  88. Tawny Pettigrew

    Dear LOURDES!! Everything you mention has made me feel I am not crazy nor alone with this state of mind.I am the same non one gets it no one understands which makes you feel even more crazy!! It's a fucked up place too be when the ones who LOVE you can't even listen or try to understand a thing you have to aint even 10% of the shit that goes on 24/7 in my head, I can't even get any relief of what inside of my head cause my head hits the pillow here it comes again but in another place dimension not even sure what it really is only thing I know when I wake up I feel like I need to sleep again just to get a break from this bullshit that makes me crazy on a daily inside my head. Whhoaa!! THANK YOU THANK YOU! For this! I am crying tears that have needed to even shredded a long time ago!💙💥✌🙌👍💓

  89. Scott Robichaud

    AMHI class member fuck you 100%

  90. Brandon Morgan


  91. Brandon Morgan

    @Adam Calhoun Bro I think the same exact way it is so fucking hard to not snap. I have been in your shoes when it comes to the Xan's and I know the struggle is real my dude. Thank you for showing strength. White men have a bad image cuz everyone in Hollywood is soft as a feather. Dude your music goes hard as fuck. Well done! I'm pushing your music to all corners of the Earth.

  92. Sydney McDonough

    Swear it's like y'all are in my head!!!

    Sydney McDonough

    Lost my Dad almost a year ago (December 15th 2018) and my baby girl is 3 years old and she's the only one who makes this life worth living anymore other than Upchurch, Adam and Demun! Y'all keep me strong so thank you!!!

  93. jwards1974

    Come to Columbus and spit that shit bro.

  94. AmphibiousWarrior573

    Wow, that last verse from Mesus.
    I had to sit and think for minute. I mean, I'm not all, but I felt the pain in that verse. And why does Mesus have less than 200 subscribers on his channel?

    Shane Bivens

    No clue... cause dude spits fire!


    @Shane Bivens Well that subscriber list sure changed in a hurry. Thank you Nick Cannon.

  95. páûl killa

    Adam...... don't do anything stupid....I look up to you and church............. I've never met you but if I did I'd give you the biggest hug I've given

  96. OnlineComrade 57

    I could honestly die to this song. Truly beautiful peace of work.

  97. Trjanne Rothrock

    This song hits so close to my soul...

  98. Laura Bonnell

    People dislikes this video they no nothing hearing good music.

  99. Owen Nunn

    Whats sad is we have kids with the same thoughts. I'm medicated for mine and they dont seem to be working. I cant explain how many tears i've fought. Ive told my dad what i've been thinking and the thoughts i've had daily and all he could manage to say is "So do I" man, Made me cry. I'm almost 16 and scared as hell to get behind the wheel. Maybe I can stop all the pain I feel. I dont wanna think this way. Hopefully it'll all go away some day. Adams' over here spitting some bars, I'm over here regretting giving myself scars. Aight. I tried to turn that into some bars but it didnt work. But everything I said is true. Thank you Adam and if you read this show it to Upchurch too because both of y'all help me out of that dark place when my meds cant. Upchurch being honest and funny as hell as well as having FIRE bars and you, Adam, For being the realest, most genuine person that isnt afraid to touch on subject like this one and speak your mind. Restores my hope in humanity having y'all here. Love you skins.