Bull, Dan - Wiggly Willy Lyrics




My full name's Cheltenham D.G.L.B. Digby
My diet consists strictly of single malt whisky
I'm particularly sesquipedalian
I've not published a single literary failure
And I'd speculate that's mainly thanks to the fact
That I don't even write books, I just rap
Trust that I'm a distinguished linguist
Whose voice's weapon of choice is English
A rhythm wrecking rhetorician, getting recognition
For the fact that I'm swagger's dictionary definition
On first look, you're ready for a second listen
I took your sister to third base, cherry picking
Heavy hitting, yet with incredible erudition
It's a travesty you haven't seen me rapping on your television

I'm Cheltenham "Douglby" Digby
My witty words make your willy feel all wiggly
I'm Cheltenham "Douglby" Digby
If folk don't dig me, they don't know diddly

Allow the grime scene for the time being
I turn the G into a C: crime scene
I'm the nightmare to come and wreck your nice dream
I'll open up your top like a double decker sightseeing
I ripped the Rolex off of Wiley
And now I wear it in my jacket pocket by my tie, see?
I'm the reason that your wife's seen the dry cleaner
Imbibing my seed like Ribena
I'll livestream it widescreen
As she lies, semen smeared on her cheeks like a child eating ice cream
She might need a new dress; Lewinsky
I'm going mental on your crew's set; Klaus Kinski
I'll kick your mumsy in the mimsy with an air of whimsy
Then throw her down the stairs like a slinky

I'm Cheltenham "Douglby" Digby
My witty words make your willy feel all wiggly
I'm Cheltenham "Douglby" Digby
If folk don't dig me, they don't know diddly

Give me a mo, bro; Digby
Will make your ho go giggly, oh so quickly
The po-po tried to photofit me
I simply did this and they let me go: victory
I don't have any history, lathered in mystery
Someone phone Agatha Christie
My breath smells of a packet of Wrigley's
Mixed with whatever the hell my tobacconist gives me
I'll piggyback on the back of a pygmy
Screaming "quickly, quickly" while I'm jabbing his kidneys
From the Indies to Sydney and in between
A Cold War submarine is my limousine
A libertine with the sympathy of Mr Bean
A prick that means to to be inflammatory so bring your antihistamines
I'm Mister Meanness, I bring a list of misdemeanours
Bigger than your sister's penis; how pissed the scene is
Just switch your speakers off if you're squeamish
I've completed treatises and theses on faeces
I'm the bee's knees; pollenating on the daily
I leave seeds upon a range of lovely ladies
I ram raided Hades with a Mercedes
Camera in the deceased's faces: "say cheese"
I'm from a place of make believe, and now I'm real
Slightly hallucinatory is how I feel
Thou art kneeling before me; raw meat
Ready to be churned and then turned into corned beef
Balls deep in the rhythm like a porn scene
And jisming, it's beginning to get a bit like Wall Street
With all the greed I'm growing taller than a broad bean
Drag you to the park folded in half like a lawn seat

I'm Cheltenham "Douglby" Digby
My witty words make your willy feel all wiggly
I'm Cheltenham "Douglby" Digby
If folk don't dig me, they don't know diddly





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Bull, Dan Wiggly Willy Comments
  1. Breaker X

    It's been almost 2 years. Broc Bars 4 should be the first Dan Bull video in 2020.

  2. Elite Salad

    This song is actually op a danbull

  3. My jokes aren't funny

    "So why does everyone like you so much?"
    *Pulls out broccoli and microphone*

  4. Thug Life

    So underrated love his song

  5. Row Blanka

    could you make another one of these theyre such a damn joy, extraordinary lyrics i know this one didnt generate as much clicks, but its soo damn good.

  6. Chris Skuller

    We need some more Broccoli Bars!

  7. Macabre Derek

    We need to get Dan a shipment of Brocccoli again!

  8. Justin Clardie

    I don't have a sister sooooo.. I'm still scared but..

  9. Brian Mahony

    why Douglby i was in fact ready for a second listen after watching this video the first time

  10. cory cooper

    I still listen to this song a couple times a week
    unff pure flex on this track with the linguistics

  11. Dawson Spencer

    More broccoli and bars please danbull.

  12. Bow Boi

    My sister is 3 but ok if that's your thing dan

  13. Deadland Placebo

    What genre is this

  14. Stormfist 101

    Jollly good show!A chip off the old block old chum!

  15. elliyas jones

    dan please pick a rapper any rapper big or small take a very VERY large bite of that broccoli and lets see a rap feud to end them all

  16. Zimtschock

    How did I only just notice that the beat is the pornhub intro?

  17. Shhh Sleep Now

    Oh god more broccoli.

  18. Unwanted Soup

    It’s almost time again sir

  19. the bidoof theories

    Dougbly should be dfissed jacksfilms

  20. Charlotte Searle

    Didn't think it was possible but this is actually even better than the other broccoli bars!

  21. Thug Life

    He is so underrated best rapper in the world man must read the dictionary like its the bible

  22. FBI

    Rolex second hands don't tick per second; I'm pretty sure it's either 8 or 16 ticks per second, making the movement of the hand much more smooth than the animation.

  23. Chris Skuller

    Dan, it's long past due for another Broccoli Bars. You know what else? This is the 666th comment on this song so clearly Satan agrees with me.

  24. yankstar

    he doesnt cook broccoli
    he set em on fire dude..

  25. Ry8ean

    Its been too long Dan, we need Doughlby Digby back again... more!

  26. Thug Life

    This guy could shit all over every rapper theses bars are like a titan on steroids

  27. Fuyu Paradigm

    I want more Broccoli Bars Dan bull

  28. The WubMeister

    Did this get demonetised?

  29. ENDER KNIGHT

    BROCCOLI! 9.9/10

  30. Thug Life

    So sick

  31. Ulysses.orozco

    My full name's Cheltenham D.G.L.B. Digby
    My diet consists strictly of single malt whisky
    I'm particularly sesquipedalian
    I've not published a single literary failure
    And I'd speculate that's, mainly thanks to the fact
    That I don't even write books, I just rap
    Trust that, I'm a distinguished linguist
    Whose voice's weapon of choice is English
    A rhythm wrecking rhetorician, getting recognition
    For the fact that I'm swagger's dictionary definition
    On first look, you're ready for a second listen
    I took your sister to third base, cherry picking
    Heavy hitting, yet with incredible erudition
    It's a travesty you haven't seen me rapping on your television

    I'm Cheltenham "Douglby" Digby
    My witty words make your willy feel all wiggly
    I'm Cheltenham "Douglby" Digby
    If folk don't dig me, they don't know diddly

    Allow the grime scene for the time being
    I turn the G into a C: crime scene
    I'm the nightmare to come and wreck your nice dream
    I'll open up your top like a double-decker; sightseeing
    I ripped the Rolex off of Wiley (yoink!)
    And now I wear it in my jacket pocket by my tie, see?
    I'm the reason that your wife's seen the dry cleaner
    Imbibing my seed like Ribena
    I'll livestream it; widescreen
    As she lies, semen smeared on her cheeks like a child eating ice cream
    She might need a new dress; Lewinsky
    I'm going mental on your crew's set; Klaus Kinski
    I'll kick your mumsy in the mimsy with an air of whimsy
    Then throw her down the stairs like a slinky

  32. Fuyu Paradigm

    We need more Broccoli bars Dan the Man mad bull

  33. nick sano

    we need more broccoli bars

  34. Internet Person

    There's a character from a game that I stylized while listening to this song. I think you rubbed off on him

  35. EternalHours

    This makes me really sad that rap didn’t really exist in old timey high English society. Posh Poms Pwn

  36. Harvey Sullivan

    I live in Cheltenham but my willy doesn't feel wiggly, what am I doing wrong?

  37. DarkRhapsody129

    More Broccoli Bars! Too long between these.

  38. CallmeFrostie

    Douglby should go against other popular personalities like darkiplier( just an example)

  39. Cory Nathan

    Just out of curiosity, what does your partner think about multiple references to woman wanting the D-ouglby?
    I know its all in good humor and I love it but i just wonder if she looks at you sideways sometimes haha =]

  40. SpecHimOut

    Love your lyricism dan, you are easily up there with the great wordsmiths of our time. Tbh your basically eminem to us brits xD

  41. JabZ

    Probably one of the most thought out raps in history

  42. Kevin Cruz

    it's unfair that's the words mature and nature don't rhyme even though there's only one difference between them.

  43. SMUGGG

    Looks like slim shady i like it

  44. Blake's District

    No don't do it! I'm a virgin!

  45. Something Somewhere

    I had to buy some Trojan condoms and put them on my ears.

  46. Dragonmage 161

    Klaus Kinski

  47. Gman _Origin

    This has been bothering me for months but in your song you said "I took your sister to third base, cherry picking"and later in the song you say that my sister has a penis. What do you mean by this?

  48. Jonny boi

    The end was my favorite

  49. JetStreat Eagle

    Broccoli Bars 2 on 12 January 2017.
    Broccoli Bars 3 on 17 January 2018.
    Sooooooo...January 2019? Maybe a 4th?

  50. Louthinator

    I honestly miss the brutal, in your face style of the first broccoli bars, wrecking on everyone.

  51. SilentLaughter

    Ive been a huge Stupendium fan and after hearing him talk about you I decided to check you out. I could not have picked better videos to start with than your Broccoli Trilogy. Love this character!

  52. Madly Is Sadly

    What a cunning linguist.

  53. Possibly Stappert

    I'll never understand why this has so few views

  54. WannabeSpaceman

    This is chap-hop in it's purest form

    Please make more songs this dignified

  55. InstrucTube

    I really need more of these, but I don't want you to not have money, so... dunno, but I love your stuff Dan!

  56. Broken Beakers

    This song makes my willy wiggly

  57. ted rosa

    please defend net neutrality it is every internet users responsibility , that is unless your a self justifying nob

  58. Anthony D.

    Broccoli Bars 4 should be in response to Stupendium calling you out. Not just Dan Bull, but Douglby too! XD

  59. Chris Skuller

    We need more Broccoli Bars!!!

  60. cucumber fruit

    I listen to this at least once a day, it's so good. The video is amazing too.
    I'm looking forward to more like this :-)

  61. First

    Anytime I send a Dan Bull rap to some one they reply with "What is he saying?" and I am filled with a great sadness

  62. Archesyn

    This is amazingly witty, I love it.

  63. nikolaj wilcken

    more of this please'

  64. Martin Roop

    Need more Douglby

  65. Purple_ Badassery

    Best broccoli bars so far

  66. Idontgetit

    Crazy good.

  67. Michael Wilson

    Dan bill needs to be a Disney villain he sounds so intellectual it well at the same time sounding vicious and Cruel He could play that PERFECTLY on the big screen

  68. Lewis Rogers

    I missed the chance to go see Dan at a LAN called insomnia in Birmingham a year or two ago cause I was ill on that day... Think I'll regret that for a long fucking time.

  69. kennaugh3

    Honestly you are one of the best rappers alive and I listen to a fair amount of rap

  70. Delta MacK

    Oh damn that cherry picking line hits hard

  71. KrakeNRulz

    ja lake jass?

  72. Captian Itachi

    Britain's Slim Shady.

  73. Starvin' Marvin

    He's back

  74. mann co

    Well not as good as the first and second

  75. M Dogg

    2:20 hey she's one of my great great grandparents!

  76. Attila Princz

    You're such a talented rapper but it feels like you're not getting enough attention and appreciation. I'm very surprised that your channel isn't bigger. I honestly think your channel should get more attention, you're simply amazing.

  77. mancub187

    I just want to join the stroking and say you are awesome Dan hope you never stop

  78. Raisinbrand

    I was eating ice cream ;(

  79. Mighty Ash

    This reminds me of Professor Elemental

  80. TheRedPlayerSlayer

    Oh the profanity

  81. Yoann Hallé

    Awesome work !

  82. Patrick Callan

    I love this groovy track! Anywhere I can get the instrumental by its self? Along with the original of course

  83. KiwiKroissant

    There was an ERB reference for Winston churchill

  84. Chris Skuller

    Dan, you need to come out with more songs as Douglby. Seriously. Every time a new Douglby song comes out I think "There's no way he could top the last song" only to be proven wrong.

  85. Alex Kroeker

    This feels like it would fit right in with chap hop artists. I really enjoy Dan Bull's range of ability.

  86. irisheyes794

    Yo why the fuck wasn't this in my subscription feed!?

    Papa Smurf

    Same here but a fucking month later. Waht teh fack yootuub?!

  87. Chris Skuller

    God damn Dan! I'm speechless...This was absolutely amazing! Such amazing word play. My jaw is on the floor.

  88. Sunless

    never really noted this fact but
    one particulair sound that plays on during the entire song plays on exclusively in my left ear.

  89. The Shadow Network

    One day it's gonna be revealed that he really IS allergic to broccoli and it lets his alternate personality out (He's probably multiple-personality too) and these videos are a cry for help :P

  90. RTak12

    For the record, to keep form Broccoli Bars 4 must have 4 verses. Don't let us down. ;P

  91. Seriouskai

    Oh Dan, what would the world be like without people like you in it. You're such an inspiration, showing that music transcends genres, media and even time itself! Stay stronk!

  92. Possibly Stappert

    WHY DOES THIS HAVE SO FEW VIEWS?

  93. Sunless

    So much quality, it is blessing to the ears

  94. Xander Wolfsbane

    wooo a third broccoli bars video!!!!!!!! i quite enjoy

    Xander Wolfsbane

    just shows how good danbull is

  95. Beau More

    well this was something else.

  96. Helix

    dan bull saved my skin with this video, we had a spelling test today and this video taught me how to spell sesquipedalian

  97. Jordan henderson

    What happens when you eat it

  98. Tanner Harmon

    How does this not have a couple million views?

  99. motion adapt

    Dan bull better than all new American Rappers

  100. Dan Bull

    I thought I'd join all the small channels being demonetized today by uploading an utterly unmonetizeable video! Stay stronk fellow creators, stay stronk!

    Nappa TheLoveable

    Your Fucking Brilliant, Advertiser Unfriendly compliment for a Advertiser Unfriendly boss, throwing up the deuces to demonetization. Victory.

    Benjedi Agustin Diaz Ferreira

    You do have an amazing vocabulary.

    Connor Nicholson

    I got an ad...

    Hunter the Peace Lord

    B R O C C L I B A R A 4 B I T C H E S !

    Cleverfox SFM

    Because _He's Cheltenham, Douglby, Digby..._ okay i'll stop