Bull, Dan - Jacksfilms Rap Roast (Rap Roasts #5) Lyrics






Ladies and gentlemen
Give it up for Jack Douglass
What a lovely chap, goodness
Oozes from his pores
Like a cup of that bubble stuff
But the trouble is
It's tough to be too critical
On somebody so unbelievably unpolitical
It's difficult to diss a cool kid
Who still kisses his mom
And gives her calls on mother's day
Because she raised her little son
Into a well mannered
And respectable young gentleman
That represents the pinnacle
Of American parental love
You're so disgustingly pure
You must be finding it hard
To hide all that naughtiness
Behind the facade
Your time us up, brah
'Cause no one is impervious
I peel back your veneer
As if I'm skinning furvius
You're nervous
As I'm digging further deep
Into your conscience
It isn't hard to get inside a head
With such a wide circumference
Hat stuck on your skull
Are you crying or slicing onions?
Companies grease your palms
You try to hide the thumbprints
I didn't want to bring your head into it
It's been done already
But then again so has yiay
More than mom's spaghetti
I thought that KSI had a massive cranium
But yours is the reason we need
A bigger capacity stadium
I'm not even kidding about it
I'm serious mate
You could rent that fricking thing out
As real estate
In fact
I'll use it as a canvas
Now to illustrate
The story of a man
And how his fantasy realm
Would seal his fate

You wanted a roast
Well then that's something
I'm delighted to provide
Oh, Jacksfilms, man, you wanted a roast
I'll fill your cavity
With onion, sage and spice
Nice

You live a fairy tale existence
So no wonder you're called Jack
The hat fits
And that's a rare coincidence
Jack be nimble
Jack be quick
Jack be sinful
Jack be thicc
Jack be trying too hard
To act as if he isn't a nasty prick
Jack O'Lantern
Jack and Jill
Jack of spades
Acting like the master
You're the Jack of all trades
Jack Horner
Jack Sprat?
Nah
Jack's a prat
And that's a fact
I'm chopping down his beanstalk
With mean talking raps
And unlike his films
They are action packed
With an actual narrative intact
Can you imagine that?
The cracks never show
Never expose your stressful life
You're a cross between a livestreamer
And a stepford wife
You could meet a mugger
And then end up best of friends for life
And when he stabs you in the back
You'll help him twist the knife
Who is this guy?
Why's he so fricking wholesome?
I reckon his alibi
Must have a couple of holes in
He must have seen John Cena's good deeds
And stole some
Even his gang sign
Is just sticking up his old thumb
I just thank God
I'm not one of the fam squad
I'm squad fam for life, baby
Look
Check out my bank card
Even in a song like this
I make my lyrics bang hard
Give Toby a call
You're breaking that poor man's heart
And when you make a punchline
Out of saying "Finna woke"
Not all the men and womenfolk
Will get the inner joke
They'll think you're poking fun
At people of colour
Who speak in different tones and dialects
When greeting each other
My brother
You're Drake in blackface
Trouble brewing
Look at me
Spilling the hot stuff
I guess that makes me push your tea

I'm a toy maker
Putting Jack in a box
Yet you're back every Christmas
Like a packet of socks
Every time I watch you
There's this dissonant oddness
It's like if idubbbz
Switched jobs
With Mr Rogers

Act two
I'm just being honest
At you
Yiay's just reading comments
And lately
Since you instigated the adpocalypse
You've been popping clips
In your AD gun and cocking it
I spotted it
By redirecting all resentment at Felix
You were free to fire up
Your ornamental AD Helix
At first I thought my firewall connection
Badly glitched
But after more inspection
Jack
I saw your dastardly tricks

You're conspicuously absent
When catastrophe hits
Don't want to be that guy
But I have to be bich
You jump on every trending topic
Just to buck the trend
Giving rubbish more exposure
But it's OK
'Cause it's just pretend
But if you smear yourself
In doo doo ironically
You'll still be smeared in doo doo
Dude
Do you follow me?
Milking the emoji movie
Like a Sony Stooge
Oh, and Coca-Cola telecommunications?
That was Sony's too
So don't be stupid
Don't be fooled
No
It's all a phony fraud
I should call your folks up on the phone
And then disclose it all
Nobody's so pure
Jack
It's sickening to see
You need to tone it up a bit
I hope you're listening to me
Because if we're all assholes
(We're all just assholes talking to a camera)
Talking to a camera
Then I'm an asshole
Talking to an asshole
Through my camera
Nothing deceives
Like the camera can
So I dig up your hidden meanings
Through anagrams

Jack Douglass
Jugs lack soda
Adpocalypse peps cola day
Pepsi cola
Special op
I lace pops
Yesterday I asked you
Teary eyed
Soda is yuk
John Patrick Douglass
Jack uploading shorts
Josh Spurt
Cola AD king
You've been caught!
Now just to prove the conspiracy
One final anagram
Ornamental AD helix
Alexander Hamilton
Alexander Hamilton
Alexander Hamilton
What do you drink cola from?
Alexander can or tin
Any kind of product, Jack is
Alexander selling them
By spreading ADs virally
Alexander Pathogen
That's right
This gimmick track is
Alexander back again
You'll be confused
If it's something you
Alexander haven't seen
So let me clear up the
Alexander Bafflement
The format of this song's just saying
Alexander random thing
I can do this fast all day
Alexander Ramadan
Mixing letter up 'cause I'm the
Alexander Scrabble Don
You couldn't touch the bull with an
Alexander Cattle prod
I'm elmer and you're bugs
Alexander rabbit run
I've outfoxed you
Call me
Alexander basil brush
To ten farts?
You must be
Alexander Flatulent
You've been a naughty boy
I've got to
Alexander smack your bum
Oh no
He's got the hump
Shit
Alexander camel dung
You can close this window if you've
Alexander had enough
Just hold "Alt" and press the
Alexander tab button
Hey, I don't mean it Jack
Come back, we're
Alexander having fun

But come on, man
I think that's
Alexander battle won





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Bull, Dan Jacksfilms Rap Roast (Rap Roasts #5) Comments
  1. C.... A....

    Tomorrow it will be the 1st anniversary of this song.

  2. J.... M....

    I’m super close to unsubbing. Not a joke.

  3. T.... K....

    Well actually I think dans thing is his rap skills!! Anyone else agree!?!?

  4. E.... M....

    Jack's gonna have a hard time with his coke addiction when *2020* rolls around...

  5. T.... K....

    Hey! Dans thing is his rapping skills!!!

  6. C.... ....

    Dan your thing is your humor!

  7. B.... A....

    Ornamental Ad Helix? Alexander Hamilton
    What? You never played Tuber Simulator?
    creeper? aw man
    Hotel? Trivago

  8. L.... B....

    black guy just like i'm dun with life

  9. L.... B....

    you know hes british because his teeth are mess up
    whats a dentist?

  10. J.... C....

    Dan It's been almost a year now, gonna roast anyone anytime soon?

  11. Y.... F....

    “Like his life looks like a *faiwy* tale.”

  12. D.... s....

    I got one for ya Heavenly sword

  13. B.... ....

    Suck my Dick

  14. M.... M....

    5:56
    *QUENTIN TARANTINO INTENSIFIES*

  15. R.... ....

    1:30 hey what's up guys its scarce here

  16. t.... ....

    #squad fam for life every one

  17. M.... D....

    Jacksfilms the asshole
    Sponsors
    Ads every 1 second
    Loves Fortnite and Coca Cola (eddsworld?)

  18. t.... ....

    This is like a content cop but with a song at the ending

  19. 1.... S....

    RIP Jack's forehead.

  20. E.... M....

    ‘Your forehead isn’t that big and doesn’t count as a thing’
    Takes mick out of forehead

  21. f.... ....

    dont make me remember toby turner, he gone missing :c

  22. K.... M....

    How dare you hurt furvious

  23. J.... D....

    YouTube Red... Ads begone!

  24. C.... V....

    Diss yourself next

  25. E.... G....

    9:29 LOL

  26. J.... M....

    That's a man who understands that jackfilms sucks

  27. C.... &....

    Jenna Marbles' stigmata. Not much on YT makes me laugh but that did.

  28. w.... w....

    Does Jackfilms still exist? I've never heard of him...

  29. M.... P....

    merry christmass dan bull

  30. G.... C....

    ALEXANDER HAMILTON :D I'M LIKING AND SUBBING NOW ( XD )

  31. D.... ....

    now i f***ing hate jacksfilms

  32. �.... ....

    Your thing is being fatty with funny accent and cool lyrics.

  33. S.... ....

    Ah, the classic johnsmovies

  34. J.... ....

    Damn that alexander hamilton part

  35. b.... �....

    ı love you beyb

  36. C.... C....

    I really like the way he explains what does the youtuber did.

  37. D.... G....

    Hey Dan, Why dont you try dissing Ssundee? the so called "diss God" in Minecraft? that would be a sight to see. PS- I dont got anything against you guys, just suggesting.

  38. C.... N....

    Lmfao when he had audio of him talking thought it was Jarvis Johnson lmfao

  39. R.... S....

    What is this ornamental ad helix thing

  40. d.... ....

    Loving the beat what is the instrumental

  41. L.... H....

    And here I was thinking that Dan Bull was a Christian... *sigh I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed.

  42. X.... K....

    The one guy Eminem was afraid to diss

  43. h.... p....

    yo this was just too far

  44. D.... T....

    AND YES PEWDIEPIE DID COPY HIM JACK STARTED YIAY THEN PEWDIEPIE BEGAN LWIAY LIKE A YEAR LATER

  45. D.... T....

    I respected you. Respect-ed. Past. Don’t roast jacksfilms.

  46. S.... X....

    White people shouldn't rap

  47. P.... Y....

    this is so entertaining. should have more views

  48. R.... Y....

    Who Else Just Got Confused Cuz Dan Bull Is Making Fun That He Isint A Successful But Jacksfilms Is More Successful Than Dan Bull

  49. c.... f....

    RIP teacup

  50. F.... C....

    9:58 This part is my favorite

  51. L.... M....

    That was fucking brilliant. Loved it, thanks for that.

    You'll never see this, but I just want to say that I found you because of a comment you left on MATN's channel....and now YOU owe ME one bedtime!

  52. K.... F....

    I love how hard it is to legitimately hate Jack.





    (I hate him as a fan) thanks squad fam.

  53. J.... H....

    Why is no one talking about how he reused the bigger capacity stadium diss from the ksi diss

    J.... H....

    He dose yes, but I just realised the genius behind the line. If you notace the previous verse was
    "I didn’t want to bring your head into it, it’s been done already.
    but then again so has YIAY, more than mom’s spaghetti"
    So he then resues the diss because its been "done already" and is repetitive. Its a really awesome but is not supper obvious at first.

  54. C.... E....

    I don’t really know why, really I have no idea, but this video for some inexplicable reason made me want to drink a can of coke, but I can’t put my finger on it, why could that be?

  55. H.... K....

    I’m watching this on easter

  56. T.... G....

    M O M S S P A G H E T T I

  57. M.... ....

    dang, i bet this rap really hits home for jacksfilms. I thought: "what could he say to diss Jacksfilms" and the madman really went and done it.

  58. O.... G....

    Everyone Hit the Bell. It's been nearly 5 months and the views on this (wonderful) video are still sitting at half his sub count!

  59. R.... S....

    Do more!

  60. K.... ....

    6:14 - 12:07

  61. T.... J....

    Why is he wearing goggles

  62. T.... Q....

    Roast ricegum

  63. L.... C....

    Why don’t you roast nerd3

  64. B.... F....

    I wish I was a big creator just so Dan would Roast me. Love all your work Dan, never give it up!

  65. J.... o....

    10:35 was so good

  66. S.... B....

    In school they called me Alexander Scrabble don

  67. C.... M....

    DanBully

  68. J.... J....

    would love to see another one of these soon

  69. A.... A....

    The way you pronounced KSI LMAO

  70. T.... P....

    12:00 Is that Danny Gonzalez 3rd from the left?

  71. G.... W....

    rip jack oops sorry john

  72. Z.... D....

    ‘Jacksfilms seems to be one of the few decent YouTubers left on the platform’
    In desc

    Rap roast

  73. R.... ....

    1:30 whats up guys its scarce here

  74. F.... -....

    Your KSI rap uses the whole cranium and bigger stadium thing.... Like cmon I love you Dan but it's like your Twitter Rap and Facebook rap

  75. R.... M....

    Alexander What the fuck.

  76. B.... T....

    You should diss verlisify

  77. E.... S....

    Now make a response to stupendiums roast on you

  78. J.... ....

    You chose the wrong beat man

  79. I.... a....

    5:55 YEETIS THE FEETIS

  80. I.... a....

    'Taint good ol' good Chrysler without Coke and JacksFilms...
    And jesus I guess.

  81. V.... i....

    roast me

  82. S.... G....

    Roast Dantdm

  83. W.... H....

    Can you please teach me how to rap I have no idea how to do it please help me Dan Bull I don't know who to turn to express emotion as it should be

  84. Z.... h....

    What is the song name from Tone Jonez (http://www.jeejuh.com/)

  85. T.... S....

    nice feet...

  86. x.... M....

    Yo we should see another roast but about XXXsniper_wolf

  87. S.... ....

    All the outdoor shots were catching my eye - then it clicked - turns out I know the park where it was shot! I live nearby! (Awesome video too btw)

  88. R.... ....

    That "What's your thing?" advertisement reference. God, it was almost out of my head.. I sound like a T-Rex..

  89. E.... G....

    so much effort went into this video it deserves many more views than it got

  90. K.... B....

    COMPLIMENT TRACK 2018 Confirmed.

  91. I.... A....

    "Receding hair line is normal for guys in their 40s"

    I laughed Farrr too hard at that

  92. Y.... K....

    There is a good mix of people who understand that this is a joke, but then there are people who defend jacksfilms or attack him.

  93. m.... b....

    Is this real or supposed to be funny

  94. G.... ....

    that pusha t line was incredible

  95. M.... S....

    Wow.... this is painful af...... madd content cuh.....

  96. L.... G....

    That Josh Spurt anagram and the Ornamental Ad Helix-Alexander Hamilton was so unexpected. Glad to see it there though!

  97. K.... -....

    Good music, cheik our channel if you need instrumental ! 👌

  98. D.... B....

    Watch the other Rap Roasts here, and tell me who I should roast next. Merry Christmas. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwQDSRN0v-fexbL3AmX-W8KI6mXaAnQlp

    D.... B....

    Dan Bull it suggest the other Paul, dont mind if its Jake or the asian one, what was his name again? Ricegum or something

    D.... B....

    You should roast JT Music... oh wait you cant Because they have nothing to roast.

    D.... B....

    rost jacksepickeye

    D.... B....

    Jackseptickeye, Markiplier, Filthy Frank (even though he left), MatPat, and........ Oh, yourself (now that will be new)

    D.... B....

    Dan Bull yo dude yo dual best