Bowie, David - The Laughing Gnome Lyrics






I was walking down the high street,
When I heard footsteps behind me.
And there was a little old man (Hello!)
In scarlet and gray, chuckling away

Well he trotted back to my house
And he sat beside the telly (Ahh!)
With his tiny hands on his tummy
Chuckling away, laughing all day

"I ought to report you to the Gnome Office."
"Gnome Office? Ahahahah!"

Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee
I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me
Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee
I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me,
Said the laughing gnome

Well I gave him roasted toadstools,
And a glass of dandelion wine. (burp, pardon...)
Then I put him on a train to Eastbourne.
Carried his bag, and gave him a fag.

"Have you got a light, boy?"
"Here, where do you come from?"
"Gnome-man's land, heehee!"
"Oh, really?"

In the morning, when I woke up,
He was sitting on the edge of my bed,
With his brother, whose name was Fred.
He'd brought him along to sing me a song.

"Alright, let's hear it... 'ere, what's that clicking noise?"
"That's Fred, he's a metro-gnome, haha!"

Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee
I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me
Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee
I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me

"Oh now, I'm a gnome, anyway, haha!"
"Haven't you got a home to go to?"
"No, we are gnome-ads, hehe!"
"Didn't they teach you to get your hair cut at school? You look like a rolling gnome."
"Nah, not at the London school of Eco-gnome-ics."

Now they're staying up me chimney,
And we're living on caviar and honey (Hurray!)
Cause they're earning me lots of money
Writing comedy prose for radio shows

"It's the, errrr... it's the gnome-service, yes, of course!"

Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee
I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me
Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee
(Oh, dear me...)
I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me
(One more time!)
Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee
I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me





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Bowie, David The Laughing Gnome Comments
  1. n.... c....

    the gnome voice makes reappearances on The Bewlay Brothers and Love is Lost (steve reich mix)

  2. M.... ....

    This is the only known gate to the twerk dimension step from Ruben's thick asshole

  3. R.... B....

    Jar media is on a downward spiral

  4. V.... ....

    Possibly the worst song ever made. 10/10

  5. R.... R....

    Who's here from Jar Media?

  6. C.... S....

    He must have had access to the other dimensions earlier than we thought ;)

  7. w.... r....

    jarlings gather

  8. j.... ....

    Was he trying to get a saturday morning cartoon going?

  9. t.... j....

    The jar nibbas brought me here

  10. O.... T....

    Well I definitely think he was on lsd or something when he wrote this song

  11. S.... ....

    Waddup jar bois

  12. w.... n....

    thank you jar media, very cool

    w.... n....

    I'm off the cast

    w.... n....

    wow cringe

  13. J.... S....

    Wow, what a blast from the past for me. I remember being extremely young, and my Dad having this on in his car - on tape! I would always put it on, simply because I remember I always found this song really entertaining. Mainly I think because of the gnome and all his laughs, particularly the “story” of the song too. Wow, how time passes. Now, of course, Bowie has passed, and my Dad too, sadly. Even to this day I remember most of the lyrics, and sing them. Only today though I have learned that it was a Bowie piece, who of course played Tesla in The Prestige (my favourite film). R.I.P Bowie, and you too Dad.

  14. P.... T....

    Loved this song since I found it in 1976.

  15. C.... E....

    Its an experience when spotify shuffle takes you here after Life on Mars

  16. C.... M....

    Perhaps the most under-rated Bowie song.

  17. o.... c....

    He sold out after this song!!

  18. J.... F....

    Can't believe how music is ace

  19. A.... M....

    Did David Bowie just fucking gnome me?

  20. L.... H....

    Hoo Hoo hee ha ha

  21. s.... ....

    I have a feeling David actually lost his shit at 2:40 and they just kept it in to give it effect.

  22. j.... a....

    Very interesting piece of history.

  23. C.... E....

    wow, that was great!

  24. a.... l....

    Who are the 83 that disliked this song?

    a.... l....

    Angie and her 83 accounts

  25. D.... B....

    This isnt right in the mind

    D.... B....

    You don't know shit.

  26. J.... M....

    Bowie and the Chumpkins

  27. I.... S....

    Funny song

  28. J.... S....

    ! ! !<3 ;-)) !

  29. F.... G....

    almost as bad as Bigflo's Delilah

  30. J.... M....

    Why this sounds like a Spongebob song?

  31. W.... _....

    this old song is on drugs
    but i like it xd

  32. b.... ....

    I hate to say it but I remember that being in the charts!

  33. l.... P....

    “Rolling gnome” 🤣

  34. J.... A....

    2:40 makes me happy everytime man

  35. S.... -....

    The was written during David's short Mushroom taking phase.

  36. B.... R....

    Alvin! ALVIN...!!
    Okay, Dave!

  37. S.... ....

    Nobody is honest anymore. This song is pure trash.

    S.... ....

    You don't know shit and you couldn't recognize a true artist if he slapped you in the face.

  38. N.... C....

    So funny and I just love Bowie's early stuff

  39. M.... C....

    Bowie gnomed us years before it became a thing

  40. R.... H....

    You just got gnomed!

  41. �.... �....

    haha gnomed

  42. K.... 2....

    Well, he had to start somewhere.

  43. J.... M....

    I AM NOT A GNELF
    I AM NOT A GNOBLIN

    J.... M....

    *I M A G ‘ N O M E*

  44. P.... J....

    h a h a h a h e h e h e

  45. K.... K....

    My dad loves this song

  46. S.... N....

    Aburrido y pretencioso.

  47. S.... E....

    I think I understand why this song never made it to Bowie's greatest hits.

  48. b.... a....

    When you mix Coke with Vicodin. Dr. House says it,s ok.

  49. B.... B....

    So far removed from Ziggy in just 'Five Years' after this. Different face, different voice. Legend.

  50. t.... g....

    You can definitely hear the Syd barret influence

  51. f.... ....

    This should be Belgium's national anthem .....or should it be "the laughing Smurf"
    It IS a quick march after all.

  52. F.... C....

    that his career has not ended after this is the proof of the genius of Bowie.

  53. V.... ....

    What
    The
    Fucking
    Fuck

  54. S.... S....

    best tune he ever did

  55. K.... ....

    We just got gnomed

  56. B.... B....

    David Bowie was a revolutionary genius. He's inspired so many singers and his influence is still seen today, 50 YEARS after his first hit. He was an amazing singer, saxophone player, writer, and actor.


    SO THE IDEA OF HIM SITTING IN A ROOM AND RECORDING THE LINE "That's Fred! He's a metrognome!" is to hilarious to get mad at.

  57. F.... G....

    I’m Gnot a Gnelf

  58. M.... W....

    I want this played at my funeral.

  59. L.... L....

    I love to refer to these early tracks as his “Syd Barrett” period. ;)

    At that time, Syd was his biggest inspiration, and he was even dressing like him and had his hair permed like Syd’s! Can’t blame him, Sud was amazing.

    To see what I mean, go to Google and search for “David Bowie hippie look perm”. You’ll see what I mean.

    I honestly don’t know why he was so embarrassed by this song, I think it’s great! It’s fun, melodic, and charming. And pretty much everybody loves it!

  60. O.... ....

    They would call this a novelty song - 60s radio was full of them - but when you come to think of it, much of Bowie's career was pure novelty. In fact, I think it was his primary instinct. He just had a far wider and more ambitious idea of what novelty could be. And when he quickly realized he didn't have to settle for trite gimmicks, the floodgates opened.

  61. n.... c....

    its the same chord progression as Velvet Underground's "Waiting for that Man"

  62. J.... ....

    "I'll report you to the gnome office"

  63. J.... B....

    the Guardian brought me here.

  64. F.... P....

    WHERE THE FUCK DID MONDAY GO-OH!!

  65. A.... O....

    Well, I've been gnomed.

  66. E.... ....

    I dont want to offend any die hard Bowie fans out there but this song just epitomising why I never liked him, not one tiny bit. I always felt he was shallow, his music and lyrics got on my nerves. By the time My Little China Girl arrived I was screaming in agony. When oh when would he stop! I think the world of music lovers definitely fell into two camps, and they still do, the lovers and haters. of course this didn't stop me from going to three live concerts of him, but then I went to anything in those days. One was in a tiny church in Amsterdam, it felt like the lovers had shrunk to an all time low, there was just a handful of people not quite sure what to expect or why they were there, his performance didn't quite make that apparent either. Then I saw him in a mega stadium, think it was Rotterdam, where he was a tiny little puppet in a bright orange suit dancing awkwardly in the very very distance. Not much I can add except I was underwhelmed. Last time I saw him was in Hong Kong, medium small venue full of European expats which starved for entertainment had thinly filled only the front third of seats, the rest where empty. He called us fuckers, I guess because we weren't exactly overly impressed and remained seated for the almost the entire performance, just getting up to run to the door when it was over. Then I heard he died so that was that. Forever unimpressed I guess. He is probably still calling us fuckers but the thing is there were always those amongst us who were spell bound so not entirely fair either and I felt for them. Maybe he thought we were all bankers, the assumption college of thought. I dunno he wasn't very bright.

  67. B.... ....

    I think it's a great song gnome matter he thought of it himself. RIP

  68. E.... M....

    Every true Bowie fan knows this song xD

  69. R.... D....

    First Bowie song I ever remember hearing

  70. G.... S....

    Hello me ole chum

  71. E.... 0....

    2:38 David Bowie reading about modern feminism.

  72. s.... ....

    https://youtu.be/1FFBsX5C61Q

    s.... ....

    Just as i thought this link would contain and it was exactly that

  73. L.... V....

    My neighbor has a annoying laugh so im blasting this.

  74. S.... E....

    Hit? For his budding reputation, perhaps.

  75. D.... W....

    That's a sequel for Barrett's 'The Gnome'

  76. C.... P....

    Nice nice alot of imagination

  77. C.... S....

    Methinks he visited mushroomville then wrote this song

  78. M.... a....

    Is this the Noid?

  79. S.... F....

    Hi ye old chum

  80. P.... 2....

    Evil song

  81. C.... E....

    the height of David Bowie's career

  82. J.... 1....

    Bowie cant really be bothered with this ...my grankids love it loads though😃

  83. P.... x....

    hard to belive he went from this to no plan.

  84. L.... ....

    What the actual fuck is this?

  85. s.... ....

    its so fuckin cursed

  86. A.... B....

    Love it but still feel the presence of 'Mr Newley' in the singing style - DB not the Gnome.

  87. K.... M....

    Thanks uploader! All my vinyl got separated from me. It might still exist in a vault someplace.

  88. N.... D....

    How did he come from doing this to doing songs like Heroes?

  89. P.... C....

    Up there with Ziggy.

  90. s.... w....

    Well this was......
    an experience

  91. L.... L....

    This would not have been out of place in "Labyrinth". LOL....

  92. S.... ....

    Was he hanging out with Gong when he wrote this by any chance ? 😄

  93. c.... b....

    This is my childhood song ❤️

  94. M.... R....

    My mum used to play this when i was little i love itt

  95. E.... P....

    couldnt even let us keep the original video. youtube

  96. S.... ....

    Meh he has better work

  97. d.... t....

    huge Bowie fan here since age 11. 57 now and I still love this,,, cannot understand The Great Mans embarrassment about this,,, Brilliant.