Bo Burnham - Poems Lyrics

"You, with your muscular teeth and clockwise vagina." did he just describe a duck?

*Thank you that's called Dad*

Ah I just read the entirety of egghead in one sitting and I must say he reads it better

This guy really sucks. thumbs down

I smell comedy

Get outta here *roundies*

is he,,, is he okay,,?????

Me at 2:35 *roblox death sound*

This is the best advertisement in history holy shit.

3:43 😂😂😂😂😂

Bo Burnham done this type of joke before (though it wasn't nearly as good).
It was in his 2010 show "Words, Words, Words".
He used a triangle and then a drum later. In the same damn show.

You can find that show on Pornhub.

*He clicks his tongue* oh boy.

I AM BLESSED TO HAVE EXACT SAME BIRTHDAY AS HIM

Hi I’m on here to make friends but Idk why there’s videos popping up so often can someone please let me know if this is occurring to them or whether it is just my device playing tricks on me?

All of these poems and I'm still wondering what a clockwise vagina would look like

"That one's called 'Dad'" LMAO

Says I wanna take the pressure off the audience later... I want to beat you to death with a blunt object

"I smell comedy" "Well it was comedy giving off that scent" I fucking love that

Roses are gray
Violets are a different shade of gray
Let's go chase cars
*snaps*

I am a pedantic fucker and I hate fun, so it is my duty to inform you that dogs don't exclusively see in shades of grey. To a dog's eyes, roses are piss-yellow and violets are bluish-grey.

Ama Yad tell that to burnham.

Check out my retarded Youtube videos cuz you are stupid as well.

If you like Bo Burnham who is my favorite comedian, u will like my videos as well 4 sure. Wanna give it a chance?

I didn't understand the squares and circles poem.

Xena Mystique i seen somewhere that the circles are Jews im not sure who the squares

2:05 is when the best poem starts

1:07 fucking killed me

"I smell comedy. Well, it was comedy giving off that scent." I quote this on a daily basis.

what instrument is that?

*....ding*

This guy is awesome :)

You're incomparable like a- I CANT XD

Lauryn Olivia like what

does anyone know a website where I can download the audio for free. And not that Audible or Audiobooks.com bullshit like an actual website where I dont have to sign-up or anything. If you find any plz hmu. Thx

Most things in the world aren't free, books are one those things

I FEEL LIKE THE TETRIS JOKE IS VERY UNDERRATED

Because it is

IT FUCKING IS

Did anyone notice that he licked his finger before he ran it along the chimes?

Sam Harnish well I’m buying that chimes

i swear to christ most of this comment section is just quoting the video. like shit, we watched it too

2:13 HOLY FUCK ME AT EVERYONE TBH

Where can I buy a Bo and does he come with that chime thing

My favourite part is how he keeps adjusting the mic up and fown

2:31 *licks finger* deosnt turn page but rings the instrument*

The pages are blank

Wafflez FTT 1:26 you can actually see that he’s been writing in it, he probably flipped to an empty page for that punchline

He probably used his finger to reduce friction.

The instrument isn't even mic'd, it's a prop, just realized

Edit: I lied, it's just a very photogenic chime set

Doesn't*

Does anyone know where to get those chimes he's using in this video

could we get a comedy scented candle?

She smelled like shit what a psycho

Can someone explain the I put a Chamaeleon on a dildo joke please

The chameleon changes its color to blend in with the environment, in this case red to match with the dildo. So he “blushes”

"COMEDY! I smell comedy, well it was comedy giving off that scent" 😂😭

cahmedee

We're doing a poetry unit in school where we have to create an anthology of poems we like. My English teacher better watch out.

"I wanna sharpen 50 pencils, bind them with a rubber band, stick the lead ends in your mouth and punch the erasers." Damn

THE CHIME

Motherfucking shapes

Mari is SHINY a

A poem by a mantis shrimp; Roses are a color not seen by man. Violets are another color not seen by man. I'm gonna break this clam shell.

THE DAD ONE IS TOO REAL LMAOO

Looks like someone has daddy issues

eatin that puthy baby...

I don't get the incomprarable joke...

He says "You're incomparable... Like a..."
Saying 'like a' is a comparison to something, but since the other person is incomparable, he can't finish his sentence (that is comparing them).

Ohhhhh, okey thx!

He does the joke again in an interview, it’s you’re incomparable *closes book* (incomparable like a closed book)

@Melili boi

"You're incomparable, like a.." fucking brilliant

LetItReign
"have you ever made a song where the notes are in the wrong position?"
"eh, duh"
*messes up song*
"one..."

GrangerDanger LIKE A WHAT IM CONFUSED

"in their square town" shoulda said town square :3

Same difference

ExSoFat two meanings, a town square is a place and a square town is a uh town

Difference of squares?

Lol i was watching a bts on crack playlist. Wow. I love bo so much. Im sad he isnt posting anymore☹️

im a year late but i was too before i got here

I'm eating some god-damned pickle slices while watching this shit. I love it.

Sapphirebow Pickles are damn good

see rn it's relevant, bc it's mid October

he's not reading them though, the book is empty

Smol Gay Jay WHY AM I LEING TO YOU

At 1:26 you see the words.

Better lay the book on top of your head, so later you can still turn over a page

If you look at 2:18 no the pages in fact aren't blank. He only reveals it's blank when he "reads" the poem "I Fuck Sluts"

1:35 you can see words

mid-october........ with leaves spilled like colored pencil shavings........... the streets dicing our town into neat, unfair portions....... and me........... eatin that pussy baby

wow you quoted something. congrats

Hes learning :')

we watched the video how about that

the first time he said poems, I thought he was saying puns in a funny way

poans

I wanna beat you to death with a blunt object. I wanna grab one of those high-end fashion mannequins by the ankles and bash your ribcage in. I wanna sharpen 50 penicls, bind them with a rubber band, stick the lead ends in your mouth and punch the erasers. I wanna strap you to a bed of nails, then strap that bed of nails to the hood of my car so I can watch you suffer as we drive over the speed bumps in a mall parking lot during an earthquake. I want you to somehow survive a terrible car crash and somehow not survive a small fender-bender on the way back from the hostpital.

copypasta material

Renn relatable

a small fender bender on the way home.

That one's called 'Dad'

Renn d a d

I want the book

It’s 20 dollars on ebay

@Milk and Frogs He(or she) waNTS THE BOOK

IM GETTING THIS BOOK BC IM AN HONOR WITH A GPA OF 94!!!

+JuJu Girl Something tells me you're not...

+Kayla Burney Lel my sister's coming home for my G6 graduation in May

>Lel (instead of 'lol')
>BC (instead of 'because')
>IM (instead of 'I'm')
>GPA of 94 (As GPAs are graded on a 4 point scale)

Highly doubt it mate.

+Kayla Burney Damn, you're fucking savage.

Kayla Burney Using "lol" is also bad, but "lel" makes me want to survive a horrible car crash but then die to a fender bender on the way home from the hospital.

smelt like shit Whatta psycho

omf am i stpid!!!!! I CANT FIND THIS SHIT FUNNY I HAVE NO IDEA WHY U EPOPLE FIND IT FUNNY!??!!?!?!

CloudDino here ill answers, this is our humour, and you have a different type of humour but you dont see us asking why you like that type of humour even if its shit. So be respectful, thank.

CloudDino we have souls.

To each his own

This “shit” is our humor. You have different type of humor but you don’t see us asking why do you like that kind of humor even though it’s complete shit. So just shut up. If you don’t enjoy it, better leave.

t h a n k

CloudDino Most of these are a reversal of expectations. The beginning parts make you expect something to happen and the result is the opposite of that. People usually find humor in the unexpected, like that one video when they set the rabbit free and a bird or something ate it.

That fucking chime

+TheBaconAsian "ohhhhh a genie just came" Bo Burnham

TheBaconAsian

where can I buy one I want him

CultOfkujo or I've heard the accept MCRISNTDEADMOM

buyboburnham.com
thats where i got mine

Lilly Henriksen i swear it's not

the book? like any book store

You want the idea of him.

That last one

Not even a smirk.

you aren't human then

2:08-2:39 is exactly how I feel and its fucking HILARIOUS! 😂

Something you wanna talk about?

What are those squares he's talking about? I know circles mean Jews.

I think he ment the squares as whites and circles as blacks but i could be wrong

Could be, but I doubt it. He had a chance to scoop in actual IRL racism. I'm sure I would've taken the oppurtunity.

@Supreet Sahu Except without the research he wouldn't know that he had the opportunity to scoop in real racism.

he blushed.... there we go

the grim rihrih you’re a fucking idiot

The joke is that blushing means going red, like from embarrassment
The chameleon went red because it changes colour to match its surroundings
It’s usually embarrassing to be put near a dildo, so saying it blushed has layers.

I FUCKING LOVE THIS GUY HES SO FUCKING HILARIOUS

IKR HES SO FUCKIN FUNNIE

NotaGDChannelAnymore *funny

what the fuck is this shit

Art and poetry

+Scomister r art is alive nothing is real!

@Scomister r art my ass. what a fucking cop out.

He is so good!!!

I PUT A CHAMELEON ON A RED DILDO :) .......:/......

He blushed there we go

BLANK he said right as I read this

JC Klatte it's creepy how often that happens to me

I THOUGHT THAT SAID CHARMELEON IM DEAD

I forgot the line, that’s why he paused, cause he was trying to remember it right?

Jegbmf Pretty sure the pause was to signify the time that passes until the chameleon adapts to the new background, but he definitely intended for the audience to start wondering why he suddenly stopped (as if that was already the end of the poem)

He said 1,000,000 -10 and said 999,999 it should be 999,990

He said 999,990.

the look he gives the audience at 2:50. i find it so funny omg

He tries not to crack up after he does it too, you can see in the close up right after

@Dan Williams I think it's because it was spontaneous and he didn't really know how to react to himself hahaha

that _Salty ™_ look

It's important to note that these are not poems, they're all prose. I think Bo is confused. 

I think a couple were poems. "Dad" was definitely prose, but the rest, I would imagine, kinda depend on how the poem is written and/or intended to be read.

some of them are poems, some of them are prose, all of them are amazing.

@Gabby King
Well said.

@Tom Burgess
You can make
anything a poem 
by structing it
like this

Perfection

you are perfection.

@Patrick Sarmiento your pick up lines suck

@Patrick Sarmiento hahahaha!

"I wanna beat you to death with a blunt object. I wanna grab one of those high end fashion mannequins by the ankles and bash your rib cage in. I wanna sharpen 50 pencils, bind them with a rubber band, stick the led into your mouth and punch the erasers. I wanna strap you to a bed of nails then strap that bed of nails to the hood of my car so i can watch you suffer as we drive over speed bumps in a mall parking lot during an earthquake. I want you to some how survive a terrible car crash, then somehow not survive a small fender bender on our way back from the hospital."

yeah we also watched the video

@dwizard321 Saved me the effort to copy/paste it.

That's not the whole poem either!!

Bio The Brit what's the rest of the poem then cuz this is all I heard

Thank you that one’s called Dad

meant the middle sort of one, as in that pencil one and all that wonderful stuff....

Well that one second to last was ummm.... something else....

Whats egghead?

His poetry book. 

And to the right we can see the stereotypical teenage boy, quoting song lyrics and not spelling the word "fucking" out.

@FoxfadaSmile Because everybody knows, if you say "fucking" on youtube without the star to censor it, the FBI will find you. 

@Anna Sofie  Oh yes, we must watch our backs now.