Bloodhound Gang - A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When the Stripper is Crying Lyrics

I've done my damn best to commit this to memory and my friends are freaked out how well I know this song. Great party trick

I remember hearing this when it was released in 1999 and I really loved it. I still love it-
This made me old. It's 21 years since it was relesed and I were 15 years old at the time.

It's like if the Aristocrats joke had a musical baby...... and did unspeakable things to it........ as such things need to be sung. Lol

If this song isn’t a masterpiece, I don’t know what is.

By the way, I would’ve happily joined Kunta Kinté at a Merle Haggard concert. I didn’t realize he had such great taste in music.

I never realized that Jesus Christ, Mickey Mouse, Garth Brooks and Santa Claus were so damn freaky.

These are the most disturbing lyrics I've ever read..creepier than when Tom Cruise laughs, or shitting naked.

"Being A God Is So Much Better When There Is Muertos De Hambre" Lol! Fuck God And His Poetry.

Quite possibly one of the worst songs to get caught singing along with in traffic... by a cop....

Jared, zieh dich aus und foxtrott unicorn Charlie kerdammt noch mal alle zusammen und gebt den Fans ein best of of the hell.

Oder ne kleine Deutschlandtour früher wusste ich nicht was die da singen aber seit einigen Monaten höre ich die fast jeden Tag🤣

When I die, I know how I will freak people out. I will have my children gathered to read my will. There will be a nonsensical riddle for them to solve with hints from this song. This song will play after with me saying "I hope you understand why I raised you the way I did.' and that will be the last they will hear from me.

Can't wait for a kidz bop version of this. зь

Hopefully y’all came here to watch this from Bobbi Dylan live chat lmao 😂

Calling all SJW's...reewuuur reewuur! You're under social arrest.

OMFG HOW could there be 719 ASSHOLES giving a thumbs down to THIS … HA HA HA This SHIT is AWSUM

I told a girl I would wear her face like a mask while I do my little pookie dance once. Should have seen her face, it didn't go over very well.

Best Country Song EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Glad I’m here before tik tok takes it 😂

This is offensive to every type of individual listed in this song except for Merle Haggard, as I'm pretty sure he was arrested at some point or another for actually doing most everything mentioned.

One of the Greatest songs ever!
Name was... Russel....

Fuckin 🔥

Jonathan Hills of Buddhism Hotline got trolled by this song.

What's even better is when she is a single mom, and I banged her on mother's day morning after a night of drinking and crying...

I am laughi`n so had I a cryi`n

This is some 4am Uber music

This song is so fucked on so many levels..... BRAVO

"You can not imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice and polish the one-eyed gopher when your doin' seventy-five in an eighteen-wheeler. I never thought missing children could be so sexy. Did I say that out loud?"

They just do not write songs like this anymore

No creativity at all.
You cant expect this from the plain stale pieces of bread people call souls now a days.

Make more music

So, I'm assuming he killed her baby also...?

Best song ever.

It really is hard to hide a hard on when you are dressed like Minnie Pearl. How do I know? NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!

This is my sjw protest song

Much love from 2019

These fucks are super liberal.

How sad that you use cliches like "sjw"....

This is the worst song I've ever loved every second of.

This song makes me want to eat ass

че за хуйня?

Her name was Russell lmao. Still a favorite.

i lost myself to
ruby red lips
milky white skin
baby blue eyes





name was russell.

Love this line.... timing is perfect too

I love that the beat is the 1st beat on an old Casio keyboard my cousins had in the 80s. Instantly recognizable

I love the brilliant musical arrangement of this song!

reminds me of ween

Song sounds like pac man trying to fuck bob dylan

Definitely there best most Funniest Song love it lmao😂!!!

That's right strippers are empowered until they get old...see Stormy. Yet, men feel sympathy for granny. Not a bad sex after all!

And women hit the wall at 30

I bet know one even knows this but the beat from this song is totally from this song... https://youtu.be/lNYcviXK4rg

Have to say I love this song but the Course sounds sooo much like joe from family guy..

Faster then you can say Shallow Grave !!

Is it wrong I find this hilarious??????

It would be wronger if you didn't.

That's the whole point

Name was Russel

...name was RUSSELL 😂😂

Notbto be rude but this is your worst song that I have ever heard and I love most of your music

It’s intentionally bad.

@Tom Volz I get that

It's a parody of a genre of music much like every other track n this CD. As a parody of trucker/country music, it's pretty accurate.

Of course, it's hard to hide a hard on while you're dressed like Minnie Pearl.

It's funny because it's true.

DANKUS MEMECUS

the reason for the missing drums is that at this point they had a drummer that was only 12 years old and his mom did not allow him to preform this song. god do i love bloodhound gang!

Source?

I was lonelier than kunter kinte at a Meryl Hagard concert, fucking hilarious.

In memory of the days when missing children were actually printed on a milk carton...... For that matter, in memory of the days when milk actually came in a milk carton.

...or when people drank milk for breakfast. Instead of scotch

this song makes me want to blow my brains out. funny asf though.

The minivan = 2 in front 5 in the back if you catch my drift.

1 in the pink , 2 in the stink ?

2 in the front, fist in the rear

10/10 family reunions

I'm parking the beef bus in tuna town

if you know what i mean...

Putting his beef in her trout hole lol

Brilliant.

_Just for all the zoomers out there who don't even know about the Bloodhound Gang:_
This particular CD (go lookup what CD's looked like) was colored like a white chick's boob with the words "insert tongue here" by the hole... they might have included other races; I only bought one (they were cool like that).
GENIUS!!!!!

DeadFlag70, Boomer is about three generations before this.

@David Grover still, acting like just because they're older means they know everything while zoomers know nothing is acting like a boomer

DeadFlag70, I respectfully disagree. As I have seen it applied in far more situations that do not match that definition than in situations that do.

Uhhhhh Ok Boomer 😂

DeadFlag70, thanks for the example.

You can't get away with this kinda shit anymore... :(

I uze to play diz zong zittin out zide tha ztrip club lmmfao

Did you get your tongue stuck in the CD again?

I love this group they my favorite

Genre: 8 bit country.

My cousin was given a Casio keyboard back in the early 80s for Christmas. I swear this sample was one of the pre-programmed samples available on it. I’ve actually tried to find one of those keyboards I could buy since first hearing this song.

2019 Epstein trump and Clinton

Name was Russell

Lyrics for generations hence.

And it was a tranny he picked up

I remember this being 11 minutes. Must've been on repeat.

Used to play rainbow six Vegas two with this playing over the mic.
The good ol days.

I’ve had a lap dance from a crying stripper. It doesn’t live up to the hype.

Punched the bitch in the jaw, she cried.

@Frank Reynolds Well lapdances and hookers are a pretty awkward concept as a whole.

@Frank Reynolds Not hooker! Call girl! They are only hookers once they are dead!

@tvsinesperanto damn bruh

Coz you're not a jerk.

❤😂

Nice song

Super Underrated band!

Hay for some reason this song is so true and always has been lol

The Stinky Pinky Gulp ‘N’ Guzzle Big Rig Snooze-A-Stop

Kinda makes ya want to be a trucker.

Oh after hours at the club back when this came out, me & the DJ would play it & the girls were like wtf man

@Responsible Forest wait hold on, did some research. This just sounds like a victim complex?

Duncan Zundel
Im enjoying talking to you but you’re talking about victim complex when you got on here to call someone an asshole for playing a funny song to some strippers. Looks like we’re all victims here lol.
Look into the marriage laws in the USA, the family courts have totally declared war on men. Its so lopsided where men are forced to pay child support for children that aren’t theirs or forced to pay alimony for the rest of their lives to a female who initiated the divorce.

Duncan Zundel
Do you think what harvey weinstein did was wrong? Trading sex for employment?

So calling someone an asshole for not only participating in, but taking pride in, workplace harrassment is comparable to pretending a historically oppressive gender is being somehow oppressed by the laws written & voted into place by others of the same historically oppressive gender and that's somehow a WaR oN MeN? HHHHHHHAH

Duncan Zundel
Most of us arent voting bro. Real ASSHOLES do that. Lmao “historically oppressive gender” lmaoooo are you a chick?

Chococripsy

This is better than blueface

Fuckin Russel can't keep her tears in...

2019! Still the greatest love song ever made.

Fuckin A right.

Yes a lap dance is so much better 🌬

Damn straight

“That rhymes”

🤣🤣🤣 I fuckin miss these boyz, this is genius

2019.... Here I am... NO REGRETS!

Homer... Dante...Khalil Gibran... The Bloodhound Gang. The Greats will always be great.

I heard this from Buddhism Hotline.

Name was Russel!

I was lonelier than...

lapdance ain't the only thing

I wish they had the video of this.

That would be illegal though...

no ones pays attention to the lyrics

Oh the lyrics make it better

lol what are you talking about? The lyrics are everything in this song. No one is jamming to that toy Casio keyboard shit!

@The Washable Bomb I am

I literally hate this 😂😂

Sorry, Bambi

I hope you got a lot of baby formula!

Um... the Bambi I know at the club didn't much like dancing to this.

I used to dance with a couple named Bambi and Thumper. Definitely could not see a couple of blue-haired black girls getting down to this 😂😂😊

@Amanda Knowles Hell, that sucks. Bambi and I are getting along better. In fact we're living together though we do keep separate rooms.


She loves the basement. ;)

That Kunta Kinte opening always gets me

LMFAO, for sure, unfortunately many people who hear this song have not seen the TV mini-series roots and don't get the reference if they did they would think it was funny as s***

Hey jackson and foster, if you're ever reading this, I miss you guys. Hope everything's going good in Korea.

They stationed here? Just so happens I am too.

Another great flat earth song. Thanks

Who's listening to this in DEC '99. ROADTRIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lets do it