Billy Bragg - Handyman Blues Lyrics






I'm never gonna be the handyman around the house my father was
So don't be asking me to hang a curtain rail for you, because
The screwdriver business just gets me confused
It takes me half an hour to change a fuse
And when I flicked the switch, the lights all blew

I'm not your handyman

Don't be expecting me to put up shelves or build a garden shed
But I can write a song that tells the world how much I love you instead
I'm not any good at pottery so let's lose the 't' and just shift back the 'e'
And I'll find a way to make my poetry build a roof over our heads

I know it looks like I'm just reading the paper
But these ideas I'll turn to gold dust later
'Cause I'm a writer, not a decorator

I'm not your handyman





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Billy Bragg Handyman Blues Comments
  1. S.... ....

    The 3.12 video ''If you're not sure who to vote for, watch this,'' (by Official Jeremy Corbyn Channel)

  2. D.... P....

    Morrissey

  3. B.... C....

    I was in B&Q last week when a guy in an orange apron asked if I wanted decking... Luckily I got the first swing in!
    Sorry... it just seemed to work. I'll be quiet now...

  4. S.... ....

    THIS IS FANTASTIC

  5. R.... B....

    Good to know there's someone out there who's not as good at carpentry as me

  6. R.... ....

    Shilly Shitbag.

  7. J.... M....

    You suck.

  8. K.... G....

    What a lot of riff raff! Magical track & funny video. Save us from the crazies, Billy! Barking Abbey Comp. refusenik 🦄

  9. W.... S....

    Now I feel completely emasculated by my inability to hang a picture straight.

  10. A.... c....

    And obviously the pg tips man gets the tea part

  11. A.... c....

    I wonder what wicks thought of this

  12. s.... g....

    Can't believe bill bailey is not in this

  13. w.... ....

    When i first heard ‘handyman blues’ on the radio, i thought, come on Billy Brag half an hour to mend a fuse whose gonna believe that! Then i thought is this just a backhanded way to remind us he’s a successful singer song writer. And then i saw the comic video and appreciated the poignancy of not living up to expectations, even your own, and i wrote this response. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JlQDm6-PYng

  14. s.... g....

    You so lucky

  15. N.... G....

    Who in the heck would thumbs down this song. Go find something else to do mates.

  16. L.... T....

    love the song great song billy

  17. S.... C....

    Johnny is *literally* Geoff Maltby in this. Absolutely phenomenal song made better by an incredible video.

  18. I.... A....

    I just listened to this song and love it. I thought it was entirely about me until the whole "but I can write songs" bit at the end.

  19. a.... a....

    Sanest comment thread on youtube, a bunch of music lovers saying fuckin fuck yes about a great song.

  20. K.... H....

    I'm trying to sing and play this on a ukulele, not easy.....but a great song.

  21. O.... D....

    a bit around the town jamm'n this tune..love it

  22. S.... F....

    It's because your euro

  23. t.... ....

    Words cannot describe just how wonderful this is.

  24. R.... M....

    Very good. Thanks.

  25. S.... M....

    "The Actor" Kevin Eldon

  26. N.... B....

    Never tire of watching this - something I can't place my finger on that's incredibly moving and heart warming at the same time. Love it

  27. A.... B....

    Just seen this for the first time and I love it.

  28. R.... B....

    fucking yeah

  29. K.... G....

    I am absolutely hooked on this which I only discovered recently

  30. K.... ....

    In the past I've been a carpenter and a mechanic but I like this song with the slide guitar. Are all the singing men celebrities? Being in America I only recognize my British panel show favorites Phill Jupitus, Ross Noble, and Johnny Vegas. I don't get the guitar case either.

    K.... ....

    +Kawiturbo750 only thing i can think of is I think that it's because Billy is getting his tool out.

    K.... ....

    I re-looked at the video and I think that you're right about the opening of the guitar case at the end. Thanks

    K.... ....

    They're all UK comedians and all very funny. I think the guitar joke is probably because singing or being musical can be mocked for being a bit "soft" (ie feminine) in manlier parts of England

    K.... ....

    Neil Morrissey, Stewart Lee, Ricky Grover, Samuel West
    Phill used to be a support act to Billy in the mid 80s, under the name Porky the Poet, and he's on the Sexuality video.
    Video directed by Mr Vegas

  31. B.... H....

    Great tune thanks Billy..

  32. D.... H....

    Shakin' Stevens has let himself go...

  33. S.... H....

    Love it !!!!!!!

  34. P.... D....

    Lovely sentiment in this song!

  35. S.... D....

    Who's the guy in the leather jacket?

    S.... D....

    Phill Jupitus. He directed the video for "Sexuality."

    S.... D....

    Sjarm Dertien Phil Jupitus is also a long term friend of Billy's ✌🏼

  36. J.... ....

    Some brilliant actors and comedians in this music video for a brilliant song by a brilliant singer

  37. R.... G....

    Dear Mr Bragg. Thank you so much for writing this song. I am a (very happily) married man whose wife cannot understand why I cannot do DIY. I am a musician, music teacher and EFL teacher. Exactly why she thinks I can double as a plumber, carpenter, tiler, gardener, bricklayer, etc, I do not know. I never ever claimed to be.- why does she think this? I would love to be able to do these things, but I can't - I may end up injuring somebody. Probably myself! You expressed my thoughts perfectly. Thank you so much.

    R.... G....

    Grow some

    R.... G....

    I can understand your wife's expectations.

  38. D.... R....

    Awe, speechless.

  39. J.... S....

    Beautiful and true.

  40. M.... L....

    the handyman of human kindness ... this is genius

  41. L.... O....

    LOVE THAT RUTS PIN!

  42. p.... ....

    Johnny singing he's not good at pottery :-)

  43. H.... L....

    The second one is MY grandad he is famous some people know him he is called Alan Laing

    H.... L....

    No, that's Neil Morrissey.

  44. H.... L....

    My grandad is the one with the pale peachish colour jacket the 2nd one he is called Alan Laing

    H.... L....

    Or Neil Morrissey.

  45. D.... M....

    I saw you perform at March in March Sydney. I'm loving this song mate, you just got another sub :)

  46. N.... A....

    I have a feeling this summer I’ll be listening to this a lot along with the Johnny Cash posthumous release Out Among The Stars

  47. M.... T....

    Is that first singer Kevin Eldon?

  48. C.... H....

    I can totally relate to this. Except for the musical talent thing. Ah well

  49. C.... M....

    This video is full of people I love :D Very nice song

  50. �.... �....

    Ну, вы господа, м, даёте! Предупреждать надо! Я не успел взять носовой платок!

  51. C.... H....

    Love it Billy!

  52. �.... �....

    Коментарий от Александра КОММАРИ:
    На экране группа самоподдержки вроде клуба анонимных алкоголиков, которые, собравшись на складе хозяйственного драгстора, по кругу повествуют о неудачах в обращении с молотками, отвертками, электродрелями и т.д. Но парни не сдаются и полны решимости совладать со стремянкой, научиться делать книжные полки, крепить карнизы, строить сараи в саду. Пустим-ка, сестры и братцы, скупую гендерно-политкорректную слезу :(

  53. K.... Z....

    True anthem! 

  54. P.... C....

    I love this video even though I'm quite a handyman, but wallpapering? No way Mrs. does that, I won't touch it, I'd end up wrapped like a mummy! ;)

  55. L.... T....

    Here we have a proper song everyone. A real song that kicks, punches and stays.

  56. G.... D....

    I suppose I was able to make more of an emotional connection to this song because my father was, funnily enough, the one who introduced me to it in the first places.
    I know my lack of common sense and practical skills frustrates him at times, but I also know he understands on a certain level.
    In fact, he recently sent me these lyrics with a little note attached, "I think you enjoy these."

  57. g.... ....

    Ironically Johnny Vegas is pretty good at pottery!

  58. B.... W....

    'I'm not any good at pottery so let's lose a t and just shift back the e'
    So, so good.

  59. K.... W....

    "Did you see what I did there? Pure genius..."

  60. B.... ....

    This song is painfully me and a lot of blokes I know. Ah well what ya gonna do.
    Billy Bragg fans out here may well like the song below. Check it out.

    FacesOnTables Glenn Hodge

  61. P.... L....

    The story of my life ...

  62. B.... B....

    Awesome video!! i couldn't help but think of my Old Man, he wasn't much of a handyman, as a matter of fact, sometimes i wish he had the common sense to wear a condom when i was conceived, maybe I would of had better luck!!

  63. H.... ....

    Words cannot describe how much I love this music video! XD so funny!

  64. O.... L....

    I like it!!

  65. M.... ....

    K.D. Lang's let himself go...

  66. b.... ....

    What are you talking about?! Did you even listen to the words?? He's saying he ISN'T a 'handyman'. Idiot.

  67. e.... ....

    worst than the nazis (communists not billy bragg)

  68. U.... ....

    Where's Bill Bailey? Fuckin' splitter.

  69. l.... ....

    this is such a cool song

  70. c.... ....

    This is my song

  71. P.... M....

    What a little Gem, I'm glad I cam across this! Brilliant

  72. c.... ....

    I don't think you know what a communist is

  73. J.... ....

    Consider the lily... ahhh

  74. S.... ....

    What's General Ratko Mladić doing in B&Q?

  75. G.... ....

    Make you right Bill. I'll try my best.

  76. c.... ....

    im doing this song in my chor

  77. J.... B....

    Brilliant

  78. C.... M....

    I used to be dyslexic - I'm KO now

  79. s.... ....

    KD Lang has let himself go.

  80. J.... B....

    I think the point is that if he is a true socialist then shouldn't he be spreading his wealth more evenly?

  81. K.... B....

    arh i love it

  82. G.... M....

    Had Chris known how to spell "won" he might be elightened enough to see the wood for the trees,

  83. b.... ....

    Nice one

  84. C.... G....

    Sorry about all the mistakes i have made with my grammar i am dyslexic. I should have put won and not one

  85. p.... ....

    I don't know what you're actually saying. You don't know who he is? Billy Bragg. What's hypocritical? That he campaigns on behalf people who are in less fortunate circumstances? He doesn't cause the circumstances, as far as I know. If the communists had one what? (which communists?). What's a high ranching party? Does it involve horse wrangling and cowboy activities?

  86. C.... G....

    It is still a bit hypocritical though isn't it. I mean if he is a communist i don't even know who he is. The truth is if the communists had one nobody would be living in mansions would they except maybe some of the high ranching party members.

  87. M.... C....

    Does it get any better than this? When music and pictures get it right you can end up with something spectacular. I love this!

  88. M.... ....

    sigh! I'll gather my strenght, and off to the DIY local megastore again! cheers Billy for your your support! (...and all the geezers in the video 'f course) ;-)

  89. w.... ....

    Bloody marvellous

  90. L.... G....

    Stella cast & so much heartache ,why is it that to be a real man you have to be great at DIY ?
    BB is a poet for all and IMHO a national treasure.

  91. 1.... ....

    Brilliant!

  92. I.... M....

    Have found out that I have been bought tickets to see BB later in the year during the tour for the new alburm - fantastic! I look forward to singing this song with my wife so that she knows that I too have the handyman blues.

  93. A.... S....

    You big bunch of girls! you lot can write good comedy and songs and stuff, but please don't let us average guys down by saying you can't do DIY! - our world (blokes like U and me) is based on us being hopeless at everything, but we always try our best at DIY, and on the whole, that is the single most important thing we can bring to our normal family lives - long live the man and the diy! - (love it btw :) )

  94. n.... ....

    From protest songs and songs with social comment to this one which is a bit of a laugh. The guys got talent and no mistake. Nice one Billy.

  95. l.... ....

    Love the roll of the eyes from Ross Noble after Kevin Eldon high fives him.

  96. T.... A....

    really good to see Johnny doing well.

  97. 0.... ....

    This has got to be one of my favourite music videos ever

  98. m.... ....

    I bet they can do diy really. They're just saying that they cant.