Bette Midler - Big Noise From Winnetka - Divine Madness Version Lyrics




[Harlettes:] This is the story of a young girl
who was the hippest chick in town.
They call her Big Noise from Winettka.
Miss Birdie's sure to get around.
Big Noise flew in from Winnetka,
stole each fellow's heart and then
Big Noise flew in from Winnetka,
Big Noise flew right out again.
Stop! Look! Listen! Here comes the Big Noise!
Stop! Look! Listen! Here comes the Big Noise!

[Bette:] I am the one they call the Big Noise.
I'm looking fine and feeling sharp.
I just flew in from Winnetka, don't you know?
I'm gonna blow this joint apart!

I got my high heels! I don't need no wheels!
My footwork is an art!
You know the joint is jumpin',
my heart is pumpin',
and this is just the start!
Whoa! I was a big noise from Winnetka,
I'll be a big noise in your heart!
Whooooa!

[Harlettes:] Tempting when she's walkin',
tempting when she's talkin'!
Listen to her squakin'!
There she goes 'round again,
up and then down again,
in and then out, ooooh, bop!

"Hi! Welcome to another foul evening with the Divine Miss M!
"After many a summer dies the swan,"
but not when their stuck in a turkey as big as this one!
Watch us as we scratch and claw out hour
upon the stage in yet another feeble-minded attempt
to turn chicken shit in to chicken salad.
Make no mistake about it, eggs will be laid tonight!
Ain't that right girls? Oh, my girls.
My three favorite schochkies on the breakfront of life.
I'll never forget the first time I found these girls,
selling their papayas on 42nd Street. So flushed, so filthy.
The astonishing verbal abuse they heaped upon me made me certain
we were destined to share the stage someday.
Not only are my girls fine singers and dancers,
not only are they gorgeous and talented,
but they also think I'm god!
Ain't that right, girls?
They function as a greek chorus.
These girls don't know shit about Euripides,
but they know plenty about Trojans.
Ladies and gentlemen, a rousing hand for the semi-classical
Harlettes! Laides!
Alright girls, sing 'em your siren song, go ahead.
Turn them men into pigs. Not the band, you idiots.
Those, that bunch right over there in the front row.
Not much of a challenge, huh?
This group is already well on its way to oink oink land.
Oops, so sorry. Once again behaving in a manner I had sworn to aschew.
Thank you. Once again falling into the vat of vulgarity.
Oh tut tut. I did so want to leave my sordid past behind and emerge
form this project beathed in a new and ennobling light.
I wanted to come out and be the sweet, pure, honest,
unadorned person that I really really am.
I wanted to show you the good beneath the gaudy,
the saint beneath all this paint, the sweet, pure,
winsome little soul that lurks beneath this lurid exterior.
But fortunately, just as I was about to rush down the path
to repectability and righteousness,
a wee small voice called out to me in the night
and reminded me of the motto by which I've always tried to live my life:
F$CK 'EM IF THEY CAN'T TAKE A JOKE!"

[From the soundtrack:] "Hi! "After many a summer dies the swan,"
but not when she's stuck in a turkey the size of this one!
Make no mistake about it folks, eggs will be laid tonight!
Ain't that right girls? Oh, my girls.
My three favorite schochkies on the breakfront of life.
I'll never forget the first time I found these girls,
peddling their papayas on 42nd Street.
Not only are my girls fine singers and dancers,
not only are they gorgeous and talented,
but they also think I'm god!"

[Bette:] I am the one they call the bi-i-i-i-g noise!
I am a living work of art!
I just flew in from Winnetka, daddy-o!
I'm gonna blow this joint apart!

Everyone has a bit of big noise in his heart.
Everyone loves a little sin.
Well, I'm gonna be the first girl in the line
when the festivities begin!

I was a scandle, too hot to handle!
They said, "You'd best depart!"
Oh! Exit Big Noise from Winnetka.
Enter . . .

[Harlettes:] Enter! Enter!
Big Noise in his heart!





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Bette Midler Big Noise From Winnetka - Divine Madness Version Comments
  1. Alex North

    the ageless divine miss m. was lucky enough to see her in 'clams on a half shell' in chicago, about 20 miles south of winnetka where, had she shown up dressed like that singing and dancing like that, she would indeed have been a BIG noise.

  2. canuckyukyuk

    "Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke!" are words to live by. I adopted it as my own mantra after seeing this movie when it was first released. I also saw it in gigantic IMAX. I have the DVD, too. It never gets old.

  3. Max Bartholomai

    Bette Midler is my version of Jesus.

  4. Raymond Maurer

    This show is so well written. So much so she would repeat it throughout her live performance career only varying it slightly over the years. Only Bette could pull off rapid-fire banter with such a clever turn of phrase. i.e. pairing Euripides with Trojans. For those of you who haven't a clue what either of these things mean, I have only to say, get off the computer and learn something useful for God's sake and FUCK 'EM IF THEY CAN'T TAKE A JOKE!

    ThunderCookie

    +Raymond Maurer I think it's even more impressive that she was extremely sick that night and still delivered such an amazing performance! That is true show(wo)manship right there!

  5. DERVT

    The Harlots are, from left to right, Jocelyn Brown, Ula Hedwig and Diva Grey. Just perfection in this performance by Bette et al before HUGE stardom. Loved it for over 30 years. X

  6. dusty rodgers

    Winnetka and the rest of the W shore of Lake Michigan is very affluent.

  7. dusty rodgers

    I just found out from a Chicagolander that Winetka

  8. Sherry Hannah

    I got my copy at Blockbuster cheaper for 2.00 that and A Star is Born wow huh???...the Star is Born one was the one from '76 with Barbra Streisand and Kris Kristofferson it on VHS both of them

    eroupopper

    Cherilyn Hannen Damn!! you are mega lucky!!

  9. Sherry Hannah

    that was funny when she said going to turn chicken shit into chicken salad!!!!!....lol...!!!!!!..love Bette great singer...I have this movie and always laugh at the jokes..can't understand why it R rated with the dirty language it should have been PG there was no killing..you're invited to another fowl evening with the Divine Miss M..lol...!!!!....another joke was that Princess Grace was writing a book about Caroline and calling it Daughter Dearest...lol...!!!!..funny eh???

  10. TheVineyarder

    the middle harlette was Ula Hedwig..other trivia ...Bette was very sick with a flu and high temp that night..being the pro that she is she carried on none the less..this was one of her best show..managed to see it 3 times at the majestic in NYC

  11. demondincredible

    I ran into this at Wal-Mart in the $5 bin. I couldn't help but want to pay more for the concert special so I brought two lol

  12. Divine Grace

    @Citrohan

    That is Ula Hedwig.

  13. kthinsa

    Yuppers, that is how she started out...a Harlette, before Peg Bundy days...lol gotta love her.

  14. Citrohan

    I think that maybe Katey Sagal as the center Harlot.