Beautiful South, The - Don't Marry Her Lyrics




Think of you with pipe and slippers
Think of her in bed
Laying there just watching telly
Think of me instead

I'll never grow so old and flabby
That could never be
Don't marry her, fuck me

And your love light shines like cardboard
But your work shoes are glistening
She's a PhD in "I told you so"
You've a knighthood in "I'm not listening"

She'll grab your sweaty bollocks
Then slowly raise her knee
Don't marry her, fuck me

And the Sunday sun shines down on San Francisco Bay
And you realise you can't make it anyway
You have to wash the car
Take the kiddies to the park
Don't marry her, fuck me

Those lovely Sunday mornings
With breakfast brought in bed
Those blackbirds look like knitting needles
Trying to peck your head

Those birds will peck your soul out
And throw away the key
Don't marry her, fuck me

And the kitchen's always tidy
And the bathroom's always clean
She's a diploma in "just hiding things"
You've a first in "low esteem"

When your socks smell of angels
But your life smells of Brie
Don't marry her, fuck me

And the Sunday sun shines down on San Francisco Bay
And you realise you can't make it anyway
You have to wash the car
Take the kiddies to the park
Don't marry her, fuck me

And the Sunday sun shines down on San Francisco bay
And you realise you can't make it anyway
You have to wash the car
Take the kiddies to the park
Don't marry her, fuck me





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Beautiful South, The Don't Marry Her Comments
  1. Radai Mark

    I don't get married often but when I do I get married with this music on.

  2. Marianne

    I love this so much - thanks to my lovely mum for getting me into the beautiful south ⭐️

  3. Ribnaa Hanaa

    Breaking up families is no good. Having said that, it's a great tune and the voice is lovely.

  4. Dermos05

    She's Ridiculously hot

  5. Prithvi

    Think of you with pipe and slippers
    Think of her in bed
    Laying there just watching telly
    Then think of me instead
    I'll never grow so old and flabby
    That could never be
    Don't marry her, fuck me
    And your love light shines like cardboard
    But your work shoes are glistening
    She's a PhD in "I told you so"
    You've a knighthood in "I'm not listening"
    She'll grab your sweaty bollocks
    Then slowly raise her knee
    Don't marry her, fuck me
    When the Sunday sun shines down on San Francisco Bay
    And you know that you can't have it anyway
    You gotta wash the car
    Take the kiddies to the park
    Don't marry her, fuck me
    Those lovely Sunday mornings
    With breakfast brought in bed
    Those blackbirds look like knitting needles
    Trying to peck your head
    Those birds will peck your soul out
    And throw away the key
    Don't marry her, fuck me
    And the kitchen's always tidy
    And the bathroom's always clean
    She's a diploma in "just hiding things"
    You've a first in "low esteem"
    When your socks smell of angels
    But your life smells of Brie
    Don't marry her, fuck me
    And the Sunday sun shines down on San Francisco bay
    And you realize you can't make it anyway
    You have to wash the car
    Take the kiddies to the park
    Don't marry her, fuck me
    And the Sunday sun shines down on San Francisco bay
    And you realize you can't make it anyway
    You have to wash the car
    Take the kiddies to the park
    Don't marry her, fuck me

  6. John Reilly

    Love this song remembers me of my dear friend thatbwas killed 25 years ago god bless

  7. Dr Nasir Sagheer Hussain

    Nice song

  8. Grandas Girl

    Do what u want I'm done ur free but I will charge everyone if it don't stop

  9. Lewisss121

    GREAT SONG XXXX RIP DAVIE BHOY

  10. Neal Green

    I remember this had just come out and was playing on the radio just after I got my first job in a bike shop when I was 18.

  11. GECKman88

    Fucking youtube/vevo and their "safe" versions of shit.

  12. Stephen McDowell

    sweaty bollox...

  13. Peter Simpson

    i was too young when this came out to appreciate how beautiful she was

    Lee Hey

    She is absolutely stunning

  14. J T

    Jacqui still looks so hot and I prefer her hair longer!

  15. Paul g

    I would have chosen the wife

  16. Andrew Joseph

    Ah ! Jacqui Abbot (St Helens)

  17. Sanjeet Giani

    Beautifull rhythm. .....wonderfull melody 💞💓💞💓💞

  18. David Harris

    Yo your more pathetic then a cripple in a cripple porn shop

  19. David Harris

    Your a thief

  20. David Harris

    He must be mentally crippled she must be aswell

  21. Melvin Stephens

    The best group ever always songs that get in your head

  22. Mark Proctor

    I remember walking through our local garden centre a few year's ago and this was playing softly in the background...yes you guessed it, the album version. I wonder if they ever realised LOL

  23. Trisha Hopkins

    I've often wondered if Sandra Bullock knows that she's a walking euphemism?

  24. Emma Cahill

    Her voice 😍😍😍

  25. Charlie Kirby

    Still listening 23 years later.

  26. zeze do bone

    I won't merry NOBODY!!! NOBODY at all....

  27. Joel

    this fucking song plays EVERY FUCKING DAY on the radio at work and I AM LOSING MY MIND!!!!

  28. magnivisimo

    Missed opportunity: The chorus in the explicit version doesn't go "you'll have to wash the car, take them titties to the park"

  29. Mark Alexander

    Haha I remember the shock of buying the album and hearing the other version xD

  30. Mr Brightside

    Don't merry her, fuck me

  31. jonnyrangers1

    I would’ve married her then......and now!

  32. Vjhv Cjhcv

    She's beautiful.

    Katie

    Eh? Jacquie? I think she looks a bit like a fella!

    Vjhv Cjhcv

    @Katie beauty is in eye of the beholder.

    Katie

    @Vjhv Cjhcv That's very true - So says all of the ugly folk 🤪🤪🤪 Just kidding 😘 x

  33. andrew rockliffe

    She has such a fabulous, quirky voice.

  34. Paul Groves

    Don’t marry her, f### me 😁

  35. Todd zombie87

    See that guy in the video?

    Thats me right now and I dont know what to do with my life.

    Katie

    @Toddzombie87 Find a big ass bridge and JUMP kid! 🤣 Am joking! Buy a one way ticket somewhere you've always wanted to go and start a fresh - nothing stopping you! Change,change your life 🧚‍♀️

  36. Forlorn Dream

    I married the good girl. I dumped the girl that used to call round to my house 3 times a week horny and with beer. She only ever wanted sex from me but I wanted more. What a fucking fool I was.

  37. Julie Scanlan

    Didn't know that there was a dirty version until I went to Stockport County last night and everyone sang it. I was shocked. The concert was absolutely amazing though.

    Anna Davies

    It was amazing

  38. AderynCoch

    I'm not usually a fan of censoring profanity but "Sandra Bullocks" is a wonderful euphemism.

  39. Mark Allgood

    The job that kills you, The mortgage, The suburbs! Run! Run! Run!

  40. Pooper Scooper

    Oh my goodness beautiful memories

  41. Katie Louise Williams

    Love this song

  42. Jimbob84141

    F*** me sweaty b****** lalala....

  43. Michael Mcdonald

    Ughhhhhhh cringe

  44. bluemoonracer123

    at 1:20 that is a UK plug but isn't this song set in San-fransisco?

    arenalife

    You should marry the boring wife :)

  45. Juliet Kalashnikoff

    Ty. Theme tunes of school through college to university. And , surviving a drunk for ten years. Now out the other end of the tunnel. A narrative of triumph.

  46. Studs Ramrod

    Great songs, great singers, great band. You can't ask for much more!

  47. Nico Pavot

    Fuck me?

  48. paulkazjack

    Goes on a bit though.

  49. Jasper Jones

    I only listen to older music. The soul has gone these days.
    Wonderful band ❤️

  50. 0x777

    Still wanna learn to play this. For the wedding of a friend...

    JamesLawlor

    it's 5 chords. you could learn it in 10 minutes.

  51. Chelsea Loui5e

    Don't marry HER have me

    Joseph Kelly

    Chelsea Loui5e lovely looking girl. :)

  52. daniel _

    I WAS SO INNOCENT. I ONLY KNEW THIS VERSION. THEN I REMEMBERED THIS SONG AS AN ADULT... AND FOUND OUT I HAD BEEN LIED TO ALL THIS TIME!

  53. The Orion

    play it 1.25x

  54. mr y mysterious video

    I always thought the Sandra bullocks line was funnier and more witty than the original line

  55. Sally Rose

    The only bad thing about this is it gives girls like that hope that someday somewhere a bloke will still be decent, but not a brat worshipping pram pushing wimp looking for another version of his mother. God aren't we all disappointed.

    Costin ThePit

    It also gives guys hope that there are still decent Girls out there who really want love and that are able to see beyond a guy s physical aspect or financial well being and are not whores who stay with them for four months before they get bored and they leave them for another Guy who's more good looking or has more money. And I honestly think, actually I know for sure that there still are.

  56. swewunna

    I have never heard of dirty version until a few days ago. What I have been missing for these years. I suppose it didn't make the censures back home. LOL.

  57. Michael cc

    I'm 28 and remember singing this in front of my family and not this version.... and I must have been 12 13 and didn't understand why they went mad 😂

    JacobiteBhoy

    😂👍

    Trisha Hopkins

    That is so funny

    Cihangir Özemir

    Same happened to me, as a dad 😀

  58. Mike Beck

    nie i bleib ledig

  59. Cantankerous Twat

    Love that song.....

  60. RoScFan

    I prefer the fuck me version. In fact what that version does is arouse me! The prob is the fuck version doesnt show the hot singer.

  61. Mark Smith

    Don't marry her fuck me but the cleen version

  62. Tiago Serodre

    The song is great. Downvote because why the fuck would you fucking censor it. What's so offensive about fuck?

  63. monstersince

    please dont Maria

  64. Anthony Cornish

    Jacqui comes from my home town, she used to come into the nightclub I worked in, she is absolutely stunning and a lovely person

  65. I Drink Therefore I Dram

    Well fuck me they edited it😂x

  66. Geoffrey Jenkins

    Not the real version

  67. Tommy Chinn

    Enjoyin the sunshine smokin a big fat Bob Marley joint listenin to Beautiful South x

  68. Daisy Sparks

    😂😂😂Couldn't get this song out my head 😜😂😂😂

  69. Sarkawt saeed Ahmed

    Think of you with pipe and slippers
    Think of her in Bed
    Laying there just watching telly
    Then think of me instead

    I'll never grow so old and flabby
    That could never be
    Don't marry her, fuck me

    And your love light shines like cardboard
    But your work shoes are glistening
    She's a Ph. D in 'i told you so'
    You've a knighthood in 'I'm not listening'

    She'll grab your sweaty bollocks
    Then slowly raise her knee
    Don't marry her, fuck me

    And the Sunday sun shines down on San Francisco bay
    And you realise you can't make it anyway
    You have to wash the car
    Take the kiddies to the park
    Don't marry her, fuck me

    Those lovely Sunday mornings
    With breakfast brought in bed
    Those blackbirds look like knitting needles
    Trying to peck your head

    Those birds will peck your soul out
    And throw away the key
    Don't marry her, fuck me

    And the kitchen's always tidy
    And the bathroom's always clean
    She's a diploma in 'just hiding things'
    You've a first in 'low esteem'

    When your socks smell of angels
    But your life smells of brie
    Don't marry her, fuck me

    And the Sunday sun shines down on San Francisco bay
    And you realise you can't make it anyway
    You have to wash the car
    Take the kiddies to the park
    Don't marry her, fuck me

    And the Sunday sun shines down on San Francisco bay
    And you realise you can't make it anyway
    You have to wash the car
    Take the kiddies to the park
    Don't marry her, fuck me

  70. Jennifer Watt

    I love to hate you

  71. Mister M

    It's not supposed to be "have" me...

    Jason Clift-Jones

    ...or your Sandra Bullocks...

    Rebecca Lawton

    Mister M it is supposed to be don't marry her marry ME

    callum hardy

    ‘Fuck’

  72. Julie VanBerkel

    Great song and cleaver lyrics - shame it's the sanitized version though.

    That Guy

    I know "Fuck me" am I right

    Lyn Chet

    Indeed and not "grab your Sandra Bullocks" either :)

  73. Lawrence Taylor

    Don't marry her, fuck me to quote the original version

  74. A. J. R. Wilde

    don't marry her Harry! (have me)

    swewunna

    Harry who, Harry McGuire?

    Arron Somerville

    naw fuck me

    auntmay100

    I am a German,but pls fuck me....😇😈

  75. Aidan

    It's annoying that they got rid of the old video which had 2.2 million views on DJ Bayonic's channel, just because they finally decided to upload it themselves.

  76. jamsee1

    Given this great song... i think he chose the right option! :D Jacqui Abbott is hot stuff in this video... good golly!

    purplegrrl711

    she was always hot

  77. lisa x

    dont' marry her have me
    a song that i think my ex need to play lol

    PHAR CYDE

    lisa x lisa come across the pond and have me 😉

    Michael Morrison

    C'mon Lisa get over Him. Move on better fish in the pond never mind going over the pond

    Sparklelass

    The original version is actually 'don't marry her, fuck me' 😄

  78. Jennifer Williams

    Amazing voice and song.

  79. Amy Burdge

    Grew up listening to this song in the 90's and I'm still listening to it now. Great song.

  80. Gail Sandison

    The CLEAN version.

    purplegrrl711

    Johnny Cade and a couple of other things listen to the unclean version on the beautiful Souths, "Blue is the colour" album

    Harry Cooke

    Gail Sandison sadly miss them

    TheRealWinsletFan

    Yup, and the only proper copy I can find here is blocked, do I really have to go down to the basement and root through the boxes for the CD, jeez....

    Slave2PaperWithInkOn

    Gotta lot of {temporary} man-made MILLIM£TR£$ in the BANK ?

    ComUnSas

    'She'll grab your sweaty bollocks
    Then slowly raise her knee
    Don't marry her, fuck me'

  81. King Jeremy

    Don't marry her, have me

    tommy shaw

    ill marry u xx

    JareczeK

    😀😀😀😀