Arlo Guthrie - Alice's Restaurant Massacree Lyrics

Thanks !

He should have done the duck song.

Love you Arlo, saw you in Sydney last year and you were fabulous but nearly got battered by some millennial twat with his fossil's for singing along. Fuck I wish the gig was at Alice's.

Ok if you guys dont know rodney alcala used this song to pick up girl and willing to kill the girl

Bouta go to MEPS

What can I say?

This song is called Alice's Restaurant, and it's about Alice, and the restaurant
But Alice's Restaurant is not the name of the restaurant, that's just the name of the song, and that's why I called the song, Alice's Restaurant

You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
Walk right in it's around the back, just a half a mile from the railroad track
An' you can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant

Now it all started two Thanksgivings ago, was on - two years ago on Thanksgiving, when my friend and I went up to visit Alice at the restaurant, but Alice doesn't live in the restaurant, she lives in the church nearby the restaurant, in the bell-tower, with her husband Ray and Fasha the dog. And livin' in the bell tower like that, they got a lot of room downstairs where the pews used to be. An' havin' all that room, seein' as how they took out all the pews, they decided that they didn't have to take out their garbage for a long time

We got up there, we found all the garbage in there, and we decided it'd be a friendly gesture for us to take the garbage down to the city dump. So we took the half a ton of garbage, put it in the back of a red VW microbus, took shovels and rakes and implements of destruction and headed on toward the city dump

Well, we got there and there was a big sign and a chain across across the dump saying, "Closed on Thanksgiving." And we had never heard of a dump closed on Thanksgiving before, and with tears in our eyes we drove off into the sunset looking for another place to put the garbage

We didn't find one. Until we came to a side road, and off the side of the side road there was another fifteen foot cliff and at the bottom of the cliff there was another pile of garbage. And we decided that one big pile is better than two little piles, and rather than bring that one up we decided to throw ours down

That's what we did, and drove back to the church, had a thanksgiving dinner that couldn't be beat, went to sleep and didn't get up until the next morning, when we got a phone call from officer Obie. He said, "Kid, we found your name on an envelope at the bottom of ab' a half a ton of garbage, and just wanted to know if you had any information about it." And I said, "Yes, sir, Officer Obie, I cannot tell a lie, I put that envelope under that garbage."

After speaking to Obie for about fourty-five minutes on the telephone we finally arrived at the truth of the matter and said, that we had to go down and pick up the garbage, and also had to go down and speak to him at the police officer's station. So we got in the red VW microbus with the shovels and rakes and implements of destruction and headed on toward the police officer's station

Now friends, there was only one or two things that Obie coulda done at the police station, and the first was he coulda given us a medal for being so brave and honest on the telephone, which wasn't very likely, and we didn't expect it, and the other thing was he coulda bawled us out and told us never to be see driving garbage around the vicinity again, which is what we expected, but when we got to the police officer's station there was a third possibility that we hadn't even counted upon, and we was both immediately arrested. Handcuffed. And I said "Obie, I don't think I can pick up the garbage with these handcuffs on." He said, "Shut up, kid. Get in the back of the patrol car."

And that's what we did, sat in the back of the patrol car and drove to the quote Scene of the Crime unquote. I want tell you about the town of Stockbridge, Massachusetts, where this happened here, they got three stop signs, two police officers, and one police car, but when we got to the Scene of the Crime there was five police officers and three police cars, being the biggest crime of the last fifty years, and everybody wanted to get in the newspaper story about it. And they was using up all kinds of
Cop equipment that they had hangin' around the police officer's station. They was taking plaster tire tracks, foot prints, dog smelling prints, and they took twenty seven eight-by-ten color glossy photographs with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each one was to be used as evidence against us. Took pictures of the approach, the getaway, the northwest corner the southwest corner and that's not to mention the aerial photography

After the ordeal, we went back to the jail. Obie said he was going to put us in the cell. Said, "Kid, I'm going to put you in the cell, I want your wallet and your belt." And I said, "Obie, I can understand you wanting my wallet so I don't have any money to spend in the cell, but what do you want my belt for?" And he said, "Kid, we don't want any hangings." I said, "Obie, did you think I was going to hang myself for litterin'?" Obie said he was making sure, and friends Obie was, cause he took out the toilet seat so I couldn't hit myself over the head and drown, and he took out the toilet paper so I couldn't bend the bars roll out the - roll the toilet paper out the window, slide down the roll and have an escape. Obie was making sure, and it was about four or five hours later that Alice... Remember Alice? It's a song about Alice... Alice came by and with a few nasty words to Obie on the side, bailed us out of jail, and we went back to the church, had a another thanksgiving dinner that couldn't be beat, and didn't get up until the next morning, when we all had to go to court (1/2)

We walked in, sat down, Obie came in with the twenty seven eight-by-ten color glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one, sat down. Man came in said, "All rise." We all stood up, and Obie stood up with the twenty seven eight-by-ten color glossy pictures, and the judge walked in sat down with a seeing eye dog, and he sat down, we sat down. Obie looked at the seeing eye dog, and then at the twenty seven eight-by-ten color glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one, and looked at the seeing eye dog. And then at twenty seven eight-by-ten color glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one and began to cry, 'cause Obie came to the realization that it was a typical case of American blind justice, and there wasn't nothing he could do about it, and the judge wasn't going to look at the twenty seven eight-by-ten color glossy pictures with the circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each one was to be used as evidence against us. And we was fined fifty dollars and had to pick up the garbage in the snow, but that's not what I came to tell you about

Came to talk about the draft

They got a building down in New York City, it's called Whitehall Street, where you walk in, you get injected, inspected, detected, infected, neglected and selected. I went down to get my physical examination one day, and I walked in, I sat down, got good and drunk the night before, so I looked and felt my best when I went in that morning. 'Cause I wanted to look like the all-American kid from New York City, man I wanted, I wanted to feel like the all-, I wanted to be the all American kid from New York, and I walked in, sat down, I was hung down, brung down, hung up, and all kinds o' mean nasty ugly things. And I waked in and sat down and they gave me a piece of paper, said, "Kid, see the psychiatrist, room 604."

And I went up there, I said, "Shrink, I want to kill. I mean, I wanna, I wanna kill. Kill. I wanna, I wanna see, I wanna see blood and gore and guts and veins in my teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill, kill, kill, kill." And I started jumpin' up and down yelling, "Kill! Kill!" and he started jumpin' up and down with me and we was both jumping up and down yelling, "Kill! Kill!" And the Sargent came over, pinned a medal on me, sent me down the hall, said, "You're our boy."

Didn't feel too good about it

An' I proceeded on down the hall gettin' more injections, inspections, detections, neglections and all kinds of stuff that they as doin' to me at the thing there, and I was there for two hours, three hours, four hours, I was there for a long time going through all kinds of mean nasty ugly things and I was just having a tough time there, and they was inspecting, injecting every single part of me, and they was leaving no part untouched. Proceeded through, and when I finally came to the see the last man, I walked in, walked in sat down after a whole big thing there, and I walked up and said, "What do you want?" He said, "Kid, we only got one question. Have you ever been arrested?"

And I proceeded to tell him the story of the Alice's Restaurant Massacre, with full orchestration and five part harmony and stuff like that and all the phenome... - and he stopped me right there and said, "Kid, did you ever go to court?"

And I proceeded to tell him the story of the twenty seven eight-by-ten color glossy pictures with the circles and arrows and the paragraph on the back of each one, and he stopped me right there and said, "Kid, I want you to go and sit down on that bench that says Group W, now kid!"

And I, I walked over to the, to the bench there, and there is, Group W's where they put you if you may not be moral enough to join the army after committin' your special crime, and there was all kinds of mean nasty ugly looking people on the bench there. Mother rapers. Father stabbers. Father rapers! Father rapers sitting right there on the bench next to me! And they was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type guys sitting on the bench next to me. And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest father raper of them all, was coming over to me and he was mean 'n' ugly 'n' nasty 'n' horrible and all kind of things and he sat down next to me and said, "Kid, whad'ya get?" I said, "I didn't get nothing, I had to pay $50 and pick up the garbage." He said, "What were you arrested for, kid?" And I said, "Litterin'." And they all moved away from me on the bench there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things, till I said, "And creating a nuisance." And they all came back, shook my hand, and we had a great time on the bench, talkin' about crime, mother stabbing, father raping, all kinds of groovy things that we was talking about on the bench. And everything was fine, we was smoking cigarettes and all kinds of things, until the Sargent came over, had some paper in his hand, held it up and said

"Kids, this-piece-of-paper's-got-47-words-37-sentences-58-words-we-wanna-know-details-of-the-crime-time-of-the-crime-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-you-gotta-say-pertaining-to-and-about-the-crime-I-want-to-know-arresting-officer's-name-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-you-gotta-say", and talked for forty-five minutes and nobody understood a word that he said, but we had fun filling out the forms and playing with the pencils on the bench there, and I filled out the massacre with the four part harmony, and wrote it down there, just like it was, and everything was fine and I put down the pencil, and I turned over the piece of paper, and there, there on the other side, in the middle of the other side, away from everything else on the other side, in parentheses, capital letters, quotated, read the following words:

("Kid, have you rehabilitated yourself?")

I went over to the Sargent, said, "Sargent, you got a lot a damn gall to ask me if I've rehabilitated myself, I mean, I mean, I mean that just, I'm sittin' here on the bench, I mean I'm sittin' here on the Group W bench, 'cause you want to know if I'm moral enough join the army, burn women, kids, houses and villages after bein' a litterbug." He looked at me and said, "Kid, we don't like your kind, and we're gonna send you fingerprints off to Washington."

And friends, somewhere in Washington enshrined in some little folder, is a study in black and white of my fingerprints. And the only reason I'm singing you this song now is cause you may know somebody in a similar situation, or you may be in a similar situation, and if your in a situation like that there's only one thing you can do and that's walk into the shrink wherever you are ,just walk in say "Shrink, You can get anything you want, at Alice's restaurant.". And walk out. You know, if one person, just one person does it they may think he's really sick and they won't take him. And if two people, two people do it, in harmony, they may think they're both faggots and they won't take either of them. And three people do it, three, can you imagine, three people walking in singin' a bar of Alice's Restaurant and walking out. They may think it's an organization. And can you, can you imagine fifty people a day,I said fifty people a day walking in singin' a bar of Alice's Restaurant and walking out. And friends they may thinks it's a movement

And that's what it is, the Alice's Restaurant Anti-Massacree Movement, and all you got to do to join is sing it the next time it come's around on the guitar

With feeling. So we'll wait for it to come around on the guitar, here and sing it when it does. Here it comes

You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant
You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant
Walk right in it's around the back, just a half a mile from the railroad track
You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant

That was horrible. If you want to end war and stuff you got to sing loud. I've been singing this song now for twenty five minutes. I could sing it for another twenty five minutes. I'm not proud... or tired

So we'll wait till it comes around again, and this time with four part harmony and feeling

We're just waitin' for it to come around is what we're doing

All right now

You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant (Excepting Alice)
You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant
(I said) Walk right in it's around the back, just a half a mile from the railroad track
You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant

Da-da da-da da-da da-dum
At Alice's Restaurant (2/2)

The coolest entrainment while sitting by the firering and listenin and drinking a cold one.

anyone else 2020??

Probably not I thought this was just a Thanksgiving tradition song

a mess decks inking
laurie richardsons stinking
michael welch thinking

Needing yo*u* more than a dozen other people in the world are a strong leader in the world of the italian lakes and the second is called aunt and the second is called aunt and daughter of a girl who went to the hospital for a few days before the italian lakes and the second is called aunt and her husband and the second is called aunt and daughter of a girl who went to the hospital for a few days before the death of her father.

Needing yo"u" more

I love richie.

Rhyming is a sign of being bipolar.

Great balls of fire.

He shot the sheriff

I see so many little boys

Did u know arlo is a psychoanalyst in my paper? Cntrl v

It's in the berkshires?!

Listening in January 2020 in preparation for this year's Thanksgiving! Still sounds great!!!

Hey everyone. Let's get this song trending again in 2020. We don't need yet another war in the middle east.

Good luck to everyone who gets called for the Iran draft. Your lives have meaning and it's worth fighting it.

At Alice's restaurant will you get

Om mani peme hung
No superstition

??

8:40 ------- The Killing Game - Rodney Alcala's

Just a quick question. How many people listening to this under the age of 55 can actually repeat this entire story word for word and not miss a Beat? And yes, I can. LOL

I met this dude ,
Great guy🍀🌴🍀🌹🍀🌴🍀

Just wasted 20minutes

Was just watching the movie...had to come see what it was all about...glad I did...now I know of something I didn't know before ❣️

There is a Group W bench in my garden for all the weary travelers to wonder about...

can i get the lyrics to this?

For 24 years I lived next door to Alice.

Thanks Mrs. Nocero of Minoela Middle School for showing our class this song back in 2002!

I'm still in Group W. Locked And Loaded.

Now "Father Rapers" is in discussion

My boss made me listen to this dumb ass song at work WTF

15:50 The Alices resturaunt anti massacre of movement is still strong as if December 2019!! ( first heard this song thanks to classic acoustic playlist on Spotify. How have I been on this earth since 1984 and never heard this until 35 years later ) so under rated.

I sang it in 1968 because I like Arlo did not want to be drafted.

First time that I ever heard this and I’m a child of the 60’s.

My dad used to blare this song, every. single. Thanksgiving. As a kid, I HATED it. I find myself missing my dad and my childhood, and listening to it. Now as an adult, I enjoy it.

I volunteer Ed and never got poked that much since I was barely 18 Year$ old

You can get anything you want at Alice’s Restaurant.....exceptin’ Alice.😂

He was in Key West and did this song.

Many times saw him perform. Including last year.

Great relaxing song.

I did this one on the karaoke a couple of years ago... I only got 10 minutes in before I was asked to stop 😂😂

Love the whole story that Arlo tells. Whenever this song ends, I'm always sorry that it's over.

You can get anything you want

Arrived in Vietnam February’68 and after about a month found myself in a tent with a bunch of guys who were listening to music and someone asked me if I had heard this record, I had not and was met with much derisive laughter. So of course they played it for me after which it became a staple for late night in the bunker music parties. It defines our generation as much as Woodstock and The Beatles. When I got home I saw the movie, brilliant. Unlike most here it’s not part of my holiday tradition but it remains a cultural icon.

I’m 17 and I love this song. Came on 97.1 last Thanksgiving and me and my grandpa laughed our butts off. Not to mention it’s just something good to hear for the heart

Someone here in the past week commented that he had wasted his 18 minutes listening to a song that made no sense. He no doubt is a youngster. He doesn't understand double entendre (google 'define entendre in English'). It means two meanings. Think about it. We living mammals eat, we use what nutrients are valuable and we dump out the rest. Hence it is a song that resonates best with a holiday centered around eating. Thanksgiving. The song is telling a story about the clash between those that attempt to force square pegs into round holes, in society, in general. It is about what results from that effort. They get dumped on. I can't believe this needs to be spelled out but some people's comments drove me to it. They weren't protesting the tune or the musicianship. They were actually clueless regarding the point. They must be young adolescent teens with much to learn. That's all that I can figure.

Those were the days! In this day and time of Trump this 66year old Hippie really needed this amazing Arlo Album today. Thanks Tenafly Viper. Happy Thanksgiving sisters and brothers!

A Thanksgiving tradition since I turned my girlfriend (now wife) on to it our first Thanksgiving 15 years ago

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 ✌🏻️

Have the LP and watched the movie almost as many times as Easy Rider....

This song plays on a radio station where I live a couple times on Thanksgiving every year

In memory of Joe Behan.

How did this ever become a Thanksgiving staple . . . talking about eating a burnt corpse and father rapers & mother rapers . . 💀💀💀😂😂😂

Every Thanksgiving, going on 30 years now. 👍

Memories

Just left Alice's restaurant !¡!¡!¡!¡

In 1968 I had Thanksgiving dinner with my family at Griselda Guthrie's apartment. Her brother Arlo was almost there but he couldn't find transportation to Colby Kansas.

My father always sings you can get anything you want at Allison’s restaurant. I guess it was really alices

52 years. Still an awesome song

STILL just as hilarious as the first time I heard it!!!

👋 😛 🍻

Sounds like my dads story . He was poor and stole cars so he got a choice Vietnam or jail . He got his back broke in a Jeep wreck and got discharge and a life of pain . Just bec he was a moral car thief who was good enough to send to burn houses and kill women and children .

I Purchased This Cassette In The Late 80s Just For The Track...

I think that was the longest run-on sentence I think I have possibly heard in my entire life; although that's not really saying all that much as seeing I have only been alive a scant 45 years which may sound like a long time to some of you whipper snappers but I can assure you when you and if you finally achieve a man, or woman since I'm in no way sexist it's just a figure of speech which we don't really have much of anymore; you will then come to the illustrious realization that 45 years on this Earth is just a drop in the bucket and still young like a spring chicken, and given the fact that I have not really listened to a whole lot of songs in my illustrious career as a human being but that's not really true as quite honestly I have heard tunes from around the world and have danced to the cha Cha, the tango, the fan dango, the alligator, the twist, the two step, the watoosie and 100 more that I have forgotten the names of because it's not really important to the conversation at hand; but suffice it to say I've heard my fair share of ballads and I have NEVER heard a single person go that long without taking a breath or even inserting a period which is really impressive if you think about it cause a run-on sentence of that nature takes an amazing amount of talent and skill and craftsmanship or otherwise it will just come out as gobbldey goop and not make the first bit of sense.

I use to hear this song on either B-94, or WYDD back in the 80's.

Give props to Arlo. This is one Thanksgiving song that I can hear forever.

I remember the first time I ever really listened to this on Thanksgiving... Just home from the Army
1989 at 12 noon...
And every year since 99.7 wrfx in Charlotte NC plays it......high noon!

My two fav lines r " put that letter under that garbage"....kill kill...your our boy.

Just listened to this for the first time and wow. That was amazing.

I never make it to my family thanksgiving meal until about 12:24 every year, I just can’t eat without this this awesome toe tapping appetizer. Have to cough long before it comes on, one of the few times a year that I just have to cough, and will until I die or just don’t have enough marbles left upstairs to.

08:43 " I wanta kill!" Greetings from Mobile Alabama

Lived with my mother, father, grandmother, and grandather in one house my whole life until my parents got divorced when I was 9 or 10. I was closer to my grandparents than most people, seeing them every day and all. Holidays were everything to us, especially Thanksgiving and Christmas. My aunts, uncles, and great aunts and uncles would come over to our house and have a big meal and spend the whole day together every 3rd Thursday of november. My grandparents died 1 week apart last spring, and my aunts and uncles dont come around as much any more. Going from full houses on holidays to only me and my father is quite a shock. I couldnt stand the thought of these days coming up since then, dreading the feeling. Last summer, the father of my good friend was being made fun od by his kids for only listening to a select few old songs, and he turned to me for my opinion. I asked to hear a song, and he gave me one. His wife and kids (my friends) disliked the song, but I strangely liked it. Since then, that song has kept me positive throughout the holiday season, especially Thanksgiving so far, and I'm starting to feel happy again. Thank you Mitch for showing me such a great song, changing my outlook on life. Thank you for showing me Alice's Restaraunt.

My dad always played this song on Thanksgiving but sadly he died on the 6th of October and now I'm playing it for him like he always did for me

Alice published a cookbook...recipes for Thanksgiving...left the feeling something was being smoked....

This is decades before i was born and i have no clue wtf youtube was thinking. I know they've been fucking with the algorithm lately but damn.

Every year around this time I log in to this video and always see all the posts. Every year all new posts. I love it. Happy Thanksgiving to all the Alices Restaurant loving folks. Keep the tradition going. Thanks for a great one Arlo.......

Oh, this takes me back...my brother and I listening to the album in the living room... and I remember the whole era. What a time. Just waitin' for it to come around again....

It's the day after Thanksgiving! Never too late to listen to this. Every year. The best.

I still have this album, I bought new when I was a teenager. I give it a listen now and again.

what in the f*ck am I listening too?

A great song

Fb won't let me share because it breaks community guidelines on guns animals hate speech love speech n implements of destruction

I was at the actual restaurant a few years ago and it was overpriced and kind of average.

Well then that is as it should be. You can't even get what you pay for these days. You can't anything you want at Alice's Restaurant these days.

I told my wife that i wanted this played at my funeral!

been listing to this for the past 45 years every Thanksgiving, Its a tradition

Every Thanksgiving for decades i have played this song, like my brother before me - Arlo is the best! So was his father!

Such good memories of my youth. As an old man this gave me so much joy. What has happened to our world?

I'm 68 years old and I remember when this album came out. I was anti-war....then I got drafted. Lol. Thank you sir. Greg

I was in VN and we got a fng in just before T-Day 1968. He had memorized Alices Resturant. Soon we all had it memorized.

I always liked Arlo Guthrie. And this song really hits home for me! LOL.
He lost his wife of many years about 3 or 4 years ago.

Underappreciated.

This song is an American treasure!

It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without this playing in the background while amazing smells come out of the kitchen.

How long did it take you to realize the cover picture is moving?